Relationship question - 17.5 (The Following) > 51 (Shock)

[sunseeker7]

Hi all, [SORRY IF IT ALL ONE BIG PARAGRAPH, BUT THE SYSTEM PUTS ALL THE TEXT TOGETHER IN ONE BLOCK - IS THERE A WAY TO AVOID THIS??]thank you for taking the time to look into my request for clarification. The question I have asked to the iChing is: "what should I expect from this new relationship with this guy?" The person I am referring to is a guy that I met 2 months ago. We are both each other's first new partner after long relationships (mine was 7 years long, but mostly long distance relationship; his was 4 years of marriage). We both broke up with our exes this past summer. I broke up with my ex because I found out that he was cheating on me, and this guy was first dumped by his wife and then discovered she immediately went with another guy. Going back to this new relationship between him and me, in the beginning we pretty much rushed things a bit, as we both like each other a lot, and we both see each other as more mature and more compatible partners compared to our previous ones. Recently, we have agreed that we are exclusive with each other, and we so started to take the relationship on a deeper and more committed level. The reason I have consulted the iChing is that even though he says he likes me and he says to be committed to the relationship, I have a nudging feeling inside me that he is not 100% honest. I'm not saying that he is cheating, but that he is not committed to this relationship as much as I am. My greatest fear is to get too emotionally involved with him to then discover he is not sure or not willing to commit because of whatever reasons, while I let myself go and put my safety walls down (what I mean is that I put my guard down and lived the relationship halfheartedly). Moreover, another reason for consulting the iching is that I have been hurt in my past relationship, and I am afraid that my perspective on the relationship may be biased by my previous bad experience, letting me see things that are not actually there. IChing's response (17.5>51) almost seems to confirm that for me, or maybe not? Is the iChing saying "just go with the flow" (following) and I will have a pleasant (??) shock that will change (positively?) my life? Or is it warning me against a possible bad shock and to hold on to the things I value the most (i.e., work, family, and friends) and not lose sight of them as this relationship may rock my world (negatively)? Additionally I have cast the question in a different fashion a first time, and got 63.4 > 49 (63 - After completion --> 49 - Revolution) - and the question was: "With which type of person am I dealing with?" (in my mind this translates as = can I trust him or not? - Maybe I should have asked that question.. but I try to avoid yes/no questions when I consult these readings). But the response was so unclear that I then rephrased the question as posted in this thread, addressing the relationship and not him and getting as you saw (17.5> 51). Thanks to you all for your time and help!!

 

[Hanna_]

My own experience with 51 was good. It was when I was afraid of something negative for myself, but 1) it didn't happen (sign of relief) or 2) something good happened suddenly and unexpectedly. I see "am afraid of" in you post too.Just general comment: not to be afraid of influence of past relationship means to say "thank you" to that man/woman for everything you have got (pleasant and unpleasant - as lessons).