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Relationship break up... 60.1> 29

mozzer

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Hello,
I interrupted a relationship with a woman a few months ago. When we were together I had made a request relating to our relationship, and I got 36, unchanging. Shortly after we parted badly, after having had a bad debate, about different lifestyles. Now I asked how I could get closer again to her and I got 60.1> 29.*It seems to me a clear invitation to let go. What do you think?
I worry especially the danger represented by 29... Could this situation be so dangerous?

Thanks.
 
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pocossin

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How could I get closer again to her?
60.1 > 29


You have the two hexagrams of burial, the state of your relationship. Should you attempt to resurrect this relationship? You initiated the split by a "request" that was apparently a demand. She refused to comply, and apparently hard words were spoken. Unless you have changed and are willing to forgo your request, even if it is reasonable and just, further attempts at relationship are pointless. You could, of course, attempt to renew the relationship by saying, "I apologize. I was wrong." But don't do this unless you truly believe it.
 
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blue_angel

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No, 29 is not always so dangerous. In fact I have yet to experience it as true danger. 29 is also the background of where you are coming from, not necessarily where you are headed. 29 can be seen as a repeat of lessons. It's as if we have to repeat the lessons until they are learned. So then you would have to ask yourself "what have I learned from this relationship?"

I am curious if your reading relates to the ending of your relationship. The reading seems to describe what you wrote above. You "interrupted the relationship, it ended badly, after having a debate..." Because in 60 if the limitations are too restrictive, you can not flow on or out.

I think when the Yi points back to the situation that occurred, its as if you are being told, "Take a look at that debate and why you ended the relationship in the first place, there you will find your answer."

Line 1 shows you knew when it was okay to go outside of yourself, and when it was best to stay within. You believed you were right to stay within and without. So I think it may be possible if you return, that old debate will most likely resurface, and if you aren't careful or haven't learned how to work through it, you'll be right back at 29 again. Not that 29 is dangerous, but the emotional rollercoaster can really suck. Or a more positive way to look at is as "growing pains".

For 36, we hide our light in order to not be wounded. I get 36 more often than not, when I myself am afraid of being emotionally wounded and want to hide away.
 
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blue_angel

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I wrote without seeing Pocossin's post. My apologies. I agree with his take.
 

mozzer

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Pocossin, seems like you know me and the situation better than I do!
You really helped me, I think things are exactly the way you said.
You're so wise...! So let me ask you: would be anyway good to apologize (sincerely, of course)?
Even if i found that she's not the right person for me? We hurted each other, and i feel sorry.
I would apologize anyway, even if three months are passed.
 
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blue_angel

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Thank you Pocossin, I enjoy learning from you very much. :)
 

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