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Quitting friendship

Solanna

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Hello,
I found this forum by searching the web for an iching community to help me with the question I'm stuck on. I'm from Poland and I think I use a different system of writing down the answers, but I hope I will be understood.

I have a friend that I care for very much, but by seeing how he trats me and how he treats other friends, I get the feeling he doesn't care for me the same as I do for him. The friend states I am a meanigful person to him, yet his actions state otherwise. I asked iching three times in my lifetime if I should end this relationship - I feel it causes me more pain than necessary. Every time I asked this question, I got the answer 879878 - hex 48 (cing) with the line III (9) and 29 (khan). I can't figure out how to interpret the well. Is it about me, or about him? Is it about staying, or letting go?

I will be very gratefull for any help.
 

yxeli

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Hi Solana, welcome.

Its quite interesting that every answer regarding this question has been the same one. Can I ask did you ask them in quick succession or was each answer given over an extended period of time?

the well is an interesting hex because depending on the context of the question it can mean different things. In your case, I think thers a few ways of looking at it. the well might represent the depth of the relationship. Getting understanding and reaching mutual confidence seems to be blocked. 'it is my hearts sorrow' as the line says. There does seem to be alot of pain involved here. As far as asking whther or not this message is directed at you or him, I am of the opinion that the I ching can answer the general ballpark of another persons feelings, but rarely do these answers give you any clarity. I think even though the YI may be talking about him, the Yi is giving the answer to you, and as such, your the only one going to benefit from the consultation, so even when im asking about someone else, I view yis answer in terms of my position as much as the other persons.

With that in mind, do you feel like this person doesnt understand you? That you dont feel like you have been able to show this person who you really are? line 3 is full of potential, there is something there, but for one reason or another, you cant reach it.

The fan yao 29.3 might give a hint as to why you cant reach it. from LiSe's site:

''Despair or fatalism block every hope for finding a solution. Solve the blocking of the heart, only a free heart can ever find solutions.''

have you actually confronted your friend about your view that he treats you differently than his other friends directly? Is there some old issue that needs to be aired? because it seems that the yi is advising you to dig a little deeper regarding this relationship. First, try to understand where your coming from. Could you be viewing this situation with the others and comparing your relationship with him too harsly? Should your friend treat everyone the same? What motivates you to compare yourself with these others?

I often get this line when yi is basically telling me that i'm only skimming the surface. There's a deeper question here and I need to try to find it.

Bests,

Yx
 

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