Relationship update. Oof.

[heatwave]

Oof,

We've been seeing each other for a short time and really enjoying each other's company. I want to keep seeing him, but I already know deep down that it can't progress to marriage because of mostly unspoken irreconcilable differences involving religion and values. We've been actively avoiding going deep on these topics. I've been thinking I would just continue on with things for now because it's nice to have someone who I like spending time with. However, when I cast readings about him over the last couple of weeks they are really just some of the worst lines I've ever received. For example, I asked for advice for this weekend. We are attending some holiday festivities together and I'll be spending time with his friends and possibly meeting his parents very briefly. The advice? 33.1.3.4>42. OK, bad. I'm already committed to going. I want it to be good.

I asked a follow up question because I think I was hoping Yi would tell me it's some aspect of me (thoughts, behavior, neuroses) I need to retreat from. 62.3>16. OK, now I am legitimately afraid. Probably will lose sleep over this one.

So, one more question. How can I improve the outcomes I'm being warned about in these readings? 16uc. Wishful thinking?

I've gotten into the habit since beginning to see all these dire readings without any real evidence of them showing up with him to ask Yi, can you just tell me something comforting about this? I wish I was reporting back nothing but honeymoon phase thoughts about love! It's hard though with readings like this. It makes me wonder what I'm not seeing.

 

[Trojina]

We've been seeing each other for a short time and really enjoying each other's company. I want to keep seeing him, but I already know deep down that it can't progress to marriage because of mostly unspoken irreconcilable differences involving religion and values. We've been actively avoiding going deep on these topics. I've been thinking I would just continue on with things for now because it's nice to have someone who I like spending time with. However, when I cast readings about him over the last couple of weeks they are really just some of the worst lines I've ever received. For example, I asked for advice for this weekend. We are attending some holiday festivities together and I'll be spending time with his friends and possibly meeting his parents very briefly. The advice? 33.1.3.4>42. OK, bad. I'm already committed to going. I want it to be good.

Readings should not worry you or make you unhappy and this isn't one you can just call 'bad' by any means...ahem what about the 42 there ? You asked for advice for the weekend, quite a broad question. The reading suggests you may find you want to withdraw at times over the weekend. Perhaps the people will be too much in some way but it's hardly enough to engender worry.

In general if you let the I Ching worry you it is better not to use it because you're taking it too much as a hard prediction when it isn't. Remember to scale the answer to the size of the question. The text can be very graphic so it is important to remember scale.

What is that 42 doing there I wonder ? As a sentence 'Withdrawal's Increase' How can withdrawing increase a person ? How can withdrawing increase a couple ? Maybe they both want to withdraw from the crowd and be alone more. It's stressful meeting family and friends of boyfriend for the first time, really stressful, yet it may still be a good thing to do. 33 is not only withdrawing it is withdrawing towards something better, the lower yin lines retreat into the trigram heaven. It is often necessary to withdraw to go towards what you seek.

The way he is acting, you're getting on well, he's introducing you to his parents sounds like marriage might not be a million miles away in his head..or even his parent's heads. You know people often don't fall in love with 'suitable' others, the ones they are meant to get on with on paper. People do fall in love with and marry partners with radically different views, it can work I think though not knowing the specifics I can't say in this case.

I asked a follow up question because I think I was hoping Yi would tell me it's some aspect of me (thoughts, behavior, neuroses) I need to retreat from. 62.3>16. OK, now I am legitimately afraid. Probably will lose sleep over this one.

If you ever lose sleep over a Yi reading don't use it. Was the question what you need to retreat from ? I don't think you needed to do a follow up because the 33>42 was general about the weekend but you've taken one aspect of it, as if there is one specific thing you need to retreat from, and it may not be that way at all, it may be you just want to spend time with him away from others.

Hilary's take on this line is one is exceeding in defence too much, building barriers, digging oneself into a position when it's not necessary. I tend to find it quite a pragmatic line to do with me missing something when my back is turned. But you didn't need to ask this as you asked on the premise there was one particular explicit thing you needed to retreat from. Sounds to me like it may be people fatigue you may want to withdraw from and also I wonder if his parents are seeing you as a prospect for marriage and that might be something you want to pull back from.

So, one more question. How can I improve the outcomes I'm being warned about in these readings? 16uc. Wishful thinking?

What has happened is you got into a set frame of mind that 33>42 was about some bad thing and from there went on to ask what the bad thing was ...and 16 shows you're building it all up in your mind. You can improve by realising you're are just in the process of making ready for the weekend and so are building up all sorts of images about it. And anyway what's the worse that can happen ? Maybe you won't like his friends or family but that's okay because you like him. There's nothing to be frightened of as there is nothing dangerous in the situation, it just may not be to your taste and you feel the need to be alone or just to be together with him. Scale answers down to the size of the question. If ask if I should get a haircut and get 29.6 I'm not going to be scared because there's a limit to how bad it can be, it can't be a life threatening catastrophe, it's about a haircut. Likewise your weekend, while it may be uncomfortable at times (and is more than a haircut) is unlikely to result in anything terrible - and of course what is 42, Increase doing there ? You've both perhaps poured a lot into this relationship, it's a growing thing and in the context of that meeting all his people might be something both of you will be glad to get away from, but that doesn't make it bad.

I've gotten into the habit since beginning to see all these dire readings without any real evidence of them showing up with him to ask Yi, can you just tell me something comforting about this? I wish I was reporting back nothing but honeymoon phase thoughts about love! It's hard though with readings like this. It makes me wonder what I'm not seeing.

Well 33>42 isn't dire...62.3 was a question you didn't need to ask and 16 shows what you are doing preparing in your head, imagining what might happen. 16 is really comforting because it kind of shows all the terror you have built up, well you built it up.