Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
From my own experience I’ve found that it’s best that you focus on one question, and contemplate its implications and work with it. This makes things more focused and essential. So bravo to you for honing it down!Hi everyone,
I've been interested in I Ching for a while but never dared to make a real interpretation because I felt I'd be too biased, too subjective. However my current state of mind is telling me I should try so to put things into perspective and see clearer about what's best for me.
I've recently met a guy, he is younger than me and transgender. The moment I saw him, I felt 'connected' to this person. I wanted to get to know him more. A few weeks ago, I managed to start a phone conversation with him. It lasted for 2 weeks without interruption. I felt we had a real connection, a real complicity. I liked his way of thinking and the fact he speaks his mind. I also liked his vulnerability. The topics were sometimes serious and sometimes light-hearted. He told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship yet, waiting for someone worthy and for the desire to be in a real relationship to strike him. I was ok with that because I, too, feel that I'm not ready for one. So I enjoyed the idea of us getting to know one another on a friendly manner first and see where it goes eventually. But a few days ago, I felt like his attitude changed. I felt him colder, more distant, and I don't understand why. I realized it's made me feel insecure and has messed with my mind because maybe I was bothering him too much by texting him daily. So I decided to turn to the I Ching and here are my results:
How does he feel about our relationship? (In the sense of ‘where does he stand about our current relationship’)
29.1 > 60
Danger is something recurrent here. To me it seems that he is afraid. He feels like he is in danger, like this relationship could be dangerous for him. I know he is disappointed about love, he wants to wait for someone who’s worthy. He lacks self-confidence too. Would that all be linked? His fear and the fact he creates boundaries for our relationship to evolve?
Thanks in advance to anyone who'll help me
We have met through work. We work on different schedules but actually got to work together for a few days.Just a few thoughs here. With 29, you have the three-line figure called a trigram repeated twice. So you have exposure/abyss/water repeated twice.
Line 29.1 say, 'Twice the exposure. Going into the canyon’s inner recesses. Foreboding' . For me this might mean that both of you are feeling exposed and maybe need to slow down at bit - or at least that's one take on it.
One name for the related hexagram 60, is 'Boundaries'. The image shows a Lake below and Water above, and the idea I get from this is that one must build up the walls / side of the lake (its 'boundaries') in order to hold in all this water, otherwise it will just run out.
(The idea is also that you start out with something natural, like a lake or your attraction for one another, but then you need to take a bit of effort to supplement or work on this initial attraction.)
So altogether, maybe to slow down a bit, and make sure you are keeping good boundaries for yourself - which does not mean to either end the relationship or close yourself off from it.
As an aside, I wonder, have you two met in person? And how close or far apart do you live - meaning is there a distance which makes the messaging/calls appropriate in how you communicate with each other?
And I wonder if it might be time to meet each other, to spend some time together, in person? This might seem to go against the idea of going slow and having good boundaries, but I think you can still have those and meet one another in person. And perhaps doing so will dispell some of the awkwardnes and give you both a better sense of where you stand and how each of you wants to move forward.
Best, D.
I think it’s very telling that hexagram 29 comes up again. Yes, the lines are clearly indicating danger, the need for stabilizing and for not missing a message which needs to be heeded.I asked the I Ching ‘what’s the right move to make’ and I got 29.3.5.6 > 18 which I feel tells me to wait a little bit and give him time alone?
It sounds to me as though he got scared. I may be reading too much into his trans-identity but I could see that if he did want to take things further that there might be problems with that ( even if only in his own mind).We have met through work. We work on different schedules but actually got to work together for a few days.
As for meeting in person again, I did invite him. He wasn’t against the idea, just told me he wasn’t ready for a stable relationship until he felt that way, and I said it was fine, that I wasn’t ready either and that the drink was not meant to be romantic but rather to talk in person and not virtually. His attitude began to change the before our friendly ‘date’ and he canceled a few hours before.
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).