Love Rectangle? 8.5>2

[elizabeth]

Where to begin. I met someone, there seemed to be mutual attraction. The man's best friend, and his wife, accompanied us on a group activity a week ago. At first I trusted this woman, enough to share that i was interested in the man in question. Three days later her "support" shifted to inexplicable declarations that I should ignore the man in question, never respond to him, assurances from her that he is unreliable, not the one for me, that she's not interested in him at all, he's not her type, oh, did she say already that she's not interested in him at all? Or that he's not her type? ANd that she feels no attraction for him. Ahem. And that things with her husband (his best friend) are strained, they married too quickly, htere's no love, and her husband isnt as active and outgoing as the man in question. But she's not interested in him. But neither should i be.

What is her role in this? 8.5>2

I take it as me being the hunted, lead towards the gate. She's the King, directing the events.

HOw should i proceed? 8.5>2.

Hmmm. Same thing. Is it possible to interpret the same hexes in two ways for different questions/answers? If so, I would guess this means do not lead, but go on my own path, decide what i want and do it, and do not take direction from her.

Needless to say i'm not trusting her again but what began very promising is now exploding in my face, thanks to her. Other interpretations of these hexes?

As more background, he had invited me after a birthday party to two events. One was what turned out to be last Saturday's group sport activity. I was thrilled just to be with him. But now he seems to be suggesting this continue as an ongoing group thing, and is treating me (i feel) more as a friend. That may be fine, but I do not know how to read him. The second was an invitation (at the bday party, as we parted) to take me to the symphony. However yesterday he sent me an email "remember the concert i mentioned/ Here is the link. I have a conference in X city the 3 days prior so dont know if i can make it."

WHat is M's position in all this? 63.1.5>15
He is pulling back and modest. Can i interpret this as NOT Interested or having lost interest (due to the lies the friend's wife has been telling him about me?)

 

[themis]

Fear not, the truth will prevail in the end.

Hex. 8.5 'Manifest grouping' she's attempting to attach herself to your 'beau', all the while
feigning.

Hex. 63.1.5 - though he's 'pulled back', retreated, he'll appreciate your value as depicted in
line 5. Don't know how long it'll take. He'll see through your 'friend'.

 

[elizabeth]

Thanks Themis. What makes no sense to me is why would someone believe what ver she said, to the point that it affects their actions towards me.

I also do not really know *what* she told him. She could have said I'm madly in love with him. She could have said that *i* said i'm totally not interested. I have no idea, i only know she is lying to me and deceiving me. And probably him too. Why do people do this? The little little poeple who have nothing else to do but create drama? It blows me away. Kindergarten. I mean REALLY.

 

[Tohpol]

Another way to see 8.5 is the idea of our own inner Dao. 8 isn't just about external groups but about Union. I think your Yi is answering your question by reminding you what is needed in this situation rather than this woman's role - that's not the important factor. Linked with this idea is if a partner is meant for you, he'll find you. Nothing will stop him arriving but it can be delayed by neglecting one's inner group and attitude. So, once again, this is saying there's no need to force things here. You've let him know you're available and he'll have to make the decision to act on it or not by seeing through the BS. Deal with things as they come to you and don't try too hard.

63.1.5 > 15

More or less saying the same thing. Everything is ok. Just stop and allow things to develop - everything is fine. Keep that "static" down....

 

[elizabeth]

Thanks Topal. Yeah the static this week has been so loud I have not been able to think. Thanks for the reminder .

It's really hard to trust in Fate when (to date) it hasn't really provided...ahem. But i will try.

 

[themis]

Don''t worry lady. You'll lose sleep over it, beauty sleep too. There are far too many of such people
around. Perhaps she sees you as a threat, especially as things with her husband are strained at
present - who knows, could be she had a view to a 'kill' re. your beau. As to what she said to undermine you, don't trouble yourself trying to figure it out. The truth will emerge, one day.

Just be yourself, let your 'inner truth', sincerity, integrity shine. Careful about who you share matters
close to your heart with ... especially when it's just the beginning.

Life will give you another chance 'le destin sonne toujours deux fois' you're always given a second chance, so to speak, in whatever situation.

 

[elizabeth]

J'ai besoin de cette deuxieme fois -- especially in this particular case, I really need that second chance. It maybe sounds trite, but I feel a strong connection to him, in a way I haven't felt before, on more (varied) levels, broader and deeper. I'm so scared that --yet again-- it will be ruined, by her, by Fate, by circumstance, or whatever. Or by me -- it's my fault that I told her how I felt about him. I have actually never done that with a stranger before, but she was (at that point) playing as if she was "on my side."

UGH. I wish i could erase it all!!

Thanks for the input, I appreciate support right now

 

[themis]

'What God has joined together let no man put asunder' - God's authority, providence, universal
justice always ensure the best possible outcome.

If it's meant to be, nothing can interfere permanently. Fate, circumstances, etc. do not ruin things,
they merely alter the course of events ... always for the better in the long run.

'When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it' The Alchemist by
Paulo Coelho.

You're not at fault ! You were trusting and spontanenous, the universe knows that !

Bon dimanche

 

[elizabeth]

Thanks Themis (I Love Coelho btw). As my youth passes me by, I am becoming more of a skeptic but it's hard not to believe such beautiful words. So I'm going to try to keep believing Thanks.

 

[griffy]

Dear Elizabeth: Remember that the I Ching, regarding the changing line in the 5th place, asks that you throw the coins again to determine if you are strong enough to hold your position. The 5th line is the middle line of the trigram 'danger'. It is also the top line of the inner trigram 'stopping'. So you have a strong line in a weak place that is held in danger.
The hexagram then changes to 2-'receptive'. The most important characteristic of hexagram 2, or so I have found in my 35 years of using the oracle, is strength; because few things are more difficult than staying calm enough to allow the Tao to work.
Receiving the same throw twice in succession usually means that the I Ching is asking you to see the throw as a life lesson as well as a direct answer to a specific question.
There is nothing to be done about this situation except to remain balanced and see what the Tao brings you.
Or so it seems to me. Of course it's easy for 'me' to suggest that someone else stay strong.

Best Wishes,
griffy

 

[elizabeth]

Thanks Griffy. Well the lesson I"ve learned is do not be trusting and open to new "friends."

Other than that, I dont really know what I am to guard against. I have to wait for this guy to ask me out and show some initiative... so it's going to be a lot of waiting, potentially (altho i hope not!)

As regards the girl, she phoned me today about doing something tonight, I said I had to work which was not true, but I am presuming any facts I give her now will go back to him. And I believe she does want to befriend me but only to use it as a means to get to My Beau, ie if she thinks he has some interest, she can provide him info he didnt already had, ie "Oh well I talked to Elizabeth on Saturday and she was doing XYZ." To show she's close to me. Although (in my book) she's not -- and won't be. Not truly, not really.

I'm good at waiting though -- it's been 36 years of waiting so far, I can certainly do it for another 36 years (although i really do hope i wont have to...!)

 

[themis]

Know what lady, if he swallows all the misleading info. without even questioning it, then I personally don't think he deserves you.

 

[elizabeth]

Good point Themis Excellent point.