Please help-7,2 to 2 and 11,3 to 19.

[yellowknife]

Hi,

I've posted a couple of times re. this relationship-and the situation does keep changing.
I now would really appreciate help with this reading.

A couple of months ago splitting and dispersion came up in a reading I posted- but due to other big changes in my life, lots of old emotional stuff is being stripped away from me and I feel it may have referred to that.

Myself and this man nearly started a relationship in March- then we decided not to (he's married, unhappily but has been trying to resolve it) and he cut off from me angrily. We've crossed paths several times since because of our work (poetry)...but not talked about emotional issues.

I asked the best way for me to go re. the relationship;

7,2 to 2.

(Both 7 and 2 have come up regularly in connection with this...to act or not to act though?. It's funny about the triple decoration because I didn't know he was a judge in a competition I entered recently and the entries were anonymous, but I was highly commended in it)

I also asked what would happen between us....

11,3 to 19.

Because it looks like we will in the future have a working relationship of some sort, I asked what the nature of our relationship would be and got;

31, 2,4,5 changing to 46.

That seems a romantic relationship..or just wishful thinking?

Any feedback greatly appreciated.

 

[dobro p]

"I asked the best way for me to go re. the relationship;

7,2 to 2.

(Both 7 and 2 have come up regularly in connection with this...to act or not to act though?"

Act. But it's the *way* you act that the Yi's talking about. In this case, it's telling you to be at the center of your own force, but to delegate authority. So: be in control, be at the center, be strong, use helpers.

Throw a party for the guy. Get help putting the party together. Get the local radio station to dedicate a love song from you to him. Get him into a serious conversation and tell him directly how you feel. Have somebody deliver a bouquet of flowers to him during the conversation. I dunno. Use your imagination.

"I also asked what would happen between us....

11,3 to 19.

"I asked what the nature of our relationship would be and got 31, 2,4,5 changing to 46."

This sounds like two versions of the same question to me. 11.3 talks about a balance of pleasant and unpleasant elements ('there's no sunshine without rain' kinda thing) but you're to take this in. 31.2.4.5 talks about various types of stimulating influence: stuff's moving in different directions, the situation's unsettled - if you could just settle down a bit, calm down a bit, you'd have a better time of it. Both of the responses to these questions seem to speak of mixed influences, ups and downs, an unsettled time.

 

[dobro p]

"I asked the best way for me to go re. the relationship;

7,2 to 2."

I've just had a thought. Maybe the Yi's telling you to take charge of the relationship. You know, very often, one person in a relationship is the dominant personality. Maybe you're it.

 

[dobro p]

I'm not talking about dominating and manipulating, either. I'm talking about taking charge, taking responsibility for guidance and strength and direction.

 

[jte]

"Because it looks like we will in the future have a working relationship of some sort, I asked what the nature of our relationship would be and got; 31, 2,4,5 changing to 46. That seems a romantic relationship..or just wishful thinking?"

Hrmm. That is really a tricky ambiguity, Wolv - it may be metaphorical in pertaining to a platonic "business" relationship (I've definitely received 31 in that context before). But it just might be suggesting more than that, too, esp. given your interest.

Taking a hint from Demitra's recent posting on another thread, might this be a good situation for a couple of carefully-worded follow up questions to clarify?

- Jeff

 

[yellowknife]

Thanks for your comments Dobro and Jeff.

Taking responsibility in the relationship is a scary thought-I'm scared of rejection and the Poet's life is pretty complicated at the moment I think. I suppose I have been acting ongoingly-by trying to be in the right place-and to remind him (subtly) of our affinity. Very subtly when I think about it.

I've been trying to think of the right careful wording-
this question is probably not so subtle but I asked
"will we be together?"

and got 38 1,5,6 to 47.

In one way encouraging- but obviously talking about big obstacles....
and there are. He's bi polar and trying to sort his life out and there's an age gap and he wouldn't want his children to feel abandoned in any way and...
I could go on.

I asked how he feels about me and got
38, 3,5 changing to 1.

A message hammered home I think...but seeming to imply I should not act, but wait?

 

[dobro p]

Okay, I gave you my interpretation regarding what you drew in response to your first question, and the Yi was telling you to act, IMHO.

Now, you're asking yet more questions and thinking it seems to imply that you 'should not act, but wait'.

My impression is that you're muddying the water by asking too many questions and by not acting on the responses you're getting from the Yi. Are you finding your way through this issue by asking all these questions, or are you just exercising your uncertainty and indecisiveness?

 

[jte]

"will we be together? 38 1,5,6 to 47.
I asked how he feels about me and got 38, 3,5 changing to 1.
In one way encouraging- but obviously talking about big obstacles.... "

Yes, so you'd have to overcome those issues to "make the relationship happen."

It's *possible* hence the 38.6.
(But *all things are possible* - it's possible you could buy a winning lottery ticket tomorrow (do you have those in England?) if you just go to exactly the right place at the right time and get a computer-generated ticket. But of course us mere humans don't know the universe in that kind of exact detail, do we? Oh well...)

Is it *worth the trouble* - well, that's for you to decide, of course...

If you decide yes, what you're not getting from the Yi is all the details/nuances of exactly what to do "make it happen." I think that you have to rely on your own innate abilities for that - it would be too detailed for Yi to walk you through it, no? (Although you might ask questions at a few critical junctures...)

You're getting "waiting" from the 38.1, correct? But does that line represent you, or him? Who keeps coming back? (I don't know, I'm suggesting you ask yourself this...)

I think that if you want to "make it happen" then you should proceed in the way that makes sense to you: if waiting makes sense now, then wait, if acting makes sense, act. After all, you've been through the whole "game of love" thing a few times, no? And if you try to have the Yi walk you through the process in TOO much detail, most likely nothing would flow naturally anyway due to overthinking.

Make sense? ;-)

Hope so (really) and best of luck!

- Jeff

 

[yellowknife]

Good points indeed both, thanks.

I woke up just now with a feeling of "wrongness" about the process of having over asked.

I also can't act at this precise moment, as he's not in the country or contactable for several days...so I was being impatient.

I've talked about his obstacles in this-
but what about mine?
Fear of rejection
Mistrust
Strong independence

They're what I should be looking at too....

 

[yellowknife]

and I wasn't meaning to ignore your good advice Dobro...7,2 indeed seeming to give good suggestions about a mode to act from.

But I was also following Jeff's advice about asking a couple of carefully worded follow up questions.

I think my follow up questions were not so much carefully worded though, as just asking the same thing again in different words...

 

[dobro p]

Yup.

 

[seeker]

Well, I was gone for the weekend, so I am joinging this a bit late, but boy can I sympathize. So, I will offer some thoughts based on my own recent, similar experiences as well as your readings.

First, I see a couple of themes here. One is not to impose your will. That doesn't necessarily mean not to act, just perhaps not to be too pushy. I also see obstacles, ups and downs, but I think that some of them may be created by you. You keep waffling, you get an answer from Yi, but don't accept, mostly because you are terrified of making the wrong move (again, I can definately relate), so you keep asking more questions, often the same question in different words. The only question you really needed to ask was what action should I take regarding X, then trust Yi to steer you in the right direction. I think because you are not getting a definate green light, everything is going to be wonderful type answer, you are holding back. What I see is that this relationship has potential, but it is not going to be easy. The fact that he is still married may also create some of those obstacles. It is not going to be smooth sailing, but you will have to ride it out, if he is what you want.

Which brings up one more thing I saw in your readings. You need to decide if he is really what you want. If he is, go for it, but be prepared for some rough spots. If you are holding back because you are not sure if its worth it, well, MHO, love is always worth it. My motto in life, the only moments I regret are the chances I didn't take. Good luck.

 

[yellowknife]

Hi Seeker,

Thanks for your response and empathy.

You're right I'm terrified of making the wrong move. For a while after what blew up between us in March I think acting in any way would have been really unhelpful. Now I wonder if I'm being deluded to think that anything could happen between us. And I suppose I worry that if I don't do the right thing, at the right moment, in the right way I'll have blown it.

I absolutely think pursuing a relationship with him- if there is a possibility and I'm not in a deluded fantasy-is worth it. I feel more strongly than I have about anyone for many years (11 to be precise!). I'm not one for casual relationships or infatuations. It feels like a really strong emotional and mental connection flowered between us- and sent us both reeling.

I can't think of any obstacle to this relationship's development that would make me not want to be in it- apart from his feeling so threatened by what I represent that he rejects me. Which is what I fear provoking again most of all.

He was really angry with me in March. Ostensibly because of our argument about audiences for poetry. But that happened coincidentally just at the end of a conversation in which he'd agreed he needed to sort out his marriage one way or another and didn't want to have an affair in the meantime.

A couple of weeks later he still maintained he left the poetry group we were both in because of our disagreements about poetry audiences- and not because of what happened between us. I tried to let him know, in emails at the time, I'd always be there if he was ready- but might well have given mixed messages by being quite reticent when we bump into each other in person.

I think my main fear may be about disputed realities. i.e in his head he might be thinking that it's better that we don't get involved..and still convincing himself that he's angry with me. He sent a one line email back in March after I'd asked him not to pretend that nothing happened between us saying "I'm still wounded, let me heal". At the time I thought he must be referring to whatever was happening with his wife...now I wonder if he meant I'd wounded him..

I fear that if I were now to say "Did I hurt you..and how?", he'd deny it. I'd feel like I'd been deluded all along.

As I write this I see the theme;
Me wondering if what I'm seeing as reality actually is- and being scared of being confronted by someone else's version of it.
I grew up in a family with lots of secrets and disputed versions of reality- and never had to confront it head on really, because I left.

What if he were to shatter my illusions about us...or worse, what if he were to deny what I believe to be reality and leave me feeling helpless to dispute his version and then questioning my own ability to interpret the world. Like one of those nightmares where someone's left shouting without a voice...

I think I fear that as much as rejection. One of the things that drew me to him was his internal and external contradictions that he is only able to resolve, to an extent, in his poetry and humour. The same goes for me too. Being unable to speak to him properly about it carries the risk that the contradictions will stay concealed and unacknowledged. But so does speaking to him.

Sorry to go on. That's all there anyway to read or not to read.

Writing it's helped- and so have your responses. Still not sure how I'll act without being pushy- but I can see that fear is stopping me doing something-and I want to overcome it. Not just in this relationship- but in life.

 

[chan]

that sounds like a very intersting relationship wolve. i liked reading, esp about your family and secrets and you leaving.

the relationship and and the what ifs: "like one of those nightmares where someone's left shouting without a voice"

"Being unable to speak to him properly about it carries the risk that the contradictions will stay concealed and unacknowledged. But so does speaking to him."

The 31 2.4.5 --> 46 (from the start of the thread) is very promising. 7.2 could indicate that you are in the position of the mandate. Dobro's post at 1:13 Aug 05 seems correct (to me). Seems (to me) you are right on schedule with the 7, including your other casts, as muddied as they seemed at the time. Think you are just processing the 'commanding post', lol.

i think this relationship very well could happen, dont think it is wishful thinking.

 

[chan]

oh yeah,to me, the 31-->46 ; (the relationship will ascend): + the presence of the 38's and the 47, (and your histories), indicate this relationship is very creative. (lots of opposition or restrictions are potent prima materia) no matter what arrangement you finally come to.