Relationship Diagnosis and a Couple Other Questions

[samoyedgrrl]

Hi all!

Please forgive me, as I asked a handful of questions to the IC about this "on again"/ "off again" relationship with Terry that I'd like to get your take on. It's just that we're kinda "on" right now, but maybe not really, and it makes things difficult to understand exactly where I stand. Thank goodness for the IC to keep me balanced, as I think just the emotionality of it all could send even the most centered individual into a tailspin. Argh! Men!

Okay, here goes....I asked Jesed's diagnostics to start:

General Diagnosis of the Relationship 64.3 > 50
My Position in the Relationship 52.3.6 > 2
Terry's Position in the Relationship 61.6 > 60

Then added these questions:
What is the Ultimate Outcome of this Relationship? 24 Unchanging
Does my Future Involve Being Married to Terry? 9 Unchanging

Here's my take on things....the general diagnosis (64.3 > 50) says that I need to be patient and look at the bigger picture. The time of transition for us into a more stable union has not yet happened, but it is near.

My position (52.3.6 > 2) is one of wanting physical closeness with Terry. The sexual element is in this casting, which I agree with wholeheartedly, but I think it's really telling me to focus more on not pushing Terry. I need to chill out, find peace within and just wait for things to unfold as they will.

Terry's position (61.6 > 60) is that of words, but not actions...or then again, this could be the time he's receiving a "wake up call" about relationships overall. His rigid ideas are being tested against his inner truth and he's realizing they don't match. Terry was hurt badly by his ex-wife (she cheated on him, remarried the 'other man' and now has a young child by him now), so I think this hex is telling us he's being forced to deal with his past hurts and move on.

I had a manicure recently, and the tech held my hand up and said, "See these? They're all fingers, right? Each one looks different and has a different purpose. Just like women. You may all be women, but each of you are totally different. He needs to learn that you aren't going to be just like his ex-wife." The technician shook his head in disgust. Who knew I'd find wisdom in a nail salon? :bows:

I think the "ultimate outcome" question (24 Unchanging) is telling me to hang on. Things will turn around for the better, and we'll be on the path together once again.

And the last question about being Mrs. Terry someday (9 Unchanging), I think it's telling me to chill out again. I feel trapped, blocked, unable to progress in the current situation. It's like I'm stuck and not ever getting anywhere, and the IC just patted me on the head and said, "Patience, child, patience. It will get better."

I really appreciate your take on these castings. I am still trying to focus on other areas of my life that need attention, like my business, my health and preparing for that 5k. (Yes, I'm running now six days a week! I can do a two mile without too much issue at this point.) However, it's the loneliness and the confusion brought about by Terry that has me rattled here. Thanks again for taking the time to help!

 

[pocossin]

Does my Future Involve Being Married to Terry?
9 > 9

☴ ☴
☰ ☰

Hexagram picture: Shoe Return.

Overall judgment: The casting is auspicious because of the luck given by an old shoe in the marriage tradition.

Text:

9J
The Taming Power of the Small
Has success.
Dense clouds, no rain from our western region.

Rain delayed, but it does fall in the ending of this hexagram in line 6.

9I
The wind drives across heaven:
The image of The Taming Power of the Small.
Thus the superior man
Refines the outward aspect of his nature.

Legge says: "The name Hsiâo Khû is interpreted as meaning 'small restraint.' The idea of 'restraint' having once been determined on as that to be conveyed by the figure, it is easily made out that the restraint must be small, for its representative is the divided line in the fourth place; and the check given by that to all the undivided lines cannot be great."

 

[willowfox]

As I don't like jesed's silly questions I will jump to Hex 9.

Which suggests that the potential to become Mrs.T is certainly there but there are obstacles to overcome as you already know, so it will be a slow process, like wearing away a rock.

 

[samoyedgrrl]

I consider myself a newbie in regards to the IC, and thought I'd try on Jesed's questions in regards to my situation in hopes that it would bring me more enlightenment. I'm glad to see that my additional questions were met with positive feedback. Sometimes I worry about asking questions like "Will I marry", as I think they can be silly and a bit selfish.

Thanks, pocossin for the Legge interpretation. I had not looked that up, but I like the "old shoe" wedding tradition reference. It definitely sounds good, err, auspicious!

Willowfox, I had to laugh at your comments on Hex 9. Yeah, it does feel like water wearing down a rock over here. It's excruciatingly slow, in my opinion. But I am pleased to see that the potential is there, even during the times when he thinks I'm not what he wants. It's like the wind sometimes, it can change in a moment. I really have to believe his uncertainty is due to prior hurts from his ex-wife.

Sometimes, honestly, it suits me just fine. I'm also trying to work through my past relationship issues and would rather just be left alone to deal with things. I am optimistic that there will come a time when it will all gel and we'll wake up (hopefully at the same time) and say, "Oh, wow, you're what I've wanted all along!" It is my expectation that when that occurs, we'll be ready for the relationship then. Until that time, Terry can keep working on his healing process and so will I, with a few breaks for conjugal visits. LOL!!

 

[gato]

What is the Ultimate Outcome of this Relationship? 24 Unchanging
Does my Future Involve Being Married to Terry? 9 Unchanging

there is no ultimate outcome, everything changes.


h9 - dense clouds, no rain . it could be but is not sure.

General Diagnosis of the Relationship 64.3 > 50

is not a good time now. trying to force things will end up bad. be patient.

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Thanks, Gato. It sure does feel like your interpretation of Hex 9. It could really go either way at this point, no one really knows for sure. However, the IC has told me all along your words of wisdom: do not try to force things and be patient.

I guess the reason I keep getting that message is because that's the approach I have to take with him. Terry is an analyzer and needs time to take things in. He doesn't jump into anything in his life. (He works in the insurance field, in risk management - how appropriate!) He examines the current situation and looks at the probable outcomes by taking action in several different ways. I remember a conversation early on in our friendship, where he said, "I look at the outcome and consequences of taking action A versus action B, and then think about subsequent unanticipated ones as a result." He prides himself on "always thinking two steps ahead". Good thing he's cute. (LOL!) I think by adding in a past bad relationship and fears of it happening again, the poor boy is in analysis paralysis, as they say. So, anything can still happen at this point.

I thought that since I've apparently got romance on my mind, what about him? I asked the IC "Does Terry want a romantic union with me?" I received 63.1.2.3 > 29.

I think the IC is reminding me of my own feelings of being vulnerable and that I need to be strong, do not go running after him. I'm not sure if the "seven days" has any bearing on my situation or how, but in the end if I follow my heart and are sincere in my actions towards him, I believe it's saying yes he does. But of course, check back soon, as things with Terry can change quickly. LOL!

Thanks again for the input - this is a very interesting reading!

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Any thoughts on hex 63 > 29 and the seven days reference? I'll be paying attention to anything that happens next weekend, if that's significant. LOL!