Overcoming Uncontrollable Anxiety: Hexagram 31 Unchanging

[arabella]

A close friend has suffered for a few years now from an irrational fear of flying any distance on an airplane. She flew with me to Eastern Europe about three years ago and managed it but, since then, her panic has gotten much worse. It's very likely she'll need to take a transatlantic flight later this year and I simply can't see how she'll manage. Nor can I think what will happen if she can't do it -- there is really little alternative.

I asked the Yi: Can X overcome her anxiety about flying in time to accompany me?
The casting was Hexagram 31 Unchanging.

In this context, might it mean that someone she trusts could convince her? As it's illogical and appeared out of nowhere I can't imagine somebody could just talk her out of it.

Other readings on Hexagram 31 fated?

 

[bamboo]

she'll have to go "under the Influence" ......lots of people I know drink alcohol and phase out during the flight. Some use ambien.

One little known substance which is helpful, and is also not a mind-changing drug, is a beta blocker. A beta blocker is often used for high blood pressure or heart murmurs, but it is also used for stage fright. It prevents the body from having all the symptoms of anxiety, prevents panic, alleviates shaky sweaty hands, trembles, dry mouth.......usually anxiety feeds on itself via the mounting of physical symptoms, so the beta blocker literally blocks all these physical symptoms. In your mind, you can still think its scary but you don't panic at all, the body stays calm. This was recommended for fear of flying in a book by two health-nutrition experts, and the best thing about it was that it actually can cure the fear of flying (or public speaking or performing) because the body 'learns' not to react to the particular stimuli ( such as flying), and after a few times the drug is not needed. Of course a doctor has to okay it for any particular person since it lowers blood pressure.

I used to have a horrible fear of public speaking and the symptoms were awful...trembly lip, the mind going blank, shaking......then a musician friend told me about the beta blocker and I couldn't believe how it solved my problem!

I know the name of one, which I wont say, but I can tell you in PM if you want. Its a prescription drug, but doctors do know about its use for anxiety.

 

[arabella]

she'll have to go "under the Influence" ......lots of people I know drink alcohol and phase out during the flight. Some use ambien.

One little known substance which is helpful, and is also not a mind-changing drug, is a beta blocker. A beta blocker is often used for high blood pressure or heart murmurs, but it is also used for stage fright. It prevents the body from having all the symptoms of anxiety, prevents panic, alleviates shaky sweaty hands, trembles, dry mouth.......usually anxiety feeds on itself via the mounting of physical symptoms, so the beta blocker literally blocks all these physical symptoms. In your mind, you can still think its scary but you don't panic at all, the body stays calm. This was recommended for fear of flying in a book by two health-nutrition experts, and the best thing about it was that it actually can cure the fear of flying (or public speaking or performing) because the body 'learns' not to react to the particular stimuli ( such as flying), and after a few times the drug is not needed. Of course a doctor has to okay it for any particular person since it lowers blood pressure.

I used to have a horrible fear of public speaking and the symptoms were awful...trembly lip, the mind going blank, shaking......then a musician friend told me about the beta blocker and I couldn't believe how it solved my problem!

I know the name of one, which I wont say, but I can tell you in PM if you want. Its a prescription drug, but doctors do know about its use for anxiety.

Thanks Bamboo, if you'd PM me that's great. She did get something this summer for a flight back from France and i don't know what it was but she said it was like she was terrified and just couldn't scream. So she felt terrible, got sick, and the emotion still scared her to death, but she couldn't react. She said it was like being buried alive. I think that was some kind of tranquiliser -- but I'm not sure.

 

[beyond_the_veil]

Hi Arabella,

If I could offer a suggestion for your friend, have them look up Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) online. It is absolutely free and there have been a lot of success stories concerning people overcoming phobias with this technique. I use it whenever I start to get anxious or mad and it helps calm me down. As a matter of fact, I used it to help open up my sinuses just before getting on the boards here. I won't claim it as a magic bullet, but for what it has done for people of all stripes with varying issues is absolutely amazing.

 

[arabella]

Hi Arabella,

If I could offer a suggestion for your friend, have them look up Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) online. It is absolutely free and there have been a lot of success stories concerning people overcoming phobias with this technique. I use it whenever I start to get anxious or mad and it helps calm me down. As a matter of fact, I used it to help open up my sinuses just before getting on the boards here. I won't claim it as a magic bullet, but for what it has done for people of all stripes with varying issues is absolutely amazing.

Thanks BTV -- I have practised EFT for a number of years now, so I know exactly what you mean. I've got great faith in it of course. My experience is mostly with myself and family and I could certainly try it -- or find someone who does it professionally. But, so far, she hasn't agreed to try, thinking this is an emotional problem that requires fundamental psychological treatment. So she went for that first, but the initial treatment made no difference on this problem at all. Now she's with a second psychologist and hoping for the best. It seems to me that this could take a LONG time in the way she's going about it and, as you say, I may suggest EFT again for this issue or it may be years before she can fly again.

My own experience with anxiety from some years back tells me that if you solve one anxiety problem, then the fear may go hide somewhere else. So to fix what's at the base is really important if you want to kill if off once and for all. But I think a good EFT practitioner can achieve even that. You just have to convince the patient!

 

[sooo]

When I think of 31 in the context of anxiety, I think of the effect of a lullaby.

 

[sooo]

fwiw...

"Lullabies were incantations to ward off evil spirits that would harm children.

The origin of the term “lullaby” comes from the words “Lilith abi” which means “Lilith, go away.” In some versions of Jewish folklore Lilith was considered a succubus, a female demon, who seduced men in their sleep. When she bore children from her nighttime sexual encounters, she killed them.

From this, people believed that Lilith was responsible for the unexplained sudden death of babies (what we currently call “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome”). To prevent this “Lilith abi” was written on the amulets surrounding the baby's crib to prevent Lilith or other evil spirits from taking babies away.

Even aside from the mystical origin, singing a child to sleep has been a practice from ancient times and examples are found all over the world. Magical or not, calming a crying child to sleep has been the domain of mothers everywhere since the beginning of time. And according to some mothers, the true purpose of a lullaby is so that the mother can get some needed rest as well."

 

[arabella]

fwiw...

"Lullabies were incantations to ward off evil spirits that would harm children.

The origin of the term “lullaby” comes from the words “Lilith abi” which means “Lilith, go away.” In some versions of Jewish folklore Lilith was considered a succubus, a female demon, who seduced men in their sleep. When she bore children from her nighttime sexual encounters, she killed them.

From this, people believed that Lilith was responsible for the unexplained sudden death of babies (what we currently call “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome”). To prevent this “Lilith abi” was written on the amulets surrounding the baby's crib to prevent Lilith or other evil spirits from taking babies away.

Even aside from the mystical origin, singing a child to sleep has been a practice from ancient times and examples are found all over the world. Magical or not, calming a crying child to sleep has been the domain of mothers everywhere since the beginning of time. And according to some mothers, the true purpose of a lullaby is so that the mother can get some needed rest as well."

Really interesting connection for Hexagram 31 unchanging. I can imagine this being "influence" or "affection" in a very soothing way. But have to think just what that implies in the situation.

The immediate idea that comes to mind for me is my second child, my son, who started having "night terrors" when he was not quite two years old. He hadn't wanted to be born in the first place during an "induced" labour, being at least three weeks late, and then apparently resisting the induction until he was in some distress and a caesarean birth was the only answer. He insisted most of his infancy on being held, which I was happy to oblige . When he was five months old, he stopped breathing in his sleep, vomited and inhaled the vomit. I found him in his crib, a deep blue colour, and by some stroke of amazing luck, managed to revive him and meanwhile called an ambulance. He was on a respiration monitor until aged 18 months. Then he began night terrors when he fell into a deep sleep and couldn't get awake again. For some reason he was just panicked at that stage. I tried cuddling him and he just screamed louder, tried giving him a warm bath to soothe him and he kept right on screaming. A child with night terrors screams with a deep-seated horror and flails in a way that is very distinct -- nothing like normal vigorous crying. They are inconsolable and obviously terrified. During one of these attacks, he seemed to lose his reflexes and I called an ambulance to rush him to hospital, where he eventually woke up and was deemed fit to go home. Very frustrating that we could find nothing really wrong. I thought hard about what had meant so much to him in the womb and began holding him on my lap when I played the piano. He'd actually fall off to sleep after awhile, leaning against me. I realised I sang all the time and had sung all during the pregnancy with him of course. And, almost invariably I sang him to sleep in infancy. One night he started screaming and flailing I got him as calm as I could and then wrapped him in a large fuzzy blanket to contain the lashing about, sat in the rocking chair and began singing to him. He was quiet and deep asleep again within minutes -- and the night terrors never happened again. No idea why that is so, but this was the result. So, your idea is very close to home Soooo.

Maybe our anxieties are all some form of inexplicable "terror" that needs soothing and the relaxation that comes with being held and sung to, especially if you were used to that in the womb? I wonder if you can hold an adult and sing to them on an airplane? Or when and under what conditions this theory could be applied? I'm willing to try anything to get this woman's freedom back. She is stuck on this island and, unless she wants to take the ferry -- can't enjoy much of her life at this point, which is sad for all of us.

 

[cris]

she'll have to go "under the Influence"

Lovely interpretation

 

[anemos]

I asked the Yi: Can X overcome her anxiety about flying in time to accompany me?
The casting was Hexagram 31 Unchanging.

I got this hex just before starting doing my assignment. I ask Yi "give me something to hold on" Hex 31 said Yi

The stillness of Mountain is what the ups and down Of Tui could embrace and keep her under His influence. Its something like Bamboo describes, something I had to learn to do without medication. You need to choose what to follow.

It is believed that direct exposure to the object of phobia could solve the problem. somehow she has "learn" to be afraid of it. She can "learn" not to be afraid.

 

[anemos]

what amaze me is that one can see bits of your question in both trigrams.

 

[sooo]

Thank you for sharing that intense experience, Arabella.

As for how it might apply, it might be as simple as an MP3 player and some of her favorite relaxing music, or possibly an inspiring and comforting speaker or teacher or story teller - something which is music to her soul. Also, amethyst has a soothing effect, as can certain essential oils. If you plan on taking the trip with her, just your presence may be the influence to calm her, and one can never discount the value of touch.

 

[Tohpol]

A good hypnotherapist? Seems to work a treat for phobias so I've heard.

 

[beyond_the_veil]

My own experience with anxiety from some years back tells me that if you solve one anxiety problem, then the fear may go hide somewhere else. So to fix what's at the base is really important if you want to kill if off once and for all. But I think a good EFT practitioner can achieve even that. You just have to convince the patient!

Yes, this is true. Gary Craig explains this as aspects - those little contributors to the big problem. I was just watching an EFT Home Video Course last night and he reiterated the need to deal with these aspects when they come up. One encouraging fact concerning this is, even though one may have many aspects (roots) contributing to the main problem (the tree), by cutting off the few bigger roots the other smaller ones die. Suppose the smaller ones do not die, I believe that they will have been minimized to such a degree that they will be more manageable to deal with. But I will assume to understand your concern, in that, being in a position willing to help, one does not wish to be forceful in the application of ones tools upon the other out of respect for freewill.

 

[sooo]

I've no knowledge of EFT but I agree with getting to the root. However, sometimes that can be exposed through just a simple word, and can then appear as being so obvious, you wonder why you haven't known it all along.

For a couple of months I've had reoccurring nightmares. I'm talking real Stephen King type stuff, full with speculation of a heavy plot of curses, demonic, or at least a deeply rooted psychological trauma. Then, while discussing it with a friend in email, the word "drama" jumped out from my computer screen in GREAT BIG LETTERS. The answer immediately unraveled before my mind. The other person in these nightmares was a drama junkie, whom I'd lived with for 32 years. Now for 12 years I've lived alone, as drama free as possible. Evidently, some part of my brain was missing drama due to boredom or ascetic living, and so materialized this person in extremely dramatic fashion, intensifying to the point that I was waking full of terror and angst, and unreasonably fearful of falling asleep again. That single word, drama, brought it all to my frontal lobe, into the light where I could easily trace it to the cause of those horrible dreams. The nightmares immediately ceased, replaced by pleasant dreams which presented gentle puzzles to solve or to just go along for the ride, or flight, as the case might be.

 

[anemos]

Arabella,

I have being thinking that 31 describes a good counselor and they way that counselor receives, as read at Wilhelm, make me wonder that If this fear is an unconscious/ suppressed one maybe Art therapy might help your friend.

 

[arabella]

Arabella,

I have being thinking that 31 describes a good counselor and they way that counselor receives, as read at Wilhelm, make me wonder that If this fear is an unconscious/ suppressed one maybe Art therapy might help your friend.

Interesting that you say this -- she is an artist, that's her profession, and she has been advised to paint every day now by a person who was doing counseling with her, but couldn't crack through whatever anxiety has created this problem. Maybe that was intended as a kind of therapeutic activity as she'd all but given it up on having her first child. From what I know though, Art therapy requires some guidance -- not just instructions to go paint on your own.

I also heard of a programme -- the only one in the world I think, through Virgin Atlantic, that helps people with this phobia and is highly successful. Anyway, I'm going to present things said on here to her and see if anything sounds helpful. Thanks Anemos!

 

[anemos]

thats interesting.

yes art therapy requires and Art therapist counselor. Not sure if i can find info but i can ask the help of my peers in a FB group if they can recommend any sources... just in case.

Without going into details... this story has touched me a lot. And I know that change Its a 2.2 thing.

let me know if you need more details about Art therapy in UK. Not sure if I can find much but there is a big pool of people there so maybe someone knows something.

 

[arabella]

I've no knowledge of EFT but I agree with getting to the root. However, sometimes that can be exposed through just a simple word, and can then appear as being so obvious, you wonder why you haven't known it all along.

For a couple of months I've had reoccurring nightmares. I'm talking real Stephen King type stuff, full with speculation of a heavy plot of curses, demonic, or at least a deeply rooted psychological trauma. Then, while discussing it with a friend in email, the word "drama" jumped out from my computer screen in GREAT BIG LETTERS. The answer immediately unraveled before my mind. The other person in these nightmares was a drama junkie, whom I'd lived with for 32 years. Now for 12 years I've lived alone, as drama free as possible. Evidently, some part of my brain was missing drama due to boredom or ascetic living, and so materialized this person in extremely dramatic fashion, intensifying to the point that I was waking full of terror and angst, and unreasonably fearful of falling asleep again. That single word, drama, brought it all to my frontal lobe, into the light where I could easily trace it to the cause of those horrible dreams. The nightmares immediately ceased, replaced by pleasant dreams which presented gentle puzzles to solve or to just go along for the ride, or flight, as the case might be.

I do think it's often that simple and almost "flip of a switch." Just finding the right switch is the issue -- and this is potentially a needle in a haystack time. I know she's also a bit discouraged having done the counseling thing and gotten no relief. At the moment she just seems motivated to run the other way and never board an airplane, so I feel that I have to offer something that is nearly "fool proof" to gain her interest, which makes it a bit complicated.

I think she put her anxiety into this area because she rarely take a plane -- so it's not in her mind that debilitating. But now, suddenly, there are opportunities to go places and she's faced with how limited her life has been made by the "decision" to focus her anxiety in fear of flying.

 

[dancing white ferret]

In the most simplistic terms, anxiety is a fear of the unknown and a feeling that one does dot have sufficient control. I use to have a lot of anxiety, and would even suffer from the occassional panic attack. Has your friend suffered any long term stress in their life? I think this is usually what leads to these kinds of phobias. In my case that has been true, and from what I've read. I was vary fearful of flying for years, and it resolved itself after flying a few times under the influence. I like this idea of hypnotherapy that Topal proposed. I think it is most likely to get to the root of the problem. There are also many herbs that can support a relaxed mood, and might work well with hypnotherapy. And they do not cause the side effects that alcohol or prescriptions might. I know a bunch, but I think a good herbalist would be your best bet. And I'm thinking starting this now well before the flight approaches. Especially if your friend has suffered long term stress in the past. Sometimes a good long period to decompress is the foundation needed to nip these kinds of things in the bud. A time to be as relaxed as possible for an extended period, and to liberally use whatever herb or prescription or whatever else. Short but intensely relaxed time. A month or two even. It is hard to even remember what one was so worked up about after a long break. And definitely like the hypnosis idea. Best wishes and happy travels.

 

[anemos]

I know she's also a bit discouraged having done the counseling thing and gotten no relief. .

A mountain with a lake on its summit is stimulated by the moisture from
the lake. It has this advantage because its summit does not jut out as a peak
but is sunken. The image counsels that the mind should be kept humble and
free, so that it may remain receptive to good advice. People soon give up
counseling a man who thinks that he knows everything better than anyone
else.

p.s.I know it sounds crazy , but I "saw" her painting, after reading your initial post.

 

[arabella]

p.s.I know it sounds crazy , but I "saw" her painting, after reading your initial post.

Wow, incredible. And your other quote about the hexagram is accurate as well. The pscychologist I recommended initially for this would have made rapid headway. She spoke to him, but put up immediate barriers that she said were "non-negotiable" and he refused to go any further with her. The she went with a different counselor who saw her over six months and was a very nice person, but not experienced enough for the full range of what she needs. Now she is attempting to re-establish her case with the man I recommended. But he is VERY busy and can't see her right away. So things are stalled and we may need to go abroad in the next several months.

She has always been a strong individual and this anxiety seems to have started when she married. Which is weird because her marriage seems so happy! I'm hoping she will get with the other counselor very soon. But in the meanwhile, seems like some of these other ideas are well worth taking up as well.