Please....help with 38.3

[rosada]

Greetings Minnie,
I have only read the last two most recent postings on this thread...
49.2 says to me that it is time to change the whole nature of your connection with your ex. You've had a romance, that didn't work, you've broken up, that didn't work, so how can you to know each other in this lifetime? Ah, maybe as old friends.
7. says to me that it is important that everything one does is in alighnment with our higher purpose. You have a new boyfriend now. Being faithful to him is your "higher purpose".If the ex is truly to be "an old friend" you can't be meeting him on the side because that is not being faithful to your current lover, and also that is not how "old friends" behave.
55. Everything going to come out in the open. Tell the new boyfriend what is going on, that you ran into an old friend and would like the two of them to meet, - alright,maybe you don't have to go into all the details of the past.. ;-) - and tell the ex you and your new boyfriend would be delighted to join him for a cup of coffee sometime. Or if that seems impossible, tell your new boyfriend you are not ready for an exclusive relationship. Or don't have anything more to do with the ex.

 

[jross]

Dear all,

Thanks again for your feedback on this. And to you Frank and Rosada for your kind words - my new boyfriend is an old friend who is fully aware of all the goings on with my ex, but there is really no way the two could meet, for obvious reasons. Of course being faithful to him is my main concern (I wouldn't have it any other way).

My new boyfriend is great, he really is - but why am I still so unhappy and still so attached to my ex? I always seem to be looking for anwers that he will come back to me at some stage. I have such a heavy heart.

Minnie

 

[frank]

Hi Minnie,

Whow, I forgot to look better, and yes by changing line 2 of 49 you do not get 55, but 43... Probably it is time to let the stress come out in words... then the heart will not be that heavy anymore... Do you actually talk about this with your new boyfriend? Perhaps even with the old one? Mmm, there still should be a confrontation with disipline and tactics.

Hang in there,

Hug.
Frank

 

[jross]

Hi Frank,

I couldn't possibly talk to my new boyfriend about how I feel about my ex - he's an old friend and seems to be very much in love with me. How could I hurt him? It doesn't bear thinking about and as for the old boyfriend (the ex). I've shown him how I feel I think......and I have my pride, my self respect and my dignity to think of. If I tell him how I really feel, it only serves to make me more vulnerable and gives him the opportunity to reject me again. I can't put myself through it. Besides if he really and truly loved me.....he would tell me surely?

Lost is a word that comes to mind quite frequently. Perhaps it's time to just accept things as they are and realise that we will never be together.

Thank you Frank.


Much love


Minnie x

 

[frank]

Hi Minnie,

Those words you say realy give a signal... Be true to them... even if you are realy afraid of the outcome... That?s also the ?heavyness? 43 is talking about to let out... Besides that I realy know how you feel as I took the risk to step over my pride and let someone know how I felt, although I was rejected... (She is still a friend, and we have planned a lunch together at the end of this month...). It?s my challenge to deal with the input I want and what is... So probably should you... Perhaps you could ask the Yi some more insightfull questions...?

Hang in there!

Hug,
Frank

 

[jross]

Hi Frank,

Well I took some of your advice and asked the Yi another question. But, before I go into that I thought I'd let you know I haven't heard from him (Stu that is) and for now have decided against telling him how I really feel. I have other avenues of approach - a subtle word to a mutual friend is on the cards(who I know would like to see us both back together very much).

My real concern is whether or not I have become slightly obsessive about this situation or if my intuition is indeed telling me something. I have always had a strong sense of knowing. I am not sure how to tell anymore.

Last night I asked the Yi if I am deluding myself (is it just my imagination?) by thinking that Stuart is indeed going to come back into my life/want me back?

It threw back Hex 14 with changes at 14.4, 14.5 and 14.6 changing to Hex 34.

Makes absolutely no sense to me other than.....it's still telling me I need to wait....the time has not yet come for sweeping measures.

Any words of wisdom Frank (anyone else)?

Thank you again.



Minnie x

 

[philippa]

Hi Minnie,

I want to say I can sympathise with what you are going through.

I also want to point out that 14.4,5,6 does not change to 34. It changes to 5 (which I assume you knew already because you referred to the notion of "waiting").

There are many ways of understanding an answer. Some people prefer looking at the overall change (14->5). Some people like to look at the individual lines. It is important to trust your gut instinct such that the approach you take leads to an interpretation that resonates with you the most. And it seems to me that you don't trust your intuition much.

You asked: am I deluding myself...?

There are multiple interpretations possible. The most straightforward is, yes, you are deluding yourself, i.e., you finally get the point and of course, this is "great harvest." And by realizing this, some sort of resolution will eventually come to you (i.e., 5).

The less obvious one is that Yi may be correcting your "erroneous" thinking by reflecting the "reality," whatever that is.

In my personal experience, the majority of the answers I received are very direct (i.e., instead of correcting my perception or point of view). Whichever the case is for you, try to be honest with yourself and give it time to let the answer sink in.

I wish you the best of luck.

Philippa

 

[jross]

Phillipa,

Thank you very much for your posting. I am an idiot. I actually meant hexagram 9.....sorry with changes at 4.5 and 6 which would indeed make the overall change 34. Silly me. I don't want to waste anymore of your time, but if you have any answers to that reading I would be very grateful......And to anyone else who might be reading....I've had two glasses of red wine.

Thank you.


Minnie. xxx

 

[philippa]

Dear Minnie,

Hmm. 9.4.5.6 presents quite a different picture.

Your question: am I deluding myself...?

9 presents an image of clouds gathering and yet there's no rain.

Both line 4 and line 5 talks about being sincere and truthful. Again, given that you were inquiring on the validity of your thinking, my take is still, try to be (more?) trusting of your gut instinct on the right attitude/course of action (in contrast to what your "rational" mind is telling you to do or think).

Line 6 is interesting. Line 6 says the rain has fallen (e.g., your ex has failed to initiate further contact). With the exception that the fan yao of 9.6 is 5.6, I actually don't see "waiting" as the key reading here. Think of it as, now that the rain has fallen (recall that 9 is about clouds gathering), there's not much more to be gained from your current line of inquiry.

From a different angle, perhaps the thing to do is to ask yourself, how you can divert some of the energy (you spend thinking about your ex and you) into something else. Line 4 and 5 do present very positive signs (worries going away and relationships strengthening), but they depends on you to have some faith in yourself (and possibly in the people around you?).

Again, lots of luck. I do hope that you can resolve this internal conflict.

Philippa

 

[frank]

Hi Minnie,

How are you doing? Realy, beside the Yi and asking questions, how are you actually doing?

These posts do give me signals that goes beyond the answers the Yi is giving... In every question, and even in every answer there is the picture of love for an ex boyfriend and NOT for the boyfriend you have right now... Stu has not give ANY signal back... Is it not about time to move on then? Even talking to a mutual friend keepes the ghost of him insite... Why torture yourself that much... Or is it realy your intu?tion that tells you to hold on...? OR IS IT JUST PLAIN DOWN WISHFULL THINKING...?

By receiving hex. 9 as your answer there is at least a signal that you can't do much right now... As the wind (upper trigram), blows over heavenly clouds (trigram below), the rain has not arrived yet... To me this represents your inner way of living these days... Moods symbolised by clouds and tension (rain) not yet comming out... One attribution of hexagram 9, as the literature speaks about, is the need for 'detail'. Like the wind blows in every hole of heaven, so should you be aware of details in this matter... Then getting into details whould make you more awake and conscious about the fact what is actually going on...

Changing line 4 of 9 you could have a confrontation with enthousiasm, as line 4 in 16 (enthousiasm) is the only hexagram with a yang line on that position... Line 4 alone, in any hexagram is telling something about just that... This tells me that you would still be thrilled to have Stu back into your life... You are enthousiastic about it. But as every brave suporter yells for his team before a soccermatch, or even during it, so do you... You shout in euforic ways the dream you want to make reality... Well, then you can shout as long as you like, but as long it's going to be just to blow your enthousiasm sky high, you will not getting anything done here on the plain down earth, before getting out of the bubble and start walking :-D! Line 4 of 9 let the hexagram change into hexagram 1 and the BIG LEAP FOWARD on the position of line 4 there...

By changing line 5 only, you get a confrontation with hex. 8 as that is the only hexagram with a yang line on position 5.... and the Union of hexagram 8 is actually not about the union of you two, but to yourself first! How can you tickle someone before knowing your very own tickle spot? By changing line 5 of 9 you get hex. 14 Great Possetions... Start to become aware what YOU have to offer and then share it... (Then even Stu could start to become aware what he is missing...)

By changing line 6 of 9 you will be confronted with letting out what's insite you and waited so long to come out. (Hex. 23, as that one has only a yang line on top). Then hex. 9 changes into that of hex. 5, the waiting in faith...

I think you do NOT delute yourself, bu the Yi is getting a bit tired of all of this, I guess... Together the three changing lines make the confrontational hexagram of 12, STOP!

By getting hexagram 34 at the end I think the Yi is reflecting the powers inside yourself that could be distructable. And as a saying is put to the meaning on this hexagram it tell you that" It's great to have powers like a giant...it's a tirany to use it as such" (Shakespeare)... Do not destroy yourself in guilt here... as the imagetexts are saying: "Do not enter roads that are not in place with the order..."... Stay who you are, and look to what is possible in real life detail... not in dreams only... :-D

I can almost hear the confercation between you and the Yi, and now the Yi is talking: "My god, Millie! STOP at once with thinking such a nonsense about deluting yourself... It brings you further from the point where you want to go to... STOP dreaming (and scare yourself) and start acting by looking into details (9), which could be talked over with a mutual friend, as long as he / she is objective enough (!), and you give yourself time to come back at earth and start to jump (1), use the euforia to get where you want to go (16), feel good about yourself (8), share that (14) and WAIT IN FAITH (5). Perhaps Stu comes back then, and perhaps not! That is NOT the Issue... The Issue is that you feel terrible about yourself while loving an ex and NOT loving the man you are with now... STOP feeling guilty, and start to work... Then even perhaps a third party will show up later on..."

Does this making some sense what so ever?

HANG IN THERE

BIG HUG
Frank

 

[jross]

Dearest Frank,

It was truly an insight to read your posting. Things have changed slight ly in the last few days. If anything I've had an awakening of sorts.......I'm beginning to see the light. Recently, I've spent some time with some good quality friends who have shared their views with me and in the process have done wonders for my self-esteem. Stuart is not worthy of me - he has nothing to offer me, other than a great deal of baggage. I offered him so mcuch love and he just didn't want it. I am far from over him and I tend to agree with you in that the Yi is most probably getting fed up with me asking the same question. I realise that this is a gradual process and I am getting better. But everytime I hear from him (see him) or one of his friends gets in contact it just makes me feel awul all over again. It's definately time to move on......and time to gain some strength.

Thank you Frank (and you Phillipa) for your input, advice and kind words. It really helps to have some clarity on these issues - especially when you become blinded by your own problems/concerns.

If anything changes, I'll be sure to let you know.

Love Minnie x

 

[frank]

Hi Minni,

Glad to be of some help. And Stu does not know what he is missing... :-D... Take care, and shure... keep me informend...

Hug,
Frank

 

[itsyourlife]

Instead, you might back off from this path!! Seeing the results of your current behavior, you back off, holding on to your dignity and your vision of what you REALLY want from him. That vision is not in alignment with his view of things now, so get your nose out of his face.

Back off, believing that what you want IS perhaps a real possibility with him, but not if you continue on the path of being led by his uncertainty and halting commitment.

Your own dignity is your 14. Hold on to it, believing you are worth more than a tumble in the hay . Stick to your principles.

this is an excellent thread.
i just got this line asking
"insight to 56 guy saying "trust me we will" "
re: getting together

such a good thread on so many levels.
i cant thank n/a posts so im bumping this thread cos its gold for 38.3 > 14

 

[Yasmin]

This is a very old thread, but a lot of the comments on 38.3 could rightfully belong in Exploring Divination. For posterity, I wanted to share that in non-romantic situations, this line has worked out for me as extreme hardship, demanding heroic perseverance to achieve my goal, but ultimately (and after a long effort), it did work out.

One cast was about a legal situation, where I asked if I should hire a particular lawyer to help me get compensation for damages to my house by a neighbouring building site. It was arduous, took a lot of persistence, but eventually I got fully compensated and more. From start to finish it took 3 years.

Another cast was asking if I should pause fitness training for awhile. I ended up doing so because of travel, then having to unexpectedly care for my mother who had a stroke. I came out of this “pause” drained and in terrible shape, but I eventually resumed training 5 months later and within weeks had mostly recovered.

My feeling is that in a romantic situation, this would be a rather inauspicious reading - it would take an inordinate amount of motivation to go through such hardship. Perhaps in a marriage, with children involved for example, extreme perseverance could be justified, in the hope of turning the situation around. But for a fledgling dating situation? I would read it as the hardship will end after moving on.