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Second chance relationship H 52.4.6 to 62 and H 2.5.6 to 56

marijan

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Hello Iching community,

I am hoping that maybe you could help me to confirm and correct my insights into the readings that I cast.

A short background: me and my ex partner split up a few weeks ago after a long term relationship, due to some difficulties connected to miscommunication and misunderstanding, but also due to some issues of anxiety, confidence and trust that I had. We both greatly loved and cared for each other, but during the last argument he said enough and decided to end the relationship saying that we became too dependant on each other. He has moved out from our house and I am in the mode of moving on but because this relationship was so dear to me I am wondering if there is anything I can do.

So I asked:

Is mine and his relationship certainly over? --> H 52.4.6 Individuality.

My insights and some other readings seem to suggest that there is stillness or stability as according to Lise and yes it is certainly over. The lines suggest I should leave it still and move on or move my mind away from trying to find a resolution. However, I somehow get that there are little things that could suggest that with persistence on those little things the relationship could not be over?

Is there anything i can do to get back with x? --> H 2.5.6

In the context of the break up initiated by X I get that if there is anything to do is to agree with the decision like a mere. The line number 5 also suggests: "Accept life the way it is and cherish it, then any life will be a good life. Make clear choices: do - with joy, or choose not to do - with joy." I guess this is saying that all I can do is to accept the break up and this could be a way to reconciliation? Or am I wrong here? And to continue this will lead to 56 good fortune through persistence.

It would be great to receive your insights on this reading, it seems quite clear to me that nothing can be really done, but if you can see something else in it please do let me know.

Thank you so much for your help and time reading this!
 

EmMacha

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I'm no expert, I am just learning with I-Ching about a year, just some observations:
I think these readings are for you marijan, they are advice re the anxieties that lead to trust issues

Hexagram 52.4.6>62
[FONT=&quot]Maybe don't 'still', don't hold a still image or vision of the relationship...allow overspilling, small oversteppings, allow things to shift, consider this a pause between chapters, a time when the waters of the stream meet the bigger river.[/FONT]

Maybe home life was too still, maybe ye got into rut, and this separation is a natural breathing space in your connection? [FONT=&quot]How were you when ye first got together[/FONT][FONT=&quot]? Were you more creative, did you do more with yourself, did ye have more fun in the earlier days?[/FONT] Maybe this is why he said that ye were too dependant on each other, that ye got too tightly bound, now it is time for breathing space, and perhaps in a few months, after time for change, you could meet up and talk.

Just be aware that, even if ye do get back together, you will never have the same relationship back.
Both people grow in other directions, returning back to walk your path together again is a different relationship. time apart can bring about a more healthy connection, or you might feel that you are happy to be friends with someone you have shared such a deep connection with, but that you are enjoying your new life.

Change your image / concept of the relationship, allow it to be a relating connection not a 'relationshape'.

Could also mean, break your own little daily rules, go against the limits, transgress the tyranny that anxieties and mistrusts have created for you? skip, dance, sing, cry, stay up late, mess the house, be free!

Is there anything i can do to get back with x? --> H 2.5.6
Again, Dance sing and be inspired, inspirational. Bring some random spontaneity into your life.
Breathe, be mysterious, even to yourself: (from LiSe)

9 at 5: Flying dragon in heaven. Harvest: seeing great people.
When the creative spirit becomes visible, it influences everyone who has a spark of it. One's own thoughts and behavior and everybody who is able to see. Associate with valuable people, who are able to give or receive value.
(Changes to hex.14)



Get free of anything that has tyrannised you, or held you trapped, take back this energy for yourself and your life:

Above 9: Overbearing dragon. There is regret.
[FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot]In the realm of the spirit, one can only follow obediently the universal laws. What deviates from them, is always wrong. If man tries to lead according to his own human laws, he shuts the door on universe, and life will fail.
[/FONT](Changes to hex.43)
[FONT=&quot][/FONT]
 

marijan

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Hi EmMacha,

I am sorry for not responding to your insights earlier - I was on holiday with my phone only on which I would struggle to respond. Thank you for your kind interpretations and taking your time to write such an insightful response. Let me now clarify a few things that you have messaged if you don't mind:

In relation to the H 52.4.6 - I sort of saw that the stillness represented the stillness of his decision to split apart and this is unmovable, certain and still, meaning it is over. Yet the advice given by the hexagram seem to suggest moving slowly, allowing time. so maybe this is related to your interpretation of the overspilling? I would like to see this as a pause rather then a definite end, would you say the hexagram is implying this? It sort of speaks of slow development and a moment of pause, transition.

Or would you suggest that the hexagram is pointing more to the past, more to the events that caused the split? The situation at home got certainly quite dull and arguments were repetitive and I couldn't see a way to solve my problems or most importantly what was wrong, which I do know and am working on it through therapy and meditation. So I am very determined to change that.

I guess overall it is saying that it is unclear if it is certainly over and it is a moment of pause, moment to rest and to think in order to eventually succeed.

In regards to the Hexagram 2.5.6

Somewhere in the forum I found this quote:

Hex 2 says a lot about being both receptive and responsive to the leading of others, the time, the circumstances, etc. In other words, you're not in charge here.

Since the question was is there anything I can do to initiate a reconciliation it is suggesting that there isn't really much that i can do. I am staying away from communication or overwhelming him with messages and so on. Yet soon will be the day when we are going to split the flat and our possessions, which I am kind of dreading. It is also interesting that it changes to 56 'the wonderer' as it seemed to be connected to the 54 and in fact I am leaving the city we live at least for a month to think about things, work on my own life and then eventually after a few months I am possibly thinking of coming back (maybe). So would you agree that the advice would be to go away and be spontaneous and creative.

Once again thank you for your insights, I greatly appreciate them!

Best,
Marian
 

marijan

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Actually I am wrong here in the title Hexagram 2.5.6 changes to Hexagram 20. Either way it seems like if I want to reconcile with X I have to be modest in my actions and work on the relationship from 'within' starting from oneself i guess, but line 5 and 6 seem to contradict each other here for me.
 

marijan

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I might be starting a monologue here, but I purchased the WikiWing and was reading upon the answers more. I think the 52 in this case like you said might not imply the end, but, once again, as you said "a pause" after the shock (the break up?). The advice is i guess that now is the period of stillness and I should keep myself still (line 4) in terms of the relationship and taking courage to stand by what i want and who i am (don't really know answers too these).

Yet the interesting thing I thought was in relation to the hexagram 2 and the 4th changing line. It refers to the colour yellow - which stands for solar plexis chakra, the chakra of ones strenght and confidence in oneself. I wonder if there are any parallels with that. Either way I think I might do some meditation connected with the 'yellow' chakra.

Saying this even if the reading became generally clearer, I am still a little lost in answers and their applicability in the realistic world.
 

moss elk

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Yellow does not stand for the solar plexus chakra in the Yi Ching.

Wrong culture, and there is not much record of contact between India and China around 900B.C.E. when Yi was written. (the Buddhist monk who brought Zen to China did so about 1,400 years after Yi was written)

The thing to remember with 2 is:
You are not the boss/the one in charge of the situation in 2. You can't control it.
 
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Trojina

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Yet the interesting thing I thought was in relation to the hexagram 2 and the 4th changing line. It refers to the colour yellow

Line 4 refers to a bag tied up/no blame no praise, no mention of yellow at all. I think this is just a typo and you meant line 5.
 

marijan

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I did think that I’m stretching the interpretation too far, but it somehow made sense if you look for references in terms of wider spread.

So would you suggest the answer to the second question is no there is nothing I can do? Any insights would be helpful l.

Thank you!
 

marijan

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Hi Trojina,

Yes it was a typo, need to correct it but the website won’t let me edit the comment. Could I kindly ask for your insights upon the readings?

Yes the relationship questions are quite mundane, but there are also deep connections attached to them which I’m wondering if are possible as well as worth to salvage?

Thank you!
 

moss elk

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it made sense if you look for references in terms of wider spread.
I have no idea at all what that sentence means, no matter how I stretch my brain.

When someone who is not in control tries to control.... it leads to line 6.
(the yellow earth dragon fighting the blue sky dragon)

Just so everyone is clear:
You fought, decided to break up, have made arrangment to do so, and now you are wanting to not break up? Is this correct? You sound divided, of two minds...
 

marijan

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Hi moss elk,

I meant that because the situation is in the present context, you can make wider interpretations on certain symbols, eg. Colour yellow.

And no I didn’t break up I wanted to stay together, he ended the relationship for the reasons connected to my insecurities and kuri codependence. But I also had time to think what I was doing wrong and I would like to work on the relationship again, so wondering if there is this possibility or should I just forget.
 

marijan

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ok, thanks, I get it you need to

If you don't mind saying your insights on how to correctly read this, they would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.
 

moss elk

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If you don't mind saying your insights on how to correctly read this..
Ok, first off.
Emma Copied/Pasted from hexagram 1. (turn the page to the next chapter (2), you are reading chapter 1)

Please clearly write out the questions and answers?
 
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Trojina

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This thread is sheer chaos. Do we even know what the cast are ?


2. 5.6 (62)
2: You are not in control here.
Be dignified, humble, respectful. line 5
Don't fight about it. line 6
62: lower your expectations here, only small things, not great things may be accomplished.

2.5.6 changes to 20 not 62. I have no idea where the 62 comes from ?


Yes it was a typo, need to correct it but the website won’t let me edit the comment. Could I kindly ask for your insights upon the readings?

Yes the relationship questions are quite mundane, but there are also deep connections attached to them which I’m wondering if are possible as well as worth to salvage?

Hard to read your post it is full of squiggles like %&***** and all that


It's not that relationship questions are mundane it's just they are the least useful questions to ask. I mean we all still ask them but mostly it's hard to determine the scale of them, do they apply just to you now, at this point in time. I'd think that is what the 52.2.6>62 was to do with



Is mine and his relationship certainly over? --> H 52.4.6 Individuality.

My insights and some other readings seem to suggest that there is stillness or stability as according to Lise and yes it is certainly over. The lines suggest I should leave it still and move on or move my mind away from trying to find a resolution. However, I somehow get that there are little things that could suggest that with persistence on those little things the relationship could not be over?

'Individuality' ? what did you mean ?


No this reading says nothing about it being certainly over, and no reading ever would in my opinion. The only way to get clarity on where a relationship is is through talking to the other person, seeing what they do and so on. Lise's commentaries certainly wouldn't be telling you anything of the kind. This cast is asking you to stop thinking too far ahead and stay centred in the now. It says something like 'the superior man does not allow his thoughts to stray beyond his current situation'. You will be able to manage this, line 6 confirms that. Line 2 shows it's very hard and you will want to go after him and you won't be able to help it but eventually you can find some peace of mind. Try not to think so long term, just one day at a time.




We both greatly loved and cared for each other, but during the last argument he said enough and decided to end the relationship saying that we became too dependant on each other.

He never should have moved in in the first place if he didn't realize the entire point of relationships is to have enough trust to depend somewhat . Also of course you don't know if this is really the reason he moved out it might just be what he said.


This concerns me


And no I didn’t break up I wanted to stay together, he ended the relationship for the reasons connected to my insecurities and kuri codependence. But I also had time to think what I was doing wrong and I would like to work on the relationship again, so wondering if there is this possibility or should I just forget.

A classic case of dickheadedness. You felt insecure and so he dumped you ! Well no wonder you felt insecure with him threatening to move out and just moving out because he couldn't handle your needs and all the time you being taken in and thinking you feeling insecure was doing something wrong. What is 'kuri codependance' ?

When you have been hanging about these forums as long as me it becomes very clear there are a lot of women in the world who think they are too clingy, too dependent and they did something wrong to drive away some dick who basically didn't even want to take responsibility for even having a relationship at all. It can't always be this way but it's a fact there are virtually zero men here saying they got dumped for being too dependent so there's a pattern, if only on this forum.


Is there anything i can do to get back with x? --> H 2.5.6

In the context of the break up initiated by X I get that if there is anything to do is to agree with the decision like a mere. The line number 5 also suggests: "Accept life the way it is and cherish it, then any life will be a good life. Make clear choices: do - with joy, or choose not to do - with joy." I guess this is saying that all I can do is to accept the break up and this could be a way to reconciliation? Or am I wrong here? And to continue this will lead to 56 good fortune through persistence.

2.5.6 changes to 20 not 56. where do you get the 56 from ? :confused:


Good Grief Moss Elk says 2.5.6 changes to 62 and now you say 56...do we know what the casts are ?

anyway I don't know if there is anything you can do to get back with him and I wouldn't be able to use the I Ching for such a question. There's nothing wrong with the question it just won't help you and I can't advise you as I have no idea.


If the cast is 2.5.6>20 and that is the only thing 2.5.6 can change to then...well I still don't know.


Problem is you see it as your fault and as something you can mend and I don't know how true that is and I don't know how true it really is that he left because he felt you were too dependent together. I do think as the one left you are naturally falling into the role as the one who messed up but I think that generally needs revisiting. So 20 as relating, the backdrop to the whole question you need to take a long clear look at this, you need time and space (as in 52) and you need to think about the fact he hasn't made you happy he made you feel insecure and in response to your insecurity he moved out so how much good is he for you anyway ?
 

Trojina

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Correction I spoke of 52.2 but that was never in the cast which was either 52.4.6 or 52.5.6 I have given up trying to figure out what the actual cast was ????

52.4.6 changes to 62 52.5.6 changes to 39


I have absolutely no more head space for this I'm afraid …...I can't take any more...literally my brain will combust it is not the right moment for me to be near any relationship questions especially where no one seems to know what the cast was...………..


but anyway overall these aren't predictions but do seem to call for space and even without the I Ching if ever you feel you are the one who messed up by needing too much you need some time and space to realize this isn't exactly true and it's not exactly that simple. 'You are too dependent so I have to leave' is a load of bollocks really. It's not going to work by the allegedly too dependent person saying 'oooh please I will try not to have any needs any more' .
 

marijan

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Oh dear, I can feel your frustration! Tho reading it all, it made me laugh of how chaotic it is. I feel like it is reflecting my life at the moment pretty well - lost my passport, got the wrong train, missed the bus - everything seems all over the place!

To clarify the readings (and I am sorry it does not let me edit my posts, which is frustrating, as for the symbols - I have no idea where they came from together with the 'kumi' correspondence bit, tho the kumi bit is quite funny)

So for the first questions is it over the cast was 52. 4.6. --> 62

the second question is there anything i can do the cast was 2. 5.6. --> 20

I guess the question 'do the cast apply to me now' is quite relevant, as I did struggle to read it from mine or his or our perspective. Also, before the wikiwing I used a handfull of websites to help me interpret the reading, hence the individuality (it came from one website). I think I will limit my sources to a few now.

Trojana, thank you for such a long and motivating insight! I feel like both logically and through Iching time and space is needed. I certainly do not want to be the sole person 'working on the relationship'. Yet to give a wee bit more context, we were together for 3 years, he wasn't that keen on relationship to start with, but then we got very close and in love and yet the last half a year has been repetitive arguments and we were just missing each other points. he felt like i wasn't listening to him when he was feeling bad as he bottles everything up and I am too emotionally needy. I must admit I am not proud of my attitude either and I certainly know there were things that I should have not said and done, but I guess, at that time, I did not know better and felt hurt. He left saying that over the last few months the love seems to have gone as he feels he became a career for me rather then an equivalent partner, he felt that we closed ourselves in from other people as well as our individual lives, which is sort of true. He kept repeating it many times in both calm and argumentative manners, but I don't think i really understood, but i guess it is too late.

Tho your comment did give some energy to me to think that even if a lot of things were connected to my social anxieties, depression and so on maybe he was not the right person to handle that. If he was willing to try to work on it together then it would be great, but as the Iching said there is nothing I can really do about it at the moment, let alone forecast any future predictions.

Are the any questions you suggest asking in this situation? (p.s. i read the relationship advice thread)

Once again thank you Moss Elk and Trojana for your time and patience with this mind boggling labyrinth (both literally and metaphorically) !
 

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