(should I give up?) 32.2.4.6 > 52

[elizabeth]

Ok so "should I give up" was not the real question, but that was the thought that prompted it. The real question: How can I best cultivate a relationship with him? 32.2.4.6 > 52 Keeping still/Duration

Because we have 52 Keeping Still (no action) the response doesn't sound promising. I'm looking to see if there is reason to view this, as I have been, as a giving small doses of communication/time/energy to this over the longer haul, to obtain greater reward (ie a real relationship with him). Or, should I just forget about him in those terms? I dont know if the Yi has the answer but I'm willing to listen to whatever it may advise.

So to dissect the reading:

32= "Duration is the self-contained and therefore self-renewing movement of an organized, firmly integrated whole." Long continuance. /When it is said that movement in any direction whatever will be advantageous, this implies that when the moving power is spent, it will begin again.

Line 2: all occasion for repentance disappearing / there is no remorse is because the line does not overstep the limits of moderation. / indicates outcome would be fine if you don't go too deep. Keep it simple.

Line 4 shows a field where there is no game. / Persistence in search is not enough. What is not sought in the right way is not found. / don't look for something in the relationship that doesn't exist. Perhaps the other in this relationship can't satisfy something that you want: know that early on, and make a decisive choice about the fact. But don't keep pursuing something that's just not there.

Line 6 subject exciting himself to long continuance. There will be evil./ It's fine. It's perfect. Leave it alone. Quit fiddling with it./ Don't allow anxieties to run around in the head. / Allow yourself to settle into the relationship, don't overwork it, don't cast about for alternatives, just look for some peace within its restrictions: restlessness in the relationship will undermine it.
[L6 is about your standards and values within the relationship; look at them. Changing line 6 of 32 (only!) = hex. 50 The Cauldron, which could symbolise the relationship you want to have...]

BUT we end with Hex 52, Keeping still.


So does this mean not only can I not do anything to cultivate this relationship, but that I *should keep still* (ie no action)? There isn't any/much action going on as it is...

 

[RindaR]

Perhaps LiSe's 52 will clarify... http://www.yijing.nl/i_ching/hex_49-64/hex_e_52.htm

Is this helpful?

 

[elizabeth]

Hi Rinda,
It does shed some light, thank you -- but mostly it just reflects my question back to me. I'll quote that link:

Find back the roots of your essential being.
One can only find one's base, one’s own territory, by turning away from the world. This does not mean to leave it, but as long as the world has any influence on actions, thoughts or feelings, one is not truly oneself. There will always be an inner distance.
Without this distance one will move in accord with the deepest self, every movement will be in harmony with the time. When the time asks for action, nothing will stand in its way. If it is time for stillness, no effort is needed to obtain it. Life is now, is here. Everything that goes beyond the situation of now and here is impairing.
When the self is strong and pure, contact with the world stays clean. Words will be true and essential, deeds will not exceed what is right, and one has a natural selection of what one accepts from others. True is hard as stone.

My issue is that my inner world has been in fact formed and affected *by* the outer world. By propriety. By society. By accepted rules of social behavior. What I *want to do* doesnt always mesh with what is *dictated* by the time. And so that's my question: do i act on impulse or continue to restrain myself?

Life is here now yes...but here, in the now, I'm thinking about this person (a lot) and want to contact him. Does that mean I should? Is it a sign from the universe to pursue my instincts and feleings? OR am I to deny/repress them based on societal norms, ie has he contacted you recently (no). Who last wrote whom? (He wrote me 2 weeks ago, i never replied bc the message didnt require a reply at the time). And so forth.

I understand the Yi is saying if yoúre sincere, probably no harm will be done. But I have always sort of felt that there is a right and wrong action in a given situation, and that you can get yourself in longterm trouble, you can ruin the right opportunity by misstepping. Hence, my question: which way should I step??

 

[elizabeth]

OKaaay wait, rewind, stop, back up.

IF (if) the Yi is saying in Lise's post, that you have to remain true to yourself, then the answer is "no don't give up." But would the Yi ever really say "yes, you're wasting your time?" Even if the man I was asking about was, for example, a mass murderer and evil person?? I dont think it ever has...

In any case I think it is saying in 52, that if I cut out all the external noise, I will do the right thing -- ie not listen to what society/friends/family/relatives/advisers tell me. but listen inside first and then act. Kind of like, put on blinders.

(But that is scary bc I do not always hear the right thing to do and very often have seriously made big mistakes doing that!)

* * *

After reading many of the other archived threads, I was inspired to ask a few other questions. I dont know if these are helpful or if the Yi is even answering me now but here goes:

1) Picture of my relationship with M? 21.6 and 24
Line 6 shows him from whom comes the nourishing. His position is perilous, but there will be good fortune. It will be advantageous to cross the great stream./ Hex 21.6 a person determined to do their own thing despite be warned not to, who ends upon in a lot of trouble. / We are dealing with an incorrigible wrongdoer. The only recourse is to fully remove this person from the general population or the group, or to fully cancel the person's privileges. / His neck is fastened in the wooden cangue, so that his ears disappear. Misfortune. / If your partner will not hear you, reconciliation cannot occur.

Is it saying I am invisible to him? (probably!) or this is a one-way street, and I'm hoping things are different? It's advantageous to cross the great stream ... and forge a friendship? (I am getting on a plane in 2 days by the way, crossing more than a great stream, crossing a huge ocean in fact)...

Confucious: "If good does not accumulate, it is not enough to make a name for a man. If evil does not accumulate, it is not strong enough to destroy a man. Therefore the inferior man thinks to himself, 'Goodness in small things has no value,' and so neglects it. He thinks, 'Small sins do no harm,' and so does not give them up. Thus his sins accumulate until they can no longer be covered up, and his guilt becomes so great that it can no longer be wiped out."

I can only think that this is reflecting either M's behavior or mine. If it is my beheavior, it is saying that little things are worth doing and they add up over time. Likewise small sins are still sins, and also accumulate over time. But how this relates to the overall relationship i'm not sure... I have tried hard to not make any mistakes in relating to him. My approach has been like pouring water slowly over the seed, not overwatering, but not neglecting, and hoping that over the long time (in months or years) something may come of this. Ie start with friendship , communication and hope...


2) Is he interested in me at all? 51.1.3.4> 15 modesty/integrity
I spent quite a bit of time interpreting these lines. And I keep focusing on the 4th because it resonates with some astrological readings that have been done about this relationship, saying the same thing: Namely, that he is now "stuck in the mire", cannot move (he's in an astrological "pit" as it were). This fits and matches that reading. The interest then has to be seen in lines 1, 3 or in the final hexagram. I tend to see 15 as "he is modest" (or I am), "he has integrity" (or thinks I do).

Line 1: The fear and trembling engendered by shock come to an individual at first in such a way that he sees himself placed at a disadvantage as against others. But this is only transitory. When the ordeal is over, he experiences relief, and thus the very terror he had to endure at the outset brings good fortune in the long run.
Well that is a very positive line. It means no matter how bad it was at the outset, it will be "good fortune in the end" However, as we know, "good fortune" from the Yi doesnt mean I will be with the man in question. So It's hard to know what is meant here.

line 3: subject is distraught amid startling movements. If those movements excite him to right action, there will be no mistake./There are three kinds of shock – the shock of heaven, which is thunder, the shock of fate, and, finally, the shock of the heart. The present hexagram refers less to inner shock than to the shock of fate. In such times of shock, presence of mind is all too easily lost; the individual overlooks all opportunities for action of mutely lets fate take its course. But if he allows the shocks of fate to induce movement within his mind, he will overcome these external blows with little effort.

I dont know if this means *he* is startled by my actions (whenever I say or do something). Or that I am startled by his.
"Presence of mind is all too easily lost" probably is addressed at me. But I feel calm and centered -- just not sure how to approach things going forward (or if I should "approach" at all, even thru casual conversation)
If I allow the shocks of fate to induce movement mentally I'll move forward. Okaaay...Move forward to what? To action?? (this isnt answering my actual question ...)