Relationship, money, the future. Sigh.

[flyingbird]

I married someone who didn't have strong economic prospects but is working to get to a better place. Of course, how it actually plays out is up in the air. This person is responsible and hard working, but there are structural realities that keep one from ascending to the stars. I, myself, was born into advantage but have had terrible luck career wise. I am mostly supported by family despite trying very hard to become independent. So, as a couple, our financial base is... not strong. I enjoy being together (for the most part -- there have been major hurdles and fights unrelated to money) but I've also always been a huge romantic and a dreamer who has been able to sustain such feelings because I've been supported by family financially. I'm not looking for romantic answers to my questions, the hard question I am forcing myself to ask, if this relationship will just lead to dissolution and sadness because of the realities of life. Love is good, but if it means that I can never have my creature comforts, to be honest, I don't know if I want that. I have been asking the I Ching about our relationship.1) Are we blessed or cursed by the stars? What is our relationship like? 22.1.6 --> 15- We are harmonious. We have good communication. We can be ourselves. We are elegant and have good taste, despite our meager means. We make do to live well. 2) What is the reality of our financial future? 33.3 --> 12Attached retreat brings danger. I think this just means that it will be difficult. Perhaps there will be a big struggle to get ourselves out of the stagnation. I'm not sure what the line about the auspiciousness of keeping servants (or "slaves and concubines" in LiSe's translation) really means. Getting help?? Making other people do the work (how would one even do that)?3) What if I left the relationship and found someone of better means? 6.2.4 --> 20It would be an idea, not necessarily an achievable reality. I can't bare the thought of being with someone just because of money - this person would have to have excellent character and share my interests. Harder than finding a needle in a haystack. I believe this is what 20 Contemplation refers to -- a convenient daydream, not necessarily an achievable reality. 4) To stay or exit this relationship based on the harsh realities of life, my own personal needs, and what potentials we may or may not have: what is my advice? 35.1.3 --> 30Advancing. Especially in LiSe's interpretations, these lines seem very much about chasing prosperity and pursuing radiance. In terms of staying or leaving, I have to say that I almost feel like this is telling me to leave the relationship. What do you all think?----Disclaimer: please, no posts about being independent and self sufficient and etc etc. I'd really just like the I Ching readings to be interpreted on their own and am not looking for advice outside of these readings. Thanks in advance.

 

[Liselle]

Oh dear.

One thing that occurs to me - Yi didn't give you hexagram 37, but it's been said on this website that one possible message of 37 is that a family and a home kind of aren't just about loving each other; a home and family are an economic unit. Everyone doing their part, filling the role that's theirs to fill, etc. So what you're saying about love

---oh wait. I just noticed you've become a "guest." I'm sorry to see that.

Well in case you ever look at this, I haven't come up with any good ideas yet about most of your readings, but I did have an idea about the first one.

What is our relationship like? 22.1.6 --> 15
Line 1: ‘Making your feet beautiful. Putting away the carriage and going on foot.’
Line 6: ‘White beauty. No mistake.’

22 can be about appearance, so maybe Yi's saying that your relationship is exactly what it appears to be. 22.1 might describe what that is - that you'll have to "go on foot" as a couple, rather than have a carriage. There won't be shortcuts or expediencies. Things like that. Now - Yi does also say, "Making your feet beautiful, so I think there might be some room here for "this won't be all bad."

But it depends, as is often the case with Yi, on what the "tone" is. I could feel 22.1 as a freaking lecture ("use your feet! don't expect a carriage!") OR as something much kinder - that you might end up finding the process rewarding or even beautiful. (Which, I know you're saying that's not true now, and that's very understandable, but there might be a future perspective here.)

I once had 22.1 about filling in an online form. I forget what the problem was and the question I asked, but I thought Yi's message was "just step through it manually and methodically." I did, and it worked.
(That example is probably not terribly applicable to your question....)

Line 6 - this might reinforce the "it is what it appears to be" thing. I'm sure there's more to be said about it, though.

These things are only what I thought of when I looked at it - who knows whether it's correct.