...life can be translucent

Menu

Seeing someone new 58.4

gael123

visitor
Joined
Dec 23, 2014
Messages
94
Reaction score
0
Hello all,

I would appreciate, please, a little feedback on a couple of questions I have about a new person in my life. He is someone I have been on 3 dates with now and I genuinely like him. He's ... well ... I think he's very handsome; but he's also intelligent, reflective, has had an interesting life and he's mature (early forties now). On the other hand, when we've been a bit more intimate I've not felt a huge connection, yet; I think this is partly because during conversation he has a tendency to talk a lot and not listen as much as I would hope, or at least to be a bit brusque and overly direct in some of his responses. I've put this down to nerves. Also, and more importantly, down to the fact he has just moved to my city to start a new job and is a bit overwhelmed by all the novelty, the adjustment, and the workload, which seems high.

I've also put it down to a cultural thing; I'm half-German and so is he... and he's spent more time in Germany... no offence to anyone from Germany but the other half of me is British and Teutonic directness is a bit of a cultural difference. (I'm willing to be corrected here..!)

But it leaves me feeling both liked and wanted, on the one hand, and a bit strangely unseen or unheard on the other.

I feel something is really there though at the same time. It's just intermittent; it swims up when we're relaxed with each other and then seems to disappear again.

I am sounding pretty low-key and ambivalent about this' maybe I am. But at the same time I've felt something connect with this person that hasn't been there for a long time, since my last break-up two years ago.

I have asked the Yi a few questions about this situation.

1. are X and I meant to be friends or lovers? 58.4-60.
2. what is the right connection for X and me to have? 51.1.3.4-15.
3. is there a romantic future for me and X if we try to go in that direction? 13.2-1.

Hmmm. I never understand 58.4. Is it suggesting there is something important working itself out slowly, in a restrained manner, or is it suggesting the whole situation is wasting energy? What is more, does 13.2 indicate that I ought to try to find a wider circle or that I ought to commit more energy to the connection between us? It's like the Yi is just mirroring my own ambivalence, though that may just reveal the limitations of my readings.

As for 51, it's always come up before when I am suffering from anxiety so perhaps that is the issue.

Any thoughts are very much appreciated; thank you in advance.

G
 

gael123

visitor
Joined
Dec 23, 2014
Messages
94
Reaction score
0
I sounded a bit coy with the 'more intimate' thing; I meant I don't feel like jumping into bed with him when I don't yet feel as welcomed, as close as I would like!
 

lilly

visitor
Joined
Oct 9, 2006
Messages
220
Reaction score
0
Hello Gael,

seems Hex 51 is the teutonic element you mentioned. (I am GER and know what you mean ;)

2. what is the right connection for X and me to have? 51.1.3.4-15.
Hex 51, thunder, that is a lot of energy and perhaps just a bit too much for you at least your posting reads as if (he is talking so much). It feels as if you are a more sensitive person and Thunder can be a real challenge to sensitive people. 51.4 -> Some more attentiveness is missing and line 51.4 is not even aware of it. So it gets stuck in the mud. Funny enough one of your readings refers to 58 The Lake which can be associated with mud too. The Lake prefers harmony, Thunder rather friction. Teutonics like me sometimes deeply sigh about the smooth Brits or Americans. We Teutonics say A, mean A and do A. While the Brits and Irish f. e. say: A is very nice, B is lovely, C is great .. perhaps let´s do G?

For 58.4: this line is the top of the inner Hex Fire and the bottom of Lake. This reads to me as: look at what is clearly and make a decision. You might have the chance to start a relationship, perhaps it appears just convenient ... but....

I am sure others will answer too and add some more to your readings.

bests lilly
 

charly

visitor
Joined
May 9, 2007
Messages
2,101
Reaction score
1
...
But it leaves me feeling both liked and wanted, on the one hand, and a bit strangely unseen or unheard on the other...
1. are X and I meant to be friends or lovers? 58.4-60.
2. what is the right connection for X and me to have? 51.1.3.4-15.
3. is there a romantic future for me and X if we try to go in that direction? 13.2-1.

Hmmm. I never understand 58.4. Is it suggesting there is something important working itself out slowly, in a restrained manner, or is it suggesting the whole situation is wasting energy? ...
Hi, Gael:

I begin with the chinese received text and an almost literal traslation


商兌未寧
shang1 dui4 wei4 ning2
MERCHANT ENJOYING NOT_YET PEACEFUL
Business satisfaction is not yet without conflic.
Formal relationship can be satsfactory but you ned something more casual, more personal...

介疾有喜
jie4 ji2 you3 xi3
LIES_BETWEEN SICKNESS AND JOY
There is something not helthy for you, between suffering and joy

H.58 JOY[pond / pond; joy / joy] requires a more balanced relationship.
Something that hardly will occur soon without a smart attitude from your part.
Nothing of resigning, nothing of suffering. Maybe something light and playful.
And, of course, always enjoying yourself.
Beware that even with hard work it can fail. That's why the importance of enjoying each step, of taking it with humor, nothing serious.

It's also written that joy must be guided by its own rules, never resign the yours.


Source: http://mydelineatedlife.blogspot.com.ar/2011/04/

All the best,

Charly

______________________________________
If you see garbage instead of chinese characters, please look HERE:
https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/printthread.php?t=25201&pp=10&page=1
Ch.
 

gael123

visitor
Joined
Dec 23, 2014
Messages
94
Reaction score
0
Charly that is amazing and very on the button. Thank you so much!! It was also so full of life. Lilly I also appreciated your point about the teutonic-ness of 51! Very true. And yes, I am the more sensitive one.

OK so I have an update: we went out last night and we had a lovely time. We do have something special between us; but we also spoke openly about the slowness of things. It was a short conversation when I dropped him off at his place and he said, "I'm just so tired and scattered with the new job, the new city, and I need to take things slowly at the moment, but I do really like you." He sent me a message afterwards and has been in touch today, too.

I get that; I think he's telling me the truth, but I also feel I need to be careful.

So I asked the Yi its latest thoughts.

What is the future between us? 55.1.3 to 16. Hmmm... a powerful beginning but in the end a break up?
Show me myself through X's eyes. Hexagram 5.
How should I approach things with X? Hexagram 5.1 to 48.
What is the best way for me to communciate with X? Hexagram 9

I'm confused again - are these saying "hang on, keep in this, just don't rush" or is it saying "move on to wider horizons"?

Thanks a lot!! I really appreciate your insights...
 

lilly

visitor
Joined
Oct 9, 2006
Messages
220
Reaction score
0
Hi Charly, just one question - where is the MERCHANT coming from? I never read of a merchant in the the various YI translations. That´s completely new to me.

MERCHANT ENJOYING NOT_YET PEACEFUL
Business satisfaction is not yet without conflic.
Formal relationship can be satsfactory but you ned something more casual, more personal...
 

charly

visitor
Joined
May 9, 2007
Messages
2,101
Reaction score
1
Hi Charly, just one question - where is the MERCHANT coming from? I never read of a merchant in the the various YI translations. That´s completely new to me.
Hi Lilly:


The first character of the translated line 58.4 is:

shang meaning COMMERCE and being the name of the SHANG DYNASTY that were MERCHANTS, as can be seen in the story of WAG HAI, one of the most revered Shang's Ancestors, but that's another story.

Coming back to 58.4, two TRADITIONAL well known english translations, not too literal of course. The mine tried to be SHORTER, more LITERAL and TAILORED to fit the consult, but of course, nobody's perfect!.

䷹兌: Dui:
九四:商兌,未寧,介疾有喜。

The fourth NINE, undivided, shows its subject deliberating about what to seek his pleasure in, and not at rest.
He borders on what would be injurious, but there will be cause for joy.​

Legge's translation
Source: Chinese Text Project http://ctext.org/book-of-changes/dui

Nine in the fourth place means:
Joyousness that is weighed is not at peace.
After ridding himself of mistakes a man has joy.

Wilhelm / Baynes translation
Source: Akira Rabelais http://www.akirarabelais.com/i/i.html#58
All the best,

Charly

________________________________
For seeing chinese characters instead of garbage use THREAD TOOLS / GO TO PRINTABLE VERSION at the page heading. Or get the printer friendly version, here:
https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/printthread.php?t=25201&pp=10&page=1
Ch.
 

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top