Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
Hello,
I've been a lurker in these forums for at least 15 years ever since I learned about the I-Ching and sought to understand it a little bit better. For many years, it helped me get a better understanding on how the readings can be read and interpreted through the lenses of other people's experience. While I do have the habit of consulting it from time to time and take the time to meditate on the lines, hexagrams and their relationships, having a good enough grasp on their meaning, I do confess to find it harder when I consult the I-Ching during times of intense worry or crisis. During these times, only after the worst has passed is when I'm able to return to those readings and have a clearer grasp on their meaning and their relationship with the context I was consulting from. In hindsight (and with a lot of help from other posters within this community), I have to say that all readings were spot on, even during times when the lines told me to just try and relax, wait, be prudent, as though I was hearing a friendly advice not to get worked up by small things; even when I couldn't really fathom those issues, doubts and projects that were failing to actually be small or unimportant.
Anyway, not to be overly long in my introduction, I guess the times when I most consulted the I-Ching were periods of intense transition, heartbreak and doubt. While not as stark as other moments in my life, career-wise or relationship-wise, I found myself turning back to the I-Ching to find the best way to handle my current crossroad. And, although I do have a better grasp on the meaning of the lines, the hexagrams and their change patterns, I find myself insecure as to their meaning and to which actions take (or not take). Over the past 10 days, I have been engaging in what seems to be kind of a conversation and, try as I might, I still feel that some answers are either elusive in their actual meaning, or that I'm just projecting my desires into the answers and not grasping their actual meaning, therefore not really listening to their advice.
It began on December 29th, after a girlfriend broke up with me. We'd been together for 3 years, although she moved out after a promotion at work in 2022, we were trying to maintain a long distance relationship until I got a job there or she could try a transfer back. During the 1 and a half years we were apart, we visited each other often to try and shorten the distance between us.(context: I live in Brazil, and she moved to Brasília, 1,000 km from where I live). I currently work in a community center as a mental health professional and have a small practice, which took me several years to build a stable roster of clients. When she got promoted, we had a long talk about what to do, and decided we would try the long distance relationship until either of us got a new job (me) or managed to be transferred back (her); we also talked about that I'd search for a good job, which could take time, but it was a necessity since the cost of living in that hellhole meant that the cost of living there would dwarf my current earnings by quite a bit.
Being the nation's capital and due to my career as a mental health professional, we decided that the best way would be to try and get work on the public sector, which is no mean feat. In Brazil, by law (and necessity), to get into the public sector you must take a very hard test for whatever position opens up; during this period, there were two such opportunities, which I didn't pass (there were like at least 5,000 people applying for 6 opens spots at one time, and the tests are incredibly hard, consisting in 80 questions, an essay, and then other phases that last for months). I also tried openings on the private sector, but was informed by several people that without an 'in', it's nearly impossible to even get considered for any given position. Still, I tried, but this period of time took it's toll and I felt her becoming more and more distant, and I felt like resentment towards me grew. We ended up breaking up after a series of discussions where all this resentment she'd been storing (basically thinking that I really didn't want to make this move, which I was completely wrong, although I've always been honest about not really liking that city) and have been apart since. I turned to the I-Ching for advice because for the past three years the relationship (I really believed we'd get married, she did, too) acted as a guide for my career and living arrangements. When we met, I was not as financially comfortable as I am now mainly due to the pandemic and the disastrous policies enacted by the previous government, so I was (and right now, still am) living with my mother. The idea was to move in with her, and living with my mother allowed me to purchase tickets to meet her as frequently as I could, while also helping with stuff at home, but my salary and the money earned from my practice would not allow me to rent a place on my own and still have money for anything else, really.
After the breakup, it all changed. While my current job is not an ideal job, I've been applying for others in the public sector, which are very hard to get (as I said, many people for very few openings, and there's this test for any and all openings) in my home state (which, honestly, is something I really enjoy doing, more so than private practice), and began considering moving out, since right now I believe I could pay for a place of my own with my current earnings, even if it means that I might not be able to make a lot of savings, basically living paycheck to paycheck. While reconsidering my options, and since it's still very recent, I also asked for some advice on what to do... I miss her, and I thought we belonged together. She even admitted it: it was the time apart that did it, and she didn't want to have to deal with that. Ever since then, I've consulted the I-Ching four times:
1. What's your advice on my decision of moving out? 1.1.3.5 to 64
My take on the answer feels like a step-by-step approach to moving out: don't rush, it will take lots of work because of your limited budget, so look carefully. There's potential there. But what gets me is hexagram 64, mainly the fox getting its tail wet; perhaps a warning not to do it, or wait for an increase in income (which may or may not happen)? I'm not sure.
2. What do I need to know about my career in the near future? 17.3.5 to 55
It felt like a very reassuring reading. It seems to me it's saying that not only I am in the right track, applying for these other positions, but that it's in harmony with the times, that I should follow my instincts. I took 17.3 to have several layers here, in the sense of maturing (moving out of my mother's house), but also that in order to achieve my aim, I'd also have to mature (though, honestly, I'm kind of stumped at what aspects that I'm stilling clinging to the boy).
3. What must I do in regard to (my ex)? 41.2 to 27
Honestly, it seems quite straightforward. Don't do anything (in the sense that we broke up because she thought that she was distant because I still couldn't get a good position, or any, for that matter, that would allow us to be together). I took it to mean that my changing my life projects solely on being with her was a servile attitude, since it was her project to move there so her career would flourish, but mine would wither, that the relationship that revolved only around her needs was not nourishing and I should nourish myself, and that's not a mistake.
4. What is the chance of us getting back together? 13.4 to 37
Realistically, I know it's a slim to none chance; we're 1,000 km apart, and the relationship on her end was already very worn down. But I do still have feelings for her (and I think will remain for a long time, I honestly thought she was the love of my life), so I just had to ask. On one hand, it also seems that way in the reading, in the sense there's walls that separate us. I've always found this line particularly difficult to interpret; I've seen others interpreting that the gates should be open, therefore ending separation, but the commentary (Wilhelm) suggests just the opposite, that good fortune consists in being separated. More confusing is the commentary, which states:
Here the reconciliation that follows quarrel mover nearer. It is true that there
are still dividing walls on which we stand confronting one another.
But the difficulties are too great. We get into straits, and this brings us to our senses.
We cannot fight, and therein lies our good fortune.
I really don't want to allow wishful thinking to cloud my judgment, because reality is what it is. Though I think I got a good grasp at the interpretations, I still feel that I'm getting in my own way (with my doubts, fears and really wanting to be with her again, in spite of the actual distance and time apart). I apologize for the long, long text, but for every question there is need of context, as they are interwoven together. Thank you.
I've been a lurker in these forums for at least 15 years ever since I learned about the I-Ching and sought to understand it a little bit better. For many years, it helped me get a better understanding on how the readings can be read and interpreted through the lenses of other people's experience. While I do have the habit of consulting it from time to time and take the time to meditate on the lines, hexagrams and their relationships, having a good enough grasp on their meaning, I do confess to find it harder when I consult the I-Ching during times of intense worry or crisis. During these times, only after the worst has passed is when I'm able to return to those readings and have a clearer grasp on their meaning and their relationship with the context I was consulting from. In hindsight (and with a lot of help from other posters within this community), I have to say that all readings were spot on, even during times when the lines told me to just try and relax, wait, be prudent, as though I was hearing a friendly advice not to get worked up by small things; even when I couldn't really fathom those issues, doubts and projects that were failing to actually be small or unimportant.
Anyway, not to be overly long in my introduction, I guess the times when I most consulted the I-Ching were periods of intense transition, heartbreak and doubt. While not as stark as other moments in my life, career-wise or relationship-wise, I found myself turning back to the I-Ching to find the best way to handle my current crossroad. And, although I do have a better grasp on the meaning of the lines, the hexagrams and their change patterns, I find myself insecure as to their meaning and to which actions take (or not take). Over the past 10 days, I have been engaging in what seems to be kind of a conversation and, try as I might, I still feel that some answers are either elusive in their actual meaning, or that I'm just projecting my desires into the answers and not grasping their actual meaning, therefore not really listening to their advice.
It began on December 29th, after a girlfriend broke up with me. We'd been together for 3 years, although she moved out after a promotion at work in 2022, we were trying to maintain a long distance relationship until I got a job there or she could try a transfer back. During the 1 and a half years we were apart, we visited each other often to try and shorten the distance between us.(context: I live in Brazil, and she moved to Brasília, 1,000 km from where I live). I currently work in a community center as a mental health professional and have a small practice, which took me several years to build a stable roster of clients. When she got promoted, we had a long talk about what to do, and decided we would try the long distance relationship until either of us got a new job (me) or managed to be transferred back (her); we also talked about that I'd search for a good job, which could take time, but it was a necessity since the cost of living in that hellhole meant that the cost of living there would dwarf my current earnings by quite a bit.
Being the nation's capital and due to my career as a mental health professional, we decided that the best way would be to try and get work on the public sector, which is no mean feat. In Brazil, by law (and necessity), to get into the public sector you must take a very hard test for whatever position opens up; during this period, there were two such opportunities, which I didn't pass (there were like at least 5,000 people applying for 6 opens spots at one time, and the tests are incredibly hard, consisting in 80 questions, an essay, and then other phases that last for months). I also tried openings on the private sector, but was informed by several people that without an 'in', it's nearly impossible to even get considered for any given position. Still, I tried, but this period of time took it's toll and I felt her becoming more and more distant, and I felt like resentment towards me grew. We ended up breaking up after a series of discussions where all this resentment she'd been storing (basically thinking that I really didn't want to make this move, which I was completely wrong, although I've always been honest about not really liking that city) and have been apart since. I turned to the I-Ching for advice because for the past three years the relationship (I really believed we'd get married, she did, too) acted as a guide for my career and living arrangements. When we met, I was not as financially comfortable as I am now mainly due to the pandemic and the disastrous policies enacted by the previous government, so I was (and right now, still am) living with my mother. The idea was to move in with her, and living with my mother allowed me to purchase tickets to meet her as frequently as I could, while also helping with stuff at home, but my salary and the money earned from my practice would not allow me to rent a place on my own and still have money for anything else, really.
After the breakup, it all changed. While my current job is not an ideal job, I've been applying for others in the public sector, which are very hard to get (as I said, many people for very few openings, and there's this test for any and all openings) in my home state (which, honestly, is something I really enjoy doing, more so than private practice), and began considering moving out, since right now I believe I could pay for a place of my own with my current earnings, even if it means that I might not be able to make a lot of savings, basically living paycheck to paycheck. While reconsidering my options, and since it's still very recent, I also asked for some advice on what to do... I miss her, and I thought we belonged together. She even admitted it: it was the time apart that did it, and she didn't want to have to deal with that. Ever since then, I've consulted the I-Ching four times:
1. What's your advice on my decision of moving out? 1.1.3.5 to 64
My take on the answer feels like a step-by-step approach to moving out: don't rush, it will take lots of work because of your limited budget, so look carefully. There's potential there. But what gets me is hexagram 64, mainly the fox getting its tail wet; perhaps a warning not to do it, or wait for an increase in income (which may or may not happen)? I'm not sure.
2. What do I need to know about my career in the near future? 17.3.5 to 55
It felt like a very reassuring reading. It seems to me it's saying that not only I am in the right track, applying for these other positions, but that it's in harmony with the times, that I should follow my instincts. I took 17.3 to have several layers here, in the sense of maturing (moving out of my mother's house), but also that in order to achieve my aim, I'd also have to mature (though, honestly, I'm kind of stumped at what aspects that I'm stilling clinging to the boy).
3. What must I do in regard to (my ex)? 41.2 to 27
Honestly, it seems quite straightforward. Don't do anything (in the sense that we broke up because she thought that she was distant because I still couldn't get a good position, or any, for that matter, that would allow us to be together). I took it to mean that my changing my life projects solely on being with her was a servile attitude, since it was her project to move there so her career would flourish, but mine would wither, that the relationship that revolved only around her needs was not nourishing and I should nourish myself, and that's not a mistake.
4. What is the chance of us getting back together? 13.4 to 37
Realistically, I know it's a slim to none chance; we're 1,000 km apart, and the relationship on her end was already very worn down. But I do still have feelings for her (and I think will remain for a long time, I honestly thought she was the love of my life), so I just had to ask. On one hand, it also seems that way in the reading, in the sense there's walls that separate us. I've always found this line particularly difficult to interpret; I've seen others interpreting that the gates should be open, therefore ending separation, but the commentary (Wilhelm) suggests just the opposite, that good fortune consists in being separated. More confusing is the commentary, which states:
Here the reconciliation that follows quarrel mover nearer. It is true that there
are still dividing walls on which we stand confronting one another.
But the difficulties are too great. We get into straits, and this brings us to our senses.
We cannot fight, and therein lies our good fortune.
I really don't want to allow wishful thinking to cloud my judgment, because reality is what it is. Though I think I got a good grasp at the interpretations, I still feel that I'm getting in my own way (with my doubts, fears and really wanting to be with her again, in spite of the actual distance and time apart). I apologize for the long, long text, but for every question there is need of context, as they are interwoven together. Thank you.
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