Need your help to interpret 54.2.4 to 24 and 2 uc for potential reunion

[Flowing like water]

Hi Everybody,

It’s been some years I follow this blog and check the insights I receive from I-ching. I don’t feel expert anyway, but I believe I have created a connection with Ching and I’m often following its advices as a way of growing.

I will share some background, even though I believe it would need a lot of information.
Then, I will try my own interpretation of the lines and see if you can tell me something more.

It’s about a romance (an important one, even though it lasted only 8 months) with a man older than me and engaged to a woman since ever. They are kind of friends, let’s say, they don’t have sexual intercourse since 10 years at least, but they share their spare time (no children) and part of their social life. He is working addictive (he makes career), he is romantic, polite, sensitive and deep but he has difficulties to enter emotions. He doesn’t know how to deal with them, I think he “escaped” from me because he felt too much. Feelings and emotions if running deep could put in peril his securities and he doesn’t want because he is too scared about its consequences.

The connection between us was very strong since the beginning.
He gave me a lot, in many different ways but he couldn’t give me what I needed more: getting deeper into the relationship.

After we spent a very happy and lovely week end together, where we both were deeply involved, he started to put physical distances (by seeing each other less and less and only in public space for romantic walks). After two months that way, he broke, saying he didn’t feel so much involved as in the beginning.
I believe it, I felt his distance growing, but I also felt it was a kind of escaping from me because we were “too” happy, too much involved.

I decided not to react in my same usual way: as a victim abandoned by men (happened and happened too many times). I’m not chasing after him. I’m exploring myself and my own unconscious fears of commitment because I’m starting to understand how I work as well.

I might look to be not too involved. It’s not so. The way I felt me connected to him happened to me only once in life, with the man I loved most, but it was 15 years ago.

Since we broke, I was doing well, practicing meditation and trusting life that this break was something good to me, a learning experience to see my own fears of commitment, reason why I probably let only the “wrong” men enter my life.
I’m focusing on my own happiness with a sense of not attachment to my feelings to him.
But few days ago, I started again to think about him and desire to have him back romantically.

I believe I cannot deny the part of my mind and my heart that still would like him back to my life. I can observe them and try to let them go. But it doesn’t work all the time.
A part of myself still wants to have him back to my life, here why I asked the Iching the following questions:


“Potential for reunion with X”
54.2.4 to 24

54 is very clear to me. I’m second for sure.
Line 2 looks to tell me I should concentrate on my own happiness. That’s what I’m doing and I will.
Line 4 is a bit tricky. There is a late marriage, a commitment with someone else? Or later with him? Looking at this forum, I could see I Ching doesn’t really answer, both options are possible.
The same about 24, does it mean I should return to myself and forget about him, or might it say there is a potential for reunion with X?
I’m not sure if there is a potential here or not at all.

I don’t want to live in illusion, but I would like to know if he might be back to me, to my life. I was happy with him, despite there were many limits. For sure if I look for reasons to leave, I can find them. Again, if I look for reasons to stay, I still can find them as well.

I asked then:
“Is there a way to have X back to my life for romance? If so, which one?”
I received 2 uc.

An hexagram I well know but I generally find it difficult to apply to my questions.

I think it means there’s not a lot I can do, just being patient and receptive to the unfolding events of life.
But does it mean that being receptive to whatever unfolds is the way to have him back to my life for a romance, or is I-ching just telling me: stop it! Move on, no way with him. As soon as I let him go, I will meet someone else… (going back to line 4 of my previous question)?

What I believe and I know is that the situation cannot change right now. I wonder if it could turn well later on. Whatever Iching is telling me, I will try my best to remove his thought every time he comes back to my mind. As an exercise not to fall back into the same error as I use to do. Too much pain, too many times.

Then, if he will come back with a different approach (I know it wouldn't be an easy way forward), that's would be a dream that happens. Let's see if it is the right or the wrong dream...

If anyone has something to say how to interpret Iching’s answer, it would be helpful and welcome!

Thank you, xxx

 

[Willem D]

Hi "Flowing like water",
First of all, English is not my native language so let's see if I can give my 2 cents in a clear way

The way I see the answer of the Yi is like this:
Hex 24 is the backdrop and it says Return. Return to the condition before you started thinking about this man again, return to yourself and use this situation to find your inner Power.

54.2 Legge: The second line, dynamic, shows her blind of one eye, and yet able to see. There
will be advantage in her maintaining the firm correctness of a solitary widow.

One eye is blind, meaning you are blinded by thinking about this man again in a romantic way, but you are still able to see. You are still able to Return (Hex 24) to inner peace. The second part of 54.2 can be seen as the image of someone who's not giving away her energy to things that compromise her inner peace. There will be advantage if you do so.


54.4 Legge: The fourth line, dynamic, shows the young woman who is to be married off
protracting the time. She may be late in being married, but the time will come.

To me 54.4. seems to say that when you return to yourself and go with flow at the end all will become clear, now if this means you become romantically involved with this man again.....????

Your questions are indirectly all about him (will he come back to me), but could it be that the Yi is addressing 'you' in this situation instead of answering your question about him?

I hope this might give you some help in understanding your Yi answers.

 

[moss elk]

It's a very clear direct answer,

and the 54.4 says,
"don't marry this one,
let this opportunity pass you by"


54-24, Little Sister Returns from this adventure.

 

[marybluesky]

Hello;

your reading about the potential wants you to be the hermit, not to have a relationship with this man, and a proper union will form at its proper time. I don't know if it would be with him or somebody else.

The second reading invites you to do nothing. persevere in your own way of being.

The readings aside, my personal opinion is that you shouldn't waste your time on such a man. I have encountered this type of guys in "complicated, sexless, trusting, friendly, excellent, cold, boring" relationships that seem to never end, but never fulfill properly either. My very first post on this forum was about one, you can see it if you want.

 

[Flowing like water]

Hello to all of you,

thank you for your insights! I believe you all are right. I have to let him go, I don't have to think about him romantically again. I need to be an hermit as you said maybluesky, and I also need to return to myself and use this situation to find my inner Power, as you said Willem D.
The way this man acted was not giving me what I needed and that's what counts more.
I don't think he will be able to change, neither for me or another. Not if he doesn't decide to look inside himself and sort out his dynamics. But that's no more my problem. We used to talk a lot about his issues, the way he isn't able to really contact his emotions. He used to hear from me what I thought about, but he never did nothing even in front of him agreeing with me. He needed actions, not words. But he couldn't. He didn't want probably.

So, I feel energized by your words, I will continue to focus on my inner power and I want to continue believing that one day (sooner or later) I could meet a man for an healthy commitment. I will work on myself and my own issues, hoping I will find what I'm looking for.

I have to say that I find difficult to believe I will succeed in meeting someone to be happy with. I will try not to loose my hopes.
Thank you for your insights!
I will have a look at your very first post, Marybluesky. It will help )

ps. I think I will ask Yi what's the right way to meet a man for commitment. Hope I will get a clear answer. If it weren't so, I will ask for your help again.
It's clear anyway, that at this time I have to do nothing, but persevering as you said marybluesky.
I love meditating, it really makes me feel better and empowered in my aims, it's a way of "doing nothing", just observing and let my negative thoughts fly away, making room for something else. But sometimes, it's really challenging doing nothing, not acting on my wishes. I'm not talking about my thoughts for this man, but not worrying about if I will ever meet someone we love each other.

How challenging this path is. I feel like by meeting the wrong men again and again forces me to look deeper inside my own issues. But what I wonder is: how many wrong men shall I still meet before I can understand what's really wrong with myself...?

 

[marybluesky]

Sorry flowing like water.

I've never had a long-term relationship & somehow feel for you. Meeting the wrong men can teach you lessons, but they can't give you what you want, as you've already said.