Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
Tiziano I cannot thank you enough. This is so deeply helpful and I sincerely hope that you would do me the honour - I mean that - of bearing with me through this next stage as I navigate this time. What you see and accurately observed reflects back the circumstances as they are - and I am conscious of how close to the surface my tears are when I receive insight like this or when I am held under the small of my back by a therapist. Great gulps of grief are inside I know - but they only occur when I breathe & am still. Tinnitus, headaches, dizzyness and deep tiredness are inside - and yet I sense a strong core if only i can navigate correctly.
I have been searching for a wise teacher and gone from one genuine person to the next - but no one has suggested any course other than to just keep going as I am, that I have the answers - but I obviously don't ! and I know I don't - not at this stage and as the I Ching points out - I am far from harmony & strength. 1st chakra imbalance probably reflected in my right foot which has a nerve trapped in the side & is very painful when I walk.
My neck is very sore and after 3 cases of meningitis in the last 6 years I am determined not to go that way again and to be very careful here - and I do feel that I need my own space for a month to really let go. Currently I am staying with various people and like a loose cannon in truth. I had booked a silent retreat way back in September for march 11th but with the tinnitus so loud in my ear I am reluctant now, - especially with the cost as I am now fearful of spending my savings.
You mention to look at 60 and when I asked on feb 16th: What is my most important lesson here to grasp so that I can really know what i want to do - I got hexagram 3 with moving line 2 relating to 60. The books that I have been using are Wing which ginnie recommended and is very helpful - and hilary's wikiwing and Karcher, but i am far from understanding anything beyond the basics. 60 represented to me a time of being limited by my situation at the moment - but hinting at the importance of being centred and seeing things clearly.
Hexagram 3 is a whole new ball game in terms of dealing with the question that i asked and you responded to - as it reflects clearly my inability to stick with choices I've made in line 2. But the 60 comes up there.
So, I get to this stage and feel frightened as I know that I need to find a good wise soul, I know I need to rest, relax and breathe, but go round in circles & so many avenues trying to find the space or the person and then it ends in tears and low energy.
So, when you responded so insightfully, it just triggered that emotional response of someone listening and perhaps being in a postion to really help me move forward with this. I am obviously willing but with a severe case of fear that makes things alot harder. So, to your advice, 54 is not an outcome, only for as long as i remain passively moved by anxiety and fear - and the only way out of this is rest, relaxation and breath. i have just completed the 8 week jon Katabt-Zinn mindfulness course for stress control and that is definitely helping. Thank you again, Hebe
Hebe, It has always occured to me from what you post that when this separation takes place, you will fly. A little bird on the fence, all that power in the wings, wondering what will happen when the shackle that ties her there is released. The whole heaven will be your home. I imagine all little birds worry about that moment -- a few wobbly moments -- and then they soar. I hope you'll tell us what happens when life expands. I predict something marvelous. XO Arabella
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).