Relationship woes continued:

[candida]

Friends, I am not very good at understanding the hexes even after reading them. Some are very understanable though; however, I have a learning disability so I can use help please.
In a post earlier, I posted about a relationship I had with my physician. I am married to a man in a wheelchair, just to let you know who I am if need be.
Anyway, I asked Q: "What about the relationship I
had with K(the doctor)
A: 18 2nd and 4th lines

Q: "What can i do to work on what
has been spoiled?
A: 13 6th place
49
Q: Should I write and tell him ev
erything on my heart?
A: 36 1st and 3rd
2
I repeated this last questiononce more for more clarity and got Q: Should I write and tell him ev
erything thats on my heart?
A: 60 1st 3rd and 5th

Help Please

 

[angel]

Dear Candida,

Don´t feel alone because you cannot understand the hexagram texts. Actually, nobody can fully comprehend them. They were writing in Chinese by many people through the time.
Let me give you an I Ching book recommendation, that can help you to deal with this, ?The everyday I ching? by Sarah Dening. It´s a small , cheap and easy book.
Don´t be in the ?hell of mid? as you said in your last post, try to relax and live. You said you needed to feel life, so do it! Enjoy the great things you have in life and stop blaming yourself for other?s attitudes. There is no way to brake sentiments. They just flow. That is why you need to have your mind in peace in order to find your way through them.

My personal view is that your are asking questions and answering at the same time:
1.- What about the relationship I had with K?
Your Answer.- Spoiled

2.-What can I do to work on what has been spoiled?
Your Answer.- Write him and tell him my feelings.

Your double third question ? Should I write and tell him everything that is on my heart?
Is the one that has no been answered yet. So, in case the situation is still the same, here is my personal view of both answers. Please, keep in mind that is the first time I do one reading mixing two answers.

The first answer to your question are clear, ?Hide your light? and ?limitation?. That means Now, is not the right time to act, limit your desires.
Since life is a never ending cycle this situation will change in due time more o less like this:

Lines 1..- Present situation: ? Not going past the door, no blame???when there is somewhere to go. Those in power would gossip?. This line, tell you no to act now, some problems may appear. Does gossip tell you something?

Lines 3.- Internal situation later in time: ? Capturing the other?s great leader: this is not a call for a hasty resolution?. ?If she is not moderate, then it will be ?alas?, but no misfortune. Everything needs time. Stay calm and wait for the right time. No need to run.

Line 5.- External situation.- Possible outcome: ? Limitations are sweet now, promising. To continue has merit?. The reward for your patience is here Candida, limitations you have here will change for good and then will be the right time to act.

So, give it time, listen to yourself, enjoy present life and let change surprises you. It will be for your own good. That is my personal view of your reading but it?s up to you to decide what it?s useful and discard what it?s not. You have a community here delighted to listen to you.

A.

 

[candida]

Hi Angel,
I am so grateful for your time and concern and after reading your thoughts, it does indeed seem time for me to wait. I can often "read" the initial thoughts of Ching, but get bogged down because I don't know if there are underlying meanings. So, of course I will try to get the above mentioned book on payday. I wouldn't even be in this position in my mind if I hadn't let my heart wander, but my marriage has been in a very sad state. My husband who is in a wheelchair has had very little impetus to do anything in life and we never had much in common. I still love my husband and have no thought of leaving him but there is much missing in our union. Its hard to live like this. Then when I met the doctor, we had so many things in common. We shared many thoughts and he even told me he thought of me, but not love as of yet(he is a practicing catholic and I Baptist so we have some convictions) The Ching said that we were soul mates, bylords I think was the word. Did I get the meaning right? Also, because the doctor is a catholic he won't marry a divorced woman so if I did leave my husband for him he would not marry me anyway, so that is one answer to the puzzle.
As for the time of waiting Angela, I suppose it would not be a good time to tell the doctor that I fell in love with him would it? It sure hurts to know this and not be able to do anything about this. Plus the worse thing is doc hired a new office assistant and he had his eye on her. Perhaps it is just being flirtatious on his part but if it is anything more he has the moral right to do that and I don't. I've been thinking about switching doctors so I don't have to see him (out of sight out of mind) but my husband likes him as a physician and wants us to stay with him. My husband knows I have deep feelings for the doc but
not to what extent and I don't want to hurt my husband. But because I admire your insight and advice i will not act now. Please keep in touch.
I forgot to mention, yes I do think there was gossip, you were probably right on the money about this. I was sending doc letters(only friendship, no talk of love)to his office and the office girls must have been gossiping.

 

[angel]

Dear Candida.
You have been blessing with the gift of having a lucid mind in dark situations. You know what to do and what road to take, but your heart is confusing you. From your post:

Your marriage:

?has been in a very sad state. My husband who is in
a wheelchair has had very little impetus to do anything in
life and we never had much in common. I still love my
husband and have no thought of leaving him but there is much
missing in our union. Its hard to live like this.?

I like to write things down when I?m confused, Maybe this works for you too. Take a pen and a paper and write down the questions and answers to the following questions:

1.-Why is my marriage sad?.
2.-What am I doing to change this situation?
3.-How can I change this state?
4.-What do I think is the cause of my husband?s attitude?.
5.-How can I change this passive attitude?.
6.-Since I love my husband, when was the last time I told him?.
7.-I am really married with someone with any common interest?
8.- It has been always like this?. To a negative answer: when did we change ? Why?.


Your doctor:

?I met the doctor, we had so many things in common. We shared
many thoughts and he even told me he thought of me, but not
love as of yet(he is a practicing catholic and I Baptist so
we have some convictions) The Ching said that we were soul
mates, bylords I think was the word. Did I get the meaning
right? Also, because the doctor is a catholic he won't marry
a divorced woman so if I did leave my husband for him he
would not marry me anyway, so that is one answer to the
puzzle?


Questions:

9.- What things do I have in common with K?
10.-What can I do to to make my husband interested in these things? If any.
11.-What I am doing with a man that ?cannot? married me?.
12.-Do we have any future together?

Some remarks about this paragraph. I have not found any place where the I Ching said someone is somebody else?s soul mate. Where did you find it?

Your Present situation:

? I suppose it would not be
a good time to tell the doctor that I fell in love with him
would it??.

You know it.


The future, what to do:

?. I've
been thinking about switching doctors so I don't have to see
him (out of sight out of mind) but my husband likes him as a
physician and wants us to stay with him. My husband knows I
have deep feelings for the doc but
not to what extent and I don't want to hurt my husband.?


You have already made a decision here, so be strong and stick to it. Time makes miracles.


Keep your questions and answers at sight, so you can often see how your are working in your marriage. This will help you to have in mind the right road to walk by. Try to implicate your husband in your life and vice versa. If you really love your husband and you feel he does the same about you, things must work out for good. Line 5 is very promising, so start today the rest of your new life.

A.

 

[candida]

Angela, once again thank you. One of the biggest insights was Q: No. 11 " What am I doing with a doctor who cannot marry me"? Very good point
because no matter what else is being said about the situation, the ground rule is he won't marry a divorced woman so either way that leaves me out, cause no matter if I divorced my husband I still wouldn't get him. No matter what I am going to go on with my life, love my husband in any way I can find and let fate take its course. Good advice to myself don't you think? Candida