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Receiving same lines in Hexagram 4

I

i2k7

Guest
Hello

I don't normally get hexagram 4..... but am getting it a few times in relation to an intractable situation. I've tried to shorten this post but it's still long.... sorry.

The lines I'm getting in hexagram 4 are generally seen by the people on this website as quite 'nice' lines to get. If there's anything 'nice' in my current situation I'm at a loss as to where it is.... I'm in a lot of pain, stuck with this person's 'bad behaviour' (they have a history of behavioural 'incidents' - walking out on bosses and leaving work in the middle of a shift, stealing a significant amount of money from work, upsetting co-workers, falling out with close family, extreme disrespect towards other close friends - I don't just mean heated arguments or slammed door or two, but nor do I mean fisticuffs - somewhere inbetween).

As usual it's about a split between people, although this time it's between two very close friends, not romantic partners but nevertheless a very psychologically intimate friendship, initiated by the other person and responded to by me, and I still find myself in that dynamic - always the respondent, rarely able to much influence the general course.

This friend has been a source of love and deep acceptance in my life, and it's been totally mutual. For a long time the friendship was a very healing one for us both; the kind of friendship that modern society doesn't value or understand, but which used to be common in previous eras. It's a very painful wrench to lose it, as it's so rare.

My first question was a wrongly-phrased one but nevertheless sprang from a great need to get to grips with coping with my loss and shock. I believe that the I Ching would respond appropriately to that, although not necessarily by answering my question as put.

The question was 'I thought I was loved - I want to be loved - is that so wrong?' (yes, yes, I know..... but I'm human and was in turmoil :) and I do tend to be self-critical)

The response was 4.2 > 23

The next day I asked 'Is that it for this friendship? What about all the recent and not-so-recent signs of enthusiasm, warmth, and happiness freely sent my way? How can it flip to this so suddenly?'

(Again, a sort of stupid way to phrase the question, I know.)

I Ching's answer was 4.5 > 59

And the following day I didn't so much ask a question but presented a summary of my predicament and sought what the I Ching had to say on the matter: "I have no-one supporting me and this is an awful experience.... help!"

I Ching's answer 4.2.5 > 20

Well, thought I...... there's a pattern here lol.

Searching the forums here the interpretations for hex 4's line 2 and 5 are generally quite 'positive'. Some people quite delight in the meanings, and there are certainly 'worse' lines in hex 4! Karcher's Yijing is one that I've found far too positive in my experience, so I'm tending not to believe his views like 'All will go well. The Way will open and lead to real connection and understanding. Be patient and have faith' - would that that were true! Although 'this young son can control the dwelling' could fit - the person in question admits he acts like a child, often a spoilt one, and we all know that they're not the ones who treat people well, and often get their own way. But that wouldn't apply if the 'child' is not a brat but actually refers to zi....

The interpretations on this forum are generally more down-to-earth and realistic. Yet still I find the view of these lines puzzling in this situation. Receiving this hexagram jolted me, and these lines jolted me again.

I get that the I Ching's saying things about being open to learning from the experience, and not having preconceived ideas and so on, stripping all of that away and letting the experience be the teacher. I don't have spiritual beliefs/philosophies about life, otherwise I could put a 'New Age' spin on it about learning lessons etc.

Hilary comments on line 2:

"A tremendously fresh, open line. Why should today bear any resemblance to
yesterday? If you have no set expectations, anything could happen. The challenge is to
hold and nurture this state of not knowing, not to be in a big hurry to fill it."


I'm not feeling anything fresh or open. On the contrary, everything's shut down and rancid. Today's another day, but so far they're all the same..... full of bad treatment and rejection when I'm giving my best whilst trying to stay firm in protecting myself.

Also:-

"When all certainty is stripped from you, you realise you don't have a clue about who you are or what you're doing. What can possibly come next?"

What's happening for me is that I'm returning to myself, the self I was before this friendship came into my life. I'm returning to hobbies and interests, and qualities I have as a person, that have been slightly lesser during the past few years. So it's more like knowing again who I am and what I'm doing. But yes, not knowing where I go from here is a source of pain. Taking the pressure off needing to know 'what next?' reduces that pain, so I can see some sense there in getting this line in this situation. But the truth is I don't want to go back to my previous life, because it was empty, and it now is again.

"I get a very strong feeling from 4.2 that anything is possible now."

I'd love that to be true, but really can't see it at all. In many ways, not just socially, my life is a void and has been for years. And not a pregnant void at that! :rofl:

As for line 5..... it seems it's just as, if not more, 'positive' lol

"Line 5 returns to the way, finds spiritual core and guidance."

I certainly am not aware of this at present..... the whole thing's a mess, a f-up, a disaster. And my life in general isn't far behind that state either. There really isn't anything much left - money, work, social life, love life, family, all mostly or totally gone. At the time I most need a good ally or two, I'm cast aside to fend for myself.

Still, at least I didn't get 4.4!

(nobody say 'yet.....' lol)

If anyone's read this, thanks for reading, and anyone who feels like they want to comment their thoughts, or maybe how these lines work for them in their lives, feel free. I thought it'd be useful for me to go through the process of setting out my thoughts rather than just reading the forum threads about hex 4 in my head, if nothing else.
 
M

meng

Guest
i2k7,

I went through a long run of 4's a few years ago, unlike any repetitive run I'd ever experienced before. It wasn't at all a "nice time". I'd been diagnosed with an incurable heart disease, the company I worked for sold out, and I was nearing 60, so I wasn't exactly a hot candidate for a decent job in the small town I had moved to. I didn't have health insurance nor the resources to afford medical tests, which were required to receive disability. Meanwhile, I was receiving a long string of varied 4 readings, all saying I didn't know what would happen, which of course I didn't. Through a peculiar string of events, a way opened for me that I couldn't have seen coming (4), including discovering a provision for Viet Nam era veterans to receive medical care, and taking early earned retirement.

4 is not knowing, and there's no sin in that. Line 2 requires an unassuming attitude toward meeting the future, and being willing to take responsibility for doing our part to reach it.

Be like an expectant child, and expect good things. You already know there's no future living in a void. Line 2 goes out to make its own future, it is capable of doing so. Help comes when the right attitude toward the future is found and practiced.
 
I

i2k7

Guest
Thank you meng..... and how could I have not noticed before that your forum name is that of this hexagram! I don't pay much attention to the Chinese names when I'm examining the texts...

What you've written is worth a lot - thank you. An anecdote from someone's personal experience is immensely helpful, grounded as it is in reality.

I hope you received the help needed for your health issue, and still do so - a very trying situation indeed, and then some. Wishing you the best of luck with it.
 
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