Relationship problems

[jching]

I have been with my partner for 1.5 years. Recently, we went through a 2 week rough patch. His mom got sick (she lives with him.. she has been having bad health issues for a long time) and it was just too much pressure on our relationship. He basically started a fight, completely out of the blue. We took a 2 week break and now we are back on a sort of a trial...We talked and he wants more support from me in taking care of the house etc. I believe I have been doing everything and more and I felt it never was appreciated by neither of them. If anything, I feel like his mom did not want me to "take over the house" so I tried to help without stepping on her toes. Very difficult situation...

Well, we are working it out now. And I asked a bunch of questions. I hope you can help me interpret them...

First I asked about the future of our relationship. I got Hexagram 48 unchanging. I did not know how to look at it so I tossed coins again and got 37.2.4.5 changing to Hexagram 14.

Then I asked IChing for advice in this difficult time and got: Hexagram 50.1.2.4.6 changing to Hex 36

Finally, at the end I asked what will happen in the future with my boyfriend when it comes to starting a family.. something I really really want.. I got hexagram 41.6.

Any help would be greatly appreciated...

 

[yxeli]

Hello Jching. I'm sorry to hear of the current angst in your relationship, and from what you've posted, it seems like a series of events have brought about this current trend which are completely out of your control. This should give you some relief I hope. To know that this event (the mother's illness) is happening which has little to do with anyhting that you have purposefully helped maifest, should bring great relief and a certain distance from what you are now experiencing.

the future of the relationship: 48 unchanging.

48 unchanging is an interesting hex to draw as regards the future of a relationship. I recently got it when asking abut a relationship issue of my own. What i've garnered from this answer is that the resources are there, the way of reaching deep down into both you and your partners depths is available, but you must go to the well to retrieve them. Posssibly 48 raises the idea of seperation ( the well doesnt come to you, you go to it.) and the only way to resolve any residue is to come together. make the effort to come together and discuss things deeply. you must reach a common ground, a starting point that is stable in order to draw up any issues that remain unresolved. The nuclear hex is 38, which is about diversity and overcoming differences in opinion.

I did not know how to look at it so I tossed coins again and got 37.2.4.5 changing to Hexagram 14.

Lofting has the combination 37>14 by way of hex 47. Now hex 47 sometimes represents exhaustion. A time when there just isnt any energy left to move forwards. But I think in this case, the idea of confinement which lofting talks about might apply. A family confined. Your partner and his mother are for the time being in a confined situation. Obviously there is not much movement available. Another way of looking at this is a literal look at the hexes. I often make up a sentence to summarise the 'story' of both hex's drawn. In this case, Yi may be drawing your attention to 'The values (14) of the family'. 14 is alot about what we choose to put value on. What our energies are engaged in fully, because of the inherent 'value' of what we are choosing to occupy ourselves with. For your partner and his mother, obviously this time is exhaustive in the sense of the amount of attention your parters mother needs. To be confined brings about a lot of anger and unrest.

However, 47 is also to do about reaching deep within yourself and learning more about your inherent way, because there is simply no external movement in a situation, so one is forced to look within. 47 situations can be very good for the soul. The individual lines you have drawn are very positive. I think yi is acknowledging your good work. Line 2, working diligently inside the home, line 4, again, your the 'jewel' inside the home holding it together. and then line five, with its emphatic statement 'Do not worry'. I think this refers, again back to my opening paragraph, that you are in a situation that is inherently not of your making, that your support you have given to your partner and his mother has not gone unrecognised, and however this pans out, you can look at all these events with a clear conscience that you have done your absolute best.

I asked IChing for advice in this difficult time and got: Hexagram 50.1.2.4.6 changing to Hex 36

This combination i believe is speakign directly to you. Not about your partner and you, not about his mother and you, not about the past, or future of anyone or any event apart from you. and your journey. 50 to me is one of the most beautiful, life changing, transformative hexs to draw. in 49, you have rebelled to a certain extent about how much your willing to take. You have watched the unfolding of events, you have witnessed the intimate reactions of your partner and his mother towards you, in reaction to an event which, lets be honest, has very little to do with you. After 49, you reach 50. The shaping of a new way. Not a new way for your relationship, its a new way for you. 36 is never pleasant. But I often think the transformed hex we draw is a snapshot of where we ar enow with a situation, so in this case, I think yi is just showing you how much pain your going through right now. The diversity and the differences mentioned in 38 are leaving you hurt and wounded. but 50 is the key here. this is Yi's warmm comforting hug to you. Look at each line,

1- your in the process of getting rid of this stuff that, ultimately, has nothing to do with you.

2- direct quote from huang ' my mate has illness', dont go thinking theres anyhting wrong with you, your partner is in a distressing situation, your not. seperate yourself from what he is experiencing and dont make it your problem. You have given your all. If he still has a problem with that, then be careful about how much your willing to take.

4- ''important work should not be given to people who are unqualified ' huang. I think yi here is saying youve done your best in a situation that you were not trained to handle. As in, you were given far too much to take on in this situation and it was unfair of the people around you to ask more of you than you could manage. So what happened? The only thing that could happen.Of course it all went tits up.

6 is saying your going to come out of this as a leader. A strong, indispensable person who has learned the hard way what she is willing to take. This advisory role might be in relation to the wonderful work you have already done in this situation. At the end of this, your personal tranformation will be strong and durable, ready to hit 51- a new awareness. This current tranformation your going through is going to give you the strenght to move in directions you currently cant invisage due to the pain (36) at the moment. But htis too shall pass.

something I really really want.. I got hexagram 41.6.

I think, probably because Yi knows you want this so much, that its given you the line that says dont think about that desire at the minute. the work your doing internally to resolve your current reality will bring about a fresh perspective on your future with this man. For me its the line of someone who is beyond looking for more, or thinking they are somehow deficient in an area. Its the sage view were wanting, needing , or pining for something lost doesnt even enter the equation.


I hope this helps, Best of luck with it all and dont worry

Yx

 

[themis]

Hello,

All castings are positive That's amazing ... the message is loud and clear and will become more so as time passes. However, the ultimate interpretations, message therein and decision, depend upon how you perceive the situation as circumstances occur and evolve.

The present situation with his Mom may be a permanent thing ... a pill ... a mother in law isn't generally known to be very accommodating ... That's secondary, a matter you can deal with in future when her health will have improved.

48
The well is a source of nourishment, like the Vessel-Hex 50

Household people
37 2.4.5>14

Line 2
Without direction releasing
located in the center, feeding
Trial, significant

(releasing in the sense of being open/forthcoming, etc. (The IC speaks to each according to his/her understanding).

Line 4
Affluent household, the great significant

Comments:
Yielding located in the position indeed.

Line 5
The king imagines possessing a household.
Beings" care, significant

Comments: Mingling reciprocal affection indeed.
Hex 14 -The Great Possessing - auspicious, you have many attributes/qualities.

50 1.2.4.6>36

Line 1
The vessel toppling the foot (a)
Harvesting, emerging from obstruction. (b)

Comments: (a) Not yet rebelling indeed.
(b) Using adhering to value indeed.

Line 2
The vessel posesses substance (a)
My companion possesses affliction (b) (describes what you're enduring re. MiL, etc)
Not me able to approach.
Significant

Comments:
(a) Considering the place of it indeed.
(b) Completing without surpassing indeed

Line 4
The vessel's severed stand (a)
Overthrowing a princely stew
One's form soiled, pitfall. (b)

Comments:
(a) Is it trustworthy thus indeed ?

Line 6

The vessel's jade rings. (a)
The great, significant.
Without not harvesting.

Comments:
(a) Solid and supple articulated indeed.

Hex 41 - Diminishing
Line 6
Nowhere diminishing, augmenting it.
Without fault
Trial, significant

Comments:
The great acquires purpose indeed.

How about that ...

 

[jching]

Dear Friends, Thank you so much. I am absolutely amazed by your answers and so grateful you took your time to help me.

Looking at your interpretations, I have to say I am hopeful that this hardship will turn to my advantage after all. I left my boyfriends house for 2 weeks and let him take care of everything on his own. His mother had to go to the hospital again so he had some time to himself. I came back this weekend and had a long conversation with him and later also with his mother and expressed my feelings about the situation...

I think I will now just put my focus on preparing food and caring for the house (as the Hex 37 predicts) and keep my light hidden as I allow myself to go through the internal transformation. I hope my value will be appreciated more now by the people in this house.

Yxeli, I never really understood the Emotional IC method but I will definitely take a look now as your interpretation of my reading was very accurate. In fact, hexagram 47 was a hexagram that was very often coming up over the last 2 weeks of separation. But you are right, I was looking at the whole problem as something to do with me and felt it was all so unfair towards me. It is however something that is beyond my control...

Themis, "The great acquires purpose indeed." Amen to that

I will keep you posted on the progress...

 

[long yi]

The family (37) needs your help and support to return to the normal way of life.
Ask for nothing in return - not even a thanks.
You have to mentor the other members of the family.
Know your place as a wife ad daughter-in-law, regardless whether you are married or not.

In difficult time, practice empathy. Be in their shoes and look at you.
You can help and make the difference.
If you want out now, no issue.
If you stay, your support without asking for anything in return is expected.

This is the Iching answer to your inquiry. If one day you have a son and he has a partner, what do you expect from her.

Difficult times bring out the best or worst of people. It is really up to you. He cannot take the stress and needs you to guide him thu this difficult times. This is what love is all about. "In sickness or in health; in good times and bad times".

Whether you choose to leave or stay, this is the least you should do. Your wisdom, understanding and mentor support is needed at this time. This is the foundation of family love. All the Iching teachings provide the above answers. "He is very lost."

Hexagram 41.6 to hexagram 19

The upper trigram is kun earth and the lower trigram is tui metal.
The upper trigram with the change line produces the lower trigram.
This is still a good match.

神煞：天乙—酉亥　福星—子戌　日禄—巳　羊刃—午　驿马—申　桃花—卯　华盖—戌
干支：壬辰年　壬子月　丙寅日　己丑时
旬空：午未　　寅卯　　戌亥　　午未

六神　 伏神 　　　艮宫：山泽损　　　　　　　　　　坤宫：地泽临
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼丙寅木　应○→　▅▅　▅▅　子孙癸酉金　　
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　妻财丙子水　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　妻财癸亥水　应
白虎　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟丙戌土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟癸丑土　　
滕蛇　子孙丙申金　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟丁丑土　世　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟丁丑土　　
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼丁卯木　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼丁卯木　世
朱雀　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　父母丁巳火　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　父母丁巳火　　

However, this is not without problems. There are two men in this hexagram (line 1 and 6) and an additional two persons (line 3 and 4) in this hexagram 41. In addition, there is one female (line 5) and the parent (line 1).

He is occupied with his problem to identify proper treatment (medication) – line 6 for his mom’s illness.
You may be occupied as a hidden person (your thinking) in line 3 to push or support him to solve the problem.

In this process, there is conflict between the parent (line 1of 19) and a female (line 5 of 19). The female takes a step back.

Line 2 may be your partner, which remain unchanged from hexagram 41 to 19.

At present, you lost confidence in him and perhaps even the physican, but this will come back after February 4 2013. You also loss confidence in the care-takers (probably medical…) in line 4.

You are concerned with a person in line 3 of 41. Only you know who this person is. This person may interfere with your partnership.

You should play a passive role to allow him to sort things out, but be supportive. Ask for agreement before doing anything to avoid burning out your time and energy.

Certain things will unfold in August and September 2013. It is extremely important to avoid conflict with anyone.

 

[jching]

Wow, Long_Yi. I am dying to know how you do this? Where is the book that gives you the information?

On majority of issues you are spot on:

He is occupied with his problem to identify proper treatment (medication) – line 6 for his mom’s illness. You may be occupied as a hidden person (your thinking) in line 3 to push or support him to solve the problem.

His mom ended at the hospital 3 times already with very low sodium. At this point, nobody knows why her sodium goes down. Each time they bring it up again, she goes back to the hospital very weak with low sodium. He is trying to figure out what to do... Who to turn to.

In this process, there is conflict between the parent (line 1of 19) and a female (line 5 of 19). The female takes a step back.

That's precisely what happened already, and I guess will continue. When she was away at the hospital, I spent days cleaning the house, from floors to walls. She felt very uncomfortable when she came back saying she does not feel like she is in her own house. So I took a step back. And will continue doing so...

At present, you lost confidence in him and perhaps even the physican, but this will come back after February 4 2013. You also loss confidence in the care-takers (probably medical…) in line 4.

I definitely lost confidence in him and our relationship. He is the one that lost confidence in the physician. And he perhaps lost confidence in me as her care-taker after our fight?

Not sure about the person in line 3... Need to think about that one.

I certainly am planning to play a passive role for now. Take care of the home.. and keep it ok with his mother...

 

[long yi]

For the medical condition you mentioned, you may wish to review the information in the following links, in particular the patient's feedback on this topic in the first link.

http://www.medicinenet.com/hyponatremia/discussion-349.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyponatremia
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/low-blood-sodium/AN00621
http://www.patient.co.uk/doctor/Hyponatremia.htm

Iching: There are no English textbooks and there are bits and pieces of information on the six line method in Chinese books and website. There are six lines in each hexagram and 5 characters are assigned to the lines. Sometimes, there are hidden lines. In addition, each line has a five element label (metal, water, earth, wood, fire). The inter-relationship between the lines and the time of the reading produces a certain detective picture to piece together the information or story.

My comments:

1. Your partner may be sometimes confused by her medical condition. This is not your fault in helping out. If you understand, this helps to restore peace at your heart.

2. You and your partner may or may not have done your reading about this particular condition. If you know more, you can freely discussed with your treating physician to plan diet, pills and medications etc.

3. According to the reading, you are the smart one who can provide wisdom, support and guidance in this situation. When you partner understands this situation, he will be more than thankful. Doctors are not experts, there are many things that they do not know.

4. In this situation, knowing little about the medical condition brings stress and discomfort on all parties involved. If you read more about the medical condition, the situation can be bought under control.

5. The patient complained about the home because she is confused. That's all.

All the Best.

 

[forty two]

Hi jching,
fortunately you don`t have to die for some informations, because there are books, but you won`t find them if you type in "six line method" at google. You have to know the original name of this divination technique.

You have to use these search words: Wen Wang Gua or Wen Wang Ba Gua, they are not sure how they shall call it, so it is sometimes written also this way: Wen Wang (Ba) Gua. This is the most important search word. Another one which is very common is Na Jia, Najia method or Najia divination. This are the main search words.

Additional names are: Liu yao gua, 6 yao, liu yao, Jing Fang Shu I Ching divination or in english: Six line method, method of six lines, six line analysis. But don`t try the english terms because there is no use ;-)

If you wanna learn this technique or even only wish to know anything about it you need a helpful person who know`s and who wishes to give you the information, because there is just a very, very little information about it in english at all at the internet. It seems that wen wang gua is either not very popular and/or a well kept secret. Probably because it can be very abused in a bad way.

This divination technique allows you to know what others will do, think and/or feel and also when. So if I reveal something here, I don`t do it without saying a few words about it:

Don`t abuse it!!! Keep in mind that this divination technique gives you a kind of power which makes you more responsible. The more power, the more responsibility is what the I Ching taught me (because I have read the texts often enough).

You are responsible for to use it wise and with only good intentions and good wishes for the inner peace of all people. Don`t hurt anybody with playing tricks with him/her because you will be able to if you learn this.

Last but not least: There is a reason why we don`t know all and what will be and so sometimes it is better not to know what destiny will bring. This has also to do with freedom, the freedom of a peaceful soul which trusts in god.

So don`t make a too big thing out of it. See it as a supplementation to the text I Ching. With the text I Ching you can find out: How, if, what, why and with wen wang gua you can find out when. It just makes I Ching divination perfect in my humble opinion.

In the hands of the wrong people it isn`t funny at all. But I can`t judge what are the wrong or the right people and knowledge does not own anybody, it owns all (the good ones and the bad ones) and should be available for all and so I will share what I could find out about it until now. I also needed a kind person who gives me the information and this was Harmen Mesker. He gave me this link here:

http://www.acmc.com.hk/Book011.aspx

Here are 3 book recommendations about wen wang gua or najia, also written by Harmen Mesker:

http://www.biroco.com/yijing/najia.htm

The inventor of wen wang gua called Jing Fang, but it is not sure which Jing Fang because there were two of them and each could be the inventor. If you wish to read more, read this great article about the 8 houses also written by Harmen:

http://www.biroco.com/yijing/eh.pdf

Many, many thanks to Harmen at this opportunity

If you wish to visit Harmen`s homepage check out this: http://i-tjingcentrum.nl/wp/author/harmen/

Iself also made a discovery and it is this very expensive online course:

http://www.feng-shui-institute.org/Ichingcourse.htm

I can`t tell you anything about it, because I didn`t order it yet, maybe later.

At the moment I try to learn Na Jia technique the way Alex Chiu is teaching it:

http://www.superiching.com/

But I have to warn you. Alex C. changes all true names of the 12 earthly branches into abbreviations like e, sh, t, h, cn and so on, this is very confusing if you study other material with the original names same time. Apart from that he calls everything concerning WWG different than it is called in original. So: This is not good for learning if you wish to read other english translations in addition, parallel or if you wish to study the original chinese texts some day, maybe.

Apart from that he mixed up all the important rules all over a text of over 900 pages and that is really an exhausting way of learning, but the technique itself works and he gives you tons of information about the practical use of Na Jia, that`s great. It is just how it is presented (unfortunately also what he presents as a person) and how it is taught what makes this site not necessarily first choice. But it is for free and there is no other site in english about it (at least I found none) so we have to be very thankful, Amen ;-) So I actually try to learn it this way. At least as long as I have to wait for the book written by Jack Chiu which I ordered.

At the moment I sort this chaotic mixed up information by Alex.C and I`m writing own teaching material for myself and if I try to help myself, finding a way through Alex`s chaos, it works fine for me. So it is actually a good way if you cannot afford expensive books or courses, but you have to work hard if you wish to learn it this way. I hope the book by Jack Chiu will making things easier. I hope this is enough information, because it is all I have. Everybody who knows something in addition about wen wang gua is invited to tell it now.


Best wishes
and a happy new year

Yvonne