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Newbie with questions

chase

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Hello,
I am very new to the world of I Ching. I just recently started throwing my own coins and trying to interpret my readings. I have read the lessons from the free I Ching course offered by Hillary and they really helped me along, but alas I still have many questions. I seem to have toubles with who the hexagram is talking about when I am asking about myself and another person. I'm never certain who the "subject" is. Is it me or the other person in the question? This may seem like a really simplistic question to some, but remember I am very new to this
.
To give a little background on the situation, I am a single mom. I have been single for more than a year now with no real interest in dating. I have a wonderful son, a great family and dear friends that fill my heart. In late April I met a man at work. From the first time I saw him I got this strong feeling that he was going to be a part of my life in a romantic way. Two months later we went on a few dates and clicked immediately. Shortly after that he stopped it and explained that his heart is very messed up and that he still harboured feelings for another and felt it would be very unfair to both of us to get deeply involved. I appreciated his honesty and while a little hurt, wasn't too much worse for wear. Well, as weeks go by there is still this "thing" with us. I describe it as Friendship Plus. A month or so later he tells me that he and his ex are going to give it another try. Okay. That was 4 months ago. We have this very intense friendhsip. There is a lot of emotional attachment on both sides. He has said often that he cares deeply about me and I've said the same. It has not moved beyond that and he is still with his girlfriend. I have never experienced somethig like this before and I am always perplexed by what it is exactly that we have. There always seems to be this unspoken "stuff" between us that I can't easily sort out.
So a week ago I asked the I Ching "what is happenig withe me and X" I got 5 unchanging. Which I believe speaks of waiting, not merely hoping but the inner certainty of reaching a goal. Fate comes when it will. Weakness and impatience can do nothing. I assume in this insatnce I am the subject. It kind of made the hairs on my neck stand up, because I have this feeling deep down that this is not over with us. That in time it will be "our time". But perhaps I am reading into it what I wish to see?
A few days later i asked "Is there a chance that X and I will be together?" I got 64.2.6 > 16 My troubles come when trying to decipher who the subjec is. Is it me or X?
I fear this is already a long-winded post. Any insight for the newbie would be most welcome!

Much thanks in advance
Chase
 

jte

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Hi Chase

I think that is truly an excellent question. I wish I had an equally excellent answer for it, but I don't.

The Yi's answers can vary quite a bit - moving lines can represent different people (you and/or others), but sometimes multiple moving lines represent a single individual, and sometimes people aren't directly in the answer at all - instead circumstances, perspectives, or information is given.

I've been using the Yi for quite some time and for me disentangling that aspect of answers is definitely an art not a science. It's probably one of the hardest parts of interpretation. I wish I had effective ways to be more certain of "what part of the answer applies to who" - it would make my use of the oracle's answers more effective (at least in my opinion it would).

In my view, you just have to contemplate the answer thoroughly and with an open mind, trying to see past your own wishes and biases. This helps, but never guarantees that you'll get it right. Maybe in it's own way that's part of what the Yi teaches.

Sorry that's the best I can give ya; hoping someone else will chime in with some useful techniques for this...

And welcome to Clarity. :)

- Jeff
 

chase

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Thanks for the welcome Jeff.
I have this need for my reading to make sense, so I think I instinctively apply the parts that make sense to the appropriate subject. For instance I get the overall message of "waiting" often. Not rushing things, perserverance pays, it will happen in time, etc. Those I apply to me, since I can indeed be impatient.
I'd be interested to see how others would interpret the answers I received above.

Chase
 
J

jeanystar

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Hello CHase, welcome.
I think hex 5 speaks for itself in this case. A calculated wait-and-see attitude on your part, and perhaps his, while nothing in particular is moving at the presnt time.
64.2.6 is a little more ambiguous...In general, hex 64 speaks to me about a situation in which there is more to be seen, understood. It is very much like the hex 5, actually..in that it could involve waiting and accumulating energy. I dont see it as a definitive oracle for the future in either direction.
I tend to agree with Jeff...it is only by absorbing and "being with" your response at a heart level that one can fully understand who/what it is pointing to.
All the best to you. Jeannie
 

chase

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Thanks Jeannie. I agree with you on 5. We worked closely in the same building until 2 weeks ago when he was relocated to another building (same city) for a time. When he was told he was moving he let me know and he called it "bad news". He asked me if we could go for a walk at lunch before he left. I complied. Our talk was a bit confusing. He apologized for making things a bit nuts with us sometimes. His thoughts seemed to be a bit scattered. At one point he said he doesn't really know what he wants. He thought maybe "she" (current girlfriend) wasn't what he wanted but he just wasn't sure. He also said that I "give up too easy" then he quickly added "I don't know why I just said that". He admitted that he is terrified of having his heart crushed again as it was a couple of years ago by a woman he was engaged to. In the end nothing was really resolved at all as it usually goes with us. I think 5 is saying that forcing things will not progress anything. That things will happen in the time they are meant to.

This morning I asked again "what is happening with me and X" and received 35.1.2.5.6 > 58 All these changing lines make me dizzy!! This is where I struggle some too because I'm never really sure how to apply them all.
I then asked "will x and I be together again?" and received 43 unchanging. It mentions inferior people gradually begining to disappear. Who is the inferior? Me? Him? His girlfriend? The situation we're in? Perhaps my problem is that i try to make things to literal.

I sense I have much to learn.

Thank you
Chase
 

stuart

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I think you readings suggest moving forward but being prepared for problems.I think you may eventually end up, with the help of others ,with what you wish.There is a warning of excess in drinking;maybe you will have to be careful if you go on any future dates.Overall it seems when relationships are the questions; we tend to ask too many times at first.Allow this situation to gradually reveal itself. I think its a matter of timing and waiting untill you can influence.
 

chase

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Thank you Stuart. I was thinking much along the same lines. The drinking thing is a tad odd only because I very rarely drink.
Thankfully I tend to be a patient person by nature. Also, I just have this sort of calming feeling about it most of the time. It's kind of strange really. I have yet to get what I would consider a "negative" answer when I ask about us, but then again I am still learning so maybe I did but I missed it.
 

dobro p

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Chase - hi.

When you're working with the Yi, it's really useful to think of it as addressing *you*, if you're asking the question for yourself and not somebody else. It's also really useful to keep the main idea of the hexagram you draw in mind as the context or setting of the question you asked. So yeah, 'waiting' is the obvious context of the response to your first question. Hex 5 is really positive too.

And the main idea of Hex 64 is 'not yet'. So in answer to your question about you and him getting together, the main response is 'not yet'. Which means it's a possibility in the future, and not only that, but the two lines you drew are really positive.

There's no guarantee here that the relationship is going to come together and stabilize, but it's a really positive situation for you, despite how you're feeling.

Again and again, I see how life and the Yi aren't primarily concerned with what we want and how we feel. There's more important stuff going on.
 

chase

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Thank you too Dobro!
It's nice to see that my own interpretations were not far off the mark.
I must admit that I am at a bit of a loss as what to do with our situation for the time being. We communicate often via e-mail, perhaps I should pull back a little? Maybe another question for the Yi. I'll have to work on wording it. Another challenge of mine.

I'm pleased to have found this place!
 

dobro p

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The Yi doesn't tell you how to run your life; it doesn't make your decisions for you. It supports you and positions you. But you still have to take your chances, with no guarantees.
 

chase

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Life with guarantees sure would be boring wouldn't it?
 

julie

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This advice crops up over and over on this board, to different people, but I think it's important to repeate it again: it's much more useful to ask Yi questions about things that you can control rather than asking about outcomes. Ask, for example, about a course of action, or how you should think about something, or how you might approach it. Then the question of whether the Yi is describing you or him vanishes. And, ultimately, since all you can control is your own actions, nothing else really matters anyway.

Julie
 

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