Relationship 27.5, 16.4.6, 14.2.3 and 47.3

[Pallas]

My situation is with my partner with whom I have been for 10+ years and with whom I have kids. There have been a lot of up and downs over the last 3-4 years especially due to his unemployment. There have been several other problems he will not/ has not addressed. This has subsequently put more and more pressure on me which has resulted in a major career shift for me and home life adjustments.

In addition, we have gone into counseling together which has exposed several major concerns about his behavior and attitude.

Based on this background I have asked a few questions.

What will be the effect of X trying to improve him self? 27.5 >42

I read this as a lot of talk with little concrete improvement. Or is this increase in improvements to himself?

How is X changing? 16.4.6 > 23
Based on reading the forums and my impression I see 16 as X is enthusiastically trying to make progress (line 4) with line 6 referring to this being a delusion. I am not sure how to read 23 in the context of stripping away bad things or that this is referring to not changing (line 6)?

What is delusion in last reading ? 14.2.3 > 21

Great possession to justice/biting through. I read this as capacity to offer a lot (line 2) but a sacrifice is needed (line 3). In this case he continual proiritizes himself above the family. This results in a fight when I bring it up. This is coming out in therapy. I guess the delusion is regarding him changing or addressing the actual problem?

Finally, I asked "What is my best course of action regarding this relationship?" 47.3 to 28

This is bad. 28 is stress or overload, which I have been experiencing and recorded a lot in the last 6 months from the Yi regarding life and this situation. 47 is confined and not trusting what the other person brings/ says. Should I just wait to see as 47 cautions against actions while being hemmed in? Line 3 is referring to not seeing each others perspective maybe.

Any insight is appreciated. I am worried that I am seeing all of this negatively when there may be good things to come ( hexagrams 27, 14 and 16). I am exhausted (28 ) from this whole situation so the last reading could just be reflecting my state back to me.

 

[diamanda]

What will be the effect of X trying to improve him self? 27.5 > 42
Someone doesn't make any concrete endeavour (doesn't cross the river) and just stays at home.
Another person increases the stay-at-home person. So I guess he'll just continue not working.

How is X changing? 16.4.6 > 23
16.4 shows a charmer, and he sounds to be the charmer in this situation.
16.6 shows someone sobering up - perhaps counselling has broken his spell over you?
23 shows that the whole illusionary situation breaks down.

What is delusion in last reading ? 14.2.3 > 21
Someone packs up and moves away (14.2).
And an inequality in give/take - one person is generous, the other is a poor miser (14.3).
And 21 shows anger.
Is he trying to bully you by making fake threats that he will leave you?

What is my best course of action regarding this relationship? 47.3 > 28
Split from him (even if temporarily) to give him a flavour of how unbearable (28) it will be for him to live without you.

Line 3 is referring to not seeing each others perspective maybe.

You're already seeing his perspective - which seems to be that he doesn't want to work, or do anything else for you and the kids. You said his behaviour is bad, he always puts himself first instead of your family, and every time you try to discuss this he gets pissed off. This is not a problem of you not seeing his perspective. The problem is his unacceptable behaviour.

 

[Pallas]

Diamanda

I am amazed at your insight and depth. Thank you for responding.

Regarding 27.5 that is spot on. I have felt that he makes no concrete effort to change.

With 16.4.6 I have seen through this charm and I have begun preparations to possibly leave or force him out since he cannot afford our current place anyway.

14.3 he has been miserly in giving and I have given too much. Hence I am angry with the lack of effort and he is angry that I have asked him to do more - bullying does fit in this.
I was looking to either (14.2 and 47.3) pack him up and kick him out or worst case leave myself with kids. However, I think him fending for himself a bit is better.

I greatly appreciate the response as this confirms much of what I was thinking in a very uncanny way, you were able to see more information than I believe I shared.
Wow!

 

[Pallas]

Diamanda

I am amazed at your insight and depth. Thank you for responding.

Regarding 27.5 that is spot on. I have felt that he makes no concrete effort to change.

With 16.4.6 I have seen through this charm and I have begun preparations to possibly leave or force him out since he cannot afford our current place anyway.

14.3 he has been miserly in giving and I have given too much. Hence I am angry with the lack of effort and he is angry that I have asked him to do more - bullying does fit in this.
I was looking to either (14.2 and 47.3) pack him up and kick him out or worst case leave myself with kids. However, I think him fending for himself a bit is better.

I greatly appreciate the response as this confirms much of what I was thinking in a very uncanny way, you were able to see more information than I believe I shared.
Wow!