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Relationship question:34-43 and 63-13. Could you help me, please?

joana

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Hi everyone!

I'm new around, so please forgive for not knowing perhaps the obvious.
English is not my native language but i'll try to make myself clear enough, because i really need help in this reading.
I got this hexagrams in a online payed online consultation, but i dont seem to grasp the kind of clear answer i was looking for.
I had a passionate relationship for 6 months, then we have gone separate ways without any sort of definitive conversation about it.
Since we both were "linked" by Skype, after more or less 1 year, he took the iniciative to get closer one more time and we were together again, only for a month.
Again we split without explanations, simply by being apart.
It was very painfull to me of course, but as we both are very proud, maybe it was the only way.
Now it has been 2 moths since we don't talk to each other, in spite of being in the same cyber space (skype).
He always calls me on new year, my birthday and i used to call in on his birthday.
But i'm really considering the possibility of not call him on his birthday, on september 15th, since i feel hurt by his silence.
But i wouldn't like if my decision lead to permanent silence from him, since for me is always important to feel good about the people that i felt deeply about.
So i asked the I Ching 2 questions:
"what kind of future in my relationship with him ?"
I got 34, changing to 43
i.e. great invigorating moving to parting/breakthrough.
I got confused...is my attitude - silence, not trying to talk to him - leading to permanet separation/parting ou is the good attitude for a necessary breakthrough, a positive change ?
Then, as could not figure it out i asked another question, hoping to be more "on the target":
"if i proceed in my intention of not congratulating him on his birthday, will he ever try to talk to me ?"
And another puzzling answer - at least for me! - 63 (after completion) changing to 13concording people/ fellowship !
Does that confirm that not calling him is the right path ou does that mean that he will never talk to me again, due to his resentment of my attitude?
Please forgive me if i've been to long on the thread and any help will be extremely helpful, since he was and still his very important to me.
Thank you very much in advance
Joana
 

willowfox

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"what kind of future in my relationship with him ?"
I got 34.5 to 43

Says that you need to first get rid of your stubborn attitude towards to him, then you can sort out the problems between you.

"if i proceed in my intention of not congratulating him on his birthday, will he ever try to talk to me again ?"
63.4,6 to 13
Yes he will.
 

joana

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Willowfox,

Thank you very much for replying so quickly.

I still have a question though, for sure because i'm a beginner in the I Ching.

As i've told this reading was made on a paid online site.

The were virtual arrow stalks that i had to pick. That was how the 2 different hexegrams - for 2 diferent questions - were cast.

Then, in the first question "what kind of future..." he said " Because you have cast a moving line, you are going to recieve 2 readings, the first covers your past and to some extent the current situation, and the second will talk about your imediate and subsequent future".

That was how i've got 2 hexagrams, for this question, the first hex. 34 and the second 43.

With the second question happened the same, again 2 hexagrams, 63 and 13.

He did not mention the lines in those hexagrams, so i have no clue if the were unchanging ones or not.

As you mentioned in yor reply 34.5 and 63.4,6, - therefore especific lines on the hexagrams - i began to wonder if the information that i'm adding now would change the insight you so kindly gave me.

Oh, and BTW, thanks for your advice on not being stuburn. Believe me, i'm not. I'm just trying to figure out a way of not being hurt again - if he really cared he could make the first step and talk to me and i would be, as always, kind to him.

Thank you very much in advance.

Joana
 
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joana

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Of course any other insight/input on this reading would be very helpful.

So feel extremely free to share your thoughts on this.

Do you feel that online payed readings simply don't work?

Is that the reason why, perhaps, you don't want to bother to even consider it?

I would understand if that is the case.

I'm just trying to figure out... at other times (6) in the past they seemed very accurate to me, but then they had deliver only one hexagram per question, not 2!!! so it was more clear the meaning about the path to take.

Again, thank you very much.

Joana
 

willowfox

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Obviously you had moving lines in your first hexs which then gave you the second one, nothing wrong there.

So, like I said 34.5 > 43

63.4,6 > 13

I will change the word "stubborn" to fixed.
 

joana

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Willowfox,

Thank you very much for your explanation.

I've already checked on line 5 of hexagram 34 and it indeed seems warning me against being fixed/stubborn.

I'll try, on your advice, to be more flexible, but i mantain my intention on not calling him on his birthday, since it seems to me that the I Ching with 63.4,6 to 13, kind of validate my choice, or i'm i wrong?

Otherwise the answer to both questions would seem contradictory.

So i will be flexible, if he tries to talks to me i will be kind, not arguing or complaining, but i won't make any move on his birthday.

I must admit i feel kind of silly with all this questions about a simple phone call, but it's important that i can make up my mind and make the wisest decision possible.

Again, thank you very much for your help.

Joana
 

my_key

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Hi Joana
You are right it is important that you can make up your mind and make the wisest decision possible as well as taking on a flexible approach.
"if i proceed in my intention of not congratulating him on his birthday, will he ever try to talk to me again ?"
63.4,6 > 13

63 -You are behaving in a way that is trying to stop you from being hurt even before there has been anything happen that has really hurt you. The relationship is there but now you are playing games. Is this really looking for a real relationship?.
63.4 - Things were good but now they are turning to rags. Think carefully on why this is. It doesn't have to be so.
63.6 - Stop looking at how clever you think you are being. This is a dangerous way to behave. Be flexible in your thinking and move forward otherwise you could drown here.

13 - Fellowship is more than playing games.

Take Care

Mike
 

joana

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Hi Mike,

Thank you very much for your kind and insightful reply.

I'm not trying to play games with him. I'm aware that i can "sound" like that but the truth is i'm just trying not to make a fool of myself by calling him when he shows no signs of wanting to talk to me, otherwise he would have done that when we are both online.

I don't believe in stalking as a solution for relationship problems.

In fact, you are right, maybe i have a problem about moving forward, about let go of this deep feeling that i have for him, and that is the reason why i asked if he would try to talk to me ever again.

Since sadly the relationship seems completely over, it would be reassuring to know that someday we could at least be friends and have a tender feeling uppon the passionate relationship we shared one year ago - and a month this year.

His silence has hurt me badly one year ago, and now still does, so believe me the last thing that concerns me is pretending to be clever.

I'm just tired of thinking that he takes for granted my feelings for him. That is all.

I can see that your view of the reading is not as optimistic as the Willowfox, and i'll try to prepare myself for the worse...

Again, thank you very much for being so direct.

Joana
 
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bamboo

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JOana, you certainly dont need to pay for a Yi reading...you can do a free online reading here at clarity.... and you can throw three coins. The only time you might want to pay is if you are paying someone to help you interpret. but dont pay for a reading!
 
D

diamanda

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Hi Joana,

Just my twopence on how your answers sound to me.

What kind of future?
34:5 - it will continue to feel as if you're butting your head against a brick wall.
43 - unless you make a clear resolution to put this behind you.

If you don't say happy birthday, will he ever talk to you again?
63 - you know well how the situation between you is.
63:4 - the situation has too many faults and cracks
63:6 - put this behind you and don't look back
13 - and then perhaps you'll manage to see him only as a friend, and it will be ok

It somehow sounds to me like, you don't only want to keep him as a friend, at
the moment, because you're still hurting, and keeping him around while waiting
for something (which he obviously can't give you) is only hurting you more. If
he was just a friend to you, you would not be agonising as to should you say
happy birthday, you'd just say it nice and simply. But it seems you're in this
impossible situation where you think you want him only as a friend, while in
reality you just want him back, and it sounds as if it's impossible to see him
just as a friend as things stand now, since his behaviour was hurtful to you
(even if this was the behaviour of a platonic friend, you'd still be hurt). So i
guess it's up to you to decide (43) if you can go down the road of totally platonic
friendship with him without expectations, or not. As, to continue like this, ie
just keeping minimal contact, sorry to have to say this, but it does not seem to
lead to a relationship.
 

joana

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Hi Bamboo,

Thank you for your suggestion.

As soon as i manage to desintangle myself of this (non) situation, i'll make good use os your kind offer.

Best wishes
 

joana

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Hi Diamanda,

Thank you for your kind insight.

I think i'm aware of the faults and cracks of this situation, so your interpretation was spot on on this.

Therefore i wish i can mantain some dignity in this definitive end.

Of course it is too soon to see him just as a friend.

I was just hoping i could get through the end without unnecessary pain - i.e. total silence.

If the interpretations point to that outcome, so be it. I'm glad that the I ching warned me in advance.

I'm always trying with all my might put this behind me.

In fact i met a guy in the gym, and seemed to me that he is trying at least to flirting me.As i'm eager to get distracted from my hurt, i decided prior to this reading, to ask the I Ching, mostly out of curiosity, if there was any chance for romance and the answer was another "bad" one : Hex. 44, i.e. temptation to be avoided, if i'm able to sumarize like that the whole range of interpretations that i've read in this forum for Hex. 44.

As you can easly see...maybe it's better for me to stick with platonic feelings, quite in line with my venus/uranus opposition on my natal chart! Lol

Thank you very much, again.

It was very helpful, really

Joana
 

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