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Please help. Urgent 29.2.5.6>23

wind

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I am so upset about this, I can't even decipher the hexes.

Long story short, I am going through a nasty divorce with my cheating husband. I bad noticed my son and daughter have become withdrawn; more so at school and when having to visit their father. Their teacher brought to my attention just how bad my son has turned inward on himself. I am devastated that he is so miserable. We had just moved several hundred miles from all that we knew to "be a family" for him to just walk out four months later. There are too many extreme changes in these children's lives and they are severely affected. I had asked my estranged husband to come to school meeting and he said no. I came to find out he blew his child off to go on a trip with his girlfriend. He asked me what we were doing in two weekends from now. I asked why. He wants to take the kids that weekend over to where he lives with her.

I do not think that my children should be exposed to this tramp and add to their confusion and upset. i would certainly not bring any men around my children, especially while I am still married. I asked the Yi, "Will I be able to keep his girlfriend away from my kids until the divorce is finalized?"

please. I need your help with this reading!
 
G

goddessliss

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I am so upset about this, I can't even decipher the hexes.

Long story short, I am going through a nasty divorce with my cheating husband. I bad noticed my son and daughter have become withdrawn; more so at school and when having to visit their father. Their teacher brought to my attention just how bad my son has turned inward on himself. I am devastated that he is so miserable. We had just moved several hundred miles from all that we knew to "be a family" for him to just walk out four months later. There are too many extreme changes in these children's lives and they are severely affected. I had asked my estranged husband to come to school meeting and he said no. I came to find out he blew his child off to go on a trip with his girlfriend. He asked me what we were doing in two weekends from now. I asked why. He wants to take the kids that weekend over to where he lives with her.

I do not think that my children should be exposed to this tramp and add to their confusion and upset. i would certainly not bring any men around my children, especially while I am still married. I asked the Yi, "Will I be able to keep his girlfriend away from my kids until the divorce is finalized?"

please. I need your help with this reading!


HI wind,
I experienced something very similar to your situation. Please, please do not get caught up the vortex of the wrongs and rights nor bad mouth your husband or his gf in any way.
How you handle the situation is how your children handle it. The best you can do for your children is focus on them and your healing from this, not what your husband is doing or has done - it is not going to help you or your children.

If you want to ask questions ask something like - How will it benefit me to allow the children to spend time with my husband and his gf
How will it benefit me to discourage the contact

You cannot control what is going on and no matter how hard you try or what you want the kids will make up their own mind and allowing them to be exposed to what is going on in your husbands life, although you don't want to allow it, helps them with their own process of growing and healing from this.
- Liss
 

wind

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The kids know about the girlfriend and want nothing to do with her. Given what they are going through, I do not feel he is acting on their better interest by not considering what my children are going through. He is thinking about himself and his own wishes and not about the kids. It's not spite or jealousy. I'm just trying to protect my children. We have not even settled custody and I am considered the custodial parent until otherwise changed by the court.

Thank you Liss for answering. Any thoughts on what i added above?
 

long yi

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My feedback and analysis

Your six line analysis
起卦时间:2013年02月07日01时32分
神煞:天乙—丑未 福星—寅 日禄—寅 羊刃—卯 驿马—寅 桃花—酉 华盖—辰
干支:癸巳年 甲寅月 甲辰日 乙丑时
旬空:午未  子丑  寅卯  戌亥


六神  伏神    坎宫:坎为水(六冲)29     乾宫:山地剥 23
         【本 卦】           【变 卦】
玄武       ▅▅ ▅▅ 兄弟戊子水 世×→ ▅▅▅▅▅ 子孙丙寅木  
白虎       ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼戊戌土  ○→ ▅▅ ▅▅ 兄弟丙子水 世
滕蛇       ▅▅ ▅▅ 父母戊申金     ▅▅ ▅▅ 官鬼丙戌土  
勾陈       ▅▅ ▅▅ 妻财戊午火 应   ▅▅ ▅▅ 子孙乙卯木  
朱雀       ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼戊辰土  ○→ ▅▅ ▅▅ 妻财乙巳火 应
青龙       ▅▅ ▅▅ 子孙戊寅木     ▅▅ ▅▅ 官鬼乙未土 
Parameters
Year: si fire (wu fire, wei earth)
Month: yin wood (zi water, chou earth)
Day: chen earth (yin wood, mao wood)
Hour: chou earth (xu earth, hai water)

6. Murky Warrior (玄武, Xuan-wu).
5. White Tiger (白虎, Bai-hu),
4. Flying Serpent (螣蛇, Teng-she),
3. Curved Array (勾陳, Gou-chen),
2. Vermilion Bird (朱雀, Zhu-que),
1. Azure Dragon (青龍, Qing-long),

Hexagram 29
6. siblings zi water
5. officer xu earth*
4. parents shen metal
3. assets wu fire
2. officer chen earth*
1. child yin wood

Hexagram 23
6. child yin wood
5. sibling wei earth
4. officer xu earth
3. child mao wood
2. asset si fire
1. officer wei earth

1. Good kids – line 1 yin wood with Azure Dragon
2. Chen earth = father, yin wood = son sits empty under the day of the reading. There is no place for your son in your husband’s heart.

3. Line 2; husband moves to push out a female (si fire = you), but you keep him at the same spot.
4. Line 4, husband (xu earth) moves to another female (zi water). Someone he can control (earth controls water).

5. Line 4 are the parents. The parents are in confrontation over marriage. Parent (shen metal) Vs yin wood (house of spouse, month of the reading). Yin wood also = son. Dispute over the son.
6. Son appears at line 3 of hexagram 23 and line 6 of hexagram 23. Line 3 means that he is within you in the same house. He supports the mom in his heart) and the mom in fact still supports the dad, but the dad is not there (wei earth sits empty under the year). Year is si fire, the man is definitely not around after Aug 8 2013.

7. Line 3 wu fire (hexagram 29) may be you in your husband mind.
8. Line 6 is that you are thinking of the other love rival or the other girl (zi water).

9. Month; yin wood and zi water is empty. This means your son does not like the other female.
10. Line 6, the far away female moves to get your son.

11. Watch for the month of reading (see paragraph 9) – son does not like the other female. Watch for the day of the reading: (see paragraph 2), there is no place in the husband heart for the son.
12. Line 3 (you) and line 6 (his female) are in conflict. Actually , this conflict pushed the female to get your son.

13. Hexagram 23, better not to send the son on the journey to her.
14. 福星—寅 日禄—寅 yin wood is lucky star and career. Your son has both. He is a good and probably smart kid.

15. The adult are messed up in this picture as parents.
16. 驿马—寅 is the movement star fro yin wood, your son. He would like to run away from you and everyone. Watch out.

17. This is a tough call, but there is a solution. Send him away to live with someone else, away from both of you if you can, in safe hands.
18. This kid is OK and he knows the problem. It is the two female and one man adult causing all the problems involved. It is not his fault. Make sure that he does not run away from home.

19. You have to step up to the plate as parent. It is your call. Your son will listen to you.
20. 羊刃—卯 You son also shows as mao wood in line3 of hexagram 23. He can be stubborn.

21. Please spend some quality time with him.

22. Hexagram 23: Line 3 is son mao wood and line 4 is dad xu earth. There is a biological connection. One at the inner door (son) and one at the outer door (dad), you watch with no confidence (hr of reading chou earth with xu earth empty in your head (his dad is hopeless in your mind). Both father and son are yin lines. This means they have a connection, but really do not want to have anything to do with each other. It is like saying hi at the house door. Dad is outside and he is inside the door looking back where is his mom inside the house. His mom and the son are learning that the Dad is not in the house.

It is a sad story. For sake of a smart individual = son. Please do something.

Hexagram 23 carries the meaning Tarot Card Hanged man
It means letting go
having an emotional release
accepting what is
surrendering to experience
ending the struggle
being vulnerable and open
giving up control
accepting God's will

In readings, the Hanged Man reminds us that the best approach to a problem is not always the most obvious. When we most want to force our will on someone, that is when we should release. When we most want to have our own way, that is when we should sacrifice. When we most want to act, that is when we should wait. The irony is that by making these contradictory moves, we find what we are looking for.

Time to ask your son what he wants to do. Wait and do not act.
 

wind

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Liss: I am trying to prevent further pain to these children. My son is terribly upset and confused. I do not wish for it to be worth than it already is.

Long Yi: I have always admired what and how you do this. Thank you. I am a bit confused with a portion of the reading, although you described my son perfectly. What I couldn't agree with it is the closeness between he and I. I spend a lot of quality time with both of my children, together and separately- being they are twins. I make sure they have alone time with me as well.

I do not see where I am not a good parent. I am the only consistent factor in these kids lives. I devote myself to my kids and often have had to over compensate for what their father never did with them.

I am worried about this running away stuff. Whatever decisions they make, I go with. I am so against them sleeping over with his girlfriend because they have came to me and told me they do not want to.
 
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long yi

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In the above analysis, I do not know that you have twins.

Hexagram 29: line 1 & hexagram 23 line 6 - one son (yin wood) - smart one
Hexagram 23: line 3 (mao wood) the other son - a bit stubborn in character.
Both sons should get alone well.
The mao wood son is closer to you and support you.
He is also connected to the father xu earth.

The yin wood is the one on the move. He is upset because he feels push out.

Please do not misunderstand. The analysis did not report that you are not a good parent.

It is the situation that created chaos for the two children involved.

What I can tell from the lines is limited by the scope of the reading.

In life, there is also a solution. This yin wood child (boy) has potential. Please see to it that he has a good academic and career path. Even two boys are twins, it does not mean that their star are different because they birth time are not the same.

All the best in resolving the family issues. On the move star for the yin wood son may not mean bad things. Sometimes, opportunity knocks and he goes somewhere in life in 2013.
 

angelatlantis14

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I am so upset about this, I can't even decipher the hexes.
I asked the Yi, "Will I be able to keep his girlfriend away from my kids until the divorce is finalized?"

please. I need your help with this reading!

Hi wind,

sorry to hear about this nasty situation! I hope it will all work out in the end...
One thing I noted is the form of your question, which may not be ideal - you ask for an outcome, but might it not be better to ask for concrete advice like for example

"What can I do to keep harm away from my children, be it from their father/girlfriend or anything else?"

That way the question is not colored by a definite expectation, but encompasses all sources of harm you want to prevent from your children.
your initial reading does sound like there is cause for concern - there is danger (29) but it can be successfully survived by holding onto your heart. However, progress at this time is only small (line 2), but the situation will eventually come to a head (ine 5, the abysss is filled to the rim). As to your changing hex 23 I am unsure how to interpret that - it could be the general situation you are in (your family has been ripped apart). It may also be a prognosis that the father of the children will eventually fall out of the picture alltogether. Another possibility could be a bit similar to what Long Yi suggested - you may need to rip your family apart from their father and his circle, meaning to move away to another city. However, that is pretty speculative on my part. I don't have a really good grip on interpreting hex 23, except for wishing I'd got something else :)

best wishes to you and your children

maui
 

wind

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Oh Long Yi, you have nailed my children's personalities well. However, my twins are a girl and a boy. My daughter can be a real bull, so I can see where they both came up as males. I do realize which child has a great untapped potential. That child's modesty can humble him with his own limits. I have made great progress in getting him out of this. I can't thank you enough for your fabulous analyzing skills. It truly is an honor to have you take the time out and answer for me.

Maui, thank you as well. I realize this is the rough time and there can and will be happiness in our lives. I have been considering relocating, but I feel moving the kids once again might not be such a good idea right right now. I will take your advice and consult the Yi with a better formed question.

I also would like to thank Liss once again as well. Thank you for always answering me questions. I value your insight and the words of your experiences. :)
 

long yi

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Just to clarify, if it is one boy and one girl
Boy is the line 6 in hexagram 23 (yin wood, yang line, male wood, tiger), the one with the academic/career and luck star. He is further away from you.

Line 3 in hexagram 23 (mao wood, yin line, female wood, rabbit), the one with a slightly stubborn style and this person is very determined.

Line 3 is inside the inner hexagram, the one who is around you and supportive.

Since your reading does not provide what you may be looking for, this is what I can tell from running a simple tarot card reading. This information will help you in some way in the immediate future.

You and your son's relationship:
The card at the top left represents how you see yourself. Ten of Cups (Satiety), when reversed.
The card at the top right represents how you see you son. Three of Swords (Sorrow), when reversed.
The card in the center left represents how you feel about your son. The High Priestess.
The card in the center right represents what stands between you and your son. Four of Cups (Luxury), when reversed.
The card in the lower left represents how your son sees you. Eight of Wands (Swiftness)
The card in the lower right represents what your son feels about you. The Sun, when reversed.
The card in the center represents the present status or challenge of the relationship. Knight of Pentacles.

1. You know that your son is heart-broken ( 3 of swords) over the family situation.
2. Your son knows that you are you can handle the crisis and you are determined to do so. You are lonely and do not like the uncertainty.

The last card represents honor and duty, people that are trustworthy. This applies to your situation. Good News.

The card at the top left represents how you see yourself. Nine of Pentacles (Gain), when reversed.
The card at the top right represents how you see your daughter. Five of Cups (Disappointment).
The card in the center left represents how you feel about your daughter. Ten of Swords (Ruin), when reversed.
The card in the center right represents what stands between you and your daughter. The Emperor.
The card in the lower left represents how your daughter sees you. Queen of Cups, when reversed.
The card in the lower right represents what your daughter feels about you. The World, when reversed.
The card in the center represents the present status or challenge of the relationship. Four of Cups (Luxury), when reversed.

1. You feel that your daughter is heart-broken, unlike your son, she is ready to move on.
2. Your daughter feels that your life is upside down at the present moment, the father is a problem that you two do not want to talk about.

In both readings, there is a four of cup reversed card. This card shows the problem between you and your children. This is not a bad card. One of the good answer to this card is in this link: http://www.crystal-reflections.com/tarot2/rider/four_cr.htm

Briefly, you have to redirect your sadness and anger energy into useful plan to achieve real goals.

Concerning knights of pentacles, go to
http://tarot-theroyalroad.blogspot.ca/2011/07/knight-of-pentacles.html
and you will learn more about you son's potential (very positive) and also what you should do in this situation. I recommend you to understand the details of this card from the website.

In conclusion, you and your children are smart enough to solve the problem. There is nothing to worry about. Be cool and be proud that your children are your greatest assets. You cannot let them see your weakness, meaning your fears.

According to Nancy Garen's book, knight of cups mean "pretend that you have faith and faith will be given". You can expect a fresh start and a new level of experience in life. There will be positive changes.

:bows:
 
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wind

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My goodness, Long Yi. Your account of my children is dead on! They are exactly as you said. I am very close to both children and encourage them to do what makes them happy.

My girl is very stubborn, but her determination is second to none- she gained my strength in her personality. She is me to a T. She is quite mature, mentally, for her age. I always joked that she is an old soul that must have done something in her past life to be punished with showing a rookie (her twin brother, a brand new soul) the ropes in this life. She guides him gently... and sometimes not so gently.

My son, is very close to me as well. He is the more sensitive of the two. He takes everything to heart, even when the troubles are not of his own. He is my emotional side of my personality. I find this attribute to be somewhat ironic, as he had to have heart surgery when he was two to repair a hole. I know he longs for his father's attention and I also know he knows he will never get it. In turn, I am endlessly there for him. He knows I will forever protect and ease his pain. He is my silent schemer. Forever thinking without letting a single soul know what he has brewing. He has learned to let few people in. His sister, my mother and myself are the only ones he lets into his inner circle.

I have great hopes for both of them. I will watch for signs and promote whatever opportunity comes their way.

Thank you Long Yi for your insight. You are dead on!
 

Trojina

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FWIW I think Liss's words are worth hearing here....and she does know because she has been through it all herself.

I think the 29 is all about the emotional chasms you face at this difficult time. This is a really big challenge for you, it's painful ! It's like your security is being stripped away (23) amidst these repeated shocks of what he's going to do next to undermine you...

You said

I do not think that my children should be exposed to this tramp and add to their confusion and upset. i would certainly not bring any men around my children, especially while I am still married. I asked the Yi, "Will I be able to keep his girlfriend away from my kids until the divorce is finalized?"

you got 29.2.5.6>23......hmmm I think you have to be very courageous because this doesn't look like a challenge you can avoid (29.6) It doesn't seem you have too much control....so all you can control are your own emotions.

This is a difficult reading but the advice for 29 is to 'hold the heart fast' in other words 'hold the heart steady'....don't get swept away. i think if you can somehow rise above it by keeping calm and keeping the kids feelings firmly as your priority you can win through after a time. Thats why I thought Liss's words were useful.....it won't help you to be eaten up by anger for the 'tramp' though its perfectly understandable that you you feel this way....but if you let your kids see that it's harder for them in the end.

Liss said


HI wind,
I experienced something very similar to your situation. Please, please do not get caught up the vortex of the wrongs and rights nor bad mouth your husband or his gf in any way.
How you handle the situation is how your children handle it. The best you can do for your children is focus on them and your healing from this, not what your husband is doing or has done - it is not going to help you or your children.

If you want to ask questions ask something like - How will it benefit me to allow the children to spend time with my husband and his gf
How will it benefit me to discourage the contact

You cannot control what is going on and no matter how hard you try or what you want the kids will make up their own mind and allowing them to be exposed to what is going on in your husbands life, although you don't want to allow it, helps them with their own process of growing and healing from this.
- Liss


I think that sums up your answer.
 

Trojina

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ps is this thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=16491 about him and her (the tramp ?) if so it's probably not a helpful line of questioning for you though I can see why you want to ask it.

I think you have to see this as a really major life challenge and rise to it as best you can.

In the long run you are going to come out well if you can handle yourself now. I've seen Liss do that that's why I repeated her words
 
B

blue_angel

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As someone that has also been through this... although a little worse being as though my spouse actually had a child with the other person before our divorce. I agree with the help and advice Liss and Trojan are trying to give you. Your childrens feelings must be put before your own. How this can and will effect them depending on how you handle yourself. Find peace with it. I tried to help as much as possible on this when you first posted here. Although it was long, maybe read again. Look at all the advice and meditate. Take a warm bath. Light some candles. Find forgiveness. Move forward.
 

wind

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I could not agree with you or Liss more. She's brave, courageous and the voice of experience. I value all she says as she has been real helpful to me through this. I truly appreciate her. :)

Several developments have taken place since posting this. It does seem that I will be able to keep them away from his tramp until the divorce is finalized. It's immoral and not something they should be exposed to, especially if they themselves do not want any part of it.

Yes. That question was able them two. The behavior he has displayed suddenly is shifting. One's got to wonder what is going on. I'm not fooled.


Thanks Trojan. I hope that I did not come off as offensive to anyone. Nothing can make this mom wilder than hurting my babies. I nearly lost them at birth and I almost lost my son a second time when he had open heart surgery at 2. I hate this situation completely. I have done nothing wrong and everything, including my mothering is going under the microscope for a bunch of strangers to examine and complete this "business transaction".
 

wind

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Yes, Blue Angel. I do remember it and of course I appreciate it as well. The reason I am so concerned is because of the children's feelings. I do not speak of the divorce in front of them, but I do answer their questions and I do remind them that he is their father, no matter what. I wouldn't be this excited if they weren't so upset about it.
 
B

blue_angel

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As you stated previously you forgave him and his girlfriend. Maybe work on that a little. When you truly forgive, she will no longer be a 'tramp'. I understand you are angry, and you have a right to your feelings and beliefs. But maybe after some time has passed, healing has taken place, and forgiveness you might see things differently. I hope you take care. For the the good of the children, hopefully you can all come together with agreements. Especially if this is a woman that ends up in your husbands life long term. Is anyone really trying to hurt your babies as you say?
 

wind

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I really have no issue with the girl. Honestly. If he could lie and turn his back on his wife and family, what makes anyone think he hasn't lied to her? I have forgiven him for myself and I certainly would be fine with the situation if he hasn't deliberately gone out of his way to hurt the kids. This is just one of many instances that he has pulled recently with them. This one is the one that has gotten under my skin the most though. The other things he's done to them have been terrible, from a mother's point of view, but were less noticeable by the children or situations where I could simply be there and lessen the blow.

Inner peace for myself would be lovely. He wants whatever it is that he looking for- go get it. I have never denied him anything he wanted in our marriage. But, go get it and move on. Quit punishing the kids and I as if we did something wrong.
 
B

blue_angel

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Maybe try the questions Liss posted above. See how you can work with the situation. I was not aware your husband had deliberately tried to hurt the children. I can understand your need to protect them as a mother and for the extra concern now.

Its great that you are working on forgiveness and that you realize it is for yourself.
The saying "not forgiving, is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"
I try to remember and reallt identify with. Hopefully you have someone close to you, a parent, a sibling, a best friend that will come to aid quickly as was in your reading. A mediator, therapist, some outside help may be needed if he is hurting the children.
 
G

goddessliss

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When this all happened for me the first thing I did was to not communicate with him at all - if he rang I hung up, if he texted i deleted it without reading it, he tried getting information about me through the kids - I said do your best to change the subject if you can - in the end my youngest said "Dad if you want to know about anything, ring mum and don't bitch to me about her because I don't want or need to hear it, it's not my issue it's yours" :eek:
Why did he say this to his dad? Because that is how I had it set up in my own house.
I wouldn't have a bad word said about his dad or the new gf. If they wanted to speak about how they felt or cry or whatever they needed to do that was fine and we all used all different modalities of healing- that was what we focused on not what his dad did or didn't do.
One of the first things I did was seek counselling of sorts to see where I was accountable for the breakdown of the marriage because of course it all comes back to your own personal issues and man have I grown in myself and feel the most free and liberated I have ever felt.
My youngest, who was 14 at the time, felt it the most and he slept on a mattress on the floor in my bedroom for months and for the most part he would not let me out of his sight and had to know exactly where I was all the time and how he could contact me.
He struggled in school, withdrew into himself, spent countless hours playing XBox games and lived in hope his dad would come back but never once did I try to interfere in their relationship and he lived through some necessary heartache but it was his process not mind and he worked it out for himself.
Four years later he has a great job, a lot of friends, is an accomplished musician but most of all he is a happy, confident young man and just lately has shown me just how much he loves and respects me.
Incidentally over the four years I think I have spoken to my exhusband maybe twice on the phone very briefly just to clarify something but that is it.
He is still in the relationship with his gf and from what the kids have said it is a volatile, loveless relationship and they do not like her at all - sweet revenge my friend, sweet revenge! - Liss
 

wind

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What you have done with your children is what I have done as well with them. Exactly. I do not want them to ever accuse me of killing their relationship with their dad. He's doing a fine job of that himself, without help. As per my lawyer, I do not converse unless it's about the house or children and visitations.

I should clarify that the only reason I refer to her as "tramp" is because he picked her up from a popular sleezy sex site (without naming names), that is purely for getting laid with anonymous partners.

I have been in counseling. I do realize that my biggest contribution to our failed marriage comes from my going overboard in trying to keep him happy and forgetting about myself. I would like to say that I am not going to beat myself up over this for the rest of my life. I should never have accepted that position in our relationship, as it was replicating what his father did to his mother in their marriage. He comes from a family with strong mental health and substance abuse issues. He however, is not a drinker. I did know I was going into this with risk of repercussions.
 

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