please help with the interpretation: lines in conflict :O 8.1.3.4 to 49

[petra33]

Hi there!
I've just asked what is the best behaviour with someone (it's the boy about I've posted before)...and I got 8.1.3.4 to 49...
it suggest me that I have to speak to him, trying to talk by my heart (despite the "superficial" context)? or that we are totally different ppl (therefore I should keep the distance, but in a polite way)? or maybe it suggest to be myself and polite, and just after that I will realize if he is good for me or not (= if he is "the right one" or "the wrong one")?
I don't understand the relationship between the moving lines (especially between 3 and 4 , that have an opposite meaning)..
Also I do not know if I have to follow the advice of hex.8 to make another toss? because of there are moving lines, I guess it is not the case to make another one...
49 suggest a deep changing as well; but on my behaviour or on the person of I am focused on?
any opinions?
All the best!
PS:about 2 weeks ago I had 25 to 46 about his behaviour (if he could do anything to get closer to me), with all moving lines (!!)..means that he is getting more responsable and mature (maybe)?

sorry for the confused message, but I am in need of sleep )

 

[ginnie]

what is the best behaviour with someone (it's the boy about I've posted before)...and I got 8.1.3.4 to 49

49 is bursting and wanting a big change to happen ... That is your relating hexagram, which shows your relationship to the question you asked.

8.1 indicates unexpected good fortune coming your way.

That was a great question you asked, about receiving both 8.3 and 8.4. Sounds like the young man is of the difficult kind. I did not read your earlier post on him. Relying on someone like that exclusively would be the wrong move to make on your part. Alternatively, people are not just black and white and line 4 moving indicates that sometimes this young man would be a good person to know. These contradictions -- you probably already sense them and they are confusing you. Probably he is the one who is the source of the confusion.

 

[petra33]

thanks ginnie )

thanks ginnie...yes, I am confused...probably it is also because I am trying to improve myself:.. Therefore evry time I like someone I don't know if it is a good thing for me or not....
yeas, he is really complicated boy (younger than me), moody and confused about his life...I am waiting for his big change..actually I am wishing it, even if we will not get closer..
probably it suggest to keep my balance and to don't please him to know him: when he has a good behaviour with me it's time to speak to him; when he is in a bad mood or rude, I have to keep the distance to respect myself AND to send him the message that he has totreat me with respect.
If I follow his costantly changing mood, we will never be anything (friends, lovers etc etc)..
do you agree with me ? )
and any ideas about the other toss that I've posted? maybe 25 to 46 talks about his improvement: maybe he's finally becoming mature )

thanks and all the best to all

 

[ginnie]

Maturity

Many men these days do not want to be men but prefer being boys. The reasons for this phenomenon are very many indeed, and much has been written on this topic. Maybe, Petra33, most of the time it is okay with you that he is acting the role of a younger person, maybe your younger brother? That is, maybe in your family you had a younger brother and so this relationship is familiar to you ...

Regarding your question about following or not following his moods ... it becomes a question of whether or not you are willing to tolerate his bad moods and his rudeness sometimes.

If you have a choice, why would you want to continue to build a relationship with someone like this?

In dealing with people, it is best to assume that they will never change. I know that you are hoping that maybe in two years or five years that he will be a different, improved person, but realistically speaking, unless he has expressed a deep desire to change his life, most likely he will be the same ten years from now as he is today. You very much want to believe that he will be a different, better person, but that is not likely to happen.

 

[petra33]

Thanks a lot again....
Actually the situation is much more complicated..he is actually young (just 21)...and he is also a "stray dog"..I don't have any younger brothers (unfortunatelly), but when I was younger, I used to be a bit like a stray dog, too..
I know he is acting badly because he still has to find his balance..actually I am still looking for mine as well )
what I would like is to know that he is getting better..he is alone from when he was a young boy..he really wants intimacy but he is too scared: it is a vicious circle that I know and that sometimes I still use..

in the end, what we have in common is a bleeding broken heart..and I'd like to have him in my life..."let him go" it's like to quit with a part of myself...
but it's his right to keep the distance to me; and maybe I should not care about his motivations; maybe he is too scared, too confused, too masochistic, too immature, too ashamed etc etc ..in the end of the day, the final result is the same, if he doesn't give do any step towards me
the reason of my tosses was to know if he will ever do a step towards me and how I have to act to face this situation; because I need to think about my best (especially if he is too weak to stay with me).

I already said to him that I want to know him better..and the only thing that I got is that he stopped to be aggressive...but nothing else... I won't wait for him..but his absence make me feel quite empty and sad, at the moment..
So step by step I want to carry on with my life, but I often meet him and I don't know how to act for my best..
probably I should repeat in my mind the famous sentence "If he doesn't chase you after you walk away, keep walking"..
but technically HE is walking away this time )

 

[ginnie]

You have identified yourself with him, and you shouldn't be doing that at all. Third line moving in hexagram 8 indicates that he and you are not the same kind of person. You do not value the same things. If you put too much into this relationship, he will eventually disappoint you. Heck, he doesn't even understand who you are.

Take charge of your life and try to stop yourself from thinking about him like this. Your mind circling around these insoluble problems -- this is the opposite of happiness. In fact, the name of what you are experiencing is MISERY.