Please help - new & would really appreciate it. xx

[nicky_p]

Hi

As mentioned I'm new - to the board and to I Ching really. I've recently been left by my boyfriend - long story - and spotted an I Ching book on my mum's boyfriend's bookshelf. I tried it once before in a time of need and it was so clear. Now I think I might have too many questions and too many options. I guess the question I would like to ask here is if you've asked how a couple of options might affect your relationship then how do you know which one to take. Nearly all have mixed sucess and danger apart from one which is unmoving. Does that mean I should take the option that is unmoving? (It's a sucess hexagram i think - 51 the arousing)

Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated thank you

Nicky
xx

 

[jesed]

Hi Nicky

Just in case the comment could be useful

Yi Jing goes from general aspects to concrete aspects. So, is helpfull start a session with a "General Diagnosis" question. In this case, General Diagnosis of the relationship.

When you have this clear, the next questions are clearest.

Anyway, 51 talks about confussion, fear, conmotion. Like being in the middle of an electrical storm. Only with great inner calm and concentration one can avoid be hurt.

You cann't take one hexagram as the best answer just because is unchanging. Only the complete interpretation of both answers can show you wich way is better.

Best wishes

 

[nicky_p]

Thank you Jesed.

I have asked what the future held for us and got back hexagram 18 with a 6 in the 5th line - moving to hexagram 57.

I should work on what is spoiled and persevere through small things I think. Not sure what has been spoiled - I guess that's a question I should ask.

I keep getting messages that tell me that perseverance furthers and that it would further to cross the great water - he's on his placement year in a different country. I already have a ticket booked to go out for Christmas but this was all done before we broke up.

Everything that I read on the internet about the particulars of our relationship point to the possibility of him suffering depression and I'm rather worried. I did ask how I could help and got back hexagram 10 with moving lines 9 in the 2nd and 6 in the 3rd - moving to 13 - crossing the water again.

The moving line in the 3rd suggests that I can't help outright as I'm suffering myself - this has all come as rather a shock.

I'm worried about the persaverance though as he asked me to let him go and I said that I would as I love him. Isn't that what they say - if you love them let them go?

Quite confused as to what to do. Sorry to go on.

Nicky
xx

 

[lightofdarkness]

The general-to-particular development is one that reflects the nature of your brain as it processes novel information. To get an idea about the context in which the issue applies, and so the possible outcomes - see

http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/lofting/icplusProact.html

It also allows for playing 'what if' etc.

Chris.

 

[lightofdarkness]

BTW - an alternative set of questions that you might find useful comes out of NLP work:

http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/lofting/icplusDilts.html

 

[frank]

Hi Nicky,

I feel sorry for the fact that you and your boyfriend are seperated now. With the hexagram 18 as an answer on your question what the future would hold for you both you have the opportunity to repair things ?spoiled? in the past. There must be a reason for the fact that you broke up. Hexagram 18 gives you the opportunity to look and work on a repair on that reason. So there is some hope left... Hexagram 57 as a follow-up gives the insite into the reason why it went ?wrong?, as wind is about ?penetration?, and wind doubled is about getting deeper into matter about a certain subject, in this case the reason for the breakup. Are you aware what the actual reason is? I think, by giving 18 > 57 as an answer, the Yi just gives you the opportunity to use the near future to sort that out first and work on it to repair it.

By reseving Hexagram 10 towards 13 on your question on what you can do for help on the ?suggested? depression of your boyfriend the Yi is telling you to slow down and take steps very carefully. Don?t step on things... The reason why he feels what he feels is very delicate and can not be underastimated. By getting 13 as a follow up the reason for the small steps is that you should react to him as you normaly would react towards people who are equal in behaviour. Perhaps in this there is also laying the reason for the breakup... Do not underastimate his feelings, be careful, act as you normaly would do in friendships or towards people in general, that?s to say, do not overwhelm but stay calm and friendly, and work on it, and things should go better...

I hope it does make some sense...

Hug.
Frank

 

[nicky_p]

Thank you all very much for your advice. I really appreciate it.

I have just rung my now ex boyfriend. I did ask how it would affect him if I offered him friendship and recieved the hexagram 55 with moving lines 6 in the 2nd, 9 in the 3rd, 9 in the 4th and 6 in the 6th moving to hexagram 41.

The reason for the break up is that he thinks that he is in love with somebody else. I asked about that as well (what has been spoiled) and recieved hexagram 8 with moving lines 6 in the 2nd and 6 in the 4th moving to 47. All I can do is be true to myself.

My tickets came through to go and see him today and I've asked him how he feels about if I came over. He thinks it would be lovely to see me but too soon and he wants to see how this other relationship will pan out as she has been away too and will return the day before I arrive. He does want to be my friend though.

I took you advice Frank, thank you, I was calm and friendly. I didn't try to push anything just tried to explain what and why I was feeling. It all seems such a shame: to waste 2 and a half good years that we've had and a waste of a ticket that is non refundable and non transferable - he wishes that I could change it for a couple of months down the line. I made no suggestion of the depression that I thought was the cause. He's suffered for a long time with it and some of it is drug related which I have tried to get him to stop. While he was here he did stop but now he is not he is free to do all of this and I do think it is bad for the mind and emotions - I struggled for years to kick my habit but am pleased to say that I did.

Part of me wonders whether I'm just boosting his ego or whether this is what is meant to be. I hope I've remained dignified. I do care about him a great deal and don't think I can go from all to nothing. Then again... I didn't think I could go from being lovers to friends but look at me trying to change that!!

Again thank you all

Nicky
xx