Psychosomatic Headache

[themulberrytree]

I'm on the end of my rope, I really can't handle this headache, it's been going on for days, I really don't know what to do. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I freaked out and revolved my entire life against the issue of narcissism and when I noticed feelings of jealousy or shame or pain, I shut them out. I told myself that they were wrong or lies, and if I felt good about anything, I told myself I didn't really feel good -- I was just experiencing a power trip. And then I had so many dreams about evil figures squeezing my head until it almost burst, and in one dream, I was beheaded. And I've tried stopping to shut down feelings, but now I'm so obsessively monitoring my feelings, and I can't stop. I stopped talking to people for months, and now I'm talking with people again, but I'm always watching myself, always waiting for myself to slip up and not do my fair share or ignore their feelings. Or not express myself properly. I hate it, and I want it all to end. I cast about how to stop the headache and I got Hexagram 49.2.3.6>10.

I liked the reading, because it discussed fire and molting. And that's how I imagine my mental defenses, burnt to shreds, like a cigarette filter. But I'm having trouble with what it might want me to do -- I think it seems like it's telling me to calm down, relax, and wait. I connect with the hexagram more as it states my situation -- I tried to force a revolution in my behavior by telling myself that if I just noticed and shut down certain feelings or behaviors, I would be a better person. I ignored all warning signs that this wasn't the right path and now have this problem. But that's not what I cast about, I cast about how to get rid of the headache. So any help would be nice.

 

[Tohpol]

My, there are a whole lot of issues going on here that appear like a tangled knot. However, it may be that you are reaching a peak of this crisis in relation to your concept of self. It's a common predicament: an overactive mental life, poor self-esteem and the consequent endless, churning of thoughts which drain your energy leading to a vicious circle. No amount of forcing against feelings or circular thoughts is going to work. It will merely electrify the "static" still further. I think what you may need is something to take you away from your own preoccupations i.e. decentralising your focus on self and also some physical grounding in terms of bodywork and/or visiting nature to equalize all that mental energy.

Your headache appears to be a physical manifestation of those inner troubles, something that you are clearly aware of. So, in response to how to rid yourself of this headache:

49.2.3.6>10

This would imply that a revolution is called for - a thorough metamorphosis. No surprise there.

Line 2: is the point where you recognise change is called for and you can't go on this way. Timing is essential and knowing that it can't happen just like that. Your headache is neon red sign saying: ENOUGH! These are the first steps to changing your inner state and it is a positive one suggesting ultimate success.

Line 3: reiterates that this success won't arrive overnight. You'll need support. You'll have to work at it and employ different methods of healing carefully considered. Do some research (NOT obsessively) and find people that will help you in your quest. Once you have a plan, set to work. No extremes and no drastic actions. This cannot be confronted head on. I think this line is also confirming (to me) that this must be healed gently and slowly so as not to stimulate the already highly sensitive mental circuit which has been overwrought with core unresolved emotions.

Line 6: Offers success and the achievement of your objective. But you'll have to pay attention (again, not obsessively) to maintaining that new found equilibrium. This line shows that you can do it and the headache is telling you start.

It's an encouraging line combo. You can do it. Transforming all those negative emotions must mean you face them rather than shutting them out. And I think the Yi is saying you have what it takes to do that.

If your headache continues meantime, I suggest a trip to a masseur or an osteopath who may give you a once over to make sure your body has not taken on more of this pain. You may have something misaligned for instance. It's all connected underneath.

All the best in your journey.

 

[kincadefoster]

I recommend meditation. I recommend taoist microcosmic orbit or red phoenix as these give your mind something to focus on with the visualization of energy moving. I find this really helps me otherwise my brain will just keep thinking in those cycles.

It may not feel like it's working, your brain will still try to keep thinking as you have trained it to, but keep focusing on the breath and visualization and try to immerse yourself in it and after a few min of that every day, you will start to feel much better.

 

[themulberrytree]

Hey, thanks for the interpretation and thanks to both of you for the tips on meditation and bodywork.
I'll check back soon. Have a good feeling about this one, although reluctant.

 

[themulberrytree]

I, well... The headache is over. The headache begins again when I obsess or am forced to reinforce myself (someone doesn't take my no seriously, mocks me for it, etc.), but it's mostly gone. My issue with bloating, which I have not mentioned here, is also gone. Honestly, I think the best thing was just stop. Like, my headache went away when I stopped being obsessive and just gave up on my trains of thought. I'm a fine person. Normal, even. My motivations are normal. My bloating stopped when I stopped concentrating so much on being good.
I worry a little I didn't resolve anything, but maybe it was good to just relax.