Mistake...or was it? Mulling it over, and over, and over...

[jillc]

Hello Again, Everyone

I'm still chewing on the messages of 36 (oops) and 22 (actual) hexagrams. I'd welcome some input, because I'm getting all tangled up in my own cross-references!

As I said in my earlier post, I do see complementary and supplementary messages in both that relate to the situation. But on the surface, at least, the two hexagrams seem polar opposites, one counseling distance and the other display. And because the primary messages seem so different, I am struggling to make them come together in some sort of logical way.

In trying to reconcile these apparent opposites, I have more or less concluded that they deal with inner and outer behavior. 22 could be advising a confident, serene, and elegant external demeanor and 36 extreme circumspection (perhaps even a little deceit?) while playing my cards close to the vest -- not revealing my true thoughts or feelings or even knowledge of certain events, and especially not showing anger. In other words, both seem to advise putting on a front, though from different perspectives.

Moving on, lines 1, 5, and 6 were changing, giving me 39, which also advises retreat and distance, supporting the counsel of 36, and suggesting that resolution is already under way and success is still possible. (In what form, I cannot tell.)

If any of you wiser, more experienced, arms-length heads (!) out there can help me sort this out, I'd be very grateful. I don't want the relationship to end, but neither do I want it to continue as it has been. Ideally, we could move foward into something mutually satisfying.

Thanks

Jill

 

[heylise]

There is one thing about 39: it certainly is about changing things. The pair 39 and 40 are both about freedom, 40 says 'loosen in order to be free' and 39 says 're-imagine in order to be free'.
And 22 has a lot to do with making life simple, reduce it to a size which really fits you and nothing more.
Not much, but maybe a tiny little bit of help?
LiSe

 

[candid]

Hi again, Jill!

I see 36 as being about guarding your light. Its not darkness from within it talks about but from without. Council is to not attach yourself to the darkness but to retreat into where your light can be protected. This archetype of cave can be visualized in many ways. Unconscious mind, Tao, Inner Truth, etc. I liken it to 24 except that 24 isn't an escape as much as a natural cycle of events. 36 is more humanly induced.

Its said that 22 is the only hexagram that Confucius felt was unnecessary. No doubt other weighty souls feel the same way. And perhaps that's the very reason it is there. Its not about weight, but levity. Its not about content, but how content reveals itself. Here's a question: Would a Ti Chi Master still Ti Chi if there was no one there to see him/her? I'd say, yes. This is Grace expressing content, and not for vanity's sake.

Both of your 22 change lines were nicely in-balance. There's dignity and modesty. Intent is pure and form is elegant.

You can endure the opposition through a graceful retreat.

Namaste,
Candid

 

[candid]

Oops.. that's 39 ,not 38. Ok - obstruction and not opposition. hmm

A river runs downstream and meets a fallen tree. The water deepens itself and eventually flows around the obstruction. Soon, fish come to live in the pool formed by the obstruction. Everything serves to further if you persevere as a river.

 

[jillc]

Hi LiSe and Candid

Thank you so much for responding. I think you both have arrived at more or less the same conclusions as I have, which makes me feel a bit more confident in my ability to undesrstand the messages I am being given.

I've always been puzzled by the word "re-imagine," LiSe. It might mean either "wake up and see things as they really are" (ouch) or "imagine (create) a better situation." I'm not sure I want to be free in the sense of abandoning the relationship, but I definitely do want to change the situation. And it may be that the only way to do that is to heed the counsel of all three hexagrams!

Candid, you were right the first time -- it was 39, not 38, and I think graceful retreat, with dignity and modesty, is exactly the approach to take, as well as guarding my light by putting my best interests first for a change. That's always been difficult for me.

Thank you both, as always, for your insights.

Jill