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recurring 61

klann

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Hi everyone,

I have been trying to figure out the essential meaning of 61 as I have been receiving it a lot regarding a relationship which is stuck somewhere between wish and reality.

I met this guy three months ago through work and we “clicked” immediately: excellent communication, excellent understanding, same sense of humour, we like same things, we hate same things, plus physical attraction.
But.
When we met he was in some kind of break-up with a long-term girlfriend, not knowing where he was, which he stated clearly and I accepted. What confused me was his definition of the relationship which was: “Whenever we break up I realize how good it is without her and I hope it won’t continue.”

Things continued developing between us, we spent a lot of time together, had a lot of fun, but never crossed the line of actually getting physically involved, although two times we were on the verge.

A month ago, he got back with her. I don’t know the details but I realized that he is still confused, that they broke up (since then) two times, but then I decided to remove myself from the situation a bit, as feelings have developed between us, the attraction has grown strong, and I find it painful to actually pretend we’re just friends, to listen about the two of them getting on and off again...

Our assignment at work being over, we are not forced to communicate for the sake of job, but we are in contact as we both miss each other, but I feel stuck, knowing neither what to do nor what to expect.

61 has come up as the answer to many questions through various phases of these three months– what attitude to take? Where is this all heading? ... and now I got it unchanging to the question “What is the future of the relationship between us?”

I would appreciate your help with the interpretation...

Thank you in advance.
 
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blue_angel

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Hi Klann,

I am no expert on readings, so much that when I read the senior experts on here's interpretation I am in ah, like wow! That makes so much more sense that what I had thought. But just incase it would help, 61 is about inner truth, as you probably know. What is your inner truth? What do you see? Also, you say "between wish and reality", Hilary says something about "what we wish for can become reality, or we can visualize and manifest our own reality" in her take on 61. So maybe face your inner truth to the situation, keep wishing/visualizing what you want to manifest, and wait until the time is right. Have you asked him what his feelings are for you and where he wants this relationship to go with you? Did you tell him how you feel and what you want? It doesn't sound like he's ready and it doesn't sound healthy for you to be stuck in the backseat while he's going back and forth to his girlfriend. Most of the time "I" think we need to be completely free after one relationship and have space to heal and grow before going straight into another relationship or we run the risk of projecting that old relationship onto the new love interest. So as my advice, I would just work on you and following your spiritual path, not focus on him so much, kind of put him in the corner, out of view, but don't close the door to what could develop in the future when the time is right. Best I can do
 

klann

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Hi Klann,

I am no expert on readings, so much that when I read the senior experts on here's interpretation I am in ah, like wow! That makes so much more sense that what I had thought. But just incase it would help, 61 is about inner truth, as you probably know. What is your inner truth? What do you see? Also, you say "between wish and reality", Hilary says something about "what we wish for can become reality, or we can visualize and manifest our own reality" in her take on 61. So maybe face your inner truth to the situation, keep wishing/visualizing what you want to manifest, and wait until the time is right. Have you asked him what his feelings are for you and where he wants this relationship to go with you? Did you tell him how you feel and what you want?

It doesn't sound like he's ready and it doesn't sound healthy for you to be stuck in the backseat while he's going back and forth to his girlfriend.

Most of the time "I" think we need to be completely free after one relationship and have space to heal and grow before going straight into another relationship or we run the risk of projecting that old relationship onto the new love interest.

So as my advice, I would just work on you and following your spiritual path, not focus on him so much, kind of put him in the corner, out of view, but don't close the door to what could develop in the future when the time is right. Best I can do


Thank you for the reasonable post :)

All has been said between us, yes. It has been a completely honest relationship right from the start.

I agree with you on all points, with just a small additional info: I have put him in the corner, but he doesn't let himself be put out of view - he makes a small, but distinct contact every day. I respond but don't develop on it.
I guess that, yes, not focusing on any of it would be the healthiest thing for me to do. It's just that 61, in this case, kind of explains the current situation rather than the development I asked about... Or this will turn into an everlasting trend...
 
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blue_angel

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Dear Klann,

I am sorry you are going through this, perhaps its time to set some limits or boundaries with him, be firm about where you stand. But, you have to do what feels right for you. This happens to me a lot, I get answers that describe the situation and don't necessarily tell me which way to go, I think that's because its our choice which way to go. For me, I try, (I don't always succeed at first) but I try to go the path of least resistance and also the path that is a little less painful. I think, "life is a ride, am I enjoying this ride? No? Where's the next train stop so I can go another direction" but at the same time... I'm learning to ride a little slower. If that makes sense. I like to ask questions that say something like "if I do X, what will the consequence be?" Or "if I do X, what benefits will that have?" And I like the question "what is the reality of this situation between X person and I?" Its hard to stay with the here and now, so often I want to know what will happen in the future, but sometimes I only get here and now answers. I guess because that's what we need at the time in order to grow and learn before we get to the next stage. I hope everything works out for the very best for you. :)

Blue_Angel
 

kalikari

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“What is the future of the relationship between us?”
61 unchanging

So wind blows over a lake easily and accepts it with an open mind. Looking honestly into your heart what kind of trust have you established in this friendship? You are very generous with your patience.
He must be quite special in that you feel you can connect so openly with him? Truly?
I for one, would have a hard time if a guy was courting me and still sleeping with his ex. I think I would have trust issues later. But only you can look in your heart honestly and feel if this is the right way. If it's true, then maybe things will develop, somewhere across the great river together.:bows:
 
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klann

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Dear kalikari and blue_angel,

thank you so much for your insights, which I find very interesting on many levels.

What I find particularly curious, is that both of your response are based on sensible, down-to-earth logic rather than the IC analysis. And especially given the fact that I find 61 a little bit more spiritual than other hexagrams.

I am a very reasonable person who tends to observe the situation very honestly (sometimes even brutally to myself), sometimes ask people close to me what they think and how do they perceive the whole issue, and come to a solution which is very often very accurate.

However, this friendship (which it is not, as my relationship with my friends is absolutely not filled with this kind of physical/emotional tension) or whatever it is, totally confuses me. It all developed so easily and spontaneously, we both enjoyed it so much and now I put a stop on it exactly because I started feeling oppressed, exhausted and sad. And that's not what I want. I'd like things to go back to how they were, but that naturally is not possible. It's like... I am not sure how to explain the feeling... it's like you're playing a computer game and you pass level after level, and you tremendously enjoy playing. And then you come to a level for which you need a password which you don't have. So, you're stuck where you are because you cannot keep playing on that level; not only because that's not how it goes, but also because you have surpassed the dynamics of that level. You just have to move up to the next one, or you have to quit the game.

That's where I feel I am with him at this point.

And I hate that feeling, and that's why I have asked IC, and I don't understand 61. And I like your reasonable responses :)

Yes, kalikari, I also think I am very generous with my patience and, yes blue_angel, I also think I have to set limits.
61 confuses me insomuch that I cannot grasp the point/the advice but I guess it just reflects the present situation... so, I guess I should just be doing what I reasonably felt I should be doing, and IC (and the two of you) just reconfirmed my thoughts...
 

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