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rosada

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Don't Even Ask

I Ching questions we never want to hear...

1. Jumbo the elephant found success as a model because when it came to holding a pose he was so good at what?

answer: 52.4
Keeping his trunk still.;)

2. What happens to the Denver Bronco's mascot when the moon is nearly full?

answer: 61.4
The moon nearly at the full.
The team horse goes astray.:deadhorse:

3. A yellow cow should be wrapped in what?

answer: 49.1
Wrapped in the hide of a yellow cow.:rolleyes:

These answers are based on the Wilhelm translation. Other versions may not appear to make sense.
 
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rosada

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4.What happens if you get tricked into buying fake designer jeans?

Answer: 63.4
The finest clothes turn to rags.
Be careful all day long.:rant:

5. Why did Shy Sally meet such confidence in her Maiden Form Bra?

Answer: 46.1
Pushing upward meet with confidence
Brings great good fortune.:flirt:

6. What advice did John Kennedy Jr.'s mother give that discouraged him from a career in the theatre?

Answer: 1.1
Hidden dragon. Do not act.:hug:

7. Does a melon covered with willow stay?

Answer: 44.5
A melon covered with willow leaves.:cool:
 
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mudpie

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Does 26.6 ever mean that 'all hell's gonna break loose' ?

Does 17.5 ever mean "be careful what you wish for..." ?

Does 50.6 ever mean 'oh boy, your goose is cooked now' ?

just wondering.
 

rosada

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Glad you liked 'em, Bruce and a hearty 51.1 to you, Listener!

Not for the faint of heart..

When Heidi finally decided she was fed up with the alps, she took her pet for a little hike. Why?

Answer: 34.5
Loses the goat with ease.
No remorse. :eek:

Is Big Bird a good candidate for sky diving?

Answer: 62.1
The bird meets with misfortune through flying.:eek:uch:

Bruce invites Martin to form a band. Describe their act.

Answer: 61.3
Now he beats the drum, now he stops.
Now he sobs, now he sings.:hugs:

Uh-oh, Little Chela is pleading his case. If he gets one more ticket for running a red light he'll lose his license. What does the judge say?

Answer: 30.2
Yellow light. Supreme good fortune.:flirt:
 
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rosada

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The More The Merrier

Why does the Botox Doc feel demand for his services will increase?

Answer: 55.5
Lines are coming.:freak:

Is a "jolly fat man" really content?

Answer: 58.4
Joyousness that is weighed is not at peace.:p

What happened when Narcissus tried to kiss his reflection?

Answer: 63.6
He gets his head in the water.:D

Is it worth waiting for Bogart to finally pass it over?

Answer: 19.1
Joint approach.
Perseverance brings good fortune.:)
 
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B

bruce_g

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lol, lines are coming.

You really should consider a career as a yijing stand up comedian! Good material.
 
B

bruce_g

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Martin and I may have an opening act position available for our upcoming summer tour. :)
 

martin

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61.3? How shall we call our band then?
The Extremely Moody Blues? :D
 

rosada

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Groan is right...

Whatever, I'm delighted to be invited. I haven't felt this poplar in years. 28.5

28.5
A withered poplar puts forth flowers.
An older woman takes a husband.:hug:

----
P.S.
Every time Mickey Mouse threatens to quit, what happens?

Answer: 9.2
He allows himself to be drawn into returning.:confused:
 
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heylise

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Answered to a page ago... and it lands here of course. Hm. Have to get used to the new software
LiSe
 

rosada

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Good one, LiSe, The Beaters indeed! Hey, and what about the additional advice in 8.5? Could this mean, "The audience has been warned"?

Bruce, your St.Peter joke was just so gentle and nice...I almost hesitate to post my next one... almost...

Why has Dr. Frankinstein been unable to complete his latest creation?
8.6
He finds no head for holding together.:brickwall:

How can you tell when you've eaten too many won-tons?
31.3
The influence shows itself in the thighs.:blush:
 
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rosada

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Proof Tiger Woods was destined for greatness - on the easier fairways at least.
10.2
Treading a smooth level course.
The perseverance of a dark man
Brings good fortune.:)

What does the I Ching think of dieters leaving the table before dessert?
60.5
Sweet limitation brings good fortune.
Going brings esteem.:footinmouth:
 
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rosada

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This just in..

New coach helps Hare win rematch! Results strongly contested!
Read all about it: 41.5:

Someone does indeed increase him.
Ten pairs of tortoises cannot oppose it.:lalala:
 
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rosada

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What no undertaker can do without.
14.2
A big wagon for loading.
One may undertake something.:weep:

What keeps naughty children from stealing Santa's toys?
2.4
A tied-up sack.

Scorning help or just wanting to show off that delightful new toe ring?
22.1
He lends grace to his toes, leaves the carriage,
and walks.:D
 
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rosada

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The vampire Lestat always knew to leave a party early, but he had to learn not to drink so much blood.
41.1
Going quickly when one's tasks are finished
Is without blame.
But one must reflect on how much one may decrease
others.:eek:

If someone cuts you off in traffic, is it permissible to honk?
35.6
Making progress with the horns is permissible.:eek:

What happens if it rains on Super Bowl Sunday?
32.4
No game in the field.

If you come to a sudden stop and get rear ended by a Sparklettes delivery truck, is it your fault?
63.1
He breaks his wheels.
He gets his tail in the water.
No blame.:)

A week before filming the big scene the stunt double quit. What did the director tell Charlton Heston to do?
26.3
Practice chariot driving and armed defense daily.:mischief:

Which restaurant gives has the happier chef, Sam's Steak House or The Sushi Bar next door?
63.5
The neighbor on the east who slaughters an ox
Does not attain as much real happiness
As the neighbor in the west
With his small offering.

Why did the judge tell Mr. Dumpty he had no case, that the accident was his own fault?!
13.4
He climbs up on the wall.:hissy:

If this joke didn't make sense, wait a week because....
63.2
On the seventh day you will get it.:p

Well, I'm going to be away from a computer for awhile now. Thank you for reading these jokes, I sure had fun writing them.
59.3
He dissolves his self. No remorse.:)

P.S. Don't try to find me.
58.5
Sincerity toward disintegrating influences is dangerous.:freak:
 
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rosada

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I hope no one minds if I reactivate this thread, though I know it can be risky.

24.3
Repeated return. Danger.:eek:
 
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Liselle

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This thread is like an episode of Match Game. :rofl:
 

rosada

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While we're resurrecting old threads I thought I'd reactivate this one again.
 

Liselle

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It is hilarious! I myself am 48.1* when it comes to this sort of cleverness, but if you have any more, I'd be delighted to hear them :biggrin:


* a dried-up well devoid of life
 

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