Nervous 38>56

[becalm]

Understandably I'm very nervous about my place in my new job because history has shown me, whilst things start out fine, I end up in a toxic situation. Except for the last job I had, I can see where I was partly at fault for looking like I was the 'bad' guy.

In my new job they all seem like nice women (younger and less experienced than me) but still good at there jobs nonetheless.
The second in charge is inherently lazy and can get away with it because she's been there the longest and knows the job but she's just doing what she needs to do and nothing more. The new boss seems to be making changes so the place runs a lot more efficiently and productively.
I'm super creative and have mentioned a few things I'd like to do and they (appear) to be wholeheartedly embracing this. The problem I've come across in the past is that others seem to get jealous of my skills and abilities and things start going downhill from there.

What can I expect this time around (in a new job) hex 38.1.2.3>56

Line 1 - Don't worry about the differences we'll sort them out between us.
Line 2 - I've met this type of opposition before but keep connecting to my inner self (Lord).
Line 3 - It will be a bit rocky at first but turns out fine.

38>56 - There may be Opposition at first but things but we'll move through it.

 

[rosada]

38. The sisters who get along okay in the home but eventually they will be leaving and 56. moving on.
Perhaps this is referring to your co-workers and highlighting that while you all share this work space and create a family feeling for yourselves and the children, ultimately you will all be moving on and therefore be aware that your relationships need only be superficial. You don't need to be close friends. As the old joke goes, "If the kids are alive at the end of the day I've done my job."

38.1
Do your work without trying to promote your ideas. If others recognize your methods are successful, great but no need to chase after them.
38.2
You may have opportunities to bond with some of the co-workers outside of work. Perhaps this gives an opportunity to make suggestions.

 

[becalm]

Thanks Rosada - I have decided not to promote any of my ideas at this point. Just go in do what I'm supposed to do and do the same the next day.....

 

[rosada]

Congratulations! I think that is a sign of real advancement. You've gone from being The Victim to doing Stand Up (for yourself) (I'm referring to you saying you've had work experiences where the toxicity was not your fault to the last one where you recognize you had a share in creating it, probably because you spoke up!) Anyway, yeah, just do your job and watch the show.

 

[dfreed]

What can I expect this time around (in a new job) hex 38.1.2.3>56

A few ideas:

Line 38.1: Losing horses. Don’t follow their track: they’ll soon come back. Seeing a disfigured man. No misfortune:

.... that perhaps things will start out a bit rough (losing horses), but will work themselves out. 'Seeing a disfigured man' suggest that you may always see things a bit differently than others (which is not necessarily a bad nor good thing).

Line 38.2: Meeting the master in an alley. No misfortune:

.... if you have new ideas or issues, try approaching the boss privately (at least at first), and not in a more 'public' setting such as a team meeting. Perhaps your new boss is open to hearing new ideas or issues, but doesn't feel comfortable being put on the spot.

Line 38.3: See: here comes a wagon drawn by an ox with a crumpled horn. The branded carter’s nose is torn. No beginning. There will be an end:

.... here there is an injury, an imperfect ox which either still works through to the end (that there are imperfections in all work situations we need to accept) OR that these imperfections - differences, disagreements - will be healed over time.

Looking at the trigram meanings:

* You as the lower trigram change (completely) from Lake to Mountain: this suggest that you are mostly concerned about your own joy and contentment at work, but that over time you become (or it is suggesting that you become) more Mountain-like: perhaps more conservative - not necessarily politically - but more conservative in how you approach and do your job. Also, that over time you'll develop / discover a more independent, more sure sense of your 'self'.

It might also mean that an inner change of attitude is necessary on your part: that despite your 'new' ideas (which may be good), you'll need to accept they company's way of doing things if you want to remain happy at work. And maybe too much change too quickly is not a desirable thing at this job.

* The upper trigram, Flame / Fire doesn't change in this reading: it suggests that the company (the boss, management) are very clear about what they are doing - and why they are here. Fire includes the idea of co-depending (not the more negative co-dependency): it suggests this is a place where people are encouraged (and even expected) to work together and support each other - as fire is supported by fuel and air.

Best, D

 

[becalm]

Thanks D - I appreciate you taking the time to make it clear for me. Yes I do need to change my own (inner) self righteous attitude just because I see a different/better way to do things.

Yes you're right the organisation have their set way of running things which puts a limit on my ideas etc. but I noticed that yesterday and just thought I have to accept that's how it is and perhaps find a different way to implement my ideas that doesn't upset the equilibrium and make me look like I'm a smarty pants.....

 

[dfreed]

Yes I do need to change my own (inner) self righteous attitude just because I see a different/better way to do things.

I retired just over a year ago, but before that I worked for a local county agency for close to 20 years. It was a good job in many ways: a friendly, respectful work environment, were we had a lot of flexibility in how we did our jobs.

However, there were limits to this 'flexibility' - and it took me a long time learn how to not butt my head against the wall, trying to change certain things. After all, as a local government, our ultimate 'boss' was the county executive and the county council, and in some cases I had to get used to the notion that county politics and the executive's politics trumped my views, even if I - in an otherwise perfect universe - might be right!

Also, because I worked on different projects at the same time, at any given time I might have more than one 'boss' (my supervisor, his manager, different project managers .... ) who all had their expectations and ways of doing things. And I bashed my head against the wall far, far less when I realized that what they wanted took precedence over my (obviously superior) ways of doing things.

Best, D

 

[becalm]

Hahahaha - gotcha, so many times I've questioned (in myself) how on earth did these people become managers!!! One of the worst things I find, which is in most work places, is the lack of effective communication! I was helping a little girl the other day giving her the most basic simple instructions, visual and verbal and she still couldn't understand, so in the end I just thought she mustn't have much 'upstairs' because all the other kids were fine. I find out a day later that she was new and very nervous.....

 

[becalm]

Suddenly things just changed from Opposition to can we use your experience to set up some programs. One of the girls still doesn't like it but I know she's just trying to accept that's the way it is. She's fine towards me although she was a little bit 'off' one day and it just looks like she's trying to work through her own 'opposition' to it.
I don't know her history but I understand now, it's got nothing to do with me.

 

[mandarin_23]

Congratulations, becalm!

Opposition, which is the other side and partner of 37, people in the house. So this is what happens when you go out, into the world, being new. It is the team building process, and yet you are an own person. There is common ground (38.2 says it, I think), but also diversity, so beware of misunderstandings.

You are a traveller, this is what 56 says! You aren't settled so far. And 38 with all the three changing lines ... your inner attitude is most important. To be open and to do communication, but also best not to overdo - not in the beginning. There will be smaller things to be accomplished, at least in the beginning.



All the best!
Mandarine

 

[becalm]

Thank you Mandarin - it's definitely a personal learning curve for me in the way I need to go about things to have what I want in the job to enjoy it.
At the moment I'm not liking the job all that much, not as much as I thought I would, but I'll see how it goes over the next school term.

 

[becalm]

Unfortunately this happened -

Line 3
Opposing elements penalize your progress. Possibly an untrustworthy person is actively working against you. Maintain your course and your correctness will triumph in the end.

It wasn't until last night I realised and I've felt 'sick' and angry ever since and can't seem to shake it.
I've mentioned the 2IC appears jealous of me but I don't understand why. She's been there 2 years and had her chance to take up what they're offering me and it's not like I'm taking her job.
She's found a younger girl to do her 'dirty work'. I've no idea how to handle this situation except to walk away - I doubt anyone will listen to what I have to say.....

Show me the way to handle this situation - 37.1.4>33

Is that just Stay Home - Retreat to my own Family (which is just me)​

 

[legume]

38.1.2.3 > 56

it might be an unpopular opinion but i personally find Ewald’s translation and commentary to the 1st line quite useful, as among other translations it gives the best opportunity to look at one’s actions from the other person’s perspective. I Ching the Dutch way - harsh but true.

„Aversion goes away.
The lost horse didn't run away by itself again.
See the dislike.
The other is without fault.

The other person doesn't want to be with one. Try to see what the other dislikes, as this other person isn't wrong here. One will get used to the situation.”

in my experience i had some horses that never came back, simply because i was so stubborn as to not want to see anything wrong in myself and kept projecting all my anger at that „stupid horse” at the time and that’s also ok, as we didn’t „belong together” so to speak. though in hindsight i know the problem was me and we could have at least stayed friendly with each other had i not been telling that horse what’s wrong with it - that was the very pursuing or running after the horse, that made it stay away from me. the horse was a guy btw, quite a stallion too, so kinda shame.

i think line 3 might be speaking of holding onto an „image” of a past trauma or unnecessarily projecting it onto current events.

and the whole 56 in this situation could be the context of being a visitor in your new job. not sure how long you’ve been there, but i feel that within first month or so (however long a probation period lasts) it’s not very useful to share straight away what can be improved in a place, where we’ve just got invited to join. it’s time to be more like a guest, learn and observe the customs, as any such eagerness may be seen as „this place and the way you do things is not good enough”.

and so you may also interpret 37.1.3 > 33 as quitting, staying home, retreating if after the time there you feel this is really not for you. but i’d read it more as possibly just taking a step back, finding your boundaries and through that your place within that "family".

She's found a younger girl to do her 'dirty work'. I've no idea how to handle this situation except to walk away - I doubt anyone will listen to what I have to say

does this actually affect your portion of the work? if not, why overstep the boundary and worry about it at all? i've heard somewhere recently "Worrying is just praying for what you don't want." hope this helps.

 

[rosada]

37.1 Stay in your own area.
37.4 Do your job knowing you’re good even if others don’t know enough to be able to recognize your abilities.
33. Don’t get drawn into competitive games of one up Manship.

 

[becalm]

37.1 Stay in your own area.
37.4 Do your job knowing you’re good even if others don’t know enough to be able to recognize your abilities.
33. Don’t get drawn into competitive games of one up Manship.

Yes you're right Rosada and I've no intention of trying to up her Manship. Sadly it triggered my PTSD symptoms and that's more my main concern here, really. I don't have the capacity to be in another toxic environment, I've seen what it can do to my health overall.

 

[becalm]

Thanks legume - I understand exactly what's going on from her perspective and have owned my own part in things.


does this actually affect your portion of the work? if not, why overstep the boundary and worry about it at all?
Yes it does. All jobs have a part that no one wants to do and between them they convinced me it was part of my duties that day to do something they were supposed to be doing. The positive from that was I'll get more in my pay because I had to stay longer to complete the task. The negative is that I don't want to work in an environment where there's that sort of behaviour.

 

[becalm]

38.2
You may have opportunities to bond with some of the co-workers outside of work. Perhaps this gives an opportunity to make suggestions.

Line 38.2: Meeting the master in an alley. No misfortune:

.... if you have new ideas or issues, try approaching the boss privately (at least at first), and not in a more 'public' setting such as a team meeting. Perhaps your new boss is open to hearing new ideas or issues, but doesn't feel comfortable being put on the spot.

Best, D

My boss wants to learn to sew so we can teach the kids. As soon as she found out I'm a seamstress she went out a bought a sewing machine and today I started teaching her. This is reflected in what Rosada has said about Line 2 and I also took the opportunity to speak to her about my frustrations in private so that reflects what D has said here.....I felt so much better after being able to speak up as she also shared some of frustrations about one of our bigger bosses!!! Which I totally get, I'm just glad I'm not in her position

 

[dfreed]

she also shared some of frustrations about one of our bigger bosses!!!

I'm glad it is turning out for the better. I'd only add that for me "Meeting the master in an alley" has a private quality to it. It therefore made me concerned about her sharing her frustrations about one her higher-ups. If it were me getting that info. I'd keep quiet about it, so it doesn't later come back and bite me. Best, D.

 

[becalm]

Funny you should say that because yesterday a neighbour, who’d I’d never met before but we started chatting outside our homes and ended up having a coffee together, told me something very confidential. If I were to tell anybody in our region he’d be condemned and lose his home. Not because he’s a bad person but people are quick to judge. My point being I don’t share confidences at work or otherwise.

 

[becalm]

Hahahaha as I always say - it really does come in threes - my youngest son rang me today and told me something about his older brother and asked me to keep it in confidence....

 

[becalm]

Funny how, before I even started this job I had my reservations and had 2 or 3 threads on it, but I kept blaming in on my own inner attitude......