my relationship with the I Ching

[hebe]

Hello

Not an easy ride by any means at the moment - and am feeling the underlying expectation from myself and people around me to start making choices about what next. Because i am so anxious to get it right I realised that when I felt good about an idea to follow I got all anxious about checking it out with the I Ching in case it gave me a warning against the action - but I know from past readings its important to choose wisely at this stage.

I asked the I Ching for insight into our relationship as I felt this anxiety is not a good foundation - not trusting myself fully - or, the I Ching in that case I suppose, and if it gave a warning against something I felt good about, then it would be a setback against my learning to feel empowered myself at this very difficult time. does that make sense? It gave me 7:1 and 4 leading to 54.

I could take 7:4 as an opportunity to retreat from the I Ching for a bit and just trust myself - or it could be referring to the situation that I am wanting/not wanting to enquire about. From the readings in the forum it suggests that this is also about self empowerment - but I would appreciate any insight if you have any?

thanks, Hebe

 

[tiziano]

Your anxiety makes you a Marrying Maiden (54), what you need is a certain Discipline (7) to learn not to be overcome by emotivity.
Being a Marrying Maiden (which here represents the overall context of your question, your current status -- not an outcome, but it will remain such if you don't act properly) means you have no real control of the situation, you are passively moved by forces stronger than you, which are now your fear and anxiety. The more you fear not to 'get it right', or not to 'choose wisely', the more you risk to fail. All you need is more trust, but trust comes when you're well-centered, so that you become really sensitive, receptive and responsive to everything.
At the present moment, you're still far from it because you have too many expectations and projections. You need to go back to the roots, at line 1, earth level (1st chakra), to set out your army in good order, or to 'tune' yourself to life's diapason, so that you can resonate. The only thing that helps in doing this is rest, relax and breath (at line 4); this line represents throat and communication, but also nourishing oneself, and it is connected to the 5th chakra.
The master figure in hex 7 is a man of high value, a general or a master/spiritual guide (shi), who is trusted by virtue of his authoritativeness, charisma and merits (and he is allowed to speak in front of the king). He is capable of granting discipline because people spontaneously obey to him. Here it can represent Yi itself, but in case you can't establish a proper relationship with it directly, it can also suggest to look for a wise and sage person who can assist you.
Also remember that true discipline is something pleasing and self-feeding, it is sweet, not imposed and bitter (you may also want to have a look at hex 60 about this, which incidentally is very similar to hex 54 in shape).

 

[hebe]

Tiziano I cannot thank you enough. This is so deeply helpful and I sincerely hope that you would do me the honour - I mean that - of bearing with me through this next stage as I navigate this time. What you see and accurately observed reflects back the circumstances as they are - and I am conscious of how close to the surface my tears are when I receive insight like this or when I am held under the small of my back by a therapist. Great gulps of grief are inside I know - but they only occur when I breathe & am still. Tinnitus, headaches, dizzyness and deep tiredness are inside - and yet I sense a strong core if only i can navigate correctly.

I have been searching for a wise teacher and gone from one genuine person to the next - but no one has suggested any course other than to just keep going as I am, that I have the answers - but I obviously don't ! and I know I don't - not at this stage and as the I Ching points out - I am far from harmony & strength. 1st chakra imbalance probably reflected in my right foot which has a nerve trapped in the side & is very painful when I walk.

My neck is very sore and after 3 cases of meningitis in the last 6 years I am determined not to go that way again and to be very careful here - and I do feel that I need my own space for a month to really let go. Currently I am staying with various people and like a loose cannon in truth. I had booked a silent retreat way back in September for march 11th but with the tinnitus so loud in my ear I am reluctant now, - especially with the cost as I am now fearful of spending my savings.

You mention to look at 60 and when I asked on feb 16th: What is my most important lesson here to grasp so that I can really know what i want to do - I got hexagram 3 with moving line 2 relating to 60. The books that I have been using are Wing which ginnie recommended and is very helpful - and hilary's wikiwing and Karcher, but i am far from understanding anything beyond the basics. 60 represented to me a time of being limited by my situation at the moment - but hinting at the importance of being centred and seeing things clearly.

Hexagram 3 is a whole new ball game in terms of dealing with the question that i asked and you responded to - as it reflects clearly my inability to stick with choices I've made in line 2. But the 60 comes up there.

So, I get to this stage and feel frightened as I know that I need to find a good wise soul, I know I need to rest, relax and breathe, but go round in circles & so many avenues trying to find the space or the person and then it ends in tears and low energy.

So, when you responded so insightfully, it just triggered that emotional response of someone listening and perhaps being in a postion to really help me move forward with this. I am obviously willing but with a severe case of fear that makes things alot harder. So, to your advice, 54 is not an outcome, only for as long as i remain passively moved by anxiety and fear - and the only way out of this is rest, relaxation and breath. i have just completed the 8 week jon Katabt-Zinn mindfulness course for stress control and that is definitely helping. Thank you again, Hebe

 

[arabella]

Tiziano I cannot thank you enough. This is so deeply helpful and I sincerely hope that you would do me the honour - I mean that - of bearing with me through this next stage as I navigate this time. What you see and accurately observed reflects back the circumstances as they are - and I am conscious of how close to the surface my tears are when I receive insight like this or when I am held under the small of my back by a therapist. Great gulps of grief are inside I know - but they only occur when I breathe & am still. Tinnitus, headaches, dizzyness and deep tiredness are inside - and yet I sense a strong core if only i can navigate correctly.

I have been searching for a wise teacher and gone from one genuine person to the next - but no one has suggested any course other than to just keep going as I am, that I have the answers - but I obviously don't ! and I know I don't - not at this stage and as the I Ching points out - I am far from harmony & strength. 1st chakra imbalance probably reflected in my right foot which has a nerve trapped in the side & is very painful when I walk.

My neck is very sore and after 3 cases of meningitis in the last 6 years I am determined not to go that way again and to be very careful here - and I do feel that I need my own space for a month to really let go. Currently I am staying with various people and like a loose cannon in truth. I had booked a silent retreat way back in September for march 11th but with the tinnitus so loud in my ear I am reluctant now, - especially with the cost as I am now fearful of spending my savings.

You mention to look at 60 and when I asked on feb 16th: What is my most important lesson here to grasp so that I can really know what i want to do - I got hexagram 3 with moving line 2 relating to 60. The books that I have been using are Wing which ginnie recommended and is very helpful - and hilary's wikiwing and Karcher, but i am far from understanding anything beyond the basics. 60 represented to me a time of being limited by my situation at the moment - but hinting at the importance of being centred and seeing things clearly.

Hexagram 3 is a whole new ball game in terms of dealing with the question that i asked and you responded to - as it reflects clearly my inability to stick with choices I've made in line 2. But the 60 comes up there.

So, I get to this stage and feel frightened as I know that I need to find a good wise soul, I know I need to rest, relax and breathe, but go round in circles & so many avenues trying to find the space or the person and then it ends in tears and low energy.

So, when you responded so insightfully, it just triggered that emotional response of someone listening and perhaps being in a postion to really help me move forward with this. I am obviously willing but with a severe case of fear that makes things alot harder. So, to your advice, 54 is not an outcome, only for as long as i remain passively moved by anxiety and fear - and the only way out of this is rest, relaxation and breath. i have just completed the 8 week jon Katabt-Zinn mindfulness course for stress control and that is definitely helping. Thank you again, Hebe

I think the Marrying Maiden is such an interesting hexagram in a case like this and strikes me it's about your relationship with yourself, your inner core. And that's because the image of the MM would signify to me that you are taking a second position, where you should be accepting a first position. I remember many of your previous posts and the various courses and classes you were contemplating. It has always struck me that you are such a powerful person inside, yet it is the external that you turn to [mentors] with the conviction that it is supporting you. Of course that's easy to visualise as an emergency measure but, in the end, it is you that is healing yourself, your body, your mind, by means of your talent, your persistence and spirit. You keep saying you are looking for a wise person -- that is you and I know you don't see that, not yet anyway. The magic is you. There is no other secret. Everything you have learned is now yours. There is nothing more powerful on earth than the individual human soul -- it literally can't be destroyed. My concern for you Hebe is that, until you take account of your true strength -- not physical but spiritual -- you'll be enslaved to what you see as emotional weakness. So cry, let it out, let it go, let it flow. Your body was made with escape valves. But don't discount the inside of you and all you know and believe. And don't attack yourself, belittle yourself, and become ill, just because you are in a human body feeling human frailties. So what. You are eternal and unique. You are capable of good choices with or without mentors. No need for a Marrying Maiden aura. If you want my opinion, you radiate power and conviction, whether you see that or not.

 

[hebe]

Hi arabella - thanks very much for your considered input - I can only say that it feels empowering to read and if that is your insight, what more could I ask for than to recognise what others perceive which is both uplifting and inspiring; possibly crucial for my healing.

The MM does feel like that to me , once I read through it again. It really does - I can feel it in my body when I read your words about it being connected to my relationship to myself and inner core. Your line: 'Until you take account of your true strength you'll be enslaved to what you see as emotional weakness' - needs thinking about - no! not thinking - no more thinking... needs 'attention' through breath and relaxation. Alot in that line. And 'to take account of my true strength' - again - really needs attention. This must be what this separation is about - an opportunity to recognise and become who I am - not my fearful limited version (48:1) but a more expanded, fuller version (48:6). (those come from a question I asked in 2010 about how I should approach our separation).. Thanks again Arabella, Hebe

 

[arabella]

Hebe, It has always occured to me from what you post that when this separation takes place, you will fly. A little bird on the fence, all that power in the wings, wondering what will happen when the shackle that ties her there is released. The whole heaven will be your home. I imagine all little birds worry about that moment -- a few wobbly moments -- and then they soar. I hope you'll tell us what happens when life expands. I predict something marvelous. XO Arabella

 

[Trojina]

Hebe, It has always occured to me from what you post that when this separation takes place, you will fly. A little bird on the fence, all that power in the wings, wondering what will happen when the shackle that ties her there is released. The whole heaven will be your home. I imagine all little birds worry about that moment -- a few wobbly moments -- and then they soar. I hope you'll tell us what happens when life expands. I predict something marvelous. XO Arabella

I think the separation already took place back in January

Hebe will correct me if I'm wrong

Not much to add here Hebe but like Arabella said out of all this upheaval in your life I feel sure something precious will come

 

[hebe]

thank you

Thank you arabella and Trojan - yes, the separation was Jan 17th - which in fact turned out to be very different from what I was expecting; I love your words Arabella - thank you - and thank you for keeping in touch Trojan.

France had some unexpected beautiful happenings. After an easy (but long -13 hrs journey) Paul and I arrived at our friends rented farmhouse to spend a few days as planned. They were lovely - very relaxed about whatever we wanted to do - and as Paul only had one full day there before going back to his flight to NZ from London, we took off together and walked locally. About 20mins away was L'Ermitage - with free access to the chapel - so we wandered in - and the chapel was just glorious. It was a Carmelite convent with about 15 resident nuns - and the energy in the chapel was just extraordinary.

We meditated there together for an hour or so - and then walked back to the farmhouse - both feeling truly much more at peace than before. I had been quite tearful in the morning when we all went to a local cafe together for a coffee - and that was why we decided to walk alone together in the afternoon. He left the next day and I went straight up to the chapel again - having had a good cry. I felt at a complete loss as if part of my energy body had been 'torn' away. I drew it - and the energy body had red tips - mainly coming from my chest to pelvic area as torn.

When I got there - I knew I'd spend a few hours there, so I immediately went in search of a loo to check that I could use them, and I was stopped by Mother Superior who asked if she could help. Her face was so kind, so gentle and loving I burst into tears in front of her. She was kindness itself and took me inside to a warm room by the fire, asked me to make a hot tea (definitely needed as when Paul and my friends drove off to take him the couple of hours or so to the station, the electricity blew! No tea....) and then sat with me for an hour and a half listening and giving such insight and wisdom on the situation. She understood deeply the whole scenario and from her I quickly found inspiration to fuel my own strength and courage.
She renewed my sense of my own journey - my own pilgrimage and acknowledged that Paul would change and I needed to grown into my time as well. To find my own legs, feet, adventure, opportunities etc. Well, to cut a long story short, I spent almost every waking hour at the convent over the 5 days I was there - my friends were not the slightest bit perturbed - we had lovely evenings together by the fire with simple food and french wine... and were only too thrilled to see the 'radiance' on my face growing day by day as I spent more time with St. Therese.

The energy in the chapel was so deeply rich, that I almost ran to it each day, and fell into such depths of meditation as easily as opening my eyes. I felt her presence and healing as a huge unexpected gift. One night I dreamt that I was alone, frightened and anxious about something. I called urgently to her - 'St Therese, St Therese, St Therese' and then she manifested before me - beginning with the tiniest bright blue light and then growing into the glorious saint, enveloping me in her light. It was magical and Blessed. The next day I felt my torn energy body and it had healed completely. This is only from my minds eye of course - but something I could and can feel, I sense.

Up and down that road, through the woods i went (all ex german/american war zone - but none of that energy left in spite of remaining dug out trenches and ammunition shelters) and had tea and lunch at the convent. On my final day I had another meeting with the Mother Superior who is holding me in her heart and gave me more of a nudge out into 'reality and practicality' than I was expecting, but nonetheless it probably was good to hear.

Throughout this time I had not really felt any pain or emotional grief - although i was taking rescue remedy whenever I remembered. I had to take it dramatically on my way home when I faced my increasingly severe claustrophobia - and almost had a panic on the RER underground in Paris. Held it together - just.

And today - another story... that was then. Paul was in Christchurch but he's safe from the earthquake - his father has lost his house - very central - but for a few hours I had no idea if he was under the rubble or not - I knew he was due in to CHCH today from his cycle beginning at the bottom of the south island. He's ok - it was just so good to hear his voice, but it will change his plans as he has gone into the centre to help and be there for all his family. I still have yet to hear about Christine - my friend in France who is also in CHCH city centre at the moment. Today feels like one of complete shock -
Anyway, I value your words and your sense of hope and trust in me. Of course I will keep posting as its hard not to when I have so many questions. Am going on a retreat for March 11-21 - a silent retreat of no fixed religion - just plenty of space, prayer, meditation, art-room, and countryside. I think it will do me the world of good. Breathe, trust, pray, relax and hope. Love Hebe