More of Yi’s kindness (from the blog)

[hilary]

More of Yi’s kindness



I’ve written before about Yi’s kindness, but it’s something I keep rediscovering.

There’s the gentleness of its responses to people in crisis – all degrees of crisis, without judgement. One of my own favourite readings comes from a moment when I suddenly felt I’d experienced the final straw, had nothing left and couldn’t cope. I sat on the floor and said, ‘Help!’

Yi responded with Hexagram 48, the Well:

‘The Well. Moving the city, not moving the well.
Without loss, without gain,
They come and go, the well wells.
Almost drawn the water, but the rope does not quite reach the water,
Or breaking one’s clay jug,
Pitfall.’

The Well is still flowing, in all your comings and goings it hasn’t gone anywhere, so…

There’s another reading that comes down to ‘How can I cope?’ or just ‘Help!’ on the ‘Aha!’ answers thread at the I Ching Community: itsyourlife asked, ‘How do I do today?’ and cast Hexagram 57 unchanging – Gently Penetrating. She wrote,

“That made me literally break down and I cried for like 10 seconds, composed myself and went on about my business gently. I finished earlier than expected and with ease. Breezy!”

How to do it? Gently. And that’s another of Yi’s one-hexagram answers – I find Yi often uses unchanging hexagrams when I’m overwhelmed and incapable of taking in anything more complicated. (One more example from the ‘Aha!’ thread: help with a mental health crisis, Hexagram 14 unchanging.)

Only Yi, being Yi, does not always stop at comfort. There’s reassurance, the indescribable sense of being seen – and then there’s also the kindness of unstinting honesty, and readings that turn out to be as much question as answer.

Actually, my much-loved Hexagram 48 answer is one of those. The Well is still flowing, in all your comings and goings it hasn’t gone anywhere, so… why do you feel as though you have nothing left? What’s going on with your rope and bucket?

Kafuka had a similar Hexagram 48 experience, though with the presence of mind to form a question beyond ‘Help!’: “I asked what could I do to stop having those “I’d better be dead” thoughts and got 48.4>28“. Line your well!

I experienced this fierce kindness again a little while ago, when I had – laughably – been trying to be tactful, and ended up saying something appallingly insulting and hurtful. That’s the short version: I’ve told the whole, sorry story in WikiWing.

In a complete emotional tailspin immediately afterwards, I asked Yi how to cope with my own crashing rudeness, and cast Hexagram 44 with the 6th line changing:

‘Coupling with your horns.
Shame.
Not a mistake.’

There’s the kindness of being seen – I had, exactly, gone in with horns lowered, which of course meant I couldn’t see where I was going, and caused unintended injury. ‘Shame’ – well, yes. And then there was comfort: ‘No mistake’ – no, all the catastrophic consequences I was imagining were not real. The person I’d injured had already, with vast kindness, told me I was forgiven.

So in the moment, this reading let me breathe again and start to return to something like stability. But looking back on it now, and remembering other times I’ve received Hexagram 44, I’ve started asking bigger questions, like ‘Who/ what is that powerful, unmarriageable woman?’

I think I recognise her in the inner impulse that tells me I really have to step up and do/ say something – 44 is the pair of 43, after all – but at a moment when there is no good way to do/say it, as there is nowhere it can be received, no king’s chamber to speak in: this woman is not to be married. (With a different line active – 44.5, perhaps – there might be a way.)

And the deeper kindness of this, the one that emerges as I reflect on a series of readings over the course of years, is that now I recognise what that obligation-impulse feels like, and I get the chance to learn something, maybe. Perhaps, if I remember these readings at the critical moment, I might even avoid some horns-first blunders in future.

(There are countless examples of kind, blunt, honest, eye-opening readings in the ‘Aha!’ answers thread – I can recommend it.)

 

[Cometta]

I was going through a difficult time and trying to be strong without thinking about myself, but the truth is I was scared to death. Yi kept telling me repeatedly 43.2, fear nothing!

Not only was he kinder to me than I was to myself, but he understood what I was going through and what my true feelings were and he had more love for me than I thought I deserved.

 

[Trojina]

think I recognise her in the inner impulse that tells me I really have to step up and do/ say something – 44 is the pair of 43, after all – but at a moment when there is no good way to do/say it, as there is nowhere it can be received, no king’s chamber to speak in: this woman is not to be married. (With a different line active – 44.5, perhaps – there might be a way.)

And the deeper kindness of this, the one that emerges as I reflect on a series of readings over the course of years, is that now I recognise what that obligation-impulse feels like, and I get the chance to learn something, maybe. Perhaps, if I remember these readings at the critical moment, I might even avoid some horns-first blunders in future

With the 44.6 example as in wiki I wouldn't be sure it wasn't the right thing to tell her. This is because just because it was embarrassing and seemed awful doesn't mean it wasn't something she needed to hear or that it wasn't something that needed to be said. Surely that is why it says "no mistake". Once the words are out one cannot tell their impact and sometimes what looks dire right now might have a long term positive effect that one never even sees. So you can have shame at meeting the impact, the embarrassment and mortification but that doesn't necessarily make it a mistake in it's far reaching purpose. That woman's feelings were not necessarily the most important thing in the situation.

 

[hilary]

In that situation it was clear I didn’t have the information I needed to make a judgement at all, and I should have been asking questions instead of leaping to conclusions. But in my other 44.6 example in WikiWing something did need saying. it was just that there may or may not have been a better way to say it that would have worked better. Maybe in both examples - no mistake to tackle the issue, engaging is good, but there could be a better way to do so.

 

[rosada]

For those times when I don’t have an I Ching handy I find remembering 3.2 to be the most dependably comforting one-size-fits-all advice: Slow down. No need to commit too quickly. Take another ten years if you like!

 

[Cometta]

I am about to start a new page in my life after so much pain and sadness. I ask Yi: would you encourage me in my venture? will you be with me?
It's as if I wanted to make sure I have the blessing of a higher power and the support of a good friend if needed.
55.5<>49. It was time!
I have never felt so loved and valued. Like running into a loved one in an unfamiliar place.