Making it Through The Crossroads

[kestral]

Hi, I'm hoping someone could help me out with this reading. I've been stuck in a proverbial "Crossroads" in my life for quite awhile now. Patterns repeat and the same thnigs just keep on happening over and over again despite my trying different ways of approaching the situations, I find myself getting the same results and back to square one (whether it's in my work or love life). I decided to ask the I-Ching for guidance.

So I asked what I need to do get through the Crossroads and make it to the next stage of development in my life and I recieved 36,2->11.

Darkening of the Light sounds ominous but at least there appears to be a light at the end of the tunnel with Peace. But the whole point is, I feel as if I've been stuck at 36 for a very long time (years), so how do I go about moving to 11?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

 

[frank]

Hi Kestral,

36 has to do with the nerve to stand up for your own individuality here... Line 2 is the line of the army... (as the only gua with a yang line on the second place is 7 The Army, so I call this the line of the army) and to me the army has to be run by a general who has no doubts... Be yourself and do not have doubts... Did you back off in the past, because of doubts, in relationships, work, whatever? DO NOT DOUBT, and the peace will come :-D...

In the text of line 2 you are hit in the left tigh, (where the heart is!!!), but you will get help from a strong horse (your desires, without the doubts...). Is there something on this crossroad you realy realy realy want badly enough? THEN DON'T YOU THINK IT IS ABOUT TIME YOU GO FOR IT???

Line 2 is also the line of the people who helps the minister, the administration.,,,, so lots of people,,, if you are fearfull, don't hasitate to ask someone who you admire for there courich (wow, is this english :-D) to help you... (and then THEY will be the strong horse :-D)

Hang in there!

Hug,

Frank

 

[bradford_h]

Hi Kestral
In 36.2, Plan B is many times better than Plan A.
The horse is many times stronger than the thigh before it was wounded.
But this wasn't made use of until the wound happened.
Make more use of what you have just been through, take advantage of any misfortune.

 

[learner]

Dear Kestral,

I got Hex 36 many times in the past before finding my way through "the darkening of the light". However difficult the situation may appear, it is reversible indeed. According to the second moving line, I think that you might find someone to help you out. Perhaps you should seek help ? either a friend or a professional.

Hope it helps
Mirian

 

[kestral]

Hi Frank, Bradford, thank you so much for your replies. I have some specifics responses regarding your interpretations...

Frank - I think that you really reached the soul of the situation. There is a lot of doubt on my part. It's not only that I fear failure and rejection, but I think that I also fear success because success means change and change is scary. And that's the irony of it. On one hand, I feel so frustrated because things just stay the same, but on the other hand I'm afraid of change! Yet change is the only way out of this situation. I guess it's a matter of the devil you know being less scary than the devil you don't? There is a lot of fear and hesitation on my part in terms of my life and I think I need to really sit down and finally realize that if I let things stay the same, then it will just stay the same and I'll never get out of this, or I can take a chance and try to move to the next level. It comes down to motivation, I guess I've let my fear of loss/change motivate me instead of the prospect of gain (but isn't that always the case? Fear is stronger as a motivator than the possibility of gain?)

Bradford - it's interesting you mention the idea of a Plan A and Plan B. I've always been one of those personality types that is so focused and obsessed with Plan A working out that I don't even bother with a Plan B because I want Plan A to work out so much. Of course Plan A invariably fails and I'm left holding the bag without a plan. I guess it comes down to three things: 1. To not get all "Captain Ahab" about Plan A 2. To come up with a Plan B that is just as compelling as Plan A (if that's possible) 3. To accept it if Plan A doesn't work out that it's not the end of the world because that puts way too much pressure on myself (and on Plan A).

I find that both your interpretations of the I-Ching much more deep than anything I could have come up with from the books I have - I'd be curious to know which translations you're reading (or is it just a case of someone who's an objective third party having a better view of things?)

 

[kestral]

Hi Mirian - ahhh looks like we were both writing at the same time

Thank you for your suggestion - it's something I've thought of doing - I've spoken to many friends yet I get conflicting advice and suggestions, biased opinions and responses that sometimes are even self-serving for them so it's really difficult to find someone, but now that I think about it, there is someone who may be able to help me out.

It's funny because a few days ago I threw the I-Ching asking about what I can do to work things out with the person I have fallen for. And the answer I got was Hexagram 35 with lines 2 and 3 moving resolving to Hexagram 50. Both lines talk about help/support from people, particularly line 2.

 

[bradford_h]

Hi Kestral-
I have a pretty decent Yi bibliography on my site, where I highlight all my favorite versions in bold type. (Section H. Click to my profile for the link).

 

[frank]

Hi Kestral,

Thank you for letting me know that I hit the jackpot :-D... It's because of 12 years experions of intenionaly using the I Ching, and to be in the same situation as you are :-D! I also have fears of succes, and am a controlfreak, and want to do things to perfectly. When even a small single part of the whole package is not going the way I want it to, I stop... One of my dreams was to have a praktice on my own in things like the I Ching and some other stuff, but I noticed I was not very handy in business.. I still have a dream, altough not in 'conrete' form again yet, to do something with things like the I Ching, and becoming a member of the Friends Area is a nice start I say... :-D I also started to look around here as I heared from it by a I Ching collegue and friend of mine, and because I needed some help with answers of the I Ching as well... Usualy the answers are not much of a problem, only when I';m to emotionaly involved, like when I'm in love, or the presure on the job is intense, I can't read the answers correctly, mostly because I get very insecure, and when it is a bad answer (the yi never gives bad answers, but then it's to emotional for me and it feels that way) I want to get comphert and a beter one by a third party and then this site comes in :-D... I'm glad I could be of some service...

Make your dream alive!

Hug,

Frank

 

[frank]

Hi Kestral,

As Bradford mentions Plan A and Plan B... My Plan A was to be the BF of someone I realy love very much, but she does not feel the same for me and so I'm going for Plan B, to be friends, as in the past I did not have a plan B and I just ran... (You don't want me as a BF... OK, see ya...). Now I have a Plan B, and perhaps... you never know...
The best relationships starts out of friendship...:-D

And I received a 'oneliner' from someone which still gives me some strengh when I need it on my own search: "When you can't get it from the right, why not try to get it from the left :-D?"...

Hang in there!

Hug,

Frank

 

[jte]

" [Brad...] I find that both your interpretations of the I-Ching much more deep than anything I could have come up with from the books I have - I'd be curious to know which translations you're reading"

"Hi Kestral-
I have a pretty decent Yi bibliography on my site, where I highlight all my favorite versions in bold type. (Section H. Click to my profile for the link)."

FYI, Kestral, Brad is being a bit humble here, as he also *wrote his own* Yi translation (with due attention to scholarship, I might add). It is downloadable from his site for free and, IMHO, quite good.

- Jeff

 

[bradford_h]

Thanks Jeff.
That's just some 02.3
Still working on it.

 

[kestral]

Hey everyone! Once again, thanks for the great replies and kind thoughts!

Wouldn't you know it - a big promotion I have been waiting two months for finally came through! I'm going from contract to full time salaried with benefits! It's been a very long time coming!

Of course there's a snag - they're still working on the headcount issue so I'm doing a "temp" full time job for now but I've been moved inside the company (though still technically contract). It'll be anywhere from a few weeks to 3 months before I move into my new position (it's an upper mgt position) but it will happen!

The job I was doing was at a dead end so this was a HUGE move through the crossroads for me. Now the other huge crossroads for me to cross is my personal life.

My work life and personal life has always reflected each other in that I never had a full time salaried job before, always contracts but never full time. So this is a huge psychological boost for me. Maybe the pieces are starting to fall into place?

 

[bradford_h]

Hi Kestral-
Is this near the core of the question that gave 36.2>11?
Or was it set off to the side for the sake of your personal crossroads?
And, if so, did you also divine on this career move?
b

 

[kestral]

HI Bradford, basically my life has been at a standstill for almost 3 years (and if I don't count a huge failed attempt to move to Alaska, pretty much most of my adult life).

I've literally been stuck in a rut all my adult life - always trying and not getting where I want to go, whether it's the job I want or the girl I want to be with. There two me really are the two core issues of my life where I've been stuck in the same level and no matter what I did, it didn't work.

If I tried, then the knock against me was I tried too hard. If I didn't try as hard, then simply nothing happened.

I knew the this being a universe of change, someone like me whether everything stays the same is an anomoly and I knew at some point something had to change. Yet nothing I did seemed to make it happen. I still don't know what or how and I'm still not all the way there yet but my feeling when I asked about when I would make it through the crossroads of my life was to finally move out on my own and have my own life (a job that can allow me to do so and also a meaningful relationship). That's really all I wanted out of life yet time and time again it has eluded me.

So this promotion is a huge breakthrough in my life.

Right now there is someone I really care about and like my job situation is/was I'm wondering how I can break through in this area of my life as well.

In any case, maybe my question was too general(?) but I basically asked what I needed to do to get out of this "stuck at the crossroads" sitiation and find the right path to travel.

 

[bradford_h]

The question's too general for me to get specific on.
but at least it's an excuse to share one of my favorite Plan B stories.
If nothing else, you get a story here.


Fatima the Spinner and the Tent

As retold by Idries Shah in Tales of the Dervishes, p. 74
Version attributed to Sheikh Mohamed Jamaludin, d. 1750

Once in a city in the Farthest West there lived a girl called Fatima. She was the daughter of a prosperous spinner. One day her father said to her: ?Come daughter; we are going on a journey, for I have business in the islands of the Middle Sea. Perhaps you may find some handsome youth in a good situation whom you could take as a husband.?
They set off and travelled from island to island, the father doing his trading while Fatima dreamt of the husband who might soon be hers. One day, however, they were on their way to Crete when a storm blew up, and the ship was wrecked. Fatima, only half-conscious, was cast up on the seashore near Alexandria. Her father was dead, and she was utterly destitute.
She could only remember dimly her life until then, for her experience of the shipwreck, and her exposure in the sea, had utterly exhausted her.
While she was wandering on the sands, a family of cloth-makers found her. Although they were poor, they took her into their humble home and taught her their craft. Thus it was that she made a second life for herself, and within a year or two she was happy and reconciled to her lot.. But one day, when she was on the seashore for some reason, a band of slave-traders landed and carried her, along with other captives, away with them.
Although she bitterly lamented her lot, Fatima found no sympathy from the slavers, who took her to Istanbul and sold her as a slave.
Her world had collapsed for the second time. Now it chanced that there were few buyers at the market. One of them was a man who was looking for slaves to work in his woodyard, where he made masts for ships. When he saw the dejection of the unfortunate Fatima, he decided to buy her, thinking that in this way, at least, he might be able to give her a slightly better life than if she were bought by someone else.
He took Fatima to his home, intending to make her a serving maid for his wife. When he arrived at the house, however, he found he had lost all his money in a cargo which had been captured by pirates. He could not afford workers, so he, Fatima and his wife were left alone to work at the heavy labor of making masts.
Fatima, grateful to her employer for rescuing her, worked so hard and so well that he gave her her freedom, and she became his trusted helper. Thus it was that she became comparatively happy in her third career.
One day he said to her: ?Fatima, I want you to go with a cargo of ships? masts to Java, as my agent, and be sure that you sell them at a profit.?
She set off, but when the ship was off the coast of China a typhoon wrecked it, and Fatima found herself again cast up on the seashore of a strange land. Once again she wept bitterly, for she felt nothing in her life was working in accordance with expectation. Whenever things seemed to be going well, something came and destroyed all her hopes.
?Why is it?? she cried out for the third time, ?that whenever I try to do something it comes to grief? Why should so many unfortunate things happen to me?? But there was no answer. So she picked herself up from the sand, and started to walk inland.
Now it so happened that nobody in China had heard of Fatima, or knew anything about her troubles. But there was a legend that a certain stranger, a woman, would one day arrive there, and that she would be able to make a tent for the Emperor. And, since there was as yet nobody in China who could make tents, everyone looked upon the fulfillment of this prediction with the greatest anticipation.
In order to make sure that this stranger, when she arrived, would not be missed, successive Emperors of China had followed the custom of sending heralds, once a year, to all the towns and villages of the land, asking for any foreign woman to be produced at Court.
When Fatima stumbled into a town by the Chinese seashore, it was one such occasion. The people spoke to her through an interpreter, and explained that she would have to go to see the Emperor.
?Lady,? said the Emperor, when Fatima was brought before him, ?can you make a tent??
?I think so,? said Fatima.
She asked for rope, but there was none to be had. So, remembering her time as a spinner, she collected flax and made ropes. Then she asked for stout cloth, but the Chinese had none of the kind which she needed. So, drawing on her experience with the weavers of Alexandria, she made some stout tentcloth. Then she found that she needed tent-poles. But there were none in China. So Fatima, remembering how she had been trained by the wood-fashioner of Istanbul, cunningly made stout tent-poles. When these were ready, she racked her brains for the memory of all the tents she had seen in her travels: and lo, a tent was made.
When this wonder was revealed to the Emperor of China, he offered Fatima the fulfillment of any wish she cared to name. She chose to settle in China, where she married a handsome prince, and where she remained in happiness surrounded by her children, until the end of her days.
It was through these adventures that Fatima realized that what had appeared to be an unpleasant experience at the time, turned out to be an essential part of the making of her ultimate happiness..

 

[kestral]

Bradford, thanks for the great story! That's what my life feels like a lot! As I sit here tonight, feeling like I'm so close to getting through the crossroads of my career, I can't help but think of the dark times, and I couldn't wish it on my greatest enemy.

Having some sort of resolution in my work life (closed the chapter on my old job today and started the new one!), I decided to ask the I-Ching more specifically about my personal life issue, perhaps you could provide some insight (or another wonderful story?)

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/92/2720.html?1097799268

 

[demitramn]

always like hearing that story Bradford - i imagine that most people can see themselves in it to some degree

for Kestral: another story for your 36,2->11 inquiry. For some reason this one seems fitting, too.
<BLOCKQUOTE>``````````````````</BLOCKQUOTE>THE ANT AND THE CONTACT LENS

A true story by Josh and Karen Zarandona

Brenda was a young woman who was invited to go rock climbing. Although she was
scared to death, she went with her group to a tremendous granite cliff. In spite of
her fear, she put on the gear, took a hold on the rope, and started up the face of that
rock.

Well, she got to a ledge where she could take a breather. As she was hanging on there,
the safety rope snapped against Brenda's eye and knocked out her contact lens. Well,
here she is on a rock ledge, with hundreds of feet below her and hundreds of feet above
her.

Of course, she looked and looked and looked, hoping it had landed on the ledge, but it
just wasn't there. Here she was, far from home, her sight now blurry.

She was desperate and began to get upset, so she prayed to God to help her to find it.
When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but
there was no contact lens to be found. She sat down, despondent, with the rest of the
party, waiting for the rest of them to make it up the face of the cliff. She looked out
across range after range of mountains, thinking of that verse that says, "The eyes of
the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth." She thought, "God, You can see
all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where
my contact lens is. Please help me."

Finally, they walked down the trail to the bottom. At the bottom there was a new party
of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, "Hey, you
guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?" (well, that in itself would be startling enough, you know, but...) "Spotted an ant moving slowly across the face of the rock, carrying it!"

Brenda told me that her father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story
of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a picture of an ant lugging that
contact lens with the words, "God, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing.
I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for
You."

I think it would probably do some of us good to occasionally say, "God, I don't know why
you want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if you
want me to carry it, I will."

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

 

[kestral]

Hi Demitramn,

Thank you so much for the wonderful story! The last line about being qualified is especially funny, considering my job situation!

A little update - I was told I got the job last week and had a snag - it ended up that on Monday I was told the HR issues were cleared up! I recieve the offer last night and right now, I am still stunned - the job is a much more senior position than I realized (and the compensation to go with it) and I feel grateful for the opportunity and humbled by the circumstances that have transpired. I have always carried around a list of things I want to accomplish if only I had the means to do so. Now I will. It still hasn't all sunk in yet but that's ok. I decided that what I'm going to do is just go on with life for now as if nothing happened and then slowly adjust to it.

 

[demitramn]

Congrats on the new beginning! Don't be afraid to enjoy this upswing cycle in your life - sounds like it's been long overdue.

Demitra