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dragona

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Hello, again:footinmouth:
Very important issue, considering my previous thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=15229
What will take to regain my composure/to settle my nerves? hex 58.3,4>5
I can`t control it anymore...:freak:
got fed up as right in the middle of updating on yesterday`s post, my mother was provoking me to the point of screaming (yet again).:rant:
What I would like to know, is does this reading suggest getting medical help for my condition as I don`t take anything at all in the sense of self-medication.
This cast suggest negotiations, persuasion, maybe restraint?
I can`t see clearly now, if you would care to help, this I really need to figure out.:bows:
 
G

goddessliss

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Hey dragona - I reckon this reading says using something to assist you to find peace within will help you immensely in finding patience in your external world.
Personally I am not a fan of western medicine over eastern medicine and I use herbs, flower essences and meditation to combat my anxiety, depression and whatever negative emotion or mental state of being I may be in at that present moment.
Let's hope that you find something to help and you find yourself being joyously mental.

- Liss
 

bamboo

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Dear Dragona,
Your situation is one that would make anyone feel crazy and desperate. It is very serious. Caring for an elderly, unwell and cranky person, without help no less, is not only extremely trying, but it is dangerous for you. You must get some kind of help. I think 58 suggests finding someone to talk to, a counselor perhaps.....you need 'authentic exchange' , someone to hear you, witness you and love you with caring attention.

If you can't afford to pay for a therapist, there are sometimes pastoral counselors at churches who will see you for free or nominal fees. Community organizations, too, have such personnel.

I am not opposed to medication as a temporary buffer, but I would be careful in this instance. You don't want to take a road that makes you more dependent and less empowered. It really sounds to me like you need some very solid human contact, and that, with such assistance, you have a very good chance of recovering your composure and finding your naturally good feelings. In fact, if you were in someone's care, then maybe medication could be an adjunct for soothing your nerves. But trying to go this alone is not advisable.

Sometimes in a dire situation like this, there is a feeling of futility and thus a reluctance to follow any advice. lots of excuses and reasons why nothing will work. I mention this because 43 from your other thread suggests that decisive action is necessary, but line 4 cautions about unwillingness to be led. You must acknowledge your own needs right now and then be diligent about getting them met. All the best to you:hug:.
 

hopex

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Dragona - some suggestions

are you sleeping ? - maybe ask Doc for something that helps
you feel rested when you wake.

I am anti meds but in extreme situations a short course can
make the difference between total collapse and staying in the game

The other thing is daily gratitude lists - list 100 things to be grateful
for such as bed to sleep in clothes on your back food in your stomach
the money you do have. The ability to use your legs, your sight, your
hearing, flowers, nature, kind words,

The next thing is action - get up and move - get out of the 4 walls and
walk round the block.

Unless you ask your neighbours and those physically near to sit in while you
walk or to be on hand as a second pair of eyes while you get the reparative
sleep you need - you cant take up the nose of this plane that is heading ground-ward.

58 implies joy and then 5 patience - there is a book 'be happy' by Robert Holden - only a change of
perspective will effect the change you crave - new thinking

plus I have a feeling your Mother resents you focussing on the internet and not her -
In a time of crisis I took to journalling constantly and my family hated it - but it was
an outlet for me. You cant help Mum til you help you need to heal and get strong 43 time for action

believe me - i know burn out - use the anger achieve something each day - a flower arrangement
on the table - serve tea and biscuits in lovely china from a thrift shp - creativity heals

make your bedroom a haven of cleanliness and peace - write a novel or about this experience -
write what you would advise others to do in your position - it may be better than you know,,,,
 
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dragona

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Thank you ladies, all very sensible proposals, what else
Of course I need a human exchange, person of trust to love etc. but ..this is boring people and they have only so much understanding. I am not expected to be "needy".
I did mention that we are sad country and reached the bottom in economical sense. Community follows the trend. I am not trying to be defensive, but would have to go to a lot of detailing so....I will eventually have to see a canceler, but they are very limited in offering helping tools.
I believe that my MD would offer help, but I need my mind clear and if I got diagnosed with something, it may be used against me, my situation wise. So i am reluctant to seek help, heard bad reports about depression treatments etc and I am expected to get up in the middle of the night to assist. SO, yes, I do sleep, dream vividly and disturbing (Courtney thinks my 3rd eye is soaring) but the metabolism is ruined.
It is very complicated, passive-aggressive behavior towards me if I am unwell.
No wonder I got alienated.
Even writing about this makes me feel angry.
And I still don`t understand the cast.
 
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ginnie

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What will take to regain my composure/to settle my nerves? hex 58.3,4>5

I myself am confused about line 58.3, but let me quote John Blofeld about 58.4: "Calculating future joys, he is restless and suffers from various small ills, yet he is happy. Commentary: There will be happiness in spite of all this foolish anxiety because blessings will be received."

He adds that the blessings will be unexpected.

I think line 58.3 has to do with meditation, going within to find our happiness. In any event, pleasure can be found externally but happiness is never found in the outer world.

Maybe in your community they have Al-Anon meetings. I have heard they are good for just about anybody, not just the relatives of alcoholics. Most communities have 12-step meetings. Maybe you could go online and check out the mental health resources in your community. Sometimes there are meetings that are almost free of charge. I read Bamboo's post and I agree with her that you need to find some allies.
 

dragona

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Maybe in your community they have Al-Anon meetings. I have heard they are good for just about anybody, not just the relatives of alcoholics. Most communities have 12-step meetings. Maybe you could go online and check out the mental health resources in your community. Sometimes there are meetings that are almost free of charge. I read Bamboo's post and I agree with her that you need to find some allies.
Checked, there is one, but not where I live.
There are quite a few takes on 58.3 in Memorizing Threads that are helpful- respect for that thread idea :bows: - but honestly, I am not able to make sensible conclusions atm.
 

dragona

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Still dwelling on this reading, for obvious reasons...:(

So far, for my situation I came to this interpretation:
Hex 58 for me is always about establishing exchange, communication, discussion.
3rd line is in the place that`s about to change, so the current behavior must be changed.
Since I asked what will take for ME to settle, it must be referring to my faults.
C. Anthony`s comment I red the first and she mentions the roughness in the communication which immediately rung the bell as I have been very angry and rude lately with my mother - just an indication of the height of my crises, I am the person who rarely would use a cuss word before - I have a philosophy about that. So I think that was the reference to immediate pleasure and gratification in this case, reminding me that it goes against my very principles and turns me into a looser in (useless) fights.

4th line is a tougher to figure for me but I found it could be somewhere along the lines of this:
Karcher's interpretation - "Expressing yourself through bargaining and arguing. You have not yet reached an agreement. Rigorously guard against sudden emotional afflictions that would distort your judgment. This gives you cause to rejoice."
(http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=11671)
Well, that`s pretty upt to the situation, seems only accentuating the message in the previous line.
Also barging and arguing could also be about negotiating ie discussing it with somebody of interest - could it be the sign to get some outside counseling? (Tho I have no strength for therapist and digging within my insides - I can`t stand too much of it now and probably can`t get to it either).
The line also says that will help make the house happy, sort of, as it says blessing will be received (one of those phrases again :rolleyes:) but it does seem to collide well with resulting hex that asks for biding for better times.:confused:

I am opened for possible comments, naturally :bows:
 

ginnie

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Blessings will be received is not a throw-away line. It seems to me that as a result of the stresses you have been under, you are taking in the bad stuff and throwing away the good.
 

dragona

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I can`t see much good about this situation as it is not helping anyone to have a quality life- far from it.
It took me all day of calming down and rain to fall in order to write the above.
I really can`t see that her condition will get improved significantly or any improvement in material sense and that would be much needed. So the modest explanation makes more sense to me.

What is your opinion, what "Blessings will be received" is referring at?
I really can`t say...
 
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hopex

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Dearest Dragona

Adding to Ginnie's suggestion - ring the alanon people they will
support you over the phone - even visit you like as not - nooone
but no-one knows how to make an unbearable situation bearable
better than alanons - life saving

they will support you through outreach:bows:
 

ginnie

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People who do outreach! Dragona, you must contact them!
 

meng

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Hi Dragona,

I read this that you are relying on certain conditions, those which will hopefully be coming soon, for your joy. h5 is a condition of ti-ming, and expresses the joy of having ones essential needs met while waiting for conditions to enable further progress. This means moving your attention from the war or big cause to gather and eat with other members, to associate in the right spirit, one could say. Then when the right time comes, you will be ready.

This waiting for you-don't-know-what feels like it drives you crazy. If you take a couple deep breaths and blow out the stress, you may find that nothing is wrong. Then maybe you hang with some people who are good for you.
 

dragona

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Thank you all.
I find it so amazing how some are able to sum it all up, like meng here...but it is not easy to live within the summation, if you understand.
I have no real hope, only some wishful thinking. needless to say, friends are all gone.

I have posted the answer before but the connection broke.
A. people as far as I know are active in a town well known for its addictiveness problems, in a different county. Not sure how I fit in. Considered boozing tho.
But it gave me the idea to try and find a number for my mother to call when she feels confused etc.
Thank you, D.
 

meng

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Thank you all.
I find it so amazing how some are able to sum it all up, like meng here...but it is not easy to live within the summation, if you understand.
I have no real hope, only some wishful thinking. needless to say, friends are all gone.

I have posted the answer before but the connection broke.
A. people as far as I know are active in a town well known for its addictiveness problems, in a different county. Not sure how I fit in. Considered boozing tho.
But it gave me the idea to try and find a number for my mother to call when she feels confused etc.
Thank you, D.

My summary was a long distance shot zoomed closer up. I didn't take your feelings into account, as I think that's sorta the point. Before something can be done to improve the situation, we must see it as it is, not only as we've become entangled with it to see. That's why I interact with the Yi, for an objective view of what I feel effected by. Yi tells me what is effected and why.
 

meng

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Dragona,

I knew this intense Buddhist guy, his nic name was 'no hope'. His intent was to imply that only when hope is dissolved was there no one there (dissolved ego or identity association). Only when no one is there is Dharma clear and pure.

Referring to:
I have no real hope, only some wishful thinking. needless to say, friends are all gone.

You don't need hope, only vision (wishful thinking) and energy to accomplish it.
 

dragona

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only when hope is dissolved was there no one there (dissolved ego or identity association).
no one more sad then myself for the idea of ego dissolving does not work...sucked me dry.
 

meng

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Not entirely, no, or not until someone is ready for that, if ever in their lifetime. However, I think you will agree that a great deal of the advice we receive from the Yi has to do with taming our impulses and baser instincts, which is summarized in h41, but can be found in several others as well: 6, 10, 15, 26, 27, 36, 39, 44, 47, 51, 54, 56, 59and 60, and implied throughout the book. Another pearl where this is found is 23.6: the big fruit not yet eaten: The noble one acquires a sedan chair, the small man strips the hut. Which part of ourselves do you suppose is represented as the small man, and which as a junzi?
 

dragona

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My first IC book was by Carol K. Anthony and she is all about self searching in that sense, to the point of not giving any practical references to lines even, so I used her book and would come to work and diminished my ego among competitive bunch of women in stress imposed atmosphere to the point of burn out and disappointed with them all after getting fired because one had to go, so the one who was the most friendly and harmless was the perfect choice....just to give an example why it doesn`t work and in most situations is considered weakness.
And it sucks, no growth - and that sucks even more.
 

meng

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If anything is taken to extreme or is entirely focused on it at the exclusion of a well-rounded world view, it goes awry. Anti-ego is just another ego trap. I personally support a healthy ego, but it still presents problems. It's like 34, where the problem is that you're cranked up beyond what the situation calls for, and as a result can get your horns tangled in shrubs. Clearly a case of the little self taking more of the big stuff on than is appropriate. Leave that big stuff to the one that could handle it, in 7 to the elder brother.

If this doesn't agree with you, no problem. It's where I see a solution. I believe at least 90% of all our problems exist because we have an impelling need to fill emptiness with... something.
 

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