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New Romantic Interest

shefa

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I met a man through work a few months ago. Had a brief exchange that was pleasant but I didn't think too much about it since I was just ending a relationship at that time. I ran into him again more recently and we have shared some good conversations. I have not been in the dating scene for awhile and so I am rusty. He said he would like to take me to lunch or dinner, I was stunned because it has been awhile since I was in this kind of situation, and I didn't give a very affirmative response. I have asked yi a few questions about this connection and got 11 a couple times, and some 1 and 2. I also got line which said, "he will woo at the right time." Now we recently spent some more time together through work, (we do not work at the same company so it's OK to date) and it was very nice and comfortable. Nothing said by either person about getting together outside. I asked yi three questions:

tell me about X and me? -- 34 unchanging
what's the best approach for me to take? -- 24.6 > 27

then I asked for help undersanding that unfortunate line and got 36.3.4.5 > 17

Please help - your insights into this is requested. I usually believe if a man is interested he will just go for it, but maybe not this man. What do you think yi says?
 
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schastlivchik

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Hello! Just some ideas that I hope will stimulate your thinking.

The first hexagram seems to relate on a deep level the way you two have a tendency to relate in relationship, that is as two very strong forces with a tendency to clash (metal and wood). From this, I would assume that things would be more electric, sparky, but not cozy or as supportive as you might like. For example, you both might find your schedules are so busy that the relationship is strained, or that you are both type A personalities, for example.

That said, looking at the second hexagram...
You are the lower trigram, wood, and he is the upper trigram earth, because, when I do readings, the changing line usually stands for the object of the question. That means that wood, which controls earth, reveals the way you have a tendency to move forward and go after your goal. Zhen is active, and would indicate you have a tendency to make the first move, while he is earth, and more likely to wait. There are probably good reasons for each of you to be represented by those energies at present, and perhaps that is why the 6th line is so cautious of you giving in to the energies of your trigram, zhen.

The final question's hexagram does paint an image that, while you may still get what you want, it may not be satisfying. Here again, I see you as the lower trigram fire, which gives and is exhausted by the upper trigram earth. It would imply that the relationship eventually will be taxing, draining or unfulfilling.

To sum up, compare this reading with what your gut tells you, because after all, you are involved enough to have gut feelings about where this will go. For me, I think one can always glean a gem from an experience, but the symbols seem to be guiding you away from this relationship.

all the very best,
schastlivchik
 

willowfox

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"tell me about X and me? -- 34 unchanging"

There is an inherent power in this relationship that needs time to mature, so neither of you should act rashly under the circumstances. The need here is to persevere in your mini dates, because from an acorn a mighty oak grows, so do do not force the pace.

"what's the best approach for me to take? -- 24.6 > 27

Hex 24.6 says that you have followed a path of non involvement for a long time now and that it was quite the wrong thing to do, now you have a chance once again to form a relationship but you have made the mistake of not accepting quickly enough because of your reticence to get throughly involved with this guy, now you must wait patiently for the guy to make another grand offer for a night out and then you must accept.

Hex 27 is about providing emotional nourishment here, so when you have finally accepted his offer to go some place nice, then a bond will start to form between you, and then you will be in a position to give of yourself emotionally.
 

willowfox

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"then I asked for help understanding that unfortunate line and got 36.3.4.5 > 17"

The line 24.6 is not unfortunate, is just telling you that you have had the wrong attitude for far too long and now you are in a bit of a rut, you have to wait for this guy to drag you out of your hole, if you try to instigate the action, it will prove to be disappointing for you, so you are in a tricky position but a position that can and will be resolved.

Hex 17 says when the time is ripe and the guy offers you another chance for a big date then go for it, if you relax and go with the flow then you will have a lovely time.
 

shefa

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Thank you both for such interesting responses. I do feel at a gut level there is potential here. It was difficult to hold this feeling alongside a nagging sense that a grown man goes for it despite resistence. I guess that is true some of the time but not necessarily all of the time. Also I am not the only one who is out of practice - it is him also. I do want to say directly, "So, let's go out already!" but I will not for now. I want it to come from him. Thank you for the help and insight.
 

Trojina

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FWIW I agree with Wfox. 24.6 here i think is not unfortunate but a warning you'll miss out on something good if you hold back too long. If he has made a suggestion to meet once and you didn't respond then if hes sensitive hes not going to keep pushing is he ?

Maybe if you don't want to be too direct you could just be very encouraging for him to ask again ;)
 

shefa

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Trojan, days after the invite I said to him, "didn't you invite me out?" and he said, "Yes, we'll go out." Then we walked into a meeting and nothing has been said since. I think I did made it clear I am open to this idea but then nothing. Does the 24.6 refer to this past event, or a warning for the future to be more receptive next time, or am I already subject to "ten years" of waiting? WF suggests yi says not to force the pace. I am trying now to do more 17. But it is a difficult balance to not force while also encouraging and being receptive.
 

Trojina

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Trojan, days after the invite I said to him, "didn't you invite me out?" and he said, "Yes, we'll go out." Then we walked into a meeting and nothing has been said since. I think I did made it clear I am open to this idea but then nothing. Does the 24.6 refer to this past event, or a warning for the future to be more receptive next time, or am I already subject to "ten years" of waiting? WF suggests yi says not to force the pace. I am trying now to do more 17. But it is a difficult balance to not force while also encouraging and being receptive.

Oh I see. Well I'd guess 24.6 more likley refers to the past event but of course i can't say for sure it being your reading your gut feeling counts for alot :D I'm thinking the 36 3.4. and 5 to 17 is actually about how the initial non response from you affected him.

Asking of your best approach Yi said you have left it too late - when you asked for more information about why its too late you got 36 to 17 - so its too late not because of your fault but because this man is hurt in some way (36) and won't come forward again easily - as you have found out - maybe hes especially sensitive to anything he perceives as rejection. I could be wrong of course, thats just an idea.

I'm not sure how to take your initial 34 inchanging but it does advise not taking any step that is out of the usual/correct way of doing things.

Initially you made the point that a grown man should be able to ask again and maybe the readings reflect this man is too easily hurt if he backs off so completely - maybe this kind of man won't suit you anyway (actually I'd lose patience with it too ;) ) I don't know. On reflection the 24.6 could well be saying it is too late - you missed your chance - but then again if he can't ask again even when encouraged he can't have much stamina/intent so maybe your're not missing much (thats me not the Yi BTW)

Of course if you are now really interested no need to give up - maybe ask about the situation again after a while
 

shefa

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The latest here has been more mini-dates and good connections, and I checked in with yi about our status and got 1.5.6 > 34, which means that 34 is still there but now as background with the creativity up front.

I asked about my best approach at this point and got 43.6 > 1 and there seems to be contracdictory info about that line. I think it means in part to be a warning that I should speak out to the Gods, claim what I want, yes? Does it mean to pray? To talk with him? Surely it is not a line that is telling me to BE evil but how to avoid evilness? Please offer your thoughts on this line. It has me confused!
 

willowfox

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Hex 43.6 > 1 you have won a battle but not the war, so don't give up now, don't relax thinking that everything is going according to plan, there is so much more that you have to achieve before victory can be proclaimed.
 

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