Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
Hello wise people,
Over the past 8 months I have had a very creative but sometimes confusing connection with a work colleague- at first it seemed he was attracted to me and I was to him, but then I found out he is married. I backed right off, taking a holiday from work to get myself straightened out about it. When I returned he was very anxious for us to go away somewhere and kept asking me on business trips to other cities, just the two of us. I refused politely, and anyway, even now, most of the time we are still doing lots of great work together.
Before I went on a month's holiday in March he offered to drive me to get my flight, via my home to pick up my bags. At this time he also took my forearm in his hand and rubbed it while asking, but I refused again, explaining the flight was the next day and I still had a lot to do. He suggested he take me to a nice hotel to rest before the early flight, but again I refused politely, thanking him, and he slowly let go of my arm, smiling. This was at work in an otherwise empty office. I left for my holiday confused.
On holiday it all seememd to fade away- no thoughts about it, had a good time. I came back 2 weeks ago, and he had lined up 2 conferences for us to attend together- one in another country in 6 weeks time. There will be others we know there. One trip will be just us two to another city. He also asked for the address to my home and suggested he come there and we go visit a centre aligned to our work in my neighbourhood.
I said ok- by now I am curious to know what is going on in his head/ heart. I feel very detached when away from him and very magnetised when I am with him- it's a lot of effort to hold on to myself, but I do so because he is married. When I am away from him I soon forget it though, I am not infactuated, but I do admire and care for him in the context of our existing relationship. We are working on a big project involving many others- co-leading it. But I am confused by my response in his presence.
So I asked the I Ching- 'how should I interpret the feelings I have in x's presence?'
I got 41.3.6 >11 - either I'm going to meet someone new, and this will stabilise the situation, or he and I will get together? I have heard from him (he is off work for 2 weeks) that he is now living at his mother's, and colleagues say he has family problems.
any advice appreciated... but reading this back it seems maybe writing it all down is all I needed to do
with gratitude for your superior counsel - Pema.
Over the past 8 months I have had a very creative but sometimes confusing connection with a work colleague- at first it seemed he was attracted to me and I was to him, but then I found out he is married. I backed right off, taking a holiday from work to get myself straightened out about it. When I returned he was very anxious for us to go away somewhere and kept asking me on business trips to other cities, just the two of us. I refused politely, and anyway, even now, most of the time we are still doing lots of great work together.
Before I went on a month's holiday in March he offered to drive me to get my flight, via my home to pick up my bags. At this time he also took my forearm in his hand and rubbed it while asking, but I refused again, explaining the flight was the next day and I still had a lot to do. He suggested he take me to a nice hotel to rest before the early flight, but again I refused politely, thanking him, and he slowly let go of my arm, smiling. This was at work in an otherwise empty office. I left for my holiday confused.
On holiday it all seememd to fade away- no thoughts about it, had a good time. I came back 2 weeks ago, and he had lined up 2 conferences for us to attend together- one in another country in 6 weeks time. There will be others we know there. One trip will be just us two to another city. He also asked for the address to my home and suggested he come there and we go visit a centre aligned to our work in my neighbourhood.
I said ok- by now I am curious to know what is going on in his head/ heart. I feel very detached when away from him and very magnetised when I am with him- it's a lot of effort to hold on to myself, but I do so because he is married. When I am away from him I soon forget it though, I am not infactuated, but I do admire and care for him in the context of our existing relationship. We are working on a big project involving many others- co-leading it. But I am confused by my response in his presence.
So I asked the I Ching- 'how should I interpret the feelings I have in x's presence?'
I got 41.3.6 >11 - either I'm going to meet someone new, and this will stabilise the situation, or he and I will get together? I have heard from him (he is off work for 2 weeks) that he is now living at his mother's, and colleagues say he has family problems.
any advice appreciated... but reading this back it seems maybe writing it all down is all I needed to do
with gratitude for your superior counsel - Pema.