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Relationship query

poltmine

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Dear friends of Iching!

I come to you for help as I am feeling a bit down lately about a relationship. I can't tell the difference if it has to do about my ego, confidence, wishful thinking, or the disastrous relationships I had in the past which has led to my way of thinking. Inevitably this is about a woman... and I just don't know what to do with her, either continue, or leave. She is crazy about me btw. And lives very far (lots of internet contact). And around the end of August she will be alot more closer for close contact and more physical development.

Please help!

Her position: 34.1 32
My position: 28.2.5 62

Why do I feel uncomfortable about this/her: 33.4 53

What if I continue? : 47
What if I discontinue: 9.1.3 59

In which direction is our relationship heading? : 45.2.4.6 59

Can't really put my head around the numbers (I am a novice to, learning!), as I am also feeling very tired about this to. Judging alone on 47 = Oppression I can only guess and see that it's not good.

Really need help with this, don't know if it's just my capricious mood, or there is really potential :( thanks!
 

ginnie

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Her position: 34.1 32
My position: 28.2.5 62

What if I continue? : 47

Her position is that she feels confident, however her sense of certainty will wear out. Your position is that you feel rejuvenated by her youth. If you continue, you will feel oppressed in general, which you already know, and so I have to ask you: Why continue? Wouldn't it be best to end it now, rather than later?
 

poltmine

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Thank you Ginnie,

Simply because I don't know. I don't why I feel moody about all of this. There is a side of me that actually loves her. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I would like to see her once she is here. It's just such a drag to wait until the end of August. I'm trying to find a legit reason as to why I am feeling like this. And I am wondering if she could be "the one" if this long wait to see her could end. It's just difficult to do things online with her.


Why do I feel this sense of oppression? 42.5 27
From where does this sense of oppression come from? 46.4 32

Show me an image if she is the one for me: 5.2.3.5.6 27
Or what is the likelyhood that she is the one for me?: 61.3 9

Whats the best thing I should/can do with her? (stop or continue): 37

Voila, here is what I don't understand. 42.5 27 seems very positive at first glance. It talks about nourishment, with 42.5 being very positive... what does this have to do with oppression? And 46.4 is about sacrifice to the intangible as Trojina once said. And 37..... family...

Makes no sense to me, starting to wonder if this has anything to do with my mood in general. :( Help please!
 
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weaver

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Or what is the likelyhood that she is the one for me?: 61.3 9

Whats the best thing I should/can do with her? (stop or continue): 37

I read the first as: you need to see how she deals with small stuff, good, bad, and everyday, to know whether she's someone you can be with in the long term.

And 37 uc - 'a woman's constancy is fruitful' - maybe since she is keen, let it happen and see how it goes? If your unease becomes too strong, of course talk to her. Do you generally feel as though you have good intuition and should listen to it more, or that sometimes your fears prevent you from doing things that would have perhaps been good and enjoyable? That sort of affects how you stand in relation to this situation. Either your intuition is saying something that is worth listening to or your fears are rampant. Which do you think it is?
 

poltmine

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Hmmm.. thank you weaver. You have putthings more in to perspective for me for a better answer. For that, it has helped me formulate a question as I can't seem to distinguish my feelings and my intuition.

What does my intuition tell me (about all of this): 40.4 7

4 - Doors will open if one deviates from an unnecessary convenience

Now, does this apply to her? Or to my fears? Where does 40 come to play? Does 40 represent my fears? It does speak of Amending. Amending my fears? Or amending my relationship?

Thank you :(
 

poltmine

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Since I am still trying to find out if 40 has to do anything about my fears or the relationship itself. I decided to do a shot in the dark question which gave me 58.5 54 with the same question: "how likely is she the one". Keep in mind though I have to wait another 2+ months before I can see her, and she still behaves madly in love with me. Can't put my finger on this and see the relation between her (positive) behavior and my fears/intuitions. Could someone please explain to me about 40.4 7? :( 58.5 looks dreadful and unfaithful.
 
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weaver

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Hi Poltmine. It does seem as though your intuition is waving a red flag. Why not listen? Is it possible either to take a step back from the whole thing, or to meet this person earlier perhaps by visiting her? Try to gain a bit more information? Both 40.4 and 58.5 don't seem encouraging in general, it's true. Most of all it does seem as though it would be worth listening to your gut.
 
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Vissino

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I would like to help but it would be better if we knew more about your relationship.
Are you in relationship now, have you ever met or is just an online relationship? I am wondering if you were faithful with her.
It seems that she is waiting for you (will you travel closer to her in August or she?) she loves you (this is what makes you feel oppressed) but you are retreating.
 
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ginnie

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I decided to do a shot in the dark question which gave me 58.5 54 with the same question: "how likely is she the one".

She is NOT the one! The I Ching has told you that she is someone who would exploit you, given half a chance. Don't give her the chance! Withdraw your affections before it's too late to do so easily and gracefully. :)
 

poltmine

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Oh wow! I didn't except a reply! Thought my post died off. Thank you so much for your replies :bows: :bows:

Well, a little update, last weekend, both of us came to the conclusion that the "internet relationship" wouldn't work until the day she arrives (closer). That will be another 2 to 3 months. So a week has gone by, and today a little simple message was made with the simple notion that all is well and she is working hard (preparing for her big move). All seems "well" I guess.

Hi Poltmine. It does seem as though your intuition is waving a red flag. Why not listen? Is it possible either to take a step back from the whole thing, or to meet this person earlier perhaps by visiting her? Try to gain a bit more information? Both 40.4 and 58.5 don't seem encouraging in general, it's true. Most or all it does seem as though it would be worth listening to your gut.

Thank you again Weaver. I guess I can now say that those lines correspond to my "gut feeling" and not to whimsical "fears".

Are you in relationship now, have you ever met or is just an online relationship? I am wondering if you were faithful with her. It seems that she is waiting for you (will you travel closer to her in August or she?) she loves you (this is what makes you feel oppressed) but you are retreating.

Hello Vissino. Here are my replies.

In a relationship? No
Online relationship? Yes
Faithful with her? Yes/No (I guess this is because it's a online relationship? With no certainty of her coming -life can always change things-. No physical feel(!!!) to see if it works or anything is allright between "us"?)
She will travel here, yes, I know she loves me. Although I can't explain for my retreating (can't pin point my feelings on this. So, question time!

What am I retreating from? 45.1.5.6 21

1. shows its subject with a sincere desire for union, but unable to carry it out --True, would like a union with her, but how can I under these circumstances?
5. Don't understand this line...
6. shows its subject sighing and weeping --true again, I suppose this means the oppression of circumstances.

21 Biting through... biting through what?

Don't know if my interpretation is correct though.

She is NOT the one! The I Ching has told you that she is someone who would exploit you, given half a chance. Don't give her the chance! Withdraw your affections before it's too late to do so easily and gracefully.

Ginnie, thank you, I take your response very literally. Would like to elaborate on this though.

What would be her motivation of exploitation? 61.3.4 1

Wow, impressive lines... but I can't tell if this would have to do about her ego? Or because of her hard past (which is coincidentally is similar to mine). I can imagine she would try anything and everything to make sure she holds on to me until she comes!

And finally. What does she intend to do with me in our relationship? 48.4.5 32
And tell me something about X? 24.6 27

Looks like she is sincere about this..... hmmm...
 
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Hi,the red flag I see here is the fact that you are asking SO MANY questions of the Yi. Maybe your style of multiple questions works for you and if so, ignore my opinion.
In my opinion,whenever I keep asking many, many questions, I am not really able to absorb and integrate the wisdom the Yi has already provided, in one or two readings.
Just on a gut level, from what I read, I wonder what the real issue is. What new decisions need to be made, if any? I mean: are you wondering if you should tell your friend not to come to meet you in August? OR, are you going to meet regardless? Is this all about inner conflict, without any necessity to take new action, right now, one way or the other?
August is not far off, a mere 5 or 6 weeks until you meet, is that right?
Internet relationships can be very murky and full of illusions.
How about just waiting to see her?
Or what's the real , pragmatic issue at stake? If there's no issue at stake, right now, how does it help to ask so many questions? Multiple questions can break your own rapport with your intuition rather than strengthening it.
 

poltmine

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Thank you for your feedback loverofknowledge! Hence why I said earlier in this thread that I couldn't tell the difference between my intuition, my whimsical moods and fears. Otherwise I wouldn't have turned to I Ching to get the right answers. :eek: :blush:
 

ginnie

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What would be her motivation of exploitation? 61.3.4 1

This would turn out to be a very turbulent relationship with periods of smiles alternating with periods of angry outbursts and hatred. There would be nothing wrong with deciding against such a relationship even though it has not shown its face to you yet. The I Ching is an oracle. It cannot spell everything out in advance, but it can and does warn us of suffering that is coming our way. :)
 

poltmine

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Oh thank you so much again Gennie! Nice to see you again :bows:

Pretty much like any ordinary relationship :bag: But if being wise enough, and learning about Iching (I keep a iching notebook with me). I suppose in this context Yi gave me a direct (different) answer as opposed to asking what her motivation could be? I would think 61 + 1 are in general positive/optimistic answers when asking about someones intention/motivation no?

:bows:
 

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