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Relationship question: continue?: 56.4.6 to 15, break off 7.4 to 40

seekinginsight

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Hi all,

I'm in a 3,5 year relationship with X and living together since the second year.
We're making plans to build a house together but I'm starting to question my own long term happiness in this relationship: I changed quite a bit during the last 1.5 years, became spiritually aware (doing yoga, daily meditation, I-Ching, reading about metaphysics, etc) but none of this interests her and can't talk with her about this, only get strange looks and very awkward situations if I share some of my thoughts,she has a materialistic worldview (I had this in the past but my understanding changed to mind over matter).

I use the PDF from James De Korne for further interpretation (http://www.jamesdekorne.com/GBCh/GBCh.htm)

My question: What if I continue my relationship with X?
Answer: 56.4.6 (The Wanderer, Transition) to 15 (Modesty)


Lines: The fourth line, undivided, shows the traveler in a resting place, having also the means of livelihood and the axe, but still saying, 'I am not at ease in my mind.'

The sixth line, undivided, suggests the idea of a bird burning its nest. The stranger, thus represented, first laughs and then cries out. He has lost his ox-like docility to readily and easily. There will be evil.

Notes and paraphrases:
Wing: By losing yourself in the drama of a new situation and by involving yourself indetails that have nothing whatsoever to do with the development of your own principles,you detach yourself from the very foundation of your original aims. Misfortune.

Follow-up question: What if I break it off with X?
Answer: 7.4 (Discipline, The Army) to 40 (Release)


Legge: The fourth line, magnetic, shows the army in retreat. There is no error.Wilhelm/Baynes: The army retreats. No blame.

Commentary:
Legge: Line four is magnetic and not central. Therefore to retreat is natural toher. Since the place is proper for a yielding line, the retreat is correct under thecircumstances. Retreat is no evidence of failure in a campaign. When advancewould lead to defeat, retreat is the regular

Personal interpretation and feelings:
The I-Ching tries to tell me I will not be at ease with myself if I continue with this relationship because of overthinking, if I break it off I will release the overthinking and continue my own path.

What are your personal experiences with 56.4.6 and not acting upon it? Any advice?

Thank you very much,

Kind regards,
seekinginsight
 

equinox

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Obviously you are indeed not really happy right now.
Whatever you decide to do, there is a warning in your readings. Don't act hasty and be careful not to behave arrogantly and thanklessly towards her. This you would regret for sure, if not now, than later.
 
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radiofreewill

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Hi seekinginsight,

It looks like you’re at the proverbial fork in the road ~ choosing either the material status quo (56.4.6 to 15) or the spiritual life (7.4 to 40)?

~ it seems like you know how you feel inside (you’re probably not going to go back to a materiality-first mentality)

~ you’ve got warning lights blinking on the relationship monitor (danger if you maintain the status quo)

~ and, your tosses seem to confirm your sentiments (staying is disaster, leaving is freedom)

I agree with black milk ~ as long as you withdraw honorably (7.4) from the relationship, which means without blame or penalty to your girlfriend, then you will be free to follow your bliss (40) without regret.

I hope this helps!
 

seekinginsight

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Thank you black milk and radiofreewill for your comments!

I have this feeling for some time now and it has gotten to a point I can't ignore it anymore, but it really hurts thinking about the sadness she will experience if I decide to leave her, this is for both of us our first serious relationship and we are making big arrangements for the future, this will come as a total catastrophe for her.

This is the hardest "fork in the road" I had in my life so far, I'm since 2 years in search for truth and I'm really having conflicting emotions and thoughts right now.
 

radiofreewill

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56.4.6 to 15

You can wander throughout the realm of materiality ~ stopping here and there ~ and, in the end, all you will have to show for it is a pile of dust.

“What will be left of all the fearing and wanting associated with your problematic life situation that every day takes up most of your attention? A dash, one or two inches long, between the date of birth and date of death on your gravestone.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

And, the song of your story will scatter away like so much dust in the wind…

But, you already know this.

Your girlfriend, however, doesn’t know this. She’s busy doing what she’s been taught to do her whole life ~ she’s seeking safety and comfort in materiality ~ the status quo.

I would suggest for your consideration that this fork in the road, despite your deep and conflicted emotions, is only superficially about your girlfriend.

The even deeper question for you, in my humble opinion, is:

“What is True Compassion?”

Does compassion mean “suffering with the suffering of others” or is it “being present to the suffering of others”?

Put differently ~ “If you wanted to convince someone else that you’ve found a better ~ more peaceful, harmonious and balanced ~ way to live, then would jumping into the washer machine *yourself* in order to meet them ‘where they are at’ be truly convincing?”

Or, would your’s be just another opinion in a sea of suffering people ~ all thrashing around the same?

Meditating on that question might lead to clarity on which way to go at the fork in the road, and with your relationship to your girlfriend?

What do you think?

All Best
 

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