Reading for Others Face-to-Face

[lindsay]

Hello everyone!

This is a subject I?ve wanted to ask about for a long time. Every once in awhile, usually quite by accident, someone asks me to do a reading for them. Often this person has very little knowledge of the Yi, and does not know what to expect. For my part, I have done very few face-to-face readings, and my personal reading style is so scattered and text-driven it resembles a mini-research project more than a solemn act of divination.

Reading for others face-to-face brings up a whole series of unique issues. Here are some of the problems I?ve encountered in my personal experience. I?m certain everyone will think of others based on their own experiences.

First of all, what do you do when people are not entirely serious or sympathetic? Naturally people coming to the Yi for the first time have many reservations and do not ?believe in? the process the way I do. They tend to have naïve ideas about the Yi?s claim to predictive, ?fortune-telling? powers. Still, friends and acquaintances can be very persuasive and insistent in asking for a reading, and it is not always possible to just say ?no?.

Second, how do you know if you are ready or competent to take on reading for others? Not everyone is completely certain of their own private and personal readings, much less ones they attempt for others. There is a question of responsibility here, it seems, even though the Yi supposedly does all the work.

Third, how do you proceed with the reading itself? Consulting the Yi does not seem to be much of a performing art. Sort of like watching a glacier race. True, the actual casting can be mildly entertaining, but what about the rest? Tarot readers have their wonderful cards and spreads, but what can a Yi reader offer except a jumble of dog-eared books? And what is the querent supposed to be doing while you are scrambling to make sense of their three contradictory moving lines?

Even a simple reading involves a great deal of specialized lore. Some old hands tend to forget how much they had to learn to make sense of the Yi. I?ve tried to walk people through the whole process, but I ended up giving them a lecture that left them bleary-eyed and stunned into a coma. How do you explain a complicated reading to someone who first learned about the Yi moments before?

Most important, how do you shorten the time-span of a reading so you can present a credible result before your friend has finished knitting a sweater or reading a novel or fallen asleep? Every social contact has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Finding the end has been one of the most awkward problems for me in reading for others. How do you know when you?re finished, and how do you bring closure to the reading?

Reading for others face-to-face is rarely discussed in the books. Diana ffarington Hook suggested a ritual that makes High Mass look like an impromptu happening. I would very much like to hear about the experiences of others. If there is anyone out there who feels comfortable reading for others face-to-face, that person is in a position to make a big contribution to the peace of mind of nervous readers like me.

Perplexed,
Lindsay

 

[candid]

Hi Lindsay,

I think you may be underestimating yourself a bit. From what I've seen here of your posts, you are quite nimble and very familiar with the subject of I Ching. Certainly equipped to interpret a reading for someone else.

Typically when I'm asked for a reading I ask: Would you prefer a clinical or a personal reading? The difference is that in a clinical reading, I simply provide the mechanics and a reading from Wilhelm, sometimes augmented with LiSe's work. I don't even need to know the question for this type of reading. If they decide on a personal reading, I know the question and help the person to apply it to their situation. Often the clinical evolves into a more personal reading but it develops in the form of a natural conversation.

As to when to end a reading, one just feels its time to move on to something else. Staying there begins to feel tense and inappropriate after that. Changing the subject (gently) usually works.

The time span of a reading depends on both what's appropriate and what's beneficial to the inquirer.

Its sometimes difficult to say when a person is just playing with you about wanting a reading and when its only a cover-up of their genuine interest or curiosity to experience it for themselves.

Overall, I consider the space an inquirer has to fill and will attempt no more than what's achievable at a given time. I also have little patience for one who only wants to know their future and will not invest themselves in the outcome. I think that's part of what 4 can be about. Its not I who seeks to amuse. If an inquirer genuinely wants to know, their lack of experience makes them no less a worthy student. So long as they bring their genuine curiosity and are willing to invest themselves, I'm there.

Finally, let's not forget practice. If I recall correctly, you are a cellist. Its no different really. Would you play for someone who wouldn't listen? And, didn't it take practice for you to perform well?

We're all different and I'd imagine we'd all read for another a bit differently. Don't be too concerned about some of your subjectivity becoming involved. Its also your empathy connection to the inquirer. Keeping an eye on it is always good though lest we become projectionists rather than readers.

Hope this helps.

Namaste,
Candid

 

[heylise]

I had a lot of fun, reading your mail. It sounded all very familiar. Especially this: ?.. scattered and text-driven it resembles a mini-research project more than a solemn act of divination?, which is always my trouble too. Sitting on my bed and trying to find some peace of mind before I go to sleep, and then an hour later with square eyes I found a lot of interesting things, but nothing about my question. Simply forgot about that, and on top of all ending up with too little sleep.

When I do a reading for someone else, I try to let them make their own reading. No yarrow stalks, but only coins, and not counting but simply ?3 heads is old yang, 1 head is young, and yang is male and action?. Same simple explanation for yin.
I find the right hexagram for them, try to give an image of it, and then I put the text (Wilhelm or my own) in front of them. Very often they grab one or two words which make sense, I add some explanation, or the other way around, I make some little suggestion. And I point at the second hex. with some explanation. Everything short and simplified. Talking starts, and things don?t become too complicated. I don?t show the lines right away, it is too much to digest. When the hexagram is more or less clear, I try to bring in something about the line(s), but very often they are filled to the brim already.
Of course it is every time different. Sometimes I see a line which gives a great answer, and we hardly get to the hexagram itself.

My experience is that many people can find original meanings themselves. I don?t mind if they are very different from what I think the hexagram says. They ask because their mind needs clarity, they don?t ask about the Yi. So whatever they find is great, even if it is not at all what the text says. They make contact with the essence of the Yi, so the literal words don?t matter.

LiSe

 

[louise]

Hi Lindsay, I find it difficult doing readings for others for all the reasons you have said. The atmosphere does not feel right because I have only done readings for friends in social situations and I can't switch from chatting etc to the frame of mind I feel comfortable in when consulting Yi. In a sense I also feel quite strongly I need to be alone to communicate effectively with the Yi. Sorry can't help much, tend to avoid doing readings for others. The tarot being so much more visual seems to be much better for face to face readings. In fact I've never seen face to face I Ching readings advertised anywhere, probably for all the reasons you've given. Not sure if Hilary does face to face readings.

 

[hilary]

Catching a bus in 5 minutes, just passing through. Thank you Lindsay for the topic! No, I don't do face to face readings either. I think I'd end up asking people to pay to knit sweaters/ read novel/ fall asleep, just as you say. I tried once years ago with a friend, and stared dumbly at the hexagram while trying to say something intelligent in response to her questions. Within about 30 seconds of leaving her house, I could see exactly how it applied. (I went home and wrote it up for her!) Something to do with the way my mind works, or doesn't, I suppose: I find it quite hard to think without writing!

I haven't tried again since - maybe if the friend is game for another attempt, I might see if I've improved. I should think it would be necessary to have all the research done in advance, all you need to know memorised and on instant recall. Hm - maybe I'll leave it another few (dozen) years...

Bus in 60 seconds...

 

[Frankelmick]

Lindsay,

Thanks very much for introducing this fascinating thread.

"If there is anyone out there who feels comfortable reading for others face-to-face, that person is in a position to make a big contribution to the peace of mind of nervous readers like me."

I enjoy face-to-face readings and I'll try to answer your questions from my limited experience. (I'll use the Tarot terminology "querent" to refer to the person who's asked for a reading.)

"First of all, what do you do when people are not entirely serious or sympathetic?"

The key thing for me about any reading is that I try not to get emotionally involved with the querent. I try to form a wish that the reading comes through me not from me. I make a wish that the reading comes from the highest in me to the highest in them.

If they don't seem serious or sympathetic, maybe they're nervous? How do I know? I focus on myself and the reading.

"Second, how do you know if you are ready or competent to take on reading for others?"

That's a tough question. I think you know when you're definitely not ready but if you're not sure, then maybe it's time to take a risk if the opportunity comes up?

"Third, how do you proceed with the reading itself?"

I spend a lot of time on helping the querent to phrase their question. Avoiding questions that look for a yes/no answer. We don't proceed until we're happy that the question is worded as satisfactorily as possible.

This is a big, big part of the reading.

I always use Yarrow stalks and say that we're going to consult an ancient Chinese oracle that Confucius would have consulted as an ancient Chinese oracle.

I explain that for each line there are 4 possible outcomes and I write down

6 Moving Yin
7 Yang
8 Yin
9 Moving Yang

(With the appropriate broken or unbroken line next to it)

Then I consult the oracle getting them to write down each line as it emerges.

People have described it as hypnotic. One person said, "The stalks seem to have a life of their own".

"How do you explain a complicated reading to someone who first learned about the Yi moments before?"

What you have to do more than anything else is think about the question that you asked and how the answer relates to their question.

It's tricky but you don't have to explain every detail. Start at a very high level and ask them for feedback all the time. Get them to talk about whether any of it fits at all. Make it very interactive.

"How do you know when you?re finished, and how do you bring closure to the reading?"

Now that's a great question. I remember one occasion when it got to about 1:30 a.m. and I said to my friends, "I think that's enough now".

So I obviously have a problem with this one myself :~)

But sometimes, you can really feel that the querent has had their question answered and that's the moment to stop. (Think hx 52).

I hope some of this was helpful.

Best wishes,

Mick

 

[lindsay]

Thanks so much to everyone for sharing their thoughts and experiences so honestly. I guess I?m not the only one who feels an icy tingle on the back of my neck when an acquaintance casually asks me for an instant reading. Sooner or later this situation happens to everyone involved with the Yi. I still think face-to-face reading is a neglected topic. Isn?t this the mode the ancient Chinese always used for divination, on-the-spot, spontaneous and public readings? Can you imagine standing before the emperor and all the powerful nobles of the empire, and interpreting your instant reading on an issue like war and peace or the emperor?s marriage plans? Gulp!

Dear Candid,
So many wise words! Everything you say seems to be on target. You approach face-to-face readings with a degree of confidence I can only admire. As you say, if the rest of us did this sort of reading more often, and practiced at it, we would probably do much better. Maybe one key is focusing more on reading the inquirer and less on reading the Yi.

One point that intrigues me is your offer of either ?clinical? or ?personal? readings. Especially interesting is the idea of a ?clinical? reading. How can you do a reading without knowing the question? My interpretations tend to be so tailored to a specific question that the same reading can be strikingly different for two different questions. Do you have a sort of ?generic? reading in mind for each hexagram? Does each hexagram articulate general principles that can be applied by the inquirer to their own question? It seems to me that Wilhelm is a very good (possibly the best) translation/commentary for this kind of reading, since he is most concerned with general, abstract, philosophical meanings. I?d love to hear more about all this, especially details of how it works.

Dear LiSe,
I really think your approach of simplifying the material and concentrating on the inquirer is the way these readings should be done. Candid suggests a similar technique, although you offer a little more detail on how it works. I especially like the idea of proceeding step by step, from the easy to the complex, depending on the response of the querent. No need to shove the same material down every throat! Also, if it is true that ?many people can find original meanings themselves,? what does that say about the Yi? Perhaps the Yi is not really as arcane and obscure as we sometimes suppose?

This is the second or third time I?ve noticed you mention that you consult the Yi before going to bed. The time of day people like to consult the Yi interests me very much. For example, I get all my brilliant ideas and cosmic insights between 6:00-9:30 am. After that, I?m just my plain dull self, and it gets worse as the day wears on. Consulting the Yi at bedtime ? is this part of your ?nightwork,? along with dreaming, subconsciously thinking about problems and issues, and accessing the Unconscious? I?ve awakened in the morning with some of my best ideas fully developed. Who knows where they came from? Perhaps sowing the field with the Yi is a good way to go down into sleep.

Dear Louise,
I find it extremely interesting that you?ve ?never seen face to face I Ching readings advertised anywhere.? This is also true in my part of the world (New England, US). Nearly every town has at least one card-reader and palm-reader, and many have local astrologers. But no advertised I Ching readers!

About fifteen years ago the American journalist Frederick G. Levine spent more than a year interviewing professional psychics, receiving psychic readings, and talking to people from all walks of life who had visited psychics for a wide range of reasons. ?Psychics? for Levine included professional card readers, clairvoyants, astrologers, healers, channelers, and other metaphysical consultants. Levine presented his research in a very interesting book called The Psychic Sourcebook: How to Choose and Use a Psychic (Warner Books, 1988). Here is what Levine found out about the professional use of the I Ching:

?Very few Western psychics actually use the I Ching for professional readings. However, many tarot readers and rune casters frequently consult the book for their own personal guidance. The value of the I Ching in terms of fortune-telling lies in the depth of its approach to divination in general and the lessons it affords to all psychics, whatever method they use. If you find a psychic who has been studying the I Ching, even if it doesn?t make up part of his professional services, chances are you have located a skilled reader who truly understands the spiritual value of divination and who will be able to help you with your own personal growth.? [p. 181]

What do you think about that?

May you all find love today,
Lindsay

PS - Mick, thanks for your great reply! I have just seen it, and need time to think it over.

 

[candid]

Hi Lindsay and thank you for your complimentary reply.

Yes, I do use Wilhelm mainly and always start with it when reading another person. I've been pleasantly surprised to find that many see something in it that they can relate to. When presented as a clinical reading, I present only the text and commentaries. I also present the change lines to them as this is something they most often relate to since it deals with the specifics of their reading. The text, as you know, is laid out as ideas which provoke thought. If the one I'm reading for feels comfortable (largely my responsibility) to comment on their thoughts, it opens up dialogue between us where we can then exchange ideas about how it applies to their situation. That brings it into a more specific application and graduates to a more personal reading. Then, some are satisfied in what the text said and I let it go at that.

There's another distinction I should make. There's a difference between an I Ching reading and an I Ching lesson. To one who only wants a reading, that's all I provide to them. If someone wants the time they don't need to know how to make a watch. Others have a greater degree of interest in the subject and that changes my approach in that I explain the processes and go deeper into philosophy of I Ching, synchronicity, et.al.

Basically, I'm a minimalist by nature and so great preparation isn't at all necessary nor is an array of research and texts. I'm an advocate of the K.I.S.S. principle. (Keep It Simple Student)

While I?m rambling a bit, I?ve learned that trying to persuade or influence someone usually has the exact opposite affect, closing doors rather than opening them. On the other hand, active listening tends to lower defenses and open doors, so I encourage their input while keeping a guard on my jaws. I ask questions and listen carefully to their responses. I try not to answer questions which they have not asked. One could call it plowing the field while not counting the harvest. It eliminates any ulterior motive I may have which would again cause them to raise their guard. I think this is expressed in #61: ?One must first rid oneself of all prejudice (or agenda) and, so to speak, let the psyche of the other person act on one without restraint. Then one will establish contact with him, understand and gain power over him (open him/her). When a door has thus been opened, the force of one's personality will influence him (without effort or intent). If in this way one finds no obstacles insurmountable, one can undertake even the most dangerous things, such as crossing the great water (help them to cross), and succeed.?

Peace brother,
Candid

 

[louise]

Hi Lindsay its interesting that Levine found many psychic/clairvoyants consulting I Ching but not actually using it to give readings. I live in Britain and there are not even any I Ching readers in Glastonbury, where every other form of healer/reader gathers. I have noticed however that on 2 different occasions when I have consulted a 'psychic' Wilhelms translation, sitting on a shelf nearby.