My life seems to be over

[CuriousGeorge]

Hi all, this is the most emotional pain I've ever felt, it feels like drowning and I'm not moving, or eating, or sleeping. I've been feeling my partner of 4 years growing distant for the past month when previously we were extremely close. We shared everything, she told me she wanted us to become a family, and then all of a sudden she pulled back. It's clear that she's interested in somebody else, but she won't talk to me about it. I went away to London for 10 days, I'm returning on Monday, and I could feel before I left that this would be disastrous for me to leave. We were talking on the phone at first and everything was fine, and then suddenly she stopped texting me, she stopped calling, and now when I get in touch with her it seems like her mind is elsewhere. I asked the I ching whether or not what I was feeling was correct and I got 20.3.4>33, which indicates to me that I am correct.

I asked what was happening with her and I got 54.2>51.

I asked what was coming up in my love life and I got 54 unchanging.

I finally got her to talk to me today and when I called, one of our close friends was with her and we all chatted as friends which gave me some hope, but I also felt like the friend was just there to help my GF not have to talk to me about the issue. So I told my GF before we hung up that she could call me again later if she felt like it and she was like "yea maybe" which I could tell was a "no." I asked which of my perspectives was correctly founded and I got 22.4.5>13, which tells me that the friendly conversation we had was indeed a facade, and 38.1>64 which tells me that she doesn't want to talk to me. I asked why our friends are helping her deceive me and I got 33.1.2.4>9. I've gotten a bunch of throws involving 23 and 33 that really clearly seem to be saying "yes it's over, you need to simply move on, let these people out of your life, stop whining about it." But these are my closest friends, and my partner who I was previously so close with. I asked one last time if there is any other way to look at it and I got 43.4.5 > 11 which is saying "you're resisting the only path you can take." Which says stop trying to change the situation with sheer force of will.

It really feels like the I ching isn't giving me any positive outlook here, none of this is going to end well, I basically have to try to restart my life with entirely new people (or the few friends who aren't involved in this situation). I know this is a lot of hexes and a lot of questions, I'm normally very composed and resilient but this has really rocked me and I'm just looking for any, ANY glimmer of hope other than just "at least you get these shitty people out of your life" because that means that I wasted many years of my energy and emotional investment in people who ultimately did not care about me. I haven't slept in three days. Somebody please help me.

 

[equinox]

Hello NoobodyGoingNowhere,

very sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult situation.

I am bad in doing multiple readings in detail but I will try a summary of all I can get of your results.
I think you interpreted the results well in that hindsight, that you have no ther choice than withdrawing, whatever the final result of it may be.

But I think you are too pessimistic right now -- not that I can't understand that -- lovesickness is one of the most horrible feeeling one can experience. But I don't see your results as hopeless as you do now, okay, they describe a big crisis, but at the same time they show that you are indeed strong enough to overcome this situation if you accept it and let it happen.

38.1 > 64 sometimes is indicating that the one you asked about will come back if you let them go. In any case it means that your joy of living will come back if you let go and accept what life gives you now.

I don't know about your gf and if she is really betraying you or what the real reason for her withdrawal is, but that's really strange and not okay that she leaves you in such uncertainity.
Or could it be that she is 'just' really overchallenged with you and your situation whyever and you don't realise it? I read in your other thread that you feel being in a difficult phase of life in general right now. Sometimes people can't cope with such things, but please don't take my words now in a way that I blame you for this bad communication resp. her withdrawal. I don't know anything about it, just what you told. 54.2 is hinting that you don't see the whole picture, so follow the advice of 20.3.4 and a have deep look especially inside yourself.

If is really the case that she has another guy and she is not telling you, I can well imagine that you realize sooner than you think that you don't want her back and that there are much better people for you around the corner. I experienced this quite a few times, even if I was thinking that I am going to die if I don't get back with them, when I was in the middle of the situation.

The (sometimes ugly) end of an relationship doesn't mean that 'you wasted many years of your energy and your life for nothing' as you think.
First it is not said that she didn't/ doesn't love you and didn't tried her best -- people are just able to give as much as they can -- and this is not too much in some cases :/

Second, your results clearly show that you will gain a lot of valuable life experience if you are willed to grow. And I can see from your results that you want to grow, this is only obscured now by your feelings of desparation. I wish you all the best and that your pain will be eased as soon as possible.

I know you want to hear something different -- not an abstract advice on valuable life experiences and (spiritual) growth, but this is really not just generally said, to me that's the message of your results in a whole.

 

[diamanda]

Hi,

Equinox is right, and as an added detail, the answers are abstract because most your questions all revolve around your feelings, your views, the common friends, etc. Only these two questions are more concrete:

I asked what was happening with her and I got 54.2 > 51.
I asked what was coming up in my love life and I got 54 unchanging.
I'm afraid it sounds like there is indeed another person involved.

In my opinion, ask concrete questions on how to get her back to you / how to remain together.
It's certainly not unheard of that one person of a couple is interested in someone else.
The question is if the partner can still keep hold of the straying partner and get them back on track.

PS - please update your older thread! what happened with that job?

 

[steve]

Hi

I know what you are going through its horrible to say the least.
Its hard to understand at the moment but there are other women out there.
When you are depressed its hard to do anything or think straight.
The fact is that while you are acting down she is not going to want to be around you.
People are attracted to positive things and feelings.

20.2.3>33

Suggests that in hexagram 20 line 2 that you are looking at this issue from a very narrow point of you. It may even be that looking at her with rose colored glasses. She is not a perfect angel and you should realise this. If she is interested in someone else then let her be. She may come to regret it or maybe the right thing for her. Time will tell, line 3 is asking you to examine this train of thought and what are the consequences. Hexagram 33 is asking you too I believe cease a desist this train of thought. Its unhealthy, I really do understand what you are going through. Take multivitamins. if you cant eat and go for long walks or exercise this will help fight the depression.
Life will go on and you will feel better soon.

Wishing you all the best
Steve

 

[CuriousGeorge]

Hi Everybody, so much gratitude for all your replies and I'm sorry I never gave a resolution. The relationship lasted another 6 very unpleasant months, my partner came from a family where emotional communication was highly discouraged so as hard as I tried different routes to create space for us to have an open dialogue, we continually drifted apart and eventually I caught her cheating with a close friend of mine. I ended the relationship and moved out of the house; the two of them told all of our mutual friends that I had made it up in an effort to discredit her and justify breaking up with her which was so ridiculous and almost comical that I didn't have the energy to argue with them, I just accepted the damage and tried to start over socially and romantically. Things are going much better now and I still have some ride-or-die old homies as well as some new ones from starting graduate school, but it's difficult to find new friendships at age 30, especially when you're dealing with some residual problems with trust. I have an avid astrologer friend who says that right now is meant to be a very solitary time for me but I'm generally somebody who greatly values their interpersonal connections so it's been difficult. Anyway, thank you all again, I remember the week when I posted this, it was miserable, but I've strengthened a ton from the experience.