New relationship, but not an official one yet. 22.6

[freemymind]

I have been seeing a guy for a few months now, we are not official. He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, I told him the same, but I'm a bold face liar! Anyways, the signals he sends tell me otherwise. Holding hands, hugging me, saying I don't know why I just don't make you mine already then I casually shrug it off...duh?! Leaves me confused....I feel great when I'm with him. It feels like it is leading to more in a slow natural way. I am so impatient though waiting for things to develop to something more committed. I had to ask a few questions, I looked at various websites and on here too, but I'm never sure how to really see what the interpretation means. I would appreciate some help. Please

What role do I play in his life? 22.6 to 36

Also, what is the potential of this relationship?

53.1.5.6. to 36

 

[altair139]

Guys have their own emotional insecurity and sometimes they just dont want to be alone. Probably this is the reason why he doesn't to commit to a serious relationship.
22 is fire under the mountain. Your love is like the fire here, trapped yet can't engulf the mountain and can only light it up at the base (like how a jewel adorns its bearer). As line 6 suggests, you are aware of this and understand that a relationship won't work out for both of you, thus hex 36 will be the result, your and his feelings will be subdued. You won't regret about this much though, you treasure what you two had.

even the next question is suggesting the samething, as 53.1 to 37, 37.5 to 22 (again) and from 22.6 to 36
53.1 depicts you and a confusion, 37.5 says that he likes you to some extent, the rest is like above

 

[Tim K]

What is your role? 22.6 - 36, a white light to brighten his darkness [36], contrast and complement.

About potential? 53 - 36.
53.1 He is a bit shy, inexperienced and unsure, but that's ok. He will get better.
53.5 Have patience, the situation will improve gradually.
53.6 Excellent result, all confusion dissolves.

Transitional lines are the same:
37.5 King approaches his family, I hope there will be wedding [53 and 37 both give this idea].
22.6 Again. White dress - either a wedding or just cherish what you have, what you feel inside. Ornament doesn't matter. A ring on a finger or not - just love him and that is enough.

 

[rosada]

I think 36. Brightness Hidden refers to the fact you have told him you don't want to be in a relationship with him yet here you say that is not the truth, that you really do want to be in a relationship with him. I think the I Ching is saying that this hiding your true feelings, has somehow created a 22.Fantasy in his mind. He's thinking you aren't interested in a relationship and so he's thinking you are his dream come true! But it can't last because it's built on a deception.

 

[freemymind]

This sounds confusing, what altair139's view is. He was in a 13 year relationship and has been single only for a year and half. So I can see why he wouldn't be ready to jump in quite yet but he was not getting nurtured from that relationship for many years this I know. And as for Ashteroid's view, well it just sounds amazing. I'm still so confused with 22 though, what does it mean for relationships? Is it a good thing or is it a bad thing where you got blinders on because your smitten and don't see reality clearly? And the whole ornamental stuff? Yikes!

 

[freemymind]

Rosada, that totally makes sense. I wonder if I can undo that now? We definitely need to have a talk about our intentions and thoughts about where this is going.

 

[diamanda]

What role do I play in his life? 22.6 to 36
A white light, a blank, that leads to darkness.
You are something nice that numbs his senses. But not enough to light his darkness.

Also, what is the potential of this relationship?
53.1.5.6. to 36
He will take absolute ages to commit, and when one day he decides to do that, it will be too late.
Notice here that hidden lines are 37.5 (he does feel love) and 22.6 again.
And leading to hurt/darkness again. Not good :-/

This whole notion of "not being ready" after a year plus is quite sick.
I know people who were not ready, and yet when they met a great person, ready or not, they went for it (and lived happily ever after). Seriously. There's something wrong with this guy.

PS - the notion of "22" is of no interest here.
Since the very last line (6) is changing, it means the situation is far beyond 22 (surface, grace) and well into 36 (wound, darkness).

 

[freemymind]

He actually never told me he wasn't ready I just assumed that.

Notice here that hidden lines are 37.5 (he does feel love) and 22.6 again.- Do you mean does not feel love?

 

[diamanda]

Yes I can see why you assumed that, since he doesn't want to commit.

Even if he does feel love, he still approaches you "like a king", with a certain arrogance.
He does feel something for you, but not enough to make a proper couple as you know so far, and from the readings it seems it will go on like this and hurt you...

 

[freemymind]

So are you saying he does feel love for me? I mean this is still a relatively new relationship, but I do feel like it is time to step it up a notch. I don't want to rush anything but I do want a little more, I do think he is shy and slow to the get go. And I'm feeling frustrated because I don't want to push, I mean if it feels this good these feelings I'm having then hell wouldn't it be wonderful to have it with someone whose feeling are reciprocated. I don't know what to do....just keep going with the flow and hope things change for the better.

 

[diamanda]

Perhaps ask "how should I act towards him so that we can have a proper relationship".

 

[freemymind]

Okay so I asked "How should I act towards him so that we can have a proper relationship"

56.4.5 to 53

 

[rosada]

Going back to one of your original questions, what is the potential? You received 53.1 which is about being in the right place at the beginning of a courtship so I think you are being advised that if you can step back from your current arrangement and renegotiate there is the possibility of something good. But first you have to say something like, "We need to renegotiate" or, "Can we start over?"
Until then 56.4.5 says treat him as you would a traveler who may or may not be just passing through and don't give him more of your time and favors than such a traveler deserves. Perhaps he will evolve beyond the passing through stage and start an actual 53.Courtship but until he does...well, you have a couch for guests in the living room.

 

[altair139]

13 years? there you go, he's still not over that relationship, and just wanted to be with someone only for accompany. Based on my experience, it's very hard to get something out of this relationship, because his feeling for you isn't genuine. At least not as passionate as the previous one.

the reason why i dont see any potential is because 22 usually comes out as an one sided love in these kinds of oracle (love not enough for the fire to engulf the mountain). In chinese this hexagram is called "bi", which directly means "sealed", "congested", "blocked", so in love oracle this usually depicts the state of your love. (in terms of the image, the fire is congested below the mountain, thus only serves to adorn it)

Line 6 is 白賁, 无咎 which translates: bright white adornment, no blame. The adornment has reached its peak till it's shining white, yet no blame for such. "White adornment" in ancient chinese means cheap adornment (apart from gold - yellow adornment, which is luxurious), meaning simplicity rules over superficial things. In love oracle I can only relate this to the sincerity of your feelings. However, line 6 of 36 states: 不明晦, 初登于天, 後入于地．which reads: Not brightening, but darkening. He raised to heaven then plunges into the earth. Considering what happened in line 6 of hex 22, this can only mean that your feeling will not get into him (or it did but only for a short while), and he's going deeper in his old, sad and negative emotions. Hope you can relate and relay back to us what will happen.

 

[diamanda]

I agree with altair139 - and, the white of line 22.6 is also a colour of mourning.

Also agree with rosada's interpretation of your second reading.
Treat him like a stranger, don't see him much, don't talk to him much.
Maybe then he will realise that he can't simply receive a lot from you without giving anything back.

 

[rosada]

I don't know as I would say 56 means treat him like a stranger as in don't talk or see him much. More like treat him as a tourist as in protect your heart and don't expect or invite him into closer familiarity. You can have a delightful visit with a tourist if you act with the knowingness you'll be waving them on their way when the visa expires.

Also just because he was in a long term relationship awhile back doesn't mean he's not interested in one now. People who have been in committed relationships - good or bad - are more likely to be interested in being part of a couple than someone who has been a bachelor all their lives.

That said, it may be useful to consider that Saturn is at the first degrees of a new sign right now having just gone into Sagittarius (the sign of the traveler) recently. Having Saturn at the first degrees suggests things being slow to get off the ground, a sense of wanting to be very sure what we're agreeing to before going further out on the limb. Saturn will be in this start-up position till around the end of November. With that in mind I think you can relax and recognize that a slow start is appropriate and just focus on being very conscientious about keeping your own commitments and not over extending yourself right now.

 

[Tim K]

"How should I act towards him so that we can have a proper relationship" 56.4.5 to 53
I see it as Legge says in 56.4 → 52 (Keeping Still):
Shows the traveller in a resting-place, having (also) the means of livelihood and the axe,
(but still saying), 'I am not at ease in my mind.'
Daniels: Things are going well, but you are not content.

Next line is 52.5 → 53 (Gradual Development), Richmond:
Keeping the jaws still, words are in order. Regret disappears.

So, don't worry too much, the process should be gradual.

 

[ginnie]

Also, what is the potential of this relationship?

53.1.5.6. to 36

Often when 53 defines the relationship, it means that one of the people is a lot more mature than the other one. One is mature and the other one is more childish. So this will be a long-time relationship in which the more mature one will learn to accept the annoying ways of the childish one. And the childish one will learn to respect the serious demeanor of the more mature one. All this takes time, but line 5 of hex 53 says that the relationship will be fulfilled. And line 6 moving suggests that there will be a lot of spiritual growth in this relationship, too.

I interpret the 22.6 as saying that he finds her simply beautiful. She just "hits the spot" as far as he is concerned. He doesn't want anything more. Maybe she should be on guard against selling herself short, because simplicity is one thing but being obligingly serviceable is doing oneself a disservice. She's afraid of getting hurt, but it is more that it's a long-term relationship that is going to take years to fully play out.