More than a long-distance relationship 49.3.4

[JoeCampbell]

Dear Fellow Travellers,
It has occurred to me that my presence in this forum is also a kind of journal of my own progress through life. Perhaps it is the same for us all. Here is a sticky situation that I could really use some help with.
I am in a loving, committed relationship with a woman who lives in another (former Soviet) country, she has a 9 year old daughter in joint custody with her ex-husband. At the moment we see each other daily via Skype and face to face once a month.
Here's the problem, the ex-husband is an alcoholic, drug-abuser and a very successful businessman. He has sworn that my girlfriend will never have another partner and has previously threatened violence when he was at his most chemically-challenged. She is still in some way "entangled" with his business affairs and all of our contact is in secret, although recently we have been able to go out in her hometown, but carefully.
What I want is to get her out of there, to come and live with me (daughter too although I am aware that this is a very tricky area, the daughter does not know that I exist) - but how??
So I ask Yi "How to make this into more than a long-distance relationship?" and the reply comes back 49.3.4 > 3
My interpretation has focused on Hilary's line 3: "send words of change into circulation" "create an object of desire" and line 4 "the new will be better than the old" - in other words, gently make the prospect of life here so attractive that she finds the strength to break free, that I do not force the issue. Or is this wishful thinking and am I misunderstanding the reading entirely?
Your guidance would be very much appreciated.
Thank you

 

[mirian]

I ask Yi "How to make this into more than a long-distance relationship?" and the reply comes back 49.3.4 > 3
My interpretation has focused on Hilary's line 3: "send words of change into circulation" "create an object of desire" and line 4 "the new will be better than the old" - in other words, gently make the prospect of life here so attractive that she finds the strength to break free, that I do not force the issue.

Dear JoeCampbell,

What you will be doing is a Revolution, but that goes without saying, doesn't it So, in my view the most important points in your reading are:

49.3 - When you are aiming at a radical change you need to go round and round before actually getting it done. What does that mean in practical terms? You need to talk to your girlfriend over and over. Rather than having a long discussion about it, you have a talk with her one day, then drop the subject, then bring it back again another day, and again another day Let the idea sink in, that is "let the talk of change go round".
The same applies to your own ideas about what and how you want to do it. You need to think over and over, consider it again from a different angle, let it consolidate first, as when Wilhelm says "when the talk of revolution has gone round three times one may commit himself".

Your relating hexagram is 3, so things are still unformed, you have impressions coming from all directions, pieces of information, lots of difficulties to overcome, all seems a bit chaotic, and you have to put all together, to create some sort of order untill you get to see the big picture, which you have not been able to see yet.

That is my experience with your readings and I hope it helps. As this is such an important issue I am sure that you will have some follow-up questions throughout.

:bows:

 

[kkappa]

Line 4 also says this: "What he does must correspond with a higher
truth and must not spring from arbitrary or petty motives; then it brings great
good fortune. If a revolution is not founded on such inner truth, the results
are bad, and it has no success."

This can turn into a seriously volatile situation, that is what I feel about this all. Also, it doesn't sound like you have expressed a proper plan to your girlfriend, so a lot needs to change first. You need to have a plan a, b and c, and then you need to express it in a way that it sounds feasable (and actually is too). "Then you will be believed". But most importantly, ask yourself why you're really doing this - is it for you? is it for them? and do you genuinely believe that this change is the rigth thing for all involved?

I grew up in a former soviet country and the kind of man you are describing... I would stay well away, so you need to be prepared for the absolute worst.

 

[JoeCampbell]

Thank you Miriam, there is a great deal of truth in what you say and I just know that this is going to be a long ride - I just pray that the dangerous aspects - as mentioned by Kkappa below, do not turn out as bad as she fears.
I will keep you posted, although it may be a while before I can come with any real update (by definition).
All the best

 

[JoeCampbell]

Thank you kkappa - also for the chills that you sent down my spine....I have written to you privately on this site.

 

[long yi]

49.3 to 3

Your six line analysis;
起卦时间：2013年02月05日23时19分
Querent: Male
神煞：天乙—卯巳　福星—辰　日禄—子　羊刃—亥　驿马—巳　桃花—子　华盖—未
干支：癸巳年　甲寅月　癸卯日　壬子时
旬空：午未　　子丑　　辰巳　　寅卯

六神　 伏神 　　　坎宫：泽火革49　　　　　　　　　　坎宫：水雷屯3
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
白虎　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼丁未土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟戊子水　　桃花日禄
滕蛇　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　父母丁酉金　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼戊戌土　应
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟丁亥水　世○→　▅▅　▅▅　父母戊申金　　
朱雀　妻财戊午火　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟己亥水　　○→　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼庚辰土　　福星
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼己丑土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　子孙庚寅木　世
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙己卯木　应　　　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟庚子水　　桃花日禄
Year; si fire (wu fire; wei earth)
Month; yin wood (zi water, chou earth)
Day; mao wood (chen earth, zi fire)
Hour; zi water (yin wood, mao wood)

6. White Tiger (白虎, Bai-hu), and
5. Flying Serpent (螣蛇, Teng-she),
4. Curved Array (勾陳, Gou-chen),
3. Vermilion Bird (朱雀, Zhu-que),
2. Azure Dragon (青龍, Qing-long),
1. Murky Warrior (玄武, Xuan-wu).

Hexagram 49
6. officer; wei earth
5. parents; you metal
4. sibling; hai water*; host line
3. sibling; hai water* - hidden line ; asset wu fire
2. Officer; chou earth
1. child; mao wood; guest line

Hexagram 3
6. sibling ; zi water
5. officer; xu earth
4. parent; chen metal
3. officer; chen earth
2. child, yin wood
1. brother, zi water

Line 6 is you, officer wei earth who is in conflict with her husband chou earth in line 2.
Line 2 is Azure Dragon. He is the one with the status.
Line 6 means you are far away. Line 6 is the wei earth, empty element under the year of the snake. For 2013, there is no chance that you have any status in this situation.

Line 6 is White Tiger and line 3 is Vermilion Bird. Line 3 is sibling line = husband. Underneath line 3 is the female wu metal. You are at odds with her husband.
Line 3 hai water suppresses the hidden line wu fire. The husband suppresses her.
The female line does not appear in hexagram 3. This means she is staying put.
Line 3 hidden line female wu fire couples with line 6 officer wei earth. She couples with you (events not in the open).

Line 1 is the child (daughter). She is in confrontation with line 5 relationship/parents you metal. This means she is not happy with the family issue.

Line 1 mao wood (daughter) is connected to father (husband) wai earth in line 3 and then connected to you wei earth in line 6. Who are you on the outside? Nobody.

In hexagram 3, sibling (him) is now in line 1 and gain one step. He is zi water which is the empty element under your house of marriage. In your mind, he does not count.

Line 2 of hexagram 3 is the child line with one step backwards. She is still in the family with him (father).

Line 3 is the change line. The husband is changing to give the officer chen earth. This means that he is not doing anything to release anyone and keep the status quo. (chen earth – not moving, suppressing the hai water and the hai water suppresses her).

He is the lucky man because the luck star is associated with line 3 in hexagram 3.

Line 4 is also the husband who transforms into the relationship line shen metal. This relations shen metal produces the sibling water in line 4 of hexagram 4 as status quo. Nothing changes.

You are in line 5 of hexagram 3 xu earth that couples with the female in hidden line 3 wu fire and the daughter in line 2 yin wood to produce fire. This sounds alright, but this association is not tightly bound. You have no power to bring everyone together.

Line 1 and 6 circles the entire picture. This is the husband star zi water in line 1 and 6. He is not there for her, but he can create all sorts of problem for you in line 5, daughter in line 2 and her in hidden line 3 of hexagram 49.

Line 3 (him) and line 5 (you) are in mild conflict. The female does not align and engage in any type of action. Therefore you must endure the present difficulty and wait for a better time.

Since hexagram 3 line 4 is shen metal that confronts the yin wood in the house of spouse, this means no hope to be permanently together this month of February.

The following is an estimate of one can plan:
This is si fire year. Line 3 and 4 is the change line with husband star. Si fire sets hai water in line 3 and 4 in motion. Line 3 releases a marriage document. Can you catch?

If you are serious, you may have a chance from Aug 4 – Sept 3 to get him to release her from any legal bind so that she is available. The child has no power and the woman does not move. She is not moving and you have no chance to be together. The only time that she may come out to the open is month of wu fire June 4-Jul 3 2013 and possibility in Dec 4 2013 to Jan 3 2014.

Your chances are not good. She has to convince him to set her free.
Line 2 child yin wood is coupled to line 3 and 4 hai water with the father.
She is not coming along. They will not release each other.

The daughter mao wood is under the house of your soul in an isolated spot. The mao wood appears in your house of marriage. You do not care whether she comes along, but would prefer to resolve the daughter issue. There is conflict in your heart over this issue.

For hexagram 3 reading, woman usually stays with the original man and child as one unit. You end up with someone else when the chances arise.

Hexagram 3 is equivalent to Two of cups in Tarot. There is love, but on the flip side, both parties may be compromising their core needs, in that case this state of loving each other is limited.

 

[dancing white ferret]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, Joe... My experience with 49 line 3 has been similar to what mirian has described. And that's typical I think with a 180. Things don't change overnight necessarily with 49, as I believe Trojan has also pointed out on numerous threads on 49. Line 4 has come up for me where a potential for a complete 180 has been there. With hexagram 3 there as the transformed hex, I would read this as it's really too early to count on anything. Your plan is still a diamond in the rough, and that idea ties in nicely with what line 3 talks about. Line 3 seems to point out that, after repeatedly considering this change, it may actually happen. Line 4 points to this change being a potentially beneficial move for all involved. But I think it's good to be realistic about possibilities. With 3 as the transformed hex, I wouldn't count on anything. Nor would I give up. 3 means the timing is not good for that now. There is some chaos still overhead, so to speak, your relationship is still green etc. In other words, there is a lot of other stuff here that needs to be worked out before this move can be done successfully, and a need to wait for the danger to wane. At least, if this were my reading, that is how I would read it. Hope that helps

 

[JoeCampbell]

Dear Long Yi
Thank you - really thank you - for all the trouble you went to in responding. My heart sank several feet when I read your text as so much of it rings true and there seems so little cause for hope. However, I am not in any particular hurry to change things, I have known all along that it will take time, I was just more interested in what, if anything, I could actually do to make a difference. Your interpretation of the ex-husband is horribly accurate and I have naturally been aware that one of the major challenges will be my relationship (if any) to the daughter.
Let us see what the year reveals.
Thank you
Joe

 

[JoeCampbell]

Thank you Dancing White Ferret - I read the responses on this page in sequence so you can imagine it has been an emotional rollercoaster for me! Yours comes last and actually gave me some hope again. I know the time is not right, and may not be for some time to come, what I have really wanted to know is if there is any realistic chance for us as a couple.
Perhaps I should ask Yi that?......

 

[JoeCampbell]

Long-distance...potential? 47.2.5.

Well, I took my own, and Mirian's advice and asked "What are the chances for us to succeed as a couple?" and the response: 47.2.5 > 16......is there hope?

 

[kkappa]

Well, I took my own, and Mirian's advice and asked "What are the chances for us to succeed as a couple?" and the response: 47.2.5 > 16......is there hope?

There is hope, Joe! Just quoting the best bits to lighten the mood here for a change!

47.2 "Here a disagreeable situation must be overcome by patience of spirit."
47.5 "But little by little, things take a turn for the better. Until that time, he should turn to God, firm in his inner composure, and pray and offer sacrifice for the general well-being."

 

[dancing white ferret]

I think the first answer you received suggests there is a chance for you as a couple. If there is a chance for a revolution, there is a chance for you as a couple. Right? That's how I would read that. 47 also shows you are worrying too much I think... I hope things continue in the right direction

 

[mirian]

Dear JoeCampbell,

It all sounds a patience game, but sticking to the question asked I would take the answer as a yes, there is hope.
Considering 47 and its changing lines, I think that works both ways. Externally, you would find yourself restricted and people that could help you would fail to do so. Internally, there would be tiredness and frustration, so patience is required.
I would keep an eye on unrealistic expectations, given your relating hexagram 16.

I think it ties up with your previous readings (49/3) and nothing is conclusive at the moment, but on the bright side 47 is working (slowly) its way out of oppression.

Please take care :bows:

 

[Vanshika]

49.3 to 3

Your six line analysis;
起卦时间：2013年02月05日23时19分
Querent: Male
神煞：天乙—卯巳　福星—辰　日禄—子　羊刃—亥　驿马—巳　桃花—子　华盖—未
干支：癸巳年　甲寅月　癸卯日　壬子时
旬空：午未　　子丑　　辰巳　　寅卯

六神　 伏神 　　　坎宫：泽火革49　　　　　　　　　　坎宫：水雷屯3
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
白虎　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼丁未土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟戊子水　　桃花日禄
滕蛇　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　父母丁酉金　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼戊戌土　应
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟丁亥水　世○→　▅▅　▅▅　父母戊申金　　
朱雀　妻财戊午火　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟己亥水　　○→　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼庚辰土　　福星
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼己丑土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　子孙庚寅木　世
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙己卯木　应　　　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟庚子水　　桃花日禄
Year; si fire (wu fire; wei earth)
Month; yin wood (zi water, chou earth)
Day; mao wood (chen earth, zi fire)
Hour; zi water (yin wood, mao wood)

6. White Tiger (白虎, Bai-hu), and
5. Flying Serpent (螣蛇, Teng-she),
4. Curved Array (勾陳, Gou-chen),
3. Vermilion Bird (朱雀, Zhu-que),
2. Azure Dragon (青龍, Qing-long),
1. Murky Warrior (玄武, Xuan-wu).

Hexagram 49
6. officer; wei earth
5. parents; you metal
4. sibling; hai water*; host line
3. sibling; hai water* - hidden line ; asset wu fire
2. Officer; chou earth
1. child; mao wood; guest line

Hexagram 3
6. sibling ; zi water
5. officer; xu earth
4. parent; chen metal
3. officer; chen earth
2. child, yin wood
1. brother, zi water

Line 6 is you, officer wei earth who is in conflict with her husband chou earth in line 2.
Line 2 is Azure Dragon. He is the one with the status.
Line 6 means you are far away. Line 6 is the wei earth, empty element under the year of the snake. For 2013, there is no chance that you have any status in this situation.

Line 6 is White Tiger and line 3 is Vermilion Bird. Line 3 is sibling line = husband. Underneath line 3 is the female wu metal. You are at odds with her husband.
Line 3 hai water suppresses the hidden line wu fire. The husband suppresses her.
The female line does not appear in hexagram 3. This means she is staying put.
Line 3 hidden line female wu fire couples with line 6 officer wei earth. She couples with you (events not in the open).

Line 1 is the child (daughter). She is in confrontation with line 5 relationship/parents you metal. This means she is not happy with the family issue.

Line 1 mao wood (daughter) is connected to father (husband) wai earth in line 3 and then connected to you wei earth in line 6. Who are you on the outside? Nobody.

In hexagram 3, sibling (him) is now in line 1 and gain one step. He is zi water which is the empty element under your house of marriage. In your mind, he does not count.

Line 2 of hexagram 3 is the child line with one step backwards. She is still in the family with him (father).

Line 3 is the change line. The husband is changing to give the officer chen earth. This means that he is not doing anything to release anyone and keep the status quo. (chen earth – not moving, suppressing the hai water and the hai water suppresses her).

He is the lucky man because the luck star is associated with line 3 in hexagram 3.

Line 4 is also the husband who transforms into the relationship line shen metal. This relations shen metal produces the sibling water in line 4 of hexagram 4 as status quo. Nothing changes.

You are in line 5 of hexagram 3 xu earth that couples with the female in hidden line 3 wu fire and the daughter in line 2 yin wood to produce fire. This sounds alright, but this association is not tightly bound. You have no power to bring everyone together.

Line 1 and 6 circles the entire picture. This is the husband star zi water in line 1 and 6. He is not there for her, but he can create all sorts of problem for you in line 5, daughter in line 2 and her in hidden line 3 of hexagram 49.

Line 3 (him) and line 5 (you) are in mild conflict. The female does not align and engage in any type of action. Therefore you must endure the present difficulty and wait for a better time.

Since hexagram 3 line 4 is shen metal that confronts the yin wood in the house of spouse, this means no hope to be permanently together this month of February.

The following is an estimate of one can plan:
This is si fire year. Line 3 and 4 is the change line with husband star. Si fire sets hai water in line 3 and 4 in motion. Line 3 releases a marriage document. Can you catch?

If you are serious, you may have a chance from Aug 4 – Sept 3 to get him to release her from any legal bind so that she is available. The child has no power and the woman does not move. She is not moving and you have no chance to be together. The only time that she may come out to the open is month of wu fire June 4-Jul 3 2013 and possibility in Dec 4 2013 to Jan 3 2014.

Your chances are not good. She has to convince him to set her free.
Line 2 child yin wood is coupled to line 3 and 4 hai water with the father.
She is not coming along. They will not release each other.

The daughter mao wood is under the house of your soul in an isolated spot. The mao wood appears in your house of marriage. You do not care whether she comes along, but would prefer to resolve the daughter issue. There is conflict in your heart over this issue.

For hexagram 3 reading, woman usually stays with the original man and child as one unit. You end up with someone else when the chances arise.

Hexagram 3 is equivalent to Two of cups in Tarot. There is love, but on the flip side, both parties may be compromising their core needs, in that case this state of loving each other is limited.

Hello Long Yi,
I would really appreciate if you could tell me if the same reading would apply for my question 'what is the final conclusion?' 49.3.4>3 ... reading done at 11.05am (GMT+4) on this 21.06.22. The situation here is one where I get a wedding proposal by a friend for his friend. And been almost 2 months now that I have not heard from them again.
Awaiting your kind reply.
Thank you.
Vanshika

 

[moss elk]

Hello Long Yi,
I would really appreciate if you could tell me if the same reading would apply for my question 'what is the final conclusion?' 49.3.4>3

Just a heads up:
Long Yi does not study the Zhou Yi or
I Ching as most of us here do.

He uses a computer program and copies and pastes everything from there.

Please Do yourself a favor and Look up every thread where he has used this system. And please count how many people who did a follow up post to explain if the info the computer programs provided was accurate.

I haven't seen any such evidence yet...
And that is very important information.

 

[Trojina]

Hello Long Yi,
I would really appreciate if you could tell me if the same reading would apply for my question 'what is the final conclusion?' 49.3.4>3 ... reading done at 11.05am (GMT+4) on this 21.06.22. The situation here is one where I get a wedding proposal by a friend for his friend. And been almost 2 months now that I have not heard from them again.
Awaiting your kind reply.
Thank you.
Vanshika

Also this is a 9 year old thread. If you reply to a thread people read the first post think it's current and can waste time answering someone who hasn't been here for a decade or something.

If you have a question then you need a new thread of your own.

 

[Vanshika]

Also this is a 9 year old thread. If you reply to a thread people read the first post think it's current and can waste time answering someone who hasn't been here for a decade or something.

If you have a question then you need a new thread of your own.

Ok thank you. But i wanted long yi to read my message based on time. So, how to tag long yi in new post?

 

[moss elk]

You missed the point entirely.
Good luck.

 

[Trojina]

Ok thank you. But i wanted long yi to read my message based on time. So, how to tag long yi in new post?

You can't tag him if you are not a supporter so the best thing is to start a conversation with him by clicking on his name and going to 'start conversation'. However his method has nothing to do with the I Ching as we use it here.

 

[Vanshika]

You missed the point entirely.
Good luck.

I didn't .. long yi has done my reading twice previously.. 100% correct!