ongoing school fee saga 39.3.4.>45

[goddessliss]

Good morning,
I have a highly emotional issue regarding my son's school fees.
When he started at the school I was married and my husband and I made the decision to send our son to the school as my husband had been given family money of $200,000.00 and he had a very well paid job.
About 2 years ago our marriage ended and there has been continual contention about the school fees.
I have 100% responsbility of our son. His father became involved with a woman and they decided to travel. He gives me no financial assistance at all and rings our son every couple of weeks. He does pay half the school fees and deems it my responsbility to pay the other half.
When we were married we made the decision that I would be a stay at home mum as his work/career kept him away from home more than 12 hours a day. At different times I had casual work but really gained no concrete skills and at 50 am finding it difficult to get into the workforce.
I do have a casual job but the money from that is only allowing me to keep me and my sons head 'above water'.
To travel my husband left his job and has gone through all the money he had apparently leaving him with no income at all and his partner is supporting him through her family money. My exhusband and partner are in their 40's.
I recently received an invoice for half of last years school fees which was quite a shock and I am now also deemed responsible for paying my half of the fees for the next two years until my son finishes school. Even though my exhusbands father said he would pay for my half of the school fees -for his grandson - my exhusband said no.

I am finding this quite a distressing situation as is my son.

I asked Yi - Show me a picture of me being free of paying any school fees

Hexagram 39.3.4>45

Why did he knock back his fathers offer

Hexagram 56.2>50
Is this saying by him paying his half it makes him look 'good' in his sons eyes and he hopes it will makes me look bad??
thku
Melissa x

 

[pocossin]

Show me a picture of me being free of paying any school fees
39.3.4>45

Nine in the third place means:
Going leads to obstructions;
Hence he comes back.

This suggests that commitments and agreements made in the past may have to be undone.

Six in the fourth place means:
Going leads to obstructions,
Coming leads to union.

Don't go on your own. Get others with you first.

The situation is not clear to me, but apparently your son's grandfather is paying your half of the school fee and your ex nothing. If you son is still a minor, then legally the child's father should be paying at least child support. How is he escaping this? The grandfather should be told the facts and probably you need legal advice.

 

[goddessliss]

Thankyou pocossin - my original post must read a bit confusing to others - shows the distress I am feeling I guess.

And you are right I am looking at undoing a unsecured agreement before it becomes locked in.

To clear the confusion - my son's father is legally bound to paying child support but does not pay it, however it is becoming an accumlated debt for him and he will have to pay eventually, but that does not help me at this time.

The grandfather offered to pay for the school fees but for some unknown reason to me, the childs father knocked back the offer, so at this point noone is paying 'my half'.

Six in the fourth place means:
Going leads to obstructions,
Coming leads to union.

Don't go on your own. Get others with you first.

I am not sure here who 'the others' can/will be - unless the grandfather overrides his sons knock back of his assistance and supports me by paying my half, thereby in the bigger picture giving his grandson the wonderful gift of education.

have a lovely day - Melissa

 

[wck6265]

There are 2 clear patterns emerging from all your postings.

The first one is a glaring negative karmic effect that has been distorting your life so far. Negative karmic effect is a mistake that you keep making whenever you are facing with the same cause.

In this case, it is your intense emotional response to an excitement. The cause is the excitement and the effect is your emotional instability. You must have repeated this mistake many times over; as your emotional instability has manifested itself as a volatile environment around you.

Volatility fluctuates sharply and regularly: a perfect yin-yang setting. If this perspective is correct, that will explain the second pattern: repeating urges and opportunities to get you to develop a yin-yang vision quickly. The yin-yang vision is your surviving tool in a volatile environment.

It also reveals the hidden cause of your emotional instability. You have an inherent ability to connect to anything around you on energy level. Unfortunately, the connection is always done on an emotional level; triggering off an emotional discharge rather than a spiritual connection. Perhaps it is the years of practice in appreciating music that help you to develop this spiritual ability.

To hold a yin-yang vision, you must be emotionally detached from your target. The focus is on the result generated from the interaction rather than the interaction itself. It is very much like the way you detach yourself in order to appreciate a piece of music. The detachment will automatically give you the yin-yang version of your target.

The meeting with the yin-yang musician was a trial run for your new-found skill. The meeting led to an emotional release rather than an outburst, which was not a bad result for the first run. However it was still only half of what you could get. The other half should be a spiritual insight of him that produces the music that attracted you in the first place. In other words, a complete version of him is an emotional-spiritual combination.

The meeting was only a rehearsal preparing you for the big day: the meeting of your ex-husband to sort out all the emotional tangles. The time has come to bring everybody back on a stable ground. The opportunity is disguised as a fee issue- the yin component; the yang is a chance for a long overdue peaceful ending for everybody.

 

[wck6265]

A Yin-Yang Solution

It is no coincidence that you are presently confronting a yin-yang situation: a Yes from your ex-father-in-law and a No from him. You hit the nail on its head by wanting to know the reason for his No. The solution lies in the Yes component of his No answer.

Your reading of the reason for his No is still an emotional view. The reason is manifested in: you=0; and son=1/2.

Zero means that your link with him is already cut off. The 1/2 means that his link with his son is not complete because of you. In other words, you have to turn the 0 and 1/2 into 1 before he will say Yes.

You have to reconnect to him in order to turn the 0 and 1/2 to 1. The connection must be on a spiritual level; instead of the usual emotional level. A spiritual connection is only possible if he is rooted and at peace with himself. His roots are obviously his son and a peaceful coexistence with you.

Finding out ways on how to get these done should be the main focus; all the other considerations, including your pride and all the rights and wrongs of the past, become secondary compare to the potential outcomes at the end of the finishing line.

It will take more than one meeting to secure the connection. But as long as you keep focusing on crossing the finishing line, you will have no problem getting all your prizes eventually.

In summary, his No-Yes means rootless-rooted.

If you can pull this one off, the prize is the fee plus a peaceful co-existence with the man you once loved. The biggest prize is completing the spiritual initiation and ready to move on to a more meaningful journey with your heavenly gift.

 

[goddessliss]

Thankyou once again wck6265 - absolutely everything you have said makes perfect sense to me.
Unfortunately it is not actually my emotional attatchment but his, I believe is causing this grief. The way I see things is that we broke up for very good reasons despite the devastating heartbreak it caused. I would talk to him but he is rootless due to his alcohol and drug depenedency and his partner is the same so there is no point in even trying to have a civilised conversation with them, so to bring everyone back on stable ground not sure how that could happen, however in all honesty my son and I are getting there and we actually sometimes laugh our heads off at what we consider very weird behaviour from my exhusband.
My son actually said last night 'its not dad I think is weird, it's his behaviour" and I have said that all along, the relationship didn't break up because we didn't love each other it was his behaviour that me and my children were not prepared to live with anymore.
The payment of the school fees is not for me but for our son and I think that the exfather in law gets that which is why he has offered to pay them.

Interestingly enough you have picked up on the relativity of my connection to the musician and how it fits intothis thread.
So tonight I went to see another artist play and who should turn up but 'my musician' who I did not expect to see at all as I knew he was away playing at a festival. If I knew he mite be there I probably would not have gone and it was only a chain of events that led me to go out tonight unexpectedly.

In my mind I thought he had come into my life for a good lesson(even though I had never even talked to him or met him properly face to face) and I had recognised and learnt from this lesson and that was then end of any connection with him and I was fine and comfortable with that.
So we tonight we actually did talk to each other and.....well from my point of view there is certainly an attraction there for me so I asked Yi -
Show me a picture of he and I together romantically Hex 46.1.2>36 - I did not get the impression he was interested in me in this way at all but I also know(guilty of it myself) that one can pretend otherwise.
I am only interested in becoming romantically involved with someone if it is going to be a healthy relationship - so this has thrown me a curved ball as I see so much 'wrong' in becoming romantically involved with this man despite my attraction to him.

thks and many blessings Melissa x

 

[chingching]

the last yi reading you did on the musician did say you'd see him again!!!!!..... ... ...

You have a lot going on for you at the moment. I'm only here quickly so I'll just say the only way to deal with people using money situation to wield emotional power is to be totally magnanimous and not to respond to them with emotions.

I feel out of my depth with your situation, but I still feel for you, I hope you can find those other people of 39.4 whether they be associated with the school or perhaps government, who knows.

 

[goddessliss]

Thks for your support chingching I appreciate it very much.
Ah, the money situation - it's a funny thing cause I don't care too much for money for this exact reason - people using to replace whats going on for them emotionally.

the last yi reading you did on the musician did say you'd see him again!!!!!..... ... ...

Yep it did I just went back and read it and how I had said although there would be no reason for us to meet I will see what the universe brings..........so I guess last nights meeting was definitely a universal thing as there is no way I was expecting to see him.....haha I love it!!

On thinking on it overnight after reading wck6265's awesome words especially 'It also reveals the hidden cause of your emotional instability. You have an inherent ability to connect to anything around you on energy level. Unfortunately, the connection is always done on an emotional level; triggering off an emotional discharge rather than a spiritual connection.'

And this is so true and now so obvious to me I gotta work on this and change it straight away.

thks again to everyone who has given me support x

 

[goddessliss]

Please forget the romantic question, as wck6265 has quite wisely pointed out it is just really
- my intense emotional response to an excitement -.
Reality is I would love to be in a relationship and I don't want anything less than someone who really gets me spiritually - so when I felt this 'connection' with the musician I thought maybe this was it.
I know I have to calm down in a big way. Damn! but good learning! x

 

[chingching]

cant forget it now that you said to forget it.

do you think 36 has come up because of how much this musician annoys you, you want to keep your light hidden , or because of how you've been hurt in your last marriage?

46.1.2 is saying go for it without restricting yourself and maybe bake a cake
It furthers one to bring even a small offering.

would it be so bad to enjoy this for what it is without it turning into something major. then it still could turn into something else, the future isn't known.

with the last reading on this musician too I get the sense of you needing to keep yourself, to stay self possessed. But other than that.... go.

 

[goddessliss]

Small offering. Bake a cake.....What about a bottle of red wine to share instead!

Yes chingching you are right and I now believe this is the lesson - I have to learn to maintain my equilibrium when I have a connection with someone and not allow my emotions to get the better of me. A perpetual meditation on the Base chakra might just do the trick. Blah!

I think I hide my light probably because of the hurt mainly and I am somewhat shy despite being able to share things on this forum.
I lost a lot of confidence in my marriage and with my breakup and now just seem to be getting Me back - only better.

Thks chingching have lots of fun Melissa x