rejection issues 17>16

[goddessliss]

In my new job I'm as embraced, and expected, to be part of their family. I'm struggling with this a little bit - well maybe a lot and realised it's my fear of rejection that's bothering me and I've quite possibly offended some of the family which is the last thing I want to do.


please show me how I can move forward to overcome my rejection issues

17.1.5>16

I know it's time, overall, in my life to fit in as I've spent so many years as a 'hermit' and have become somewhat comfortable with that and believe although I'm lonely I'm also 'fine' on my own!!!

17 - following without resistance
line 1 - get out there and join in with others - go with the flow
line 5 - and I will find others I resonate with

So basically it means if I overcome my fears, just join in, I will find I'm easily accepted.


thanks
Liss

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi goddessliss,

The easiest way to dispatch the fear of rejection is to get accepted.

In the "Duke of Zhou Changes", Fields has it:

Hexagram 17 ~ Your primary plea is heard ~ no harm will come

Line 1 ~ Omen: There was a change of residence
Counsel: "Omen of good fortune" and "Associating with others outside will bring results"

Line 5 ~ Omen: Captured at the celebration
Fortune: There will be good fortune

Field's commentary:

Line 1 ~ "The second counsel pictures someone crossing your path as soon as you leave the gate of your house. This omen predicts success in your venture."

So ~ fortune favors the bold ~ if you step towards the family, then they'll open their arms to you ~ and soon you'll meet someone at a celebration for whom acceptance is only the beginning...

Good luck!

 

[Sixth Relative]

Hi goddessliss

When the question is how to.... I focus my attention on the Image, and then I read the lines as complemetary info.

17zhi16: you need to stablish your secure place for rest (hex 17's image).
Indeed, although going out actively to interact with others implies a change in your behavior, it is the right and fortunated thing to do now (17.1), you can develop trust on people's goodwill and sincerity (17.5). But you still need your own privacy, your own space, your own restoration time for your soul to recover from the exhausting interactions. Secure that space, and you'll have the energy to move-with-joy among this new family.

Many people can't realize how exhausting social interaction can be for introverts. Wish you can find a joyful balance, where you can develop trusting and accepting relations while keeping your space for solitude and restoration.

 

[Trojina]

In my new job I'm as embraced, and expected, to be part of their family. I'm struggling with this a little bit - well maybe a lot and realised it's my fear of rejection that's bothering me and I've quite possibly offended some of the family which is the last thing I want to do.


please show me how I can move forward to overcome my rejection issues

17.1.5>16

I know it's time, overall, in my life to fit in as I've spent so many years as a 'hermit' and have become somewhat comfortable with that and believe although I'm lonely I'm also 'fine' on my own!!!

17 - following without resistance
line 1 - get out there and join in with others - go with the flow
line 5 - and I will find others I resonate with

So basically it means if I overcome my fears, just join in, I will find I'm easily accepted.


thanks
Liss

Hmm I see the 16 here as your ideal of how you 'should' be yet you will always follow your own nature or that which you naturally evolve towards in 17. Are you sure this is about your rejection issues and not just about naturally being who you are ? I think you are now in your mid 50s and I tend to think by that time we do know ourselves pretty well. Not everyone wants to be full on part of a family, especially someone else's family. The idea in 17 of following the demands of the time : 'A noble one at nightfall goes inside for renewal and rest' (Hilary's book), also makes me think it's important for you to get enough alone time resting in private.

I also thought the 17.1 might encourage you to keep lifelines open beyond the role you are currently in. If you are spending a lot of time with the same people it's refreshing, makes one feel less confined, to go out beyond the household and meet others even on Skype calls or whatever. Then when you return you can feel more centred. I think 17.5 shows you committing to your highest values. I don't know what they are of course but I am a bit less inclined to see this reading as advice just to 'fit in'. In fitting in you also need to room to be who you are which may at times mean taking time for yourself. I don't think people will be offended when they understand it is part of your nature to need to spend time away from others. It's true people often don't understand this. I have a relative who always liked to spend some time by himself on holidays and so on. When he went with a group of friends one year they couldn't understand this. I know it is part of his nature, not due to rejection issues, he just likes time to wander off by himself. If you feel this is for sure about your rejection issues of course you know best, I just wondered if it really was.

 

[goddessliss]

Thanks radiofreewill, Sixth Relative and Trojina - I think in some way you're all right. I do enjoy mixing with them but not so much their extended family and sometimes I enjoy the tourists they have who stay in their holiday accommodation. Reading your interpretations reminded me of my introverted ways and that not everybody understands that, as Trojina says. I 'mm someone that needs that time away from others in rest and recuperation and many times much prefer to read a book that interact socially. Even with my own friends and family I'll wander off on my own if it gets too much.

 

[loverofknowledge]

Hi goddess liss - since you're away from home, your old routines are disrupted, is that so? There's an inherent vulnerability in that and greater need, oftentimes, to have time for yourself. I think the Yi is saying to follow your inner compass, trusting in your instincts about the balance between interacting with others and being by yourself.

 

[ontheroad]

This is a very old thread without me updating. I ended up having to escape for my life literally from these people.
17.1 was a lifeline from a neighbour who got me out of there. No easy task as we were in the wilderness of Western Australia
17.5 it took me a long time to get over this very traumatic experience