Relationship woes

[candida]

I asked Ching "What is happening in my relationship with K and got: 21 Biting Through w/change in the 4th position--One knawing the flesh, getting pledges of money and arrows" What does this mean? In the paragraph in Hex 21 it said it would be advantageous to use legal constraints. What does it mean? That K will use legal restraints against me or I to him? Thanks for any help. The relating Hex was 27 Nourishment with no changeing lines.

 

[eubie]

Hi Candida,

It's an interesting question you pose. I suspect that you probably ought not take the mention of legal restraints literally, but it does imply a need for reform of your situation, and energetic change on your part. It also says that you need to be clear-headed and determined. The moving line 21.4 emphasises that it will be difficult, but that if you are persistent you will succeed.

If you look at the moving lines from 1 to 6, you'll see an interesting progression from feet to head, and a corresponding progression from mild change being required to stop the situation getting worse, through to it being almost too late to undo the damage. You are somewhere in between and therefore, the situation can be sorted out.

Euan

 

[lenardthefast]

Hi Candida,

Regarding Hex 21 in the translation I use the most for relationship questions there is the following;"Personal relationships without defined guidelines, reasonable expections, reciprocal considerations, and clear paths for the future are now in danger of dissolving in the chaos being generated by the current situation. Misunderstandings and confusion will become more common unless firm, clearheaded action is taken to dispense with whatever you percieve to be an obstacle to union."

"There could not be a more appropriate time to examine your character and determine the extent to which any delusions, rationalizations, or habits have usurped control of your judgement. Know what you want, know what makes you feel good about your Self, know what brings you into harmony with others. These are your guidelines and principles. Other factors that assume control of your behavior or your health or that create inner discord are the obstacles that must be overcome".

With regard to changing line 4 it goes on to say "The task facing you is indeed difficult. That which you must overcome is in a powerful position. Be firm and perservering once you begin. Good results come from being alert and exercising continous effort."

With regard to Hex 27: "If there are difficulties in your relationshops take note of the quality of what you give to others. Do you offer inspiration or discouragement? Do you focus on what is wrong with particular situations or on what could be right? The correct Nourishing of those close to you is vital to your sense of well-being, for such supportive activity will ultimately come back to you in kind. This cycle of Nourishing will have an indirect yet profound impact on your life."

"Additionally, you should exercise unrelenting discipline over your thought patterns. Cultivate only constructive opinions and attitudes in order to properly nourish your character. Avoid excited and opinionated outbursts; instead, express yourself with moderation. Pay special attention to what you allow to enter your sphere of awareness, and at the same time, avoid excessive indulgences."

Many times in the past when I have thrown the cast you have received there were substance abuse problems involved in the equation. I am not implying that this is the case here, just giving you the benefit of my own experience. I hope this helps in some small degree.

Namaste,
Leonard

 

[candida]

Leonard, many thanks for the reply. In a small way your answer has helped. I know that there are 2 obstructions in my pathway in my relationship, both of which seem to be impossible to overcome; at least for the time being. However, 21 seems to give me some hope in the relationship and to try and give some structure to my inward self. There is no drug involvement at all. I am ashamed to say this, but I am a married woman who has deep spiritual leanings, but I fell in love with another man(I still love my husband too). The relationship wasn't acted out in a physical manner, but one of the heart between the both of us. I know this from the way we talked towards one another. Now everything has changed our friendship because a new woman entered his life and I could see that this other man was elated to be around her.(He hired her on his job)I am very hurt and feel used because I helped this other man through some of the roughest times in his life by
my being a good friend. I guess I do need to work on my spiritual side.

 

[candida]

Thank you Eubie also for the much needed answers to my puzzle. Your help has been greatly appreciated.

 

[candid]

Hi Candida,

I think Leonard and Eubie made some excellent points.

The discipline aspect of 21 shouldn't be overlooked. Its as though in this case the rule is more important than the desired outcome. I certainly won't impose moral judgment upon your situation, but its apparent you already have. Its impossible to go against your inner being and remain whole. Since 21 is about biting through an obstacle, I'd suggest that it is your wholeness that is being obstructed. This includes your sense of clear conscience.

Transitioning to 27 reminds you to measure your words and actions by achieving tranquility. Once the dust settles, things will appear differently. Meanwhile, its important for you to care for yourself and those entrusted to your care.

As for being a good friend to him during his rough times, that's your reward. Doing what you believe to be the right thing, is doing for its own sake. One can not expect more.

Namaste, and welcome.
Candid

 

[candida]

Hi Namaste,
You Eubie and Leonard have been such a blessing to me as I have been in a literal hell of the mind and the senses of late. I was raised as a born again christian and cheating on your mate is an extreme no no, even though it does happen in some circles. I still love my husband, but the joy of our life has been sapped because he is in a wheelchair and he won't go to therapy, he doesn't want to go to college, etc. We live like old people and I'm only 53(thats not old in todays era). I understand his
situation must be terrible to bear, but I need to feel life. When the other man entered my life, we had so many things in common, we had a binding of the heart. I fell deeply in love or maybe it was lust. He showed me such attention and made me feel important(he was and is my physician). Many women fall in love with their doctors, and most doctors don't reciprocate in kind. And then when I saw his face light up when the new office assistant was near him , I felt betrayed. However, my husband was betrayed by my feelings for the doc. From what everyone here has told me it must be time for me to go on with my life and
gain spiritual insight. Actually, many christians would say that I should not consult I Ching because it is not of God, but I haven't been 100% convicted of that as of yet. Thanks for listening.

 

[binz]

"many christians would say that I should not consult I Ching because it is not of God"

hmm, 3 perspectives on this.
My own current feeling is that God is a formalised version of the great universal somethingness that forms everything that is not physical e.g the spiritual realm, great nothingness, pure silence, the ocean of Tao, and every other name it has ever been given. It is this great universal somethingness (I'm sure somone has a really good name for it) that makes I Ching effective, and therefore God and I Ching are of the same (and so Bhuddism, Paganism, Shamanism and all the other spiritual understandings are different perspectives/explainings of the same thing).

2nd perspective - from memory of being at a christian school when I was younger, didn't God create everything and give humans all their abilities? Then from a christian perspective, it can be claimed that the I Ching is from/of God.

3rd perspective (and possibly the healthiest)- sod what I and everyone else tells you. The truth is inside you, listen to it and if using the I Ching feels right then use it. It doesn't matter what other people think or say, no person or religion has the monopoly on being right.

Binz

 

[lenardthefast]

Dear Binz,

The name used by us Hermeticists for 'the universal somethingness' is just simply the ALL. I find it a lot easier to type. *grins*

Namaste,
Leonard

 

[binz]

L

Ta!

B

 

[lenardthefast]

B.

Y w!

L.