Relationships pattern advice

[Iva927]

Hi All.
Have been reading about I Ching for a while now and decided to ask a question about sth thats bothering me.
In the previous 10years I have been in a few relationships that all had various sexual problems from men side..it started with my first boyfriend and then continued. Since I noticed this obvious pattern and am tired of those types of problems, I have asked I Ching:

1. What I need to do to find a normal partner (without those issues).
45.2.4 changing to 44
2. What is wrong with me (or my energy) that I attract those type of men?
35.2.3.5 changing to 44

Could someone please help me interpret this?
Thank you.

 

[Hartloper]

Hi @Iva927,

nobody has responded to your reading, so I'll give it a try.

Firstly, one type of situations, in which Hexagram 44 seems to show up, is for sexual encounters and sexual attraction. You mentioned some kind of problem with sexuality with the men you end up with (no need for details ). Hexagram 44 IMO is also specifically about female sexuality and the innate powers of the feminine body. The imagery of the hexagram and lines revolve around pregnancy and birth.

You could read these casts as a sequence. First question Hexagram 45 seems to point you towards the nature of your gathering with men.

Line 2 seems to point to the question who is taking the initiative. Are the men the one who pick you and you let them win you over or is it more the other way around.

Line 4 then points to reclaiming your autonomy and freedom of choice and this will lead to "good fortune". I mean, no matter whether you are more the type who lets men win you over or, on the contrary, you are the one who initiates the flirting, in the end it stays your free choice.

The combination of line 2 and line 4 for me seem to point to getting more conscious of what it is that draws you to certain men and pulls you in, and once you've done that you can chose more freely and let those types you used to end up with pass.

There's also another way of looking at the relating hexagram, as how you personally relate to the situation, what you bring into it yourself, your feminine power and sexuality (I assume you are a woman). And then lines 2 and 4 would point you towards becoming more aware of that seductive power, which men seem to react to.

At first glance, for question 2 I would associate Hexagram 35 with rushing into situations, taking opportunities that present themselves, which mostly is a good thing, but in this specific case could also have a problematic aspect, because you end up with opportunities, which become hurtful for you in the longer run.

35 line 2 in your case could point to an inherited pattern from the mother's side, a problematic situation that presents itself over and over again until it becomes conscious, so you can resolve it and let it go. This is just a somewhat wild guess, so please discard, if it does not resonate for you.

Line 3 is very positive. It's about leaving the past behind and bringing in something new, an outside perspective. Maybe you unconsciously seek these men, because they challenge your inherited relational pattern and you secretly wish for it to change, or they match this pattern and this line points towards how to welcome influences outside the pattern.

Line 5 could point towards a desire for approval by men. So, you are flattered by being desired, that draws you in, and then you're surprised there's no real emotional foundation. Line 5 says the frustration you feel now is a good thing, because it allows you to pause, re-examine your motivations for choosing these men and make better choices in the future.

It's always a guessing game. So it depends on what resonates for you.

And the resulting or relating hexagram point to your power to chose freely (I guess, it would work for a male / male situation also, but for a woman who's chiefly interested in men, it really points to innate female power).

Not sure any of that resonates for you, and I should say the ideas come from reading Hilary's book and lots of commentary in the Wiki section of this forum, and some from reading Karcher, just to give due credit.

best of luck,

J.

 

[Iva927]

Hey @Hartloper thank you so so much for this valuable response!! Actually did not expect any so am grateful and your explanation do resonate..

Am female yes and you made me thinking..I thought its def some bad karma but guess I could have some inherited subconscious patterns as well..plus realised it could be the shame I felt living in conservative society so that could attract similar energies too. Seems like I have some work to do but in overall this reading looks positive to me.

I read about those hexagrams this week and things are more clear to me now so again, thank you!