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OK I was reading yet another scientific study as to how the Alpha male pretty much is the Alpha choice for all the women when it comes to dating.

It made me wonder if that was my problem.
I have often had an aversion to being the "alpha male"
I've ever been a Taoist, which seems to advocate modesty, and not leadership.
Furthermore I've also been receptive to the feminist movement. Which seems to say that, men need to be more sensitive, and not be so dominating - AKA Dominator male.

Well i've been sort of cultivating my non-competitive side.
And trying to take on the advice of the Taoist teachings (TaoTeChing)

And I don't need to point it out at how pitiful my dating record is. just look at this thread:
http://www.onlineClarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=6154

So I asked the Yijing two questions.


I've grown up often hearing from feminist women and others that dominator behavior is bad So i've tried to not be a dominant type (in order to be more attractive), I have also been worried about the Tao Te Chings teaching to "not compete". Any advice on this?

7 ---
7 ---
8 - -
8 - -
8 - -
7 ---


Increase

(Be the dominator?)


Has all my resistance to being the "alpha male" been the one reason why I can't have any success with women?

6 - - ---
8 - - - -
7 --- ---
7 --- ---
8 - - - -
7 --- ---


Hexagram 55 -> 30

I'm hoping not to offend anyone on their views if they are reading this.
But I was just curious to see what others had to say about this.

Increase seems to point to me to mean that I need to "go get em".
Be the Alpha male. #1 and all that dogshit.

So just to clarify I asked it again.
And got 55 -> 30

The second reading defiantly talks about being the "big Kahuna" but in a negative standpoint to the extent of it being excessive and super arrogant.

Possible interpretations:

1) Your attitude of non-competition is very isolating. Your seeing clearly now.
2) By being the Alpha male you will be isolating yourself. (doesn't hold up to reality)
3) Generic warning about excessively trying to be the master.

Ya'll have any ideas on how to understand these readings?

thanks in advance.
 
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dobro p

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OK I was reading yet another scientific study as to how the Alpha male pretty much is the Alpha choice for all the women when it comes to dating.

It made me wonder if that was my problem.
I have often had an aversion to being the "alpha male"
I've ever been a Taoist, which seems to advocate modesty, and not leadership.
Furthermore I've also been receptive to the feminist movement. Which seems to say that, men need to be more sensitive, and not be so dominating - AKA Dominator male.

Well i've been sort of cultivating my non-competitive side.
And trying to take on the advice of the Taoist teachings (TaoTeChing)

And I don't need to point it out at how pitiful my dating record is. just look at this thread:
http://www.onlineClarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=6154

So I asked the Yijing two questions.


I've grown up often hearing from feminist women and others that dominator behavior is bad So i've tried to not be a dominant type (in order to be more attractive), I have also been worried about the Tao Te Chings teaching to "not compete". Any advice on this?

7 ---
7 ---
8 - -
8 - -
8 - -
7 ---


Increase

(Be the dominator?)

No. Increase your predilection for being a more gentle male. That's the path that talks to you, so follow that path. The alpha male thing exists, but not every woman is designed to be a partner to an alpha male - there are lots of women who need to be with a man who's strong enough to know his own way and still make room for her way.
 

dobro p

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I don't like interpreting 'second questions on the same topic', because I think the Yi gives you what you need in the first answer to the first question. But in your case, I'll make an exception. The Yi seems to be saying that your resistance to the alpha male thing is a peak condition (wonderful!) which generates not only radiance in your life (30) but involves 'raising female cattle'. In other words, by resisting the alpha male thing, you are both cultivating a docile attitude in yourself and, if I'm reading this right, making certain women 'docile' toward you. Enjoy. :)
 
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Well thanks =)

Yay... don't have to become a butt. =)
 
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Frankly it's not because I bought into "feminist" ideas or anything.
But I heard the truth of the complaint. And noticed yea - it's lame when people are
totally bigoted and always trying to be ruthlessly on top of the world. (Hex 55.6)
I'm more for the cooperation thing, regardless of what gender is concerned.
Leaders should change just as people and circumstances change.
Realistically no one person can be the best in everything.
It's so much easier. I've heard animals do the alpha male thing.
But like you said: Not all women can be with the alpha male.
Doesn't the whole alpha male thing strike you as really flat & boring?
I mean... one guy all the time.
much more fun to be in groups (more interesting)!
(and i don't mean at the expense of monogamy but freedom in diversity)
 

dobro p

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Doesn't the whole alpha male think strike you as really boring?

If it's all unconscious and ego-driven, then it's really boring, yeah. But if it's conscious, then the alpha male thing is pretty exciting - focussed male power wedded to awareness. Wow! Maybe something like George Cluny or Robert Redford. I don't know how aware those two guys are, but they're both pretty alpha and they're both pretty intelligent and sensitive, even. They seem to have brought something else into their alpha maleness that tempers it.
 
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So in other words women will after-all prefer to adore the Alpha Male
 

dobro p

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Well, a lot of women adore the alpha male, and the ones that don't will often find the alpha male who tempers his alpha maleness with something else like gentleness or compassion or artistic sensitivity really attractive. And then there are other women who like something else altogether. But you should ask the women what they like to get a better idea. Plus, I'm not an alpha male. It's not the hand I've been dealt.
 

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Ok I'm just going to answer this as a woman, nothing to do with the reading, because what you said about 'studying' the alpha male thing, 'cultivating your non-competitive side' and 'trying to take on the advice of the Taoist teachings' just comes across like you're trying too hard to tick boxes.

I couldn't tell you if I'm attracted to alpha, beta or omega males to be quite honest. I do like someone who knows who they are and goes through life being who they are to the best of their ability. When someone is in their own power they shine and become attractive to people because of that. Maybe that comes across as 'alpha' because they are sure of themselves, and maybe that's where your conflict comes in. It sounds like you're actually just trying to be who you are, but there's a sense that the notion of that is tarnished by feminist rhetoric, so you are confused and you try and tick boxes to please.

I wouldn't try to 'cultivate' anything that feels false to you - if there are aspects of your personality that aren't modest or humble, just refine those qualities. In the Vedic tradition there's the analogy of trying to make one metal into another - you can't, all you can do is refine the metal until it's the purest metal it can be. If you bear that in mind, you can refine who you are to be the best you can be, without all this 'studying', 'trying' and 'cultivating'.

Applegirl ;)
 
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Nice,

That has been my conclusion applegirl...

Furhermore who can I possibly be, but the purest form of myself?
 

dobro p

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I couldn't tell you if I'm attracted to alpha, beta or omega males to be quite honest.

Well, I'm not Alpha. I don't like the sound of Beta, cuz that sounds like a maleness that's being tried out to find the bugs in it. Gamma sounds like a death ray, and Delta sounds like a dook from a university frat house. I think I must be an Epsilon male. Yes, I feel sure that's what I must be. I think. An Epsilon. Do you think that's okay, A-girl? lol
 

applegirl

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Well, I'm not Alpha. I don't like the sound of Beta, cuz that sounds like a maleness that's being tried out to find the bugs in it. Gamma sounds like a death ray, and Delta sounds like a dook from a university frat house. I think I must be an Epsilon male. Yes, I feel sure that's what I must be. I think. An Epsilon. Do you think that's okay, A-girl? lol
Hmm, do I go for Epsilon types?? :D .... now a BetaMan, yup, I think I'd prefer to wait until the bugs were fixed until 'upgrading' to one of those. Maybe the Gamma ones are the ones that frazzle your heart :rolleyes:! Don't like the sound of the Delta ones ... not from the US so all that university frat stuff never made sense anyway. Aah, ok, the Delta males are the ones that don't make sense, got it! So yeah, maybe I'm an Epsilon girl, that makes it so much more simple!

Seriously though, if it was only that simple, if reducing either men or women to types worked to help us gain a handle on all this relationship stuff ... I think that's why I posted, I was being reactionary :). IMHO there's enough pressure on both the sexes to try and fit in with the complications of postmodern society. I see people struggling to be themselves in a society where everything is analysed and deconstructed - and they're terrified. I prefer to seek wholeness in my interactions (very Ken Wilber - read his Theory of Everything, that guy makes sense!).

Now, I'm off to prepare for a work-related meeting with the ex :brickwall: ... I think he's a Gamma-Delta, but unfortunately he had a very acceptable quantity of Alpha-attractiveness going on too :duh: (maybe if I don't look directly at him the Gamma-ness won't hit me - a bit like the sun!).

Applegirl ;)
 

openheartsf

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>So in other words women will after-all prefer to adore the Alpha Male

I like what Dobro said about being a conscious alpha. Being the “alpha” male doesn’t mean you’ve got to be an insensitive jerk. It's more like owning the idea that you wear the pants, but not in a controlling way.

You should read some books by Pat Allen, she explains the Alpha thing and why it’s not only preferred by women but absolutely necessary for a successful relationship. Based on lots of studies and her own practice as a marriage and family therapist she really spells it out clearly.

It really depends on the type of girl you want. Like I had said in a previous post it works best if it’s opposite energy in relationships. When there are two equals in a relationship they compete too much. There’s got to be a leader and a follower at least initially. Later if you’ve established a long term relationship it can change a bit but basically this is why I believe most marriages today fail.

Masculine men don’t like to compete with women, which is why it fails if a woman has too much masculine energy and wants to run things. So if you want to be the passive one, then you should find a dominant woman and let her run the show. But she must know she’s dominant and WANT to be that way and you must know you want to be the more “feminine” energy.

In my marriage I was the dominant one because I’ve lived a hard life and had to grow up quick and take care of myself. I pursued my husband from the beginning and eventually we got married. We were like best friends and eventually we were just like roommates. He was very passive and had a lot of feminine energy. I liked this at first because he was a nice guy and safe. And so “mellow” that he seemed to balance my fiery nature. I didn’t realize that this would eventually turn me off.

I learned that I wanted to be feminine, receptive, the follower and actually did not feel safe with him because he couldn’t take care of things. Now I look for men who can get off their butts and ask me for my number because this is a clear indication that he’s alpha-ish. BUT, a lot of men these days are like you so this is proving to be annoyingly difficult. I’m probably the type who is attracted to an alpha guy with some artistic sensitivities. An evolved alpha like Dobro described.

I also had to change and own my "femaleness". It didn't happen overnight but I'm much more aware now of the power of being feminine.
 

Samgirl

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I've been quite intrigued lately about this topic... I never quite found a definitive answer as to what do I want from men and what is my main energy. I figured that it fluctuates, it changes depending our inner and outer situations. Sometimes I am more feminine and other times more masculine, and find that depending my energy the other's response changes as well. I feel the same on the males that I meet. Even if it is true that there are some basic treads, I am practicing not to "define" behaviors as I am learning that definition puts a limit to something that can be limitless, formless, and therefore, it cannot develop freely.

I like Applegirl's comment about cultivating your trueness. It's like all the roads go to Rome! I honestly believe that when being ourselves we just attract the right thing, and then, things go more or less as we needed to go in order to live our lives fully.
 

openheartsf

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I honestly believe that when being ourselves we just attract the right thing, and then, things go more or less as we needed to go in order to live our lives fully.

In an ideal world this would be the case but I really feel we are so confused because the courtship guidelines are so blurred. We aren’t taught them any more. I do agree to a point that we should be ourselves, but I have a few guidelines peppered in there for prosperity :)

Some things can be cultivated while others are part of our genetic make-up. For instance oxytocin. We cannot change the fact that women produce more oxytocin than men. It is a bonding hormone that is produced in breastmilk which serves several purposes. One is that it helps women bond with their babies. This does make some sense biologically. So we feel the urge to stay home and nurture and protect the child. It also explains why we bond to men more quickly since it’s also produced in much higher amounts in women than men during orgasm. We actually have an oxytocin withdrawal after the man leaves. Which explains why women get more bonded after sex than men. Men don’t have high levels of oxytocin. Makes sense so they can detach from the home and go out and hunt for us!

If you don't know about oxytocin you should. Just google it for some fun reading!

Some things just cannot be changed no matter how we’d like to will it to be so or meditate upon it because it's part of our DNA, our biology. I’ve learned to accept that women and men ARE different in a lot of ways and that the way we assert our equality in the office does not always translate so well in courtship. Logically we can tell ourselves we are totally equal but hormonally and biologically it's just not so. Most of the time we don't even understand why we act the way we do.

I often find that women are more resistant to this idea than men. It probably comes from the fact that we’ve come so far in gaining equality on the broader issues that we feel we are going backwards if we let a man lead and take care of us in romance. Somehow we feel it’s anti-feminist to wait for a man to pursue us, etc. Our bra-burning mothers worked so hard to liberate us, so we feel that old-fashioned dating customs are out-dated, etc. etc.

Personally since I’ve learned to accept that we are different my dates have gotten a lot better and I feel more secure and in control my emotions and LESS worried about controlling everything else. Not so much guess work. It feels nice and I've noticed my dates get all happy and proud and feel good when they plan and provide for the fun times we have. It's a win-win!
 
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Samgirl

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Openheartsf, I totally support your comment! We are different biologically and there is a lot of senses on that. However I do think that, apart of our natural differences, there are lots of "man(kind)-made" differences that are not necessarily based on nature. We can find this if we look at psychology - for example. Depending on the period, century, culture or branch, we can have different opinions on how men and women relate to each other. I personally lived in different areas from the world and sometimes I am stunned when learning what is expected from women -and men.

I think now we might be even more confused because we have the opportunity to relate with people from everywhere, so, at first, I think we can have several misunderstandings... At the same time, I feel that we (mankind) are looking for removing these differences so finally we can accept each other as we are (including celebrating womanhood and manhood).

About oxytocin... who can disagree about our physical differences! I thank the Lord for them! They give us pain sometimes, but they also give us pleasure!!!

I think the point is in knowing we are different in some things and accepting it. Knowing that I can get attached to the man because of my oxytocin is interesting, so I know it is my oxytocin driving me there. I've been in situations where I haven't feel that attachment but the guy I had felt it. I don't know what happened with the oxytocin there, but well...

I do believe that, in spite of our womanhood or manhood, there is something beyond that, what make us one. I don't necessarily mean that "make us equal" because then we would be equal to a rock, to a tree, to the water, the light, etc. Maybe we are though. I haven't studied quantum physics but -as per what I read- the whole universe is made of "empty space" --as far as we can understand. And at the same time, I believe that each one of us is unique. The concept "we are one and each of us is unique" sounds contradictory but not really.
 
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Well I think this non-duality of oneness is a fact. And I think that the duality of oneness and unity is also a fact. That there are individuals who make up that oneness. Simplistically speaking a country is a unity a species is a unity a condition of life is a unity. But each of those are made up of individuals. For the spiritual consciousness / soul thing I think it's the same. There is a individual who is a center of their own universe. But those universes are also interacting to produce a bigger universe. And then we have collective reality. I think the idea of being alone is totally not possible, except in the context of our own universe.

You may enjoy these lectures Samgirl. Long but good (8 hours total). It's about a Unified Field Theory this man has put together. Which explain this idea, and a whole bunch of other ideas as well. One of a kind, priceless stuff. Very enlightening, and uplifting.

http://video.google.com.au/videopla...amein+duration:long&ei=ceMqSK_VFouUrgPUw6i5CQ

http://video.google.com.au/videopla...amein+duration:long&ei=ceMqSK_VFouUrgPUw6i5CQ
 

Samgirl

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You may enjoy these lectures Samgirl. Long but good (8 hours total). It's about a Unified Field Theory this man has put together. Which explain this idea, and a whole bunch of other ideas as well. One of a kind, priceless stuff. Very enlightening, and uplifting.

http://video.google.com.au/videopla...amein+duration:long&ei=ceMqSK_VFouUrgPUw6i5CQ

http://video.google.com.au/videopla...amein+duration:long&ei=ceMqSK_VFouUrgPUw6i5CQ

Wow! Good stuff. It's indeed a bit long so I didn't completed them yet, but thank you anyway! I'm enjoying them! :)
 

proph

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Interesting thread on Alpha Male concept. Being one myself, I have to say I agree and disagree with some things said here, but that's ok. The main thing I see is that CM is a Beta male, and became aware of it, and being a Beta obviously means not knowing what Alpha even is so now he's trying to find out what he should do to be an Alpha.

The best way I can explain being Alpha is this: Balance

An Alpha male is balanced. His mental, health, wealth, family, etc. life is balanced or actively headed to optimal balance. An Alpha never accepts less, and always works to be better without appearing to be lower ever, which is why some Alphas with lower intelligence end up being jerks cause they know they need to be a leading force but lack the ability to do so in a way that's useful for everyone concerned. An Alpha takes care of and protects those around him, friends, family, himself, and anyone that might even just be periphally in his environment and has been there a long time, cause he realizes there's something like an ecosystem and it's HIS "job" to maintain the equilibrium. Being Alpha isn't necessarily as much about control as it is about taking responsibility that no one else can handle which most times includes some control over x, where x is actions or emotions or direction or etc. that others in the "herd" aren't willing or able to.

Hope that helps a little.

I'm new to this forum, joined yesterday, been divining with IC for quite a few years now.

Had to reply to this when I saw it in my email today.
 
D

diamanda

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I said something similar on CM's other thread, but you put it in words in a slightly
different manner, which i find really nice and refreshing. Really enjoyed reading
this post!
 
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Thanks a whole lot Proph, in letting me know what a Alpha male is.
I don't consider myself "beta" male. But really just consider myself human.
I do work daily to make things, better - and don't accept being lower or inferior.
Your response is probably the most clear and concise answer i've ever seen on this topic.
Seeing it as blameless an altogether virtuous. I cannot say i've not been moving towards
this my whole life. One thing I cultivate is honesty. And I will not stand there and pretend i'm
perfect when I know it's not true. I think this does not serve the people or myself for any good.
That said I have had a rocky path. Not setting out to be the best, but really just going for my best.

Frankly there is allot of incompetence in leaders these days. Most of them from (what I hear) are only
interested in maintaining their position. And are therefore otherwise incompetent when it comes to real
leadership roles. Therefore most of the energy in being "alpha" is simply spent competing with other people
instead of true leadership. This is why I think Alpha has such a tainted image nowadays.

I've never spent a new york minute competing.
I do however have my own frustrations.
Frustrations from being ineffective.
Perhaps I need to develop a more
leadership role. I will strive
to work on this. I realize
I do have resistances
to this idea.

I'll have to think allot about this.

I thank you for your words.
 
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meng

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Great thread, which I'd completely overlooked until Hilary's newsletter pointed to it. I'm very appreciative of Openheartsf's approach to the subject, as I think it's realistic and evenly balanced. But all the comments in the thread are interesting.

Human's are so freaking complicated. The dog world is so much more down to earth and effective. An alpha dog isn't determined by their gender, and a pack leader is quite often a bitch. What determines an effective pack leader (alpha) is their energy, which is calm and assertive. This is a very hex 26 kind of leadership. To observe the natural pack, you would only rarely see displays of the alpha's aggression, and then only to keep the pack moving and operating as an effective unit (hex 7).

But when people are added to the pack, the dao of dogs becomes greatly more complicated, with all the nutty human egos to deal with. Then dogs can become neurotic in all sorts of aggressive and fearful ways, just like the humans they hang with.

I see that we are creatures of cause and effect, and so we may be naturally dominant with one individual while feeling more submissive with another individual. That is the way with dogs also. That is natural.

I think it’s dangerous to lock into defining ones self and others as being alpha or beta, and also misleading to say that an alpha personality is the same as a dominating personally, though there may be times when they appear similar.
 

proph

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Labels and Measurements

I agree on the choice of not labeling and measuring yourself as it leads to limiting your spectrum and sometimes narrowing your life experience range. But, I do also realize that we all have chances pretty much daily, to make choices(free will) that can lead in any direction(literally) and that can open a door(per se) to experience or realize a wider spectrum of possible realities.

But, if you're exploring your place in this world/reality, then it's good to have measurements and labels at least temporarily so that you have some stable foundation to start from in your journey of life. I'd rather be an "Alpha" than a "Beta" male, and I have been both, though generally all my life I have been a born leader type. The fun thing as humans is that we can choose to be and do anything we want, so we have a wide range of possibility when choosing our lifestyles, and once you've grown out of or become bored with one you can move up or over or down to another. Obviously it makes a little more sense to keep upping as it's more challenging and you grow more, as opposed to staying at some low point and stagnating while giving control to others, I'd even go so far as to say it's better to be pure evil than stagnating anywhere. Pick a direction.

And, yes, there are "Alpha" females as well. Though, females by nature have different energy, so their "version" of leading is not the same as a male leading. So, that's a whole other topic in and of itself.

What it really boils down to in my perception of the world, is that in general humans are either responsible for themselves or not. If you are(male or female, young or old, any color, etc.) responsible for yourself then you are actually living life and at least doing something maybe towards your purpose for even being incarnated into this reality at this time. If you're not responsible for yourself, you're stagnating mostly with someone else's plan that is a leader who you've given your life to, and you are basically "filler" in this reality. Now, don't get me wrong, filler is necessary. But, I'd rather be the chocolate on the cake or the icing, than being the flour. :rofl:

:bows:
 

openheartsf

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Thanks to all for this thread I'm very much enjoying the momentum here and I do think this subject is of importance in discovering so much about who we are in relationships. I had a recent experience with a girlfriend over the weekend. She's not an alpha female but she seemed to think I was. I was in a position of feeling like men might feel around women. Like she expected me to take care of her. It was strange because I've let go a lot of my alpha-ness and so I found there was some power struggle. She's not weak and she can take care of herself but in the presence of someone else - another strong woman - she would defer things to me AND let me do all the heavy lifting. I'm finding that I don't want to take the lead and I was resentful. So I'm unclear on how to navigate this dynamic in a female to female relationship. I also found that it was hard for me to assert my needs or ask her to help out. A bit surprising but something to ponder.

p.s. Thank you Meng for your acknowledgement!!
 

openheartsf

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Samgirl,

However I do think that, apart of our natural differences, there are lots of "man(kind)-made" differences that are not necessarily based on nature.

Oh yes! Definitely true that we have created many courtship rituals out of other things that aren't biological (maybe even marriage!). Back in the good 'ol days a man had to show a degree of chivalry if he wanted sex (otherwise ther'd be a shotgun pointed at his hed by paw!). Of course sex is pretty biological so there ya go!

One of my art history teachers told me that all art is usually about sex or religion!

The compatibility may come from the balance of masculine/feminine energy that is very natural so we don't have to think about it usually, we are just drawn to our compliment. I do believe when we become fully aware, evolved and confident that is when we'll meet our compliment. And we don't necessarily have to be at extreme opposites for it to work but I believe being aware of the balance is very important. Where do we want to be on the alpha/beta continuum? In my first marriage I had no clue nor did I think about it. Now I have some idea of where I'm comfortable on that line and where I'd like my mate to be.

I'm curious also about my lack of oxytocin bonding with some men. It's one of those things that has opened up pandora's box for me because the more I read about it the more it leads to other interesting psychological stuff that I don't have time for! Like child-attachment theory and how it's connected to the amount of oxytocin we produce, etc. I'm sure there is some good explanation, but I'm not that savvy on all of it!

Thanks for your wise input Samgirl!
 
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meng

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I had a recent experience with a girlfriend over the weekend. She's not an alpha female but she seemed to think I was. I was in a position of feeling like men might feel around women. Like she expected me to take care of her. It was strange because I've let go a lot of my alpha-ness and so I found there was some power struggle. She's not weak and she can take care of herself but in the presence of someone else - another strong woman - she would defer things to me AND let me do all the heavy lifting. I'm finding that I don't want to take the lead and I was resentful. So I'm unclear on how to navigate this dynamic in a female to female relationship. I also found that it was hard for me to assert my needs or ask her to help out. A bit surprising but something to ponder.

Couldn't help but chuckle at this little quandary. How does it feel? lol... oh wait, you already said - resentful. Yeah, it's sometimes like that as a guy too, but it may be more of an honor to a guy than something to resent. There is the Rooster factor, and a good rooster takes care of business.

Talking in generalities is always dangerous, cuz there's always those who don't see it that way. But I have such a generality that I believe. There's always exceptions, of course.

A man can't love if he's not understood.
A woman can't understand if she's not loved.

So you have the boss telling his admin. assistant that his wife doesn't understand him.

And you have the wife doing the Luis.
 

openheartsf

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Yeah, it's sometimes like that as a guy too, but it may be more of an honor to a guy than something to resent. There is the Rooster factor, and a good rooster takes care of business.

That's what I was hoping! I think you're right for the most part if he's alpha and he really loves you. I'm not very needy and I don't pretend to be helpless, but I felt that's what she was doing...such a princess which would be fine if I was her boyfriend, but ahem...I'm not! It did give me an interesting perspective though. I'll probably consult the yi on what to do about it because I do like her as a friend. This isn't the first time I've had this reaction with her and I don't want to loose a friend because of a weird power struggle on who should do more work in the relationship. The interesting thing is that she told me she was in a lesbian relationship once. I'm pretty sure I know who the butch was :D

A man can't love if he's not understood.
A woman can't understand if she's not loved.

This is also the generality I've come to. I have a different way of putting it, but it's similar

Women need to be cherished by the man
Men need to be respected by the woman

So, if you are a woman and are choosing to cherish you man's feelings ahead of your own, then you are being the "male" energy. That's what I was doing this weekend with my friend. And she was being the "female" energy by allowing me to provide for her.
 
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M

meng

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Openheart,

I'm a believer that love is where you find it, or where it finds you, and there so many forms love can take, even in the casual form of fellowship in the meadow.

There's a ranch up the road, where I pass each morning while walking. It is owned and operated by a lesbian, a chiropractor by practice. Ive never encountered any sort unfriendliness from any of them, and we'll often stop to chat. I suppose the fact that I pick up up bottles and cans along the roadside once a month has incidentally endeared me to them a bit. Their property always has a disproportionate amount of trash discarded onto it---They don't hide their lifestyle, and this is still redneck country.

Not going anywhere with this, just walkin'.
 

openheartsf

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Nice story Meng. I have nothing at all against lesbians. I DO live in San Francisco after all. :)

I'm attracted to men though. So being my friends "boyfriend" isn't really going to work for me. I asked the yi what I should do about it and it gave me Hex 47 exhaustion. Huh.
 
M

meng

Guest
Oh, sorry, Openheart. Didn't meant to imply you were a closet lesbian, chuckles. NOT that there's anything wrong with that! (in best Gerry Seinfeld)
 

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