Potential of a possible relationship

[cal val]

Claire...

From Brad Hatcher's notes on 24.1:

"No need for remorse or repentance, simply recognize faults and mistakes."

That was exactly my experience with 24.1... although I did end up feeling remorse when I recognized my faults and mistakes. It didn't even begin to happen, though, until I allowed a professional counsellor to guide me. And it didn't happen overnight. It took time.

Love,

Val

 

[claire]

Thanks Val for your input.
Val I havent understood well Dharma's reading so I asked for the clarification. About my previous posts, it is not the same relationship and I didnt mean to be rude to Dobro or you but I feel really horribly shocked that he wants me to look for a counsellor and you look for my previous posts to recognize some pattern in me.
I wonder who gave you both this right!

I am just looking for some ICHing guidance in this forum. God, you are being very much judgemental and very much superior in your approach to me. I just asked for clarification and followed Hillary's instruction cause I thought that it was a good question for me to ask.
I am putting all readings in account into my heart and reflecting about them all.
If I am here it is because I trusted you all enough to share my life.
I dont think I should be here to be judged or analyzed. You even looked at my previous posts and that makes me feel very much banned.
If I had one mistake in this forum was being very much honest and trust it.
Anyway, thanks.

Deb, yes I do understand what you say to me and yes I am analyzing it all and understanding what the readings told me. I just asked it cause I thought I could do something to make it better and I honestly didnt understand Dharma's reading very well, the details, you know?
I like to understand things very well and I admit that sometimes it is hard for me to understand so many info at the same time.
But Im reflecting very much about everything you said and I will really take it on board.

To all the ones who helped me, thanks very much.
If by any chance I have offended anyone in this forum I would like to sincerely apologize.
I will not bother anymore.

 

[yellowblue]

Claire,

Don't "not bother anymore". People here are just people... discern what is helpful and don't close off to all. There are good people with good hearts here... just discriminate what is helpful to you.

Of course you don't understand, none of us do, or we wouldn't be here. And it's always good to ask questions : )

Someone once told me from his heart (the same love on a parallel as you're thinking of now) that "it will all be ok because it can't be any other way"... take heart from this. He is still a great friend although we are not together as I'd like. So Claire listen to that... he was right.

There is good and bad everywhere. It's up to us to absorbe the good and not the "bad". Don't close off and not bother... just take in what you need and discard what you don't. Dharma was very receptive, as many are. Don't be disheartened : )

Deb

 

[dobro p]

Gee, a small storm.

Dharma: yeah I do counselling work, and when I do, I'm nothing like what I've been like in this thread LOL. In this thread, I've been really direct because I think that's what's needed. I don't think I've been discourteous, though.

Claire: my apologies if I bruised your feelings. It wasn't my intention to do that. I was wanting you to reconsider your approach, but I guess it didn't work very well. So, here's something I'd really like you to think about: you say you're too 'messed up' to consult the Yi yourself. But in my experience, it's those very times when there's a lot of emotion in me that powers a really useful reading. So if by 'messed up' you mean really upset and emotional, then I really encourage you to consult the oracle yourself - it's the best time! I wonder why you don't want to do that - is it because you don't trust the result if it comes through you, or is it more that you want other people to come to your rescue? I sensed a bit of both in your post, but it was because of the second one (to the rescue!) that I suggested a counselor. It's wonderful to have a counselor you can work with (not me - LOL) on a practical problem like this. I wish you well with your trying to sort out the relationship you're wondering about - relationships are the most confusing and upsetting kind of experience I know. ('And no surprise, dobro, considering what you're like,' you're thinking, right?)

Finally: to everyone here. Is it often like this in here? LOL

 

[yellowblue]

Dobro,

To a counselor: aaa yaaa, we're dealing with multiple personalities here... more complicated that the three faces of eve LOL...

Just a big family that gathers and words and retreats because of words and well you know, don't you??? The bigger the family the more... well you know, don't you??? All those personalities... wow, a new twist for screenwriters....right? What did you expect ; ) ???

Deb

 

[gene]

I think a lot of people here were just trying to help in their own way. Not too worried about their brusqueness or whatever. Whether I agree with them or not is immaterial. Hopefully Claire, you have been helped.

We all start somewhere. Some of us tied our own shoe laces when we were two. Some got it down when we were five. It is the same way in our spiritual life. We can only come from where we come from.

Deb. I think you have been very fortunate to have some great people in your life, who whether they meant to be or not, in one way or another were great teachers. Your maturity and wisdom shows through.

While counselling may be a great help to some, for me personally, I have absolutely no use for the field whatsoever, people would be better off learning the Tao. To develop wisdom and understanding within themselves. For others though, it is a valuable tool.

Dharma, I like your style. Several years back I held a very prominent position in a sense as a Tarot reader on the prodigy network. In fact I was the person people were sent to to analyze whether their skills were good enough to read on the new age forum in prodigy. I also ran a "Tarot and Tea" chat room for a while. I found though, while I could do excellent readings for others, I couldn't read the cards at all for myself. Actually that is not always true. But while I was a sought out reader often on that site. I really did have trouble reading for myself. I can read quite well for myself in I Ching, however, even there I think it is often best to have an independent person read for me in order to keep my own biases and preferences out of it. You did a nice job.

Leonard, the corner is where you go to eat a piece of pie that you don't want anyone seeing you eat. Forget about the dunce cap. Ha ha. My personal favorite is pecan pie.

Val. I think your continued presence here has been a blessing to a lot of people. It's nice to see people stick around, and work around things and let's say, "get the job done." I bet you would be a great counsellor in a sense to a lot of troubled people who have "been through the mill."

Dobro. I take your intentions to have been well meaning, and very possibly some good will come out of them. As we all need to take a look inside ourselves and see who we really are, whether that comes through counselling, through reading cards, through meditation, or whatever. We who are still stuck in the physical plane need all the help we can get from whatever source to come to understand the value of ourselves, and the meaning of the eternal soul that we are.

Gene

 

[etyrnal]

Call me old fashioned, but philosophy has always been to let the man take the lead. I let him know I am interested, but if he cannot hold his own after that, then I can't help him. I have a feminine mind so I cannot be the aggressor. Some women have the masculine mind and are comfortable being the aggressor. What kind of mind do you have?

If a man cannot open his mouth, makes no effort, takes no steps toward having a relationship with you, what does that say about him? What does that say about you?

It takes 2 to tango.

 

[dharma]

You're very welcome Claire.

It was truly my pleasure. Now... the best thing you can do right at this time is to make the decision to really focus more on yourself. A wholehearted committment to yourself often means walking away from energy consuming relationships, even if it's only for a short time, but in truth it is often much longer than that. You very much need to come to know where your boundaries as an individual lie and who Claire really is. Otherwise, every attempt at making any relationship "work" at this time will be emotionally taxing no matter how you do it. Until you have done this inner work and spent quality time alone with yourself, all your efforts at building a relationship will accomplish very little of what resembles a satisfying and rewarding connection.

I am speaking from experience Claire. I myself have spent many long years alone and I understand what deafening solitude sounds like. I spent the early years in tears and heartache more than I smiled. But from where I stand today, though my heart goes out to the person that I was back then, I wouldn't change a thing. The greatest gift I ever gave myself, was myself, even if the road there was a painful one. Of course, you can go your own way and do things in the way that feels easiest but it's not going to change the most basic difficulties that are affecting this relationship. Actually, I know of many people who continue year after year struggling to find themselves inside relationships that are fundamentally incompatible. What usually happens is that their focus (good or bad) is always on their significant other and so they never quite ever succeed at accomplishing their goal of self-discovery. Some do, but they are a rare breed. I was not one of them. I always tended to lose myself inside relationships because of my attraction for very strong and dominating partners.

Anyway... I want to tell you that it took a lot of guts to speak so openly about what is so personal and heart-sensitive. It's good to get things out in the open but not everyone has experienced life in the same way and so cannot always identify with the emotional space that you live in and the way that you want to be treated. Although I understand that part of your reason for posting under your user name each time you come here is to be recognized and valued as an individual it may be better if you requested help as an Anonymous poster in the future to avoid being exposed and put on the spot.

You have to admit that you've received an incredible outpouring of love here today, and in the past too; the Friends at Clarity may not always be perfect but they do try to give the best they have to give - mostly exquisite soul

Above all, you must listen to your inner voice and learn to help yourself by trusting the guidance that comes from within because no one else can ever possibly know you as well as you can know yourself. Finally, the Universe is infinite and our time here eternal - there's no rush, take however long you need to heal Claire... do what you have to do, see who you have to see, speak with whomever you need to speak with - because God is patient, it all will turn out in just the right way. It always does - trust that.

with love ...

 

[cal val]

Claire...

I want to amend something I said in my last post. It was only those mistakes that hurt other people that I ended up feeling remorse for. I have forgiven myself though.

Dobro...

No... it's never like this on this forum. We're all perfect human beings. None of us has a single human flaw. This is all an illusion.

And while I'm on a roll, did you hear the one about....

Yes it's often like this on this forum. And as you accurately observed... this is only a small storm. We're all perfectly imperfect flawed people. And, as Rupert Everett says to Cate Blanchett in the movie, "An Ideal Husband"..."Dear Gertrude, it is not the perfect, but the imperfect who have need of love."

Gene...

I thank you for your kind words, but I wouldn't be able "to get the job done" if it weren't for the learned scholars of the Yi like you who have given so much of yourselves and helped me to listen to and hear the Yi. And my gratitude for this forum and the people like you here is immense. I hope to be able to contribute something as much... if not more... to the universe as I've received here.

Etyrnal...

It is my philosophy as well that a woman should allow the man to lead, but sometimes that's impossible for a woman to do. It requires trust, which I believe from experience to be one of life's most fragile gifts. Sometimes a woman's trust has been so badly betrayed in her early life that even though on the outside in her conscious mind she wants her Great Man to lead, something on the inside in her subconscious mind won't let that happen... for fear of death. It's the priests, magicians and counsellors...and that wonderful force behind the Yi... who can guide such a woman back to a place of trust. But it can't happen unless the woman is willing to accept responsibility for her faults and mistakes and listen to the reasons for them... so that she can dispel her own misunderstandings.

Love,

Val

 

[madversity]

hi claire. i havent read all the mail but noticed u r in great distress. 3 yrs ago i parted from my x fiance and ever since have hogged the book to guide me. anyway i will gladly help u cast your question and c what we can learn of your relationship. i even have an archetype question i cast daily b4 we talk on mssngr. i am OCD heh. he lives in canada and i in israel : (. ystrdy he told me he loves me : ). anyway ill b glad to share my obsession with u...take care and please hold on. tali.p.s. i am very slow and overloaded, but will do what i can. k?

 

[midaughter]

Hi everyone,
let me admit I only scanned many of the answers. Claire after 30 years and a particularly notable example while reading for a Wiccan writer and friend in Berkley, CA, I never again threw the coins for anyone. To ease the doubt of some, including me, why not the querent throw again? I think rather than getting into theory about this, the very simple solution is for the querent to toss the coins and give the answer.

But I will tell you that Hexagram 46 is an unusual answer regarding a relationship. If you had received Hexagram 42, well then, no doubt but here. I just finished ready for an advanced tantric practitioner of commendable spiritual discipline who received this wonder Hexagram 42 in response to a question for marriage. (she is a lay practitioner). Hexagram 42 to me is a show-stopper in the fields of relationships and more.

This Hexagram 46 gives me a feeling that possibly this is not a responsive answer. However, hexagram 46 speaks of allowing things to evolve naturally. This is a probably very good idea as you will be able to divine later and also see trends for yourself requiring more alertness on your part. For this reason, this subject should continue further along the lines that she feels are appropriate. Her understanding this situation and the seeds of the future that now appear will come naturally out of not trying to force anything. Stay alert!

Best,

Sun

 

[malka]

Claire,

Good wishes to you as you move forward on your journey of self-discovery, at your own pace and in your own way.

Blessings,
Malka

 

[claire]

Thank you all for care.
I really send love to you all.
Claire.

 

[claire]

Tali, where do I find you to talk with you?
Claire.

 

[claire]

Thanks Sun and Malka too. And everyone! God bless.

 

[madversity]

dear claire, id b happy to talk to u soon. my email is tali90@bezeqint.net. love tali.

 

[madversity]

btw i wanted to tell u all ive opened a forum group called daughter's lounge. i believe we can learn alot about ourselves and our relationships by studying our birth trigrams and those of our family or loved ones. this is a unique way to better know ourselves and our life dynamics. given that few families have 3 boys and 3 girls,as in the archetypical chinese family. so the plot thickens as we take on additional functions in our birth families, or share some with others, when there oare more than three of a given gender. i considered extending the forum to sibling'slounge...what do u think. it will take me a while to set it up properly, but im the only member for now, so thats ok for now. thanks for listening. tali