Should I go or not?

[hebe]

Hi...I am particularly confused by the various takes on castings depending on who you read..and sometimes the answers can be complete opposites. For example...should I go to x for a temporary pretty amazing house sit overseas.., was my thought...I have been offered it...and I had asked 'what opportunities would taking this have.' ....24 unchanging. Considering this is a time of deep transition and vital choices I thought it might be a good option to reflect, have some space, find my own inner strength......but then I read in pathfinder that it could also signify a return to old habits...and at a point where I need a stable home, this temporary position could just be exactly that...taking another 3 week residential house sit and avoiding the pain of establishing myself, renting etc.....I also felt the job may be a bit isolated and lonely given that my thoughts are still struggling to overcome grief. But, it could be amazing...depending on my attitude and opportunities...It might be exactly what I need...a break from this country, patterns etc....but I need to make a decision and am unduly worried by the decision because every week is a week of not knowing where I will be.

I decided to ask for a picture of my time there..and received 45.4.5 to 2. And once again it seemed that every take i read gave me a different opinion on the lines...and so,I am now more confused and worried about either missing an opportunity...or in fact getting into an old habit (avoidance of the real issue) and making things worse. My initial response to both answers was a yes....but the more I read the more it seemed that various forum threads were in fact suggesting the opposite. 45.5 seemed to suggest certain mental habits posing a problem..and this could be very true...and also the ability to nourish myself at risk..with eating well....

I appreciate you may think, well, I won't reply because whatever I say it can be interpreted differently, but I really would appreciate your thoughts on this one. Thank you!

 

[blue_angel]

"What opportunities will taking this trip have?" 24 rest, renewal, recovery, and a return to your path.Sounds like a good trip to me.

 

[ginnie]

I agree 100% with blue_angel. For you this trip means recovery and rejuvenation -- all those good "re-" words, including a nice rest.

 

[hebe]

Thanks so much...I couldn't find the thread for some reason. So...just to qualify this...a return to old habits and patterns....maybe not so relevant? Certainly rest, rejuvenation, renewal is vital..as is clearing my head of old defunct fear and emotions. But the 16 days on my own without any other people worried me, maybe I could find people in the area to chat to! It does say...friends come and go doesn't it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained??? Many thanks for your replies blue angel and ginnie....

 

[Trojina]

I don't get any strong directives from the readings. 24 could mean there is no need to venture forth from where you are as well as meanings given above. I don't think 24 ever means the return of old habits in a negative sense. But it can mean one can drop and idea and return to one's own way.

However the thought that came to me was 'what if it didn't matter ?'. What if it didn't matter much in the scheme of things whether you went or whether you didn't ? I say that because you anxiety about the choice seems more painful than either option.

Not all choices make big waves in our lives do they. If you go you go and if you don't then you don't. Have previous retreats made a huge difference ? Ooops sorry not a retreat it's a house sit...but perhaps it is also a retreat of a kind.

45.4.5>2 well I think 45.5 is very much an 'up to you' line. How much you get from something depends on how much you invest.

What if it didn't matter much either way ? Just as an experiment what would you do if it really didn't matter much ? If there was nothing much to lose or gain, hence no great anxiety hanging on the choice, as there seems to be now, what would you do ?

 

[blue_angel]

That's interesting, that was my first thought too. That it really wouldn't matter much if you stay or go. Its more up to you. Only because when I look back on my times of receiving 24, it was really not anything significant. Like a light rest, a no worries type of time. Which was good considering some of the times, I too had some sort of anxiety. 24 comes and says no worries at this time. I now look at it as my time to rejuvenate should I choose to. No deep work. No major transformation.

 

[ginnie]

You sound a bit frazzled and I think the time away will be just what the doctor ordered. Hexagram 24 signifies a time when you hit the re-set button, figuratively speaking.

I think it's important to keep a calm mind and not let the various interpretations start chasing each other round and round inside the head! When that starts to happen: stop!

 

[innertruth]

For me, return 24 always meant - go back, return to previous thinking/idea. Or that you shouldn't think that way.

 

[hebe]

Hello....yes. Thank you so much....it seems as of there is a genersl conscensus of opinion....and what if it didnt matter? well the deadline of needing to either cancel or not is blocking that thought. but as you say, it is more about the long term....not the short term....so why am i getting so hung up! because my ex husband is returning to uk 2 after his 3 months rehab trip (after his head injury cycle accident) 2 days after i would get back from the house sit and i am anxious about not being anwhere stable and being vulnersble to that emotional pressure as he picks up again with the other women friends and ex lovers and the potential lovers.... i wary about giving power to words as I write, but it's all come much of a huge anxiety...and although I have a place to rest my head over the next two weeks, albeit in 5 different places, it's exhausting. I had a good reading for this dynamic osho retreat which I am on as a return to human exchange....warmth, which it certainly isand I did it as it said circumstances make it clear what you need to do 9.2 Hilary...., but after almost a year of being on the edge ...I can't decide anything at all and each decision freezes me. I have to let her know one way or the other and I am totally blocked. The anxiety attacks at night are disabling and frightening ..and I almost dread sleeping. Everything is of my own making I know but I couldn't get over the emotional wounding of my husbands accident and then being with the truth of his way of life after our separation before the accident. I wish I could get over it and move on, but the fear of renting , finding work to pay for it ..and where...freezes me again. I cry alot, I have lost just over a stone and I find it hard to be cheerful....(next step...33.4.... And I feel sad to be the small person when I so want to be the noble one. ...) it's a bit of a mess...and yet I had genuine opportunities to move on many months ago, after a reading with Hilary....it wasn't so fettered then. But back to the house sit...if it didn't matter either way?.. I just don't know. Yikes...sorry..just re read this it sounds very small...

 

[blue_angel]

Hexagram 24 - 7 days, going out and returning. No problem. No harm. Friends come and go. I think your own initial thoughts are correct. "An amazing house sit, a chance to reflect, have some space, and build your inner strength."

Seems logical to get away, and reset. When you return, you should feel refreshed. With a clear and relaxed mind, you'll be more than capable of working through each situation, as it presents itself. The house sit sounds "God sent." Not many people get such advantages.

Best wishes on your journey

 

[hebe]

Thank you.....as you say, it could be god sent....and comes at a time when I need to open up to the realities of what I am creating through being fear driven. A time of transformation for sure...the 'tower' , the 'thunderbolt' ...all with the repercussions of being blocked and frozen as i hold on so tightly amd repress the deep pain. So...the snow always invigorates me, dogs invigorate me...and walking on forest trails in snowshoes invigorates me.....the qualities I need to bring in are sharing, expressing my self, being receptive and open to the joy of spontaneous living....without the control of every moment....fearful of decisions without some outside imput. Impossible to live this way any longer and perhaps with the intentions of opening my heart, meditating, feeling the pain but sharing with whomever crosses my path. There is an ice skating rink nearby...that could be a whole lot of fun...just need to change my perspective from us.....to me...and wanting to write home to mum...I will share it with her in her essence of love ..I still feel her beautiful presence around me....a change in attitude needed..and a big dose of gratitude for the circumstances that are leading me to transformation ultimately as the past has gone and has gone for many months...but my awareness is now very much being drawn to how much control and resistance to letting go I am living in. Whatever happens, I will let you know for sure. With gratitude , hebe